“You sure?” Ben asked, making his way toward her. “I don’t want you tiring yourself out.” They’d been trying hard for a baby, and had hopes that it’d finally happened. And while he’d always been protective of her, he was even more so now. Hell, he was fucking terrified. When she was finally pregnant, if anything happened to her or the baby, it would kill him, plain and simple. “I want you taking it easy now that we’re home.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Ben, I think I can handle driving over to Mike’s.”
He knew better than to outright forbid her to do anything, since the little hellcat would have him by his balls if he did. But he wasn’t going to give in that easily. “Reese, it’s going to be a pain in the ass. Whoever goes over there will probably have to help him get rid of whatever poor girl he’s got in his bed, and you know what they’re like. Mike’s fuck-buddies never leave easily.”
“I can handle it,” she assured him, eyes twinkling as she pressed her hands against his chest and stared up at him with a smug grin. “You just go and do your thing with Ryder.”
Ryder choked off a laugh behind him, and Ben couldn’t help but smile as he teased her. “I’m afraid I only do my thing with you now, Mrs. Hudson. And Ryder’s got Lily. I don’t think he’s interested in me that way.”
She blushed as she realized what she’d said, then burst out laughing. “That’s not what I meant,” she giggled, smacking him on the shoulder as she hid her face against his chest.
Leaning down, Ben put his lips to her ear and whispered, “When I get home, I want you in bed. Naked. Wet and ready for me. Then I’ll do my thing.”
Ryder cleared his throat. “I’m just gonna head out and give you two a moment. Ben, I’ll meet you out front,” the deputy said with a smile in his voice, moving around them as he left the room, his footsteps echoing against the hardwood floor in the hallway as he headed toward the front of the house.
“Sorry if I embarrassed you,” she whispered.
Ben grinned as he wrapped her up tight in his arms. “You could never embarrass me, angel.”
She tilted her head back and caught his gaze, a wry grin on her lips. “I’m sure that’s not true.” Leaning up on her tiptoes, she rubbed her mouth against his, the feel of her soft lips making his breath catch as she quietly said, “What you whispered in my ear just now . . . I’m glad. I was worried you might have gotten enough of me while we were away.”
“I’ll never get enough of you,” he growled, gripping her head in his hands as he took control of the kiss, sliding his tongue past her lips with greedy hunger, as undone by the taste of her now as he had been at the beginning of their relationship. It still took him by surprise, how being with her never lost its edge. Instead of leveling off, his need only grew more intense, and he knew it was because he was head-over-ass in love with her.
And he wouldn’t have it any other way.
As he lowered one hand down the front of her body, covering the soft curve of her belly, he couldn’t hide his excitement. “I have a good feeling about this,” he murmured, his breath rough as he lifted his head.
Her soft smile made his chest warm. She was so goddamn beautiful, and she was his, and he was going to do everything in his power to get a baby inside her, if he hadn’t already done it. He hoped they had a girl first. A chubby little angel who had her mother’s dark eyes and hair and adorable freckles.
“I’m meant to start my period tomorrow,” she told him, her voice husky with emotion. “If I still haven’t started by the end of the week, let’s do one of those early pregnancy tests.”
He started to smile in response, his heart doing a funny flip behind his ribs, until she killed his good mood by saying, “Now what do you want me to tell Mike?”
“I don’t want you—”
“Ben, I can do this,” she argued, cutting him off. “I’ll be careful, I promise. But you know I can’t stay coddled up in this house all the time, even after I’m pregnant. It would drive me crazy.”
He sighed and shoved a hand back through his hair, feeling like an idiot. “I know, baby. I just . . . I hate to let you out of my sight.”
“I feel the same way about you, you know.” She smiled again as she lifted her hand and cupped his cheek. “But the sooner you catch the bad guy, the sooner you can come back home to me. So let me do this.”
Knowing she was right, he told her what to say to Mike, then gave her a hard kiss before letting her go to get her shoes on and grab her keys. Just before she disappeared into the hallway, she suddenly turned back to him, her dark eyes shadowed with concern. “I’m so worried about Brit. You will find him, right?”
“You know we will,” he said with conviction, hating to see her upset. “And Alex isn’t going to let her get hurt. He’ll do whatever it takes to protect her.”
She nodded, then started to frown again. “I just hope he doesn’t blow his shot to keep her around after she’s no longer in danger.”
Ben held her gaze, wishing he could make a promise about that, as well. But they both knew that when it came to Alex and commitment, the odds weren’t in Brit’s favor. Hell, she probably had a better chance at winning the fucking lottery or living on Mars.
But because they wanted to see him happy, they were going to hold out hope, just the same.
12
ALEX SCOWLED AS HE WATCHED BRIT RUMMAGING THROUGH HER closet, taking out work clothes that she’d insisted they stop by her house to pick up before heading back to his place. The drive from Miami to Moss Beach had taken longer than he’d planned, thanks to some idiot drunk driver crossing into oncoming traffic and causing a hell of a pileup on the highway. Now it was almost time for dinner, and instead of having her secured in his condo, they were wasting time at her house. A place he wasn’t comfortable with her being at.
Deputies had been taking turns watching the house, so there weren’t any ugly surprises waiting for them when they arrived, but being there still made him edgy. For all they knew, Shepherd could be watching the place, though it certainly seemed as if he was currently busy evading arrest. Ben had called on the drive home and brought him up to date on their lead at the Sunset Shores campground. But Alex didn’t want to take any chances. Shepherd was messed up in the head, which meant he wasn’t thinking clearly, which meant you couldn’t apply logic to his actions. And that made him damn difficult to protect against.
As he watched her pack yet another pair of sexy heels into the bag on her bed, Alex rolled his shoulders. “Hurry up, Doc. I want you out of this place.”
She slid him one of those sexy sideways looks through the fall of her hair. It always reminded him of a forties starlet when she did that, and he felt his body stiffen with more than tension as she said, “Alex, relax. There’s still a deputy waiting outside. We’re fine.”
He grunted in response, hating that she could sound so cool and composed when he was the polar opposite. Of course, he knew much of her calm demeanor was just an act. He was learning that the calmer she became, the more worried she was on the inside. It was probably some therapy technique she’d taught herself, and while he appreciated that she wasn’t one of those women who ran around pulling her hair out in a frenzy of nerves, her “cool and controlled” spiel was putting him on even more of an edge.
That’s just because you like the idea of her clinging to you, begging for the big, strong man to protect her and keep her safe.
He scowled, wondering when the voice in his head had become such a fucking asshole. But he couldn’t argue with it. Damn it, he loved keeping her safe. Protecting her. Avenging her fucking honor.
He flexed his hand, enjoying the dull ache from where he’d slammed his fist into Jason Moore’s nose. God, that had been satisfying. Even if the detective decided to press charges against him—which he didn’t think had a chance in hell of happening—it would have been worth it. Maybe the next time the asshole wanted to rai
se his hand against a woman, he’d think twice before he acted.
Brit placed another pair of shoes in the bag, then finally zipped it closed. Alex started to reach out for it, but stopped when she turned her head to look at him, the uncertainty in her hazel eyes making him brace for something bad. “You’re sure this is what you want?”
He cocked his head to the side, caught off guard by the question. “You mean having you at my place?”
She licked her lips, then swallowed, those beautiful eyes swimming with emotion. “Yes.”
“If I didn’t, I would tell you to take Ben up on his offer to get some personal security guys over here. But that’s the last thing I want to happen, Brit. I want you with me.”
“All right,” she murmured, and there was no disguising how much relief he felt at the fact that she wasn’t ready for it to be over between them, either. He stepped closer with every intention of kissing her until she couldn’t even remember her own name, when someone started knocking on her front door. Who the hell was that going to be?
She paled as she stared up at him. “You don’t think Clay would—”
“Naw,” he murmured, cutting her off. “Don’t worry, Doc. It’s not him. There’s still a deputy parked out on the street, remember?”
They went downstairs, and while Brit hovered near his side, Alex peeked through the peephole in her door . . . then ground his jaw. Son of a fucking bitch. He couldn’t believe this guy’s audacity. Who the fuck did he think he was? Pulling the door open, he kept the handle gripped in his fist, ready to slam it at a moment’s notice, as he locked his narrow gaze on Ray McNamara. “What the hell are you doing here?” he barked, not caring that he sounded like a belligerent asshole.
Brit gasped beside him. “Alex!”
“Answer the question,” he snarled, keeping his attention focused on her boss. “What makes you think it’s okay to show up at her house?”
Ignoring him, McNamara turned his pale gaze on Brit. “I’m sorry for just showing up, but I was planning on leaving you this note if you weren’t at home,” he said, holding up a white envelope. “I know that Dr. Chin is taking your calls right now, but I wanted to let you know that your office has been cleaned and everything is back in its place. And I give you my word that this breach in security will not happen again.”
“My office?” she whispered. “What happened to my office? What breach are you talking about, Ray?”
McNamara’s brows lifted. “You don’t know?”
“Know what?” she demanded, sounding panicked now.
Alex wanted to use his fist to wipe the smug expression off the bastard’s face when McNamara slid him a gloating look. It was clear the pompous ass thought he’d just been handed the keys to the kingdom because of Alex’s screwup. Turning those icy blue eyes back on the doc, McNamara said, “I’m so sorry, Brit. If I’d known he was keeping it from you, I would have made sure I found a way to contact you.”
Her posture was stiff. “Keeping what from me? What’s going on, Ray?”
“It’s nothing,” Alex muttered, hating that she wouldn’t look at him. “I’ll tell you everything when this jackass gets lost.”
“What happened?” she snapped, completely ignoring Alex as she posed her question to McNamara.
“Clay Shepherd managed to sneak past the security guards on Friday night and break into your office,” McNamara told her, pushing a hand through his sandy-colored hair. “He went through the computer files he could access without your password, and he vandalized your things.”
Her head whipped in Alex’s direction, her beautiful face pinched with angry disbelief as she stared up at him. “Alex, is that true? Did you know? Is that why . . . ?” Her voice trailed off and she blanched, her gaze narrowing. “What the hell is going on?”
“Tell him to get lost,” he grunted, jerking his chin toward McNamara.
Her breath left her lungs in a sharp, angry burst. “That’s your response? Seriously?”
“We need to talk, but not in front of him.”
She shook her head a little as she closed her eyes, clearly trying to get control of her emotions. Taking a deep breath, she lifted her thick lashes and looked at McNamara. “I appreciate you stopping by, Ray, but I think it might be best if you left now.”
Sliding the envelope he’d been holding back into the inside pocket on his sports jacket, the asshole said, “I just wanted you to know that the building is secure. I’ve doubled the security staff. You’ll be safe there, Brit. I can even arrange for additional security.” Lowering his voice, he added, “There’s no need for you to keep hiding out with this low-class bastard.”
“Don’t!” she said loudly, at the same time Alex snarled, “Get the fuck out of here, McNamara. Now!”
* * *
BRIT DREW IN ANOTHER DEEP, SHUDDERING BREATH, SO ANGRY SHE wanted to scream. Somehow, she choked it back and managed to find a calmer tone as she addressed her boss. “I really do think it’s best if you leave now, Ray. I’ll be in touch with the department head later to let them know when I’ll be returning to the clinic.”
A muscle jumped along Ray’s jaw, but he accepted her choice with a muttered request for her to call him the next day, then turned to head back to the Mercedes he’d left parked on the street. The deputy watching her house was standing near the car, a curious look on his face. She watched Ray make his way down her front walkway until the front door slammed shut, then cut her angry gaze to the man turning toward her with his powerful arms crossed over his chest. Alex’s eyes were hooded, his mouth a flat, irritated line within his stubble-darkened cheeks.
Pacing away from him, she fisted her hands at her sides, then spun back around to face him. “You had no right to keep that from me, Alex. This whole damn weekend was a freaking lie!”
“Like hell it was. I just didn’t want you worrying about Shepherd any more than you already did while we were gone. You needed a break. You needed some time to just get away from it and relax.”
“That wasn’t for you to decide,” she snapped, hating that she’d been so blind. She felt like an idiot for the stars she’d had in her eyes the past few days, her pathetic heart going pitter-patter every time she thought about Alex wanting to get away with her. God, she could be so stupid when it came to men! Especially this one! He didn’t care about spending time with her. He simply hadn’t wanted her being at her office, where she would have more than likely been given Ray’s help while dealing with things.
Completely misunderstanding why she was upset, Alex said, “Damn it, Brit. If you would just calm down for a minute, you’d realize that you’re overreacting for no reason. We’ve had protection in place for your parents since learning about the information he accessed during the break-in.”
What? Her parents? Her thoughts spun so quickly she felt dizzy, and she had to reach out and grab hold of the back of a sofa. “Wait a minute. Are you telling me that my parents could be in danger, and you kept that from me?”
“Brit, we—”
“Jesus, Alex!” She pressed a fist against the center of her chest, where her heart was pounding so hard it ached. “My parents and I aren’t close. I hadn’t even called to tell them what was happening with Shepherd, so that must have come as a hell of a shock when the cops showed up to protect them. They’re probably so furious they won’t even talk to me now!”
He frowned, looking as if the idea of her parents being so cold troubled him. Then he shook it off, and muttered, “No one is in any danger, Brit. Your parents might be feeling a little . . . inconvenienced, but they’re safe. Shepherd isn’t getting anywhere close to them.”
“And what about my friends?”
“We’ve got that covered, as well. And Ben has the entire department on the search, as well as help from neighboring counties. We’re going to find this guy, and soon. Then everything can go back to the way it was.”
To the way it was . . .
There was something about the way he said that simple phrase that had white-hot pain ripping through her chest. She felt as if something she’d thought might finally be within reach was slowly slipping out of her grasp, too slippery to hold on to.
Damn it, why was it so fucking difficult for men to love her? Sure, Jason was an ass. But he hadn’t destroyed her. Hadn’t turned her into a hater, like Judith had nearly done with Alex. She’d been able to see Jason’s issues for what they were, once she’d removed herself from the situation. But it didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt, knowing she hadn’t been enough for him. That she’d never been enough for any man.
She wasn’t vain or full of ego. She knew there were more talented women out there. Smarter ones. Prettier ones. Skinnier ones. Women who were wittier, sexier, funnier than she could ever hope to be. But, damn it, that didn’t mean she was unlovable. And if she was, then by God, she wanted to know why! She wanted to know why this one man, who she wanted to feel at least something for her, no matter how small, couldn’t. She wanted him to look her in the eye and give her the honest to God’s truth. To just come out and tell her why she didn’t touch him any deeper than his surface. She needed it. Because if he didn’t make her understand, there was a strong chance she was going to walk away from this permanently scarred by the experience.
Swallowing her pride, Brit stepped toward him and nervously licked her lips. “What was Miami really about, Alex? Was that just your way of keeping me away from McNamara? Or was it . . . was it your way of saying good-bye?”
“Neither,” he grunted. “I just wanted you somewhere safe. Even if it was for only a few days. I just wanted you to have a break from it all.”
She had to fight to keep her voice from shaking as she searched his closed expression. “Was it all a lie?”
His eyes narrowed to piercing slits, his deep voice little more than a guttural rasp. “Was what a lie?”
“The way you were there. The way you looked at me. The way you touched me. Was any of it real?”
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