Had my father known this would happen? Please, God, don’t let that be true. “How many…?” I couldn’t finish the question.
“I’ll continue to screw you until Joe does.”
He unlocked the door and I stumbled out of the office, feeling numb, sick to my stomach, and deeply ashamed. The door shut behind me, and I was startled to see Roberta in the hallway, emerging from the kitchen.
“Hilary?” she asked in surprise.
I shook my head in embarrassment, fighting tears as I ran for the front door. Would Roberta think I’d deserved my fate, just as I’d thought poor Della did? I couldn’t look her in the eyes and see her disappointment and condemnation. Not from her.
I climbed into my car as she ran out the door.
“Hilary!” she shouted as I pulled around the circular drive and out of the gate.
I sped home, going twenty miles over the speed limit. I wanted a police officer to pull me over so when he asked why I was speeding I could tell him that J.R. Simmons had just raped me. But it wasn’t rape, as J.R. had pointed out while I lay on my back, without any fight, spreading my legs for him to screw me. Several times.
No, I’d just become his whore.
My mother was waiting for me when I got home, an anxious look on her face. For a brief moment, I thought maybe she suspected what had happened in J.R.’s office, but she seemed more concerned about whether their deal had been broken. “Don’t worry, Mother,” I said as I climbed the stairs with achy legs. “You and Dad are safe.”
“So you worked it out with J.R.”
I slowly spun around to face her. “J.R. made me give him a blowjob and took my virginity on his desk, all in the name of keeping Joe happy in the bedroom. Does that sound like working it out to you?”
I wasn’t sure what I expected from her. That she’d accuse me of lying? Get angry and call the police? I got neither reaction.
She lifted her chin, her jaw clenching. “Whatever it takes.”
My mouth dropped. “You would whore your daughter out to get what you want?”
“It’s time to grow up, Hilary. The world revolves around sex. How do you think I got your dad? J.R. is doing you a favor. Joe has a wandering eye, just like his father and grandfather before him. If you can make him happy in bed, you have a better chance of keeping him there. And if anyone would know what keeps a man happy, it’s J.R. Simmons.”
“I’m seventeen years old!”
She shrugged, her eyes hard. “And you’re a year younger than I was when I started to have sex to get what I wanted.” She climbed two steps. “Sex is a powerful weapon, Hilary. It’s brought many a man to his knees. The better you are at it, the more control you’ll have over your relationship with Joe.” She paused. “And J.R. is very, very good.”
My mother had screwed J.R. Simmons. How perverted were these people? “I will never be like that,” I said in a tight, shaky voice. “I will never manipulate Joe with sex.”
“There are far worse things, Hilary.” She sighed. “You’ve had a busy day. Go to bed and get a good night’s sleep.”
She’d equated getting raped multiple times by her best friend’s husband to a busy day.
I spun around and ran into my room, locking the door behind me. The rest of the night was spent trying to formulate an escape plan. I couldn’t live through another night in J.R.’s office. If I stole my mother’s jewelry and ran off to Little Rock, I could sell it at a pawn shop and live on the cash until I found a job. But Little Rock was too close. They’d find me there. Maybe I could go to Memphis. Or Tulsa. But I couldn’t leave now. I would need more of a head start. I would run away on Monday morning. My mother would think I’d left for school, which would buy me a good eight hours to get far, far away from them.
Even with my flimsy plan in place, I barely slept, and the next day I refused to open my door when my mother knocked. Well into the afternoon, I heard another knock and shouted, “Go away!”
“Hilary, it’s Joe.”
My pulse pounded in my head. Did he know? Did he know the disgusting things his father had made me do? I couldn’t face him, but I knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t go away until he saw me. I slid off my bed and padded to the door, opening it a crack. “What do you want?”
“Can I come in? Your mom called and told me you weren’t feeling well.”
“And you came over?”
“Of course,” he said in disbelief. “I care about you.”
But not enough. If only he’d loved me enough, I wouldn’t have been forced to deal with the humiliation I’d endured the night before. Part of me wanted to slam the door in his face and tell him to leave me alone forever, but I couldn’t. I still loved the boy standing in my doorway, and it only made me hate myself more. I opened the door the rest of the way and let him in.
He stared at my rumpled bed covered in wadded tissues. “Do you have a cold? Is that why your nose is all red and your eyes are puffy?”
I wanted to laugh. I wanted to cry. Instead, I nodded. “Yeah. It’s a cold.”
He hesitated, as if he could tell something between us had changed. “When my dad found out you weren’t feeling well, he asked me to bring you something.”
“What is it?” I asked suspiciously as I sat on my bed, fear warming my blood.
Joe sat next to me and pulled an envelope out of his pocket. “I don’t know. He said for you to read it while I’m here so I can bring back a response.”
I reached a shaky hand toward him, but instead of handing the envelope to me, he set it in his lap and caught my hand between both of his.
“Hey, are you okay?” He sounded worried. “You’re shaking and your hands are freezing.”
“I’m fine. Low blood sugar. I haven’t eaten today.”
“Let me get you something. Whatever you want.”
“I only want you,” I whispered, fighting back tears.
He gave me a cocky grin. “You’ve already got me, Hils.” But when he noticed how upset I was, he sat back on the bed and gave me a soft kiss. “How about we spend the whole day together? I’ll go get a pizza and rent a cheesy movie and we’ll hole up here. Sound good?”
I started to cry. I felt dirty even though I must have showered five times since coming home the night before. J.R. Simmons claimed he was teaching me how to keep Joe, but now I felt as if I didn’t deserve him.
His hand cupped my cheek and he kissed me, a deep soulful kiss for a boy of seventeen. “I know it hurts you when I go out with other girls, but don’t you feel trapped by our parents’ expectations?”
I cried even harder.
“Hils, I love you. I do. But when we’re finally together, I want to be with you and no one else. Does that makes sense? Which means I want to date all the girls I’d never bring home to my parents while we’re too young for it to matter.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck, still sobbing. He had no idea how much it did matter.
“Hey.” His voice took on a hard tone. “Something happened. You’re not one of those weeping girls, so something bad must have happened.”
I took a deep breath. If I told him, would he believe me? Would he help me? The look in his eyes told me he would. Maybe he’d run away with me. He hated the weight of his parents’ expectations as much as I hated the expectations everyone had for me. Maybe it was time for me to come clean and tell him everything.
Understanding lit up his sad eyes. “Oh. I’m so stupid. You heard about Roberta. I know you loved her too.”
My blood turned to ice. “What about Roberta?”
“She’s gone. Quit. She left El Dorado without even saying goodbye.”
I shook my head in dismay. “What?”
“Dad said she quit last night. The weird thing is she wasn’t even working last night. Kate is devastated, and so am I. She’s—she was more of a mom than Betsy ever was, which is what makes this so hard.” His voice wavered. “I never thought she’d just leave me.”
Could her sudden resignation
have something to do with me? “I didn’t know…”
He took my hand and squeezed. “I’m going to get our pizza and a movie. When I come back, you can tell me what’s bothering you.” He absently picked up the envelope in his lap and started for the door.
I watched the envelope, terrified of its contents. “Hey, Joe. Did you say you had something for me?”
“Oh…yeah.” He handed it to me. “I almost forgot.”
He gave me a lingering kiss, then walked out the door. I waited to rip it open until I heard the front door downstairs open and close.
Hilary,
I’m sure you’ve heard the sad news about Roberta. While I’ve told Kate and Joe that Roberta resigned and left without even telling them goodbye, the truth is I let her go. You have only yourself to blame. Just like you ran to her nearly eight years ago, you ran to her last night and asked her to come to your aid. And now she’s gone.
I need you to keep this entire situation to yourself. If you do not, I will have Roberta arrested for felony theft for stealing from the family who trusted her for years. If you dare breathe a single word to anyone about our arrangement, she will rot away in prison for what’s left of her natural life.
Joe is awaiting your answer. And right now I’m thinking of all the delectable things we’re going to do to each other at your next lesson. Tell Joe your answer is that you can’t wait. I’ll ask him specifically what you said, so do be sure to be a good girl and get it right. Think about poor Roberta.
J.R.
I broke into fresh sobs. I hadn’t asked Roberta to intervene on my behalf, but she must have put two and two together. Now her life hinged on my actions. Screw J.R. and save her, or run away and have her put in prison for the rest of her life. She was in her sixties. She’d never survive there. J.R. knew I loved her too much to let that happen.
But J.R.’s promise…threat…echoed in my head. I’ll continue to screw you until Joe does. His ultimate goal was for me to have sex with Joe and keep him as mine. One way or another, I was going to have sex, whether I wanted to or not. If I had to pick between the two men, it wasn’t even a matter of choosing.
I knew I could convince Joe to have sex with me. And I was right. As we lay on my bed that night, watching a stupid rom-com, I seduced my future husband. It was even easier than I’d expected. I employed a few tricks I’d learned courtesy of Joe’s father, feeling dirtier and dirtier by the minute, but I justified my actions by reminding myself that I had no choice. This was the destiny that had been planned for me, and my seduction of Joe would make both of our lives easier. Even though I could barely look at myself in the mirror for weeks afterward.
But if I’d thought that sleeping with Joe would end my seduction lessons with J.R., I was devastatingly wrong.
My life lessons with J.R. Simmons had only just begun.
And now I was in Henryetta, Arkansas, twelve years later, still trying to make Joe Simmons mine.
Just like everyone else in my life, Rose Gardner underestimated me. Sure, she might be with Mason Deveraux right now, but Joe couldn’t let her go. And as long as Joe couldn’t let her go, she was a threat. I hadn’t gone to hell and back to give up now. There was too much at stake. I pressed my hand to my still-flat stomach. This baby was supposed to make Joe marry me. I’d never expected him to put up such a fight. Only further proof of how deep Rose Gardner had sunk her claws.
As long as Joe held out hope that Rose would come back to him, he would never marry me. With J.R.’s deadline looming around the corner, I knew I needed to step up my game.
One thing was certain: Rose Gardner needed to go. And it had to be soon.
Part Three
Chapter Eleven
Mason
I arrived at Merilee’s a few minutes before noon. I had planned to walk over to Rose’s office, but her truck wasn’t out front. Parking around the courthouse and town square was lighter than it was most weekdays, so it wouldn’t have been hard to find. She’d gone somewhere. And that made me nervous.
The nature of her business had her traveling all around the county, of course, so that wasn’t what made me nervous. It was the whole J.R. Simmons mess that had me on edge. Joe’s text had confirmed that my own life was still in danger. It wasn’t a huge stretch to think hers might be as well. Only I wasn’t sure what to do about that. All the more reason to tell her what I could so she’d be more careful, if that were even possible for her. She seemed to land herself in more dangerous situations than any other person I knew. The fact that she always managed to get out of them was the one reassurance that kept me from insisting on putting her under twenty-four-hour protection.
When I walked in the door, Bonnie, one of the waitresses, greeted me from across the emptier-than-usual restaurant. “Hey, Mr. Deveraux. How many?”
I smiled. Moving to Henryetta had been the hardest transition I’d ever made. It was probably the furthest you could get from Little Rock, but I had grown to appreciate that half the people in the downtown area knew who I was and greeted me by name. “Just two today.”
“If you’re looking for a more romantic table—” she gave me a sly grin and winked, “—you can sit in that table for two in the back corner.” She tilted her head in that direction as she served hot plates to a table of customers.
No one would ever call Merilee’s romantic, but it did have its own appeal. Rose and I had eaten lunch here together plenty of times before we started seeing each other. But today I was thankful for the added privacy.
I slipped off my coat and took a seat. Several minutes later the bell on the door jingled and Rose walked in, her cheeks pink and her hair—which was loose today—slightly mussed from the wind. As soon as she spotted me in the corner, a warm loving smile broke loose on her face. I watched her walk toward me and I knew I’d give everything I had for this woman—including my life—as long as she continued looking at me like that.
I stood as she approached and helped her off with her coat, draping it over the back of her chair. But before she could sit, I pulled her into my arms and gave her a lingering kiss. When I lifted my head, surprise flashed in her eyes, quickly replaced with playfulness. “I missed you this morning at breakfast.”
I grinned down at her, my chest filling with happiness. “I missed you too, but I hope we can make up for it now.” I gave her another quick peck and pulled out her chair, then sat down across from her.
She placed her hands on the table, palms flat, and her playfulness faded. “Mason, about this morning—”
Shaking my head, I reached across the table and took her hand in mine. “Rose, if you’re trying to apologize, please don’t. I’m the one who needs to be offering up an apology.”
“I don’t like fightin’ with you, Mason. I felt awful until you called.”
I tightened my grip on her hand. “I don’t like fighting with you either, but we have plenty more fights in our future, I’m sure. If one of us is upset, we need to discuss it rather than let it fester and drive a wedge between us.”
“I know you’re right, but it still makes me feel terrible.”
I leaned closer and gave her a wicked smile. “Think of all the makeup sex we can have.”
Bonnie walked up to the table, trying to hide the smirk that told me she’d overheard, and Rose’s face flushed.
“I told you this spot was more romantic,” Bonnie teased. “I only wish I had some wine to serve with your lunch.”
The red hue of Rose’s face deepened.
I looked up at the waitress and gave Rose’s hand another squeeze. “I’ll take a club sandwich and a water. Rose?” I asked, glancing over at her.
She pushed out a breath and looked up at the waitress. “A house salad with ranch dressing on the side and iced tea.”
As soon as Bonnie walked away with our order, Rose pulled her hand from mine and whacked my arm. “Mason!”
“I’m sorry.” I laughed. “I wouldn’t have said it if I’d known she was right there.”
Her lips pressed into a pout, but the promise of a grin teased the corners of her mouth. “You owe me, big time.”
“Anything you want.”
“Anything?” She lifted her eyebrows and her voice took a husky tone.
Her words stole my breath away. Some days I still found it hard to believe she was mine. “You know I’d give you anything, Rose.”
“Then tell me what you were doin’ in Little Rock.”
I stared deep into her hazel eyes for a moment. Once I crossed this line, there would be no going back. But this directly involved her. She had a right to know. “You already suspect.”
“You’re diggin’ up dirt on Joe’s father.” When I nodded, she pressed on. “And did you find anything?”
I sucked in a deep breath to steady my nerves, suddenly having second thoughts. “Yes and no.”
“What’s that mean?”
I considered telling her about both leads, but I wasn’t sure about Dora Middleton’s involvement in the possible extortion scheme. Rose was just coming to terms with her birth mother’s existence. I didn’t want to tell her that Dora might have been involved in criminal activity without more evidence. “It means I found a potential lead that might help us.”
She leaned closer and lowered her voice. “What is it?”
I leaned closer as well. “I think I found an incident in Columbia County a year and a half ago. It sounds like a construction company might have bribed county officials to win a bid for an addition to a county government office building.”
She shook her head slightly. “What does that have to do with J.R.?”
“He owns the corporation that owns the construction company.”
Realization lit up her face, followed fast by skepticism. “Would he really be that sloppy?”
“No. That’s part of the problem. All I have so far are rumors. I need to do some digging in Magnolia.”
Fear flickered in her eyes. “Is that smart, Mason? Isn’t it going to look suspicious if you’re digging around in another county?”
Ripple of Secrets: Rose Gardner Mystery Novella #6.5 (Rose Gardner series Book 3) Page 10