She sucked in a deep breath, shaking as she exhaled. “This is so messed up.”
“I can’t make this shit up. It’s my life. It has been full of more abuse than anyone could imagine. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Sexually. Every last bit of it is true.” I turned and gazed at her. “And that is why I’m ruined.”
“I don’t think you’re ruined, Luke. Did she understand after you told her what happened to you?”
“It took a while. She was scared of me, which I don’t blame her for.”
We stared at each other for a few moments, Michelle’s sympathetic expression making me realize my story pulled at her heartstrings.
“Are you ready to leave this place behind for good?”
“Yeah. Let’s go to the basement.”
She turned and wheeled me to the door. As she reached for the light switch, I reached up and flipped it off myself. She patted me on the shoulder.
“Weight lifted?” she whispered.
Honestly, I did feel a little lighter, but I knew shit would get heavier before we were done with this trip down memory lane.
After getting off the elevator, she pushed me to the door I directed her to. I took a deep breath as she opened it and turned on the light. The training room. The heavy bags hung from the ceiling, quiet and still, as if they rested after all the abuse they endured.
That was what I needed.
“I lived to punch and kick these bags. It was the only way I could get out my aggression without getting in trouble. They taught me hand-to-hand combat, and I was bloody good at it. I could take on two of them blindfolded.”
“I suppose that would be considered impressive, if not for the reason you were here.”
“I miss it.”
“This?” She gestured toward the bags. “You miss these?”
I shook my head. “I miss being able to hit a bag.”
“We’re going to get you strong enough to train again.”
“I’d love that. I became best mates with one of the trainers from here. We put our differences aside and worked to keep the people in our community safe.”
She smiled. “I like that.”
“After returning from North Carolina and settling in New York, we opened a gym. I taught all the kickboxing classes.”
“Certified ninja?” she asked with a smirk and a wink.
It felt good to laugh. “Certifiable, yes. Ninja? We will leave that to the professionals. Let’s go. I have one more place I would like to see, then we can go back to my death chamber.”
“I really wish you would stop calling it that.”
I shrugged. “I call it like I see it.”
“Where to next?” she asked, wheeling me out.
“Head toward— What the fuck?!” I yelled. I rested my hand over my heart, hoping to keep it from escaping my chest.
Chapter 36
Tess leaned nonchalantly against the wall, twisting a piece of bubblegum around her finger.
“Well, isn’t this a sight. And drugging Joseph? That was fucking brill. I give you two loads of credit for that one.”
“Tess, please don’t say anything,” Michelle pleaded.
She snorted. “Why shouldn’t I? You’re risking our patient’s safety by wheeling him around, poking into shite you shouldn’t. Trust me, you don’t poke a motherfucking rattlesnake.” With a disgusted look, she gave Michelle a once-over. “And I thought I was working with great intelligence. Obvs, you’re bloody daft, just like the rest of them.” Jamming her gum back into her mouth, she pushed away from the wall and walked off.
“Fuck you, Tess!” I yelled.
She turned and glared at me. “Big words for a man who can’t even walk. Besides, you must have the same brilliance.” She pointed to the camera. “Are you filming your escape?”
“Yeah, because I can just pop out of this chair and make a run for it. Not that it’s any of your concern, but I’m filming this for my mother, wife, and son, just in case you kill me with that fucking anti-serum.”
“So stupid. Both of you.” She swished her arm through the air.
“This is all on me. If you feel the need to rat me out, so be it. I will deal with whatever the consequences are. But don’t you dare place any blame on Michelle.”
Tess shook her head and walked off, both arms straight above her head, flipping us off.
“Class act right there, yeah?” Michelle mumbled.
“Lovebirds…,” Tess muttered, loud enough for us to hear.
“You know what? If you have something to say, grow a pair and say it, you pussy,” I shouted.
Tess spun around, eyes squinting in anger. She stormed right up to me, grabbed the armrests, and leaned in so close, I could see the feathering of her dark purple lipstick on the outer edges of her lips. “Frankly, I’m shocked you haven’t run yet, Liam… Or is it Luke? Or maybe Henry. Who knows? I’m sure it will change tomorrow.”
Anger, pure and true, thundered through my veins. I leaned forward into her face and poked her in the shoulder. “Shut the fuck up, you cunt.”
“Liam?” Michelle asked as I stared Tess down.
“Don’t mind her. She has obviously spent too much time inhaling chemicals in the lab,” I said, not breaking eye contact.
Tess stood straight and rested her hands on her hips. “You want some truth, Michelle?”
“What is going on here?” Michelle asked, her jaw and fists clenched.
Tess stared down at me with a half-smirk, brow cocked.
“Tess, shut up!” I yelled, knowing she was about to expose me.
She shrugged, still staring at me. “Not everything you see is real, Michelle. While in this building, always remember what you think is the truth dangles from a frayed thread.”
“He’s telling me about his past, hence the tour.”
Tess’s gaze flickered back to mine. “Is he now?” She tapped her lips with her forefinger. “Very intriguing. So you know all his aliases? I used to know this twat as Liam.”
“Tess…,” I growled.
“When he went to the States, he started going by his fake middle name. Henry.” She cocked her head from side to side. “Liam. Henry. Daniels.”
I couldn’t listen to Tess for another second. I touched Michelle’s arm. “Let’s go. One more stop before going back.”
Michelle didn’t move, looking between Tess and me. “But why Luke Richards now?”
I glared at Tess for putting me in this situation. “It’s my birth name. Can we just go, please?”
Without hesitation, Michelle pushed me forward, but Tess stepped in front of us. “I won’t allow it.” She raised her hand, pointing behind us. “Go back to the lab.”
I blew out a breath. “Tess, please. I need to see one more place.”
“Why?”
I closed my eyes for a brief moment, then looked at her. “Because I might die. I deserve closure after everything that’s happened to me, which screwed up my head, body, and emotions. This is my time. Don’t fucking take it away from me.”
We glared at each other, neither one of us backing down.
“Step aside, Tess,” Michelle ordered.
Her lips twitched, as if she were formulating a multitude of reasons to keep me from closing this last door.
If I had to, I would summon the strength from my demons to stand and walk past her.
“Fine, but I’m going with you so I know you go back right afterward.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”
She took a step to the left, allowing us to pass, walking next to my wheelchair.
“So… Where are we headed?” Michelle asked.
“Down on the right where the two doors are closest.”
Tess stopped, sucking in a breath. “The punishment room?”
I swallowed. “Yeah.”
We stayed quiet until Michelle stopped in front of the door. She helped me stand and held my arm, steadying me. I shook free from her grip.
“I need t
o do this alone. Please, stay out here.”
“If that’s what you need,” Michelle said. As I opened the door, she grabbed my arm again. “Luke, what if—”
“I’ll yell if I need you.”
I caught Tess’s stare and nodded to her, seeing her take a deep breath.
She had seen me bleeding like a stuck pig many times. While she hadn’t experienced what I had, I was sure her memories of the hellhole I was about to walk into were just as tainted as mine.
Camera in one hand, I turned and grabbed hold of the doorjamb. A shudder wracked my entire body, my bones rattling under my skin. My breath hitched, heart flip-flopped.
Letting go of the jamb, I dropped my head into my hand and whispered, “I can do this. I have to face this.”
My legs wobbled as I stepped over the threshold. I peeled the facemask off and crinkled it in my fist before dropping it to the floor.
When I flicked on the light, I gagged.
Old wounds opened, bleeding for all to see. All the fear, all the pain, all the horrid memories rushed in. I did my best to shut them down, fearing I would be damned forever.
The first thing I focused on sat right in the middle of the room, lit up like the bloody Statue of Liberty—that fucking metal folding chair positioned precisely in front of the two-way glass. A beacon… Not of hope and prospect, but of despair and impossibility.
I tried to take a step forward to confront this demon, this immortal enemy that had plagued me since birth. It was something I needed to do to quiet the monster I had become, but there was no escaping. As if my feet were stuck in concrete, I couldn’t take another step.
I was terrified.
Terrified to face the nightmares, the pain, everything that screamed at a deafening level inside me, but I had to do this. There was no choice in the matter. If I wanted to shut it down, I needed to come full circle with this beast.
It was my time, my life, my future, as bleak as it may be.
I felt the whisper of a touch against my hand.
“Do you need help?”
I turned and faced Michelle. She was the strength I needed. Interlacing her fingers with mine, we walked to the folding chair.
“Tell me about it. What you’re feeling, seeing, remembering. Speaking it aloud will ease the pain.”
My jaw trembled as I tried to swallow. “They strapped me to this chair.” My gaze shifted to the small table where they laid out whatever torture implement they felt like using that day.
The cup full of zip ties, the cutters next to it… I could feel them taut around my wrists and ankles.
“They blindfolded and gagged me. Then they would beat me. Some days were worse than others.”
I walked forward slowly and stood in front of the chair. Turning, I sat, remembering what it felt like to be there. To be physically forced to submit to such horrific punishments.
Goosebumps rose over my skin, bile creeping up my throat. I sure as fuck wanted to run, but I refused to listen to my flight response.
I was a fighter.
I stared into the two-way, just like I used to, turning the camera on myself.
“He used to watch from the other side. Entertainment value, I suppose. Sometimes, he’d force my mother to watch with him.”
“Who?”
“The head of the program…Roger, my father. Once he’d witnessed enough and couldn’t contain his excitement a moment longer, he would come in and have his own thrills, beating me like I was meant to be.”
“Meant to be?” she asked, hand to her chest, obviously astonished I would even say such a thing.
I nodded. “I was born to be his punching bag for everything he thought went wrong in his life. He never loved me. The hatred in his soul, the blackness in the eerie depths of his eyes…” I gazed up at Michelle. “It’s all part of me.”
“Luke, no…,” she whispered, wrapping her hand around my shoulder.
“Knowing he stood behind this glass, I’d stare at him, blindfolded, unfeigned. No matter how much blood I shed or how many fists I took, I refused to turn away because I wanted to show him he couldn’t break me. The power he craved would never affect me…but it did. It just didn’t happen until later in life.”
“How did you escape?”
“There’s no escaping. No end to the constant mutterings in my mind.”
“Then tell me how you physically made it out.”
“He was sent over to infect the States,” Tess said, walking in. Michelle gasped and stepped away from me. “When he refused to finish the job, they sent another in to do it. Gunther Erikkson. He was the one who jabbed the virus into an American.”
I leaned forward and dropped my head in my hand, the camera still focused on me. “Luke died in this room, and I don’t know how to overcome it.” I gazed up at Michelle. “Teach me how to live again. I’ve been dead for so long, I don’t remember what living is like.”
She raised her hand to her mouth, trying to cover up the fact she was crying, but the river of tears gave her away.
“I need to go home, Michelle,” I whispered between harsh breaths. “I need to see my wife and son, my mum and the rest of my friends I consider family. I need them. Please, get me home.”
She knelt in front of me and took my face in her hands, touching our foreheads. “I can’t even imagine being in your shoes. I am so sorry for all of this. I promise, I will do everything in my power to get you home.”
I nodded as she pulled me into an embrace.
Tess wheeled the chair up next to us. She swiped at her cheeks. “Let’s get you back to your room before you become ill.”
Chapter 37
-Gamebridge, New York-
Hoping Cora wouldn’t catch him, Gunther stood on Elaina’s front porch, drumming his fingers on his thighs, waiting for someone to answer. He kept glancing toward his house. “Come on… Come on,” he whispered. “Oh, thank fuck.” He smiled when Anne opened the door and waved him in.
“I’m sorry to come over like this, and I’m kind of in a hurry, but I need to ask you a huge favor.”
“What’s going on?” Anne asked.
“I would like to take Cora on a proper date, like a meal and such.”
“Oh? That sounds lovely. Would you like us to watch your little ones?”
“Yes. I was hoping for lunch today. Are you available?”
She smiled. “Of course, but I’m on the schedule for childcare at Edge from eleven to two. How would you like to go about this?”
“I know this sounds silly, but I kind of want it to be a surprise.”
“Ah…I see,” she said, clasping her hands together. “It’s not silly at all. I will figure out how to get her to go with me. Then you can take her out during your break.”
“Are you sure this is okay? I don’t want to burden you with my kids.”
She laughed. “It’s no burden. Your children are wonderful.”
“Okay. Thank you. I really appreciate this. I’ll make it up to you somehow.”
“No worries. I’ll see you in a bit.”
Gunther stole a glance at his watch. “Shit. I’m late.” As he dashed out the door, he shouted over his shoulder, “Thanks again!”
“You’re very welcome.” Anne laughed and proceeded to shut the door. “What will we ever do about him?”
Gunther instructed his client on the proper positioning in front of the heavy bag. “Turn just a bit, square up,” he murmured, twisting her shoulders a little. “There you are. Okay, now, pop out that fist.”
She did as he instructed. Her fist connected with the bag, making it move. She laughed.
“Well done! Keep at it.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Cora walk into the gym with Callie, Grey, and Everette. He glanced at his watch. “That’s time for today. Feel free to continue working.” The client nodded as he walked away.
“Hey,” Cora said, Gunther leaning toward her to kiss her on the cheek. “Anne brought us. She was on her way in with Nicky and said I needed to ge
t out of the house, so she gave us a lift.”
“That was nice. I’m happy to see you all.” Anne walked in with Nicky, who dragged his feet. “Thanks for bringing them.”
“It was no problem at all.” She winked at Gunther. Lifting Nicky’s hand, which was tight in her grip, she added, “Elaina went out for lunch, hence why I have Mr. Grumpypants with me.”
“Lunch with a friend? Or is she seeing someone?” Gunther asked.
“That’s for her to say, not me.”
He turned and faced Cora, who gazed at him expectantly. He laughed nervously. “Okay… So this was a setup.”
“Shh… Don’t give away our secrets!” Anne said, shoving his arm.
Cora looked between the two of them. “Co-conspirators?”
“Yes. I apologize, but I think you’ll be happy as to why I set this up.”
She cocked her head slightly. “Oh, will I?”
“Yup. I’m taking my beautiful bird out to lunch today. A date…a real date.”
Cora gasped, eyes wide. “Really?”
“Yup. Sound good?”
“Have fun, you two,” Anne said, ushering the kids away.
Not caring where they were, Cora stood on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around his neck and brushing her lips across his.
“Ohh!!! G-Man is getting it on!” one of the staff members yelled, another whistling a catcall, drawing the attention of the entire gym.
He turned. “Don’t you two have clients to train? If not, I can lighten my load.”
“Lighten your load…” They both broke out into hysterical laughter, making Cora laugh, as well.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Keep it up and you all will get a serious arse kicking!”
One spun around and shook his ass. “I’d prefer a spanking.”
Cora snorted, not able to control her laughter as he narrowed his eyes at her. “I’m sorry. It’s just too funny.”
“Is that so?” he asked. She nodded, still laughing. “I’ll give you a spanking you’ll never forget.”
“Is that a threat or a promise?” she asked, biting down on her lip, batting her lashes.
Full Circle (Shattered Lives, Book Five) Page 28