“It’s funny, but I’m a lot better at sorting out others’ emotional situations than I am my own.”
“Well, I’ll just take this opportunity to remind you of the little pep talk you once gave me about Ben. The one where you said you placed a lot of importance on the type of connection that can exist between a man and a woman. And let me just tell you that a person would have to be blind not to see that you and Alex definitely have one, Brit. He might not make it easy, and it’s probably scaring the hell out of him, but there’s no doubt that the two of you share something intense. It’s been there for as long as I’ve known both of you, even though neither one of you wanted to admit it, or accept it.”
Pulling in a deep breath, she realized Reese was right. Brit had been the one to coax her friend into taking a chance on Ben . . . and to give credence to their connection. But was she brave enough to take the advice and apply it to herself? Why was it so freaking hard to figure these things out when they pertained to her own life, and not to one of her patients?
Sliding Reese a wry look, she said, “You know, one of the reasons I’ve been so pissed at Alex is because of how he treats you.”
“I know,” Reese murmured, tilting her head a bit to the side. “And that makes you a great friend. It really does. But you need to stop and take a look at how he is with me now.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that Alex and I have been good for a long time, Brit. Really good.”
An uneasy sense of disbelief had her sitting up in her chair, but she could tell that Reese was being serious. Jesus, how had she not seen this? Had she been walking around with her head in her ass when it came to that man for so long that she no longer even saw him clearly?
Or had it been a simple safety reflex, since she’d known there was a good chance he could break her heart if she ever got too close to him? Had she been seeing what she wanted to see, because she knew it was safer to keep her distance from him?
“I feel like such a douche,” she blurted, which made Reese laugh.
“You’re not a douche,” Reese said gently. “And trust me, it wasn’t something that changed overnight. It took months before Alex and I warmed up to each other, but I can’t fault him, because I know where he’s coming from, and I know he was just looking out for his brother. But things are better now, and I don’t want you to think badly of him because of me. He’s a good man.”
“I know he is,” she sighed.
“So maybe you just need to do something now to remind him of how good the sex is between the two of you. You know, do something to really rock his world. Get in his face and don’t let him get away with ignoring you.”
Her lips twitched with a nervous smile. “Maybe. I’ve never really been the instigator.” No, she was always just swept up in his intensity, letting herself get wrapped up in his raw, aggressive sexuality, going along for the ride.
Giving her a wicked grin that definitely had a little bit of Ben in it, Reese said, “Well, there you go. Give him a chance to let off some steam and unwind.”
She nodded, her mind already buzzing with ideas . . . her insides churning with excitement. Oh, she knew she’d be nervous, but she wasn’t afraid to give it a shot. If anything, her time with Alex had taught her that she was woman enough to handle him. That he really did see her as someone who was sexy and worthy of his interest.
And, damn it, she wasn’t going to just let him slip away from her without a fight. Screw that. They could be over when this nightmare was finished, if that’s what he wanted. But until then, she was going to get as much of him as she could and at least know that she hadn’t held back from him. That she’d given it her all.
A half hour later, Mike showed up to bring Reese to the station, where Ben was waiting to take her out for a late dinner. Alex came out from his office to talk to his brother for a few minutes, scowling like an idiot when Mike gave Brit a good-bye hug. They walked them out to Mike’s truck, and as they came back inside, there was an eager, determined smile curving her lips. She was about to do something tonight that she never would have had the confidence to do a week ago. But now she was actually looking forward to it.
Heading into the kitchen, Brit started the dishwasher after loading up her and Reese’s coffee mugs, and thought about her plan of attack. She figured she would have to go and track Alex down when she was ready, assuming he’d headed straight for his office again. But he hadn’t. When she turned away from the sink, she was surprised to find him standing in the archway to the kitchen, his expression partly in shadow. She hadn’t turned on many lights when she and Reese came inside, the muted track lighting in the living room giving the space a soothing ambience that she hadn’t wanted to disrupt.
He watched her with a dark, hooded gaze. “Why the hell did you guys talk for so long?”
“Why?” she murmured, a small smile playing at the corner of her mouth as she moved toward him. “Did you miss me?”
He grunted at her teasing, shoving one of those rugged, masculine hands back through his short hair. His posture was tense, as if he’d been walking around carrying the weight of the world on his wide shoulders. She could sense the darkness swirling around him, through him. It was so much a part of him, she didn’t think that he would ever completely shake free of it, and it made her heart hurt. She cared about him to the point that she truly hoped he would one day find a way to be free of his past.
Even if it was with a woman who wasn’t her.
Oh, she wouldn’t be happy about it, because it would hurt like hell, and she’d probably have to move just to keep her sanity. But there would be a peace in knowing that he was happy. That he’d finally given himself the chance to live again.
Holding his shadowed gaze, she stopped a few feet in front of him, and decided to be direct and to the point. “So, are you done ignoring me?”
His lashes lowered a bit more, shielding the look in his eyes. “I wasn’t ignoring you.”
“Then prove it,” she said softly, walking around him and heading straight for the stairs. By the time she was halfway up, she’d already pulled her white T-shirt over her head and let it drop to the steps behind her.
When she reached back to undo her bra, his deep voice came from the bottom of the stairs. “What the hell are you doing, Doc?”
“You wanted me here.” She put a little extra sway in her hips as she climbed the last few steps to the upstairs landing. “Wouldn’t hear of me going anywhere else. So here I am.”
She walked into his bedroom without looking back at him. If he wanted her, he could come and get her. She wasn’t going to chase him.
When he came into the room, she was already pushing her unbuttoned jeans over her hips, taking them off along with her panties. His color was high, and she’d never seen his thick-lashed gaze so sharp and hot, the pale grayish green reminding her of molten silver.
“You want to fuck?” he grunted, sounding surly. Wary, even. “Is that what this is about?”
“I want to fuck you, Alex.” She lowered her gaze to the front of his jeans, where his cock had already thickened into an impressively long, thick ridge. “Looks like you want the same thing.”
He snorted as he shook his head. “I get hard whenever you walk in a room.”
“Then there’s no telling how you’ll react when I do this,” she drawled, crossing the space between them and dropping to her knees. Her hands shook as she yanked at the buttons on his jeans, desperate to get them open before he could stop her. His cock sprang out as if it’d been trapped in there against its will, pulsing against her palms as she wrapped her hands around the thick, vein-ridged shaft and pulled it toward her mouth.
“Let’s see if I can get more of a reaction out of you than your neighbor did,” she breathed, rubbing the engorged head against her lips.
“Damn it, Doc. You don’t— Fuck!” He shuddered from head to toe
as she flicked her tongue over the tip, taking his warm, salty taste into her mouth. God, she couldn’t get enough of him.
“You’re wrong. I do fuck,” she murmured, deliberately misinterpreting his words. “I fuck you, when you let me. Now take your shirt off. I want to look at you while I have your dick in my mouth.”
“Son of a bitch,” he groaned, ripping the shirt over his head and tossing it on the floor. His legs and hands were shaking, and she felt drunk on the thrill coursing through her veins, pumping through her blood.
Driven with the need to make this something he would never forget, she greedily sucked on his cock like it was her newest, most favorite thing in the entire world, growing addicted to his taste. To how he felt on her tongue and how he stretched her mouth as wide as it would go. The heady scent that filled her nose each time she sucked in a deep, desperate breath. She’d gone down on lovers in the past, but she’d never been all that turned on by it. Not like this. Never felt like she might scream if a guy didn’t let her keep sucking on him, licking him with her tongue.
“You taste so good, Alex.”
“You goddamn little tease,” he growled, his hands fisting in her hair as he thrust himself deeper. “You’re driving me crazy on purpose.”
She smiled, loving that his initial resistance had vanished in the face of his pleasure, and he’d taken over in typical Alex fashion. Not that she was complaining. She loved the feel of his hands on her head, tangled in her hair, controlling her movements. Loved the way he fucked himself into her mouth, setting the pace, careful not to go too deep and gag her, but definitely flirting with her limits.
“That’s it,” he choked out, the tendons in his strong neck pressing against his skin as he flung his head back, his muscular body sheened with sweat. She stared at his abs, mesmerized by the way they rippled beneath his skin as he fucked her mouth like he owned it. “Keep doing that, baby girl, and I’m gonna come all over your tight little throat.”
She moaned, loving it when he talked to her like that, and sucked him harder, letting him know how much she wanted exactly what he’d told her would happen. Her lashes drifted closed as she focused all her concentration on making this good for him, but she could feel the scorching intensity of his gaze focused on her face, on her mouth, as he lowered his head and looked down at her. He made a thick, guttural sound, his hands tightening, and she nearly gagged as his next thrust sent that massive cockhead bumping against the back of her throat.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he gasped, shaking as he quickly retreated.
She let him know it was okay by sucking him even harder, her mouth wet and voracious, refusing to let him pull her off when he snarled that he was going to come. It happened just seconds later, a harsh curse on his lips as he gripped her head, his body rigid as he started pumping his cock over her tongue, the thick, heavy spurts of cum filling her mouth. She swallowed . . . and swallowed, determined to keep up with him, their heavy-lidded gazes locked hard and tight on each other the entire time.
When his grip on her head finally gentled, she pulled back, surprised by how rigid his thick shaft remained. The broad crown was still ruddy and swollen, and she licked her lips as she wrapped her hands around him. “You’re still hard,” she murmured, sounding a little hoarse.
“As long as I have you naked and wet, I’m staying that way.” He got rid of his jeans, then reached down and lifted her into his arms, turning and pressing her against the nearest wall. His mouth covered hers, moving over it in his greed, his tongue sliding against hers in a slow, carnal rhythm that she would never get enough of.
“Put me in,” he growled against her lips, nudging himself against her slick, swollen folds.
She reached between them, wrapping both hands around his rigid length again, but she didn’t notch him against her. Instead, she rubbed the wet tip against her clit, teasing them both. He made another raw, thick sound deep in his chest, and she knew she was playing with fire, which only made her burn hotter. So many times now, he’d asked her if she trusted him, and she did. Which gave her the freedom to play with him in a way she’d never been able to do with a man before, and it felt incredible.
“Stop teasing me and put me in that tight cunt,” he bit out, nipping her shoulder with his teeth. “Now, damn it.”
“Say please,” she whispered, licking his ear.
He drew his head back, locking his narrow, burning gaze on hers, his breaths coming rougher now . . . sharper. “You know what you’re doing, Doc?”
She lowered her lashes, and caught her lower lip in her teeth. “All I’m asking for is one little word, Alex.”
“God, you drive me crazy,” he growled, dropping his forehead against hers.
“You want inside,” she whispered, rolling her hips so that her wet folds rubbed along the underside of his shaft, “then carry me to the bed. I want you underneath me.”
His chest heaved as he lifted his head, his intense stare deep and measuring, and she waited to see what he would decide. Which way he would go. All the while hoping he’d play along.
When he tightened his hands on her ass and started walking backward, toward the bed behind him, she lowered her head, an excited smile on her lips as she nuzzled the silken skin at the side of his strong, corded throat. Kissing her way to his jaw, she ran her lips against the rasp of dark stubble as he tumbled them back onto the sprawling mattress, his long legs hanging over the end.
Eager to feel him filling her, stretching her deep inside, Brit braced herself on her knees, holding his cock upright as she placed the fat head against her wet opening. Then she covered the hands he had curled hard around her hips with her own, and forced her body down, until she’d taken every massive, delicious inch of him.
“That feel good?” she asked breathlessly, tightening her inner muscles as she pulsed her hips against him.
“Hell, yes,” he hissed, using his hold on her hips to lift her up and then slam her back down on him, before trailing one hand up her spine, then gripping the back of her neck. He had her under his complete control as he pulled her over him, until he could take her mouth with a raw, aggressive hunger, and she loved it. Oh, dear God. In that shining, blinding moment, Brit suddenly realized that she loved him.
It was probably the most foolish thing she’d ever done, but somewhere along the way, she’d gone and fallen in love with him. With the dark, brooding, wary Alex Hudson.
And now there was going to be emotional hell to pay.
She knew she might never get the chance to tell him, because it might never be the right time for them, and she had too much pride to put herself out there just to be shut down. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t show him how much this meant to her. That she couldn’t give him every part of her love but the words.
Reaching behind her neck, Brit took his hand, holding it as she sat up, the move pushing him even deeper inside her. He stared up at her glistening eyes with a cautious awareness, as if he’d suddenly sensed the change in her. She lifted his other hand from her hip, then placed both on her heavy, aching breasts. Pressing his hot palms against the full mounds, she started to pulse her hips in a slow, grinding rhythm, and he groaned deep and low as he arched his head back, squeezing his eyes shut. “Jesus, you’re trying to torture me with pleasure tonight, aren’t you? Is this some kind of twisted payback for me acting like a dick today?”
“No. I just . . .” She swallowed against the burning knot of emotion lodged in her throat. “Alex, if you could do anything you wanted to me, what would it be?”
He opened his eyes, giving her a sharp, curious stare. “Seriously?”
She nodded, loving the way she could feel him throbbing inside her as she trailed her hands down his powerful arms, his muscles flexing beneath his hot skin.
“I’d fuck your sweet ass,” he growled, palming a breast in a possessive hold with one hand, while his other reached around her hip and g
ripped her right butt cheek.
“That’s it?” she asked with a smirk.
Snorting, he said, “You make it sound like a walk in the park, Doc.”
She lowered her lashes, and took a quick breath. “I just . . . I was wondering if you’d like to get a bit . . . rougher with me?”
* * *
ALEX FROZE, WATCHING HER CLOSELY FROM BENEATH HIS BROWS, HIS lips parted for the harsh breaths jerking from his chest. “What are you talking about?”
She stilled, but he could still feel her muscular sheath pulsing around him, his damn heart pounding like a bitch as she said, “I know that you’re careful with me.”
“I wasn’t last night.” Hell, he hadn’t exactly been gentle any of the times he’d touched her. Including tonight. Including right now, the way he had her plump nipple trapped between his thumb and forefinger probably more than most women could handle. But he could see how much she liked it. Feel it in the way her slick cunt got even wetter, hotter, clasping him so tightly it damn near had his eyes rolling back in his head.
She pushed her breast harder against his hand, and her red hair shimmered over her shoulders as she tilted her head. “I told you I was fine last night, Alex. I loved the way you were. And even though you don’t think so, you were still careful not to hurt me.” Her slender brows knitted together, while her beautiful eyes burned with determination. “I think you’re always a little worried about pushing me too far. But you don’t have to be. I trust you.”
“To do what?” he heard himself ask, his lust-dazed brain trying to figure out what was going on with her, in her head, while his body just demanded that he get her on her back and fuck the living hell out of her.
She licked her lips. “Whatever you want.” She pulled in a quick breath, her voice a little huskier as she said, “Tie me up. Spank me. Fuck me really hard and let off some steam.”
His lungs heaved, his voice like gravel as he snapped, “Stop. Just stop. You don’t know what the hell you’re asking for, Brit.”
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