As he turned toward the front window, his jaw dropped open.
“Holy fucking shit,” he whispered, his hands pressed to the sides of his head. A blaring headache was on the horizon. “No, no, no… This can’t be true.” He needed to get a better look to be sure.
As Will walked closer, he reached up and rubbed his nose, remembering when it had been broken at Edge…by Henry Daniels.
“You’re such a fucking moron, Will,” he chastised himself, letting out a strangled breath. “Henry…duh. How many men named Henry Daniels could there possibly be in the same village as Edge?”
Staring at the photo, the happy grins on their faces, his hands trembled and sweat beaded up on the back of his neck as the anxiety kicked in.
He tried to shake it off, but nope. No way. He was almost nose against the glass, eyeballing the portrait of his girlfriend and the guy who went total shitty bonkers on him.
“Christ, is the heat on?” He tugged at the front of his shirt, unsticking it from his body. Quick pit check… Not as fresh as a daisy, but not terrible.
He grabbed a magazine from the table and fanned his face. “Jesus… I’m feeling close to spontaneous combustion…for being so spontaneously fucking stupid.”
Of all the women in the world, why did he have to fall for the widow of the man he acted like a total dick to?
Another sigh spilled from his lips as he jammed his hand through his hair, thinking about how much Elaina talked about Henry. Why didn’t he pick up on it or figure it out?
“Oh god. This is bad.”
Will understood he would have to share her with the love she had for Henry, knowing she may never fully be with him. Admittedly, hearing his name several times while they were together or on the phone made him a little jealous and, unfortunately, annoyed him. A thread of self-consciousness laced through his mind, wondering who she thought about while they made love.
At least, Will considered it making love, but what if it were just a fuck to her? He shook his head, not even wanting to spend another minute on that jacked up mind fuck.
But, wow… Could the world get any smaller?
He wondered if he should say something. Thinking about losing this relationship rattled him. Even if it was still in the early stages, he was invested one hundred and ten percent.
Nope, nope, nope. Not going to say anything, he thought.
He shook out his hands and paced around the room, hoping Elaina didn’t catch him freaking out.
“Water. I need water. Wait… Beer.” He practically sprinted into the kitchen and ripped open the refrigerator door. His gaze darted back and forth, looking for the twelve-ounce bottle of liquid relaxation. “Please, tell me there are beers in this fridge.” He moved a few random things out of the way—mustard, milk, something that looked like it had been in there since 1982. “Oh yes. Come to Poppa.” He reached behind a giant bin of lettuce and pulled out two amber ales.
Pressing the cold glass bottle to his face, Will began to hear voices. Startled, he stood straight, hoping the noise wasn’t in his head. He listened, then realized it was Elaina. Looking around, he spotted the baby monitor in the dining room, her low hum coming through.
The ice-cold bottle of beer still pressed to his face, he padded up to it, leaning, trying to hear every word through some of the background noises the monitor picked up.
He was thankful for the distraction. What he thought was idle chatter turned out to be her reading Nicky one of Will’s favorite children’s books.
It made him smile, but then he felt like a bit of a creeper, infringing on her personal moment with her son.
However, he couldn’t pull himself away, enjoying the peacefulness of a mother caring for her young child.
“All right, monkey butt. Night-night time.”
“Da-da.”
Will frowned, his heart breaking for the boy.
“You want to say a prayer to Daddy? Okay. Hold your hands together. There you go. Ready? Daddy, we love and miss you. Keep watch over all of us and keep us safe. Can you say that?”
“Da-da love.”
“That’s perfect. Kisses for my baby… Goodnight, Nicky.”
Will got a case of the warm fuzzies as he listened to her be so tender and loving.
The stairs creaked. When Elaina appeared around the doorway to the dining room, she smiled. “Spying on me?”
“Uh, no… I was…” He looked down at the two beers in his hands and held them up. “Want a beer?” She gave him a funny look. He tipped his face up, closing his eyes for a moment. “Sorry. That was stupid.”
She laughed. “That’s okay. I don’t think Jeb will mind if you have one or two.”
“Who’s Jeb?”
“Oh, right. Henry’s mother has a boyfriend. When he comes over, he likes to have a beer with dinner.”
“Ahh. Cool. So… Nicky’s all tucked in?”
“For now. My son thinks nighttime is party time. He hasn’t slept a full night since birth. I have no idea how he can survive on such little sleep. Then again, Henry hardly slept, either. He was so good at getting Nicky back to sleep.” She headed into the kitchen, then glanced over her shoulder. “Do you want popcorn? I figured we could watch a movie.”
“Sure. Sounds good.” He followed behind her.
She opened the cabinet, grabbing the air popcorn machine and the jar of kernels. When it whirred to life, he cracked open a beer, placing the other back in the fridge.
He gazed at her as she aimlessly ran her hand around her belly. She was so beautiful, making him realize he couldn’t get any luckier.
Once the popcorn finished, she added butter and salt, then they headed into the family room. “What do you want to watch?” She set the bowl on the trunk and waved at the cabinet the movies were in. “Henry was a big movie buff so we have tons, but we specialize in creepy puppets and whiny cartoons. Oh, and the occasional clown.”
“Got any zombie movies?” he asked with a snort. Elaina’s eyes widened. “Shit… I’m sorry. That was a bad joke.”
“Yeah, a little,” she muttered, staring at him, not believing he would make such an awful joke.
“Shit,” he whispered. “I’m off my game tonight, aren’t I?
“I would have to say a tad, yes.”
“Elaina, I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Yes, you do, you giant jackoff. “From being disappointed about Nicky going to bed the moment I got here, to spying on your intimate moment with him, then the beer… I can leave, if you want.”
She gazed at him for a long moment, making him squirm under her critical eye. “No. I want you here.”
He let out a sigh of relief. “Okay, well, let’s pick out a movie then, shall we?”
They walked to the cabinet and searched the shelves. He steered clear of all the ones she mentioned were Henry’s favorites.
“Hey, how about the boy wizard?” He pulled the Blu-ray from the shelf, holding it in the air.
“That one is Henry’s favorite in the series.”
“Right. Of course,” he muttered, putting it back. Maybe I’m not the one who’s off. “What about the fifth one?”
Elaina smiled and took the movie from his hand, brushing her fingers over his. “Oh, that one is my favorite.”
Will smiled. Thank the stars. “Great.”
Elaina popped the movie in and walked to the couch. They sat together, snuggling up.
Unable to relax, Will’s mind drifted in thirty-two different directions at once. With all the mention of Henry, he felt like a rebound. As the opening credits of the movie began, he stole quick glances at Elaina, hoping to get a read of the situation. Gaze glued to the television, she was engrossed, munching one piece of popcorn at a time.
The next glance, she busted him. “What?”
He faked a smile. “Nothing. Just admiring my beautiful girlfriend.”
“Did you notice the zit on my chin?”
“Hmm…nope.” He shifted a little, still feeling uncomfortable.
Looking at her again, he sighed. “Can we talk about something?”
“Of course.”
“Honestly, I don’t know how to bring this up because it’s such a sensitive situation. Frankly, I’m afraid I’m about to stick my foot in my mouth.”
“Just say it and get it over with.” Elaina popped another piece of popcorn into her mouth.
“Okay…” In a hushed tone, he said, “You talk a lot about him.”
Her brows furrowed. “I’m sorry?”
“Henry. You talk a lot about him when we’re together.”
“I do?”
“Yeah, like picking out the movie. ‘Henry’s favorite.’ ‘Henry loved this one.’ ‘Henry and I watched this one so many times.’”
Eyes widening, she slapped a hand over her mouth. “Oh god. I’m so sorry, Will. I hadn’t realized it.” He gazed off to the side. She twisted to face him, setting the bowl on the trunk. “Will, really, I had no idea. It’s just—”
“Hard. Yeah, I get it,” he muttered. Feeling like the whole night was already a crapshoot, he stood. “I think I’m going to take off.”
“Will…,” she whimpered.
He made it to the doorway of the kitchen before he turned toward her. “It’s just not a good night for us, Elaina. I’d rather just call it a night, then we can start fresh another day.”
“Will, please.”
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow or something.” He turned and strode through the kitchen, heading to the front door.
Shocked, Elaina stood and chased after him. Catching him on the front porch before he hit the first step, she grabbed his arm. “What do you want me to say or do?”
“I don’t know, Elaina. It just sucks that, during a lot of our time together, I have to compete with him for space in your heart and mind. I understand, and I just need to deal with it. As you can see, I’m not doing a very good job right now.”
“I said I hadn’t realized what I was doing and apologized.”
“I know, and I accept.” He let out a long breath, gesturing to the porch. “Would you be more comfortable sitting on the steps?”
“Yeah.”
They settled together on the top.
“Elaina, I’m in love with you. I know it’s still early for some, crazy for others, but this short time with you has been amazing for me.”
She nodded. “I know.”
Making a slight gesture between them, he said, “I know the feelings aren’t mutual yet, but I’m invested in the here and now with you. I want to be with you for however long you will allow me.”
“Will,” she whispered. “Again, I am so sorry.” She covered her face.
“Babe.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Her jagged breath tickled his neck as she tucked her face into his shoulder. “I didn’t mean for it to be like this tonight, but I need some answers before I can go any further. Do you want this? Us? The baby will come sooner rather than later, and I can’t get attached to all of you if you don’t truly want us.”
She pulled away, tears streaming down her cheeks, making his heart thunder in his ears. A fire lit in his throat, the burn traveling to his nose and eyes. The uncertainty of the relationship grated on his emotions, fearing his heart was about to be torn to pieces.
“I want this…and us. I would’ve never suggested you meet my son if that weren’t the case. And I wouldn’t be dating you, making love to you…”
He shut his eyes in relief, knowing she was with him and not Henry while in bed together.
“I’ve enjoyed this time with you. I apologize for saying his name so much. He was a huge part of my life, saving me and others so many times, but I want you to know something.”
“What’s that?”
She brushed her fingers over his, interlacing them. “You’ve helped ease the pain in my heart. You’ve brought life and a smile to my face. I’m falling for you, but please understand it will take me a little longer than the average person.”
“Oh, thank the stars for that because I was past beginning to worry.” He gazed into her eyes. “Now that the air has been cleared, I’m pretty sure we’re going to have the most amazing relationship.”
She smiled, cheeks flushing. “I believe that, too. I promise to be more aware of what I say.”
“Listen, I don’t want you to stop talking about Henry. Your children and you need that. Those memories keep his spirit alive. I know you love him and I have to share you with his memory, but I’m completely okay with that. I just want you to try to start thinking more along the lines of Will and Elaina rather than Henry and Elaina. Does that make sense? Because it’s you and me now, babe.”
“Yes. I promise to work on it. Although, I have to admit, it scares me a little bit.”
“Totally understandable.” They smiled at each other. “Come on. Let’s go watch our movie.” He wiggled his brows. “Maybe even make out a little like two horny teens.”
Elaina barked out a laugh. “That sounds perfect.”
Will helped her to her feet. As they walked to the door, he stopped and took her face in his hands. With a slight tilt of his head, he brushed his lips across hers.
“Your strength amazes me,” he whispered as he pulled away.
“It’s a façade.”
“Regardless, baby steps every day. You’re a powerhouse, babe.”
A soft smile spread across her face. “Thanks.” She took his hand and they headed back inside.
Chapter 40
After tucking the youngest kids in for their afternoon nap, Cora watched from the doorway as Gunther stared out the dining room window facing Elaina’s house. His only day off this week, but he wasn’t relaxed in the slightest.
Deep in thought, it went unnoticed as she coasted up behind him. He put the rocks glass to his lips, taking a sip of the amber liquid.
Placing her hands over his eyes, she stood on her tiptoes and whispered in his ear, “Guess who?”
He breathed out, smiling, and rubbed his bearded jaw. “Hmm… Let me see. Maybe it’s—”
She smacked his arm. “Don’t you dare mess with me, Gunther Erikkson.”
With a laugh, he spun around. “My sassy bird.”
“You love it.”
“You got me on that. I do.” He grabbed Cora’s ass and pulled her close, brushing his lips across hers, mumbling between swipes of her tongue. “Bloody hell, you’re making me hard.”
Slowly, she shifted her hips, ensuring she brushed against him. “I know.” She tapped his lips with her finger. “What were you looking at?”
Gunther gazed over his shoulder. “Her,” he said, pointing with his chin. He sighed and turned around to face the window again. Taking another sip from the glass, he continued to stare at Elaina.
She sat at the bottom of her porch stairs, elbows on her knees, chin cupped in her palms, as if she were waiting for something.
Cora moved beside him and placed her arm around his waist. “Gun, you worry too much. She’s not your responsibility.”
“She is, though. I made him that promise before the ambulance took him away.”
While Cora was a God-fearing woman, she didn’t have the heart to tell him it didn’t matter anymore at that point. He had already laid all the responsibility on himself. The promise was superfluous.
“I wish you wouldn’t worry so. It makes me worry.”
He gazed down at her and smiled. “I’m fine.” He swiped a finger over her cheek.
The sound of a car door closing pulled his attention back to the window. Elaina jumped up from the step and walked across the lawn, meeting…
“Who’s that?” Cora asked.
Gunther squinted and moved closer to the window. “What the fuck?” His grip tightened around the glass as he watched Elaina wrap her arms around a guy. Realization suddenly hit. “You can’t be fucking serious!”
“What?”
“Take this.” He shoved his glass at Cora.
“Gunther, who is it?” she asked, chasing after him.
“I’ll be back in a minute.” He jogged to the front door.
“Gunther… Wait!”
She watched helplessly as he whipped open the door and ran down the porch steps, stalking across the yard.
“Shit, shit, shit,” she said, setting the glass on the table. She stood at the window and watched the situation unfold. Once she saw arms flying and tempers flaring, she ran outside to help defuse the situation.
Gunther stormed right up to Will and glared at him, hands firmly planted on his hips, opening his chest wide. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
Confused, Elaina’s jaw hung wide open. She looked between both men. “Gunther, this is Will Jarvis, my—”
Will’s eyes widened when he realized who the brooding male was. “Oh, shit,” he whispered, running his hands through his hair.
“I know who the fuck he is. What I want to know is why he’s here?”
“So… This is awkward,” Will muttered.
“No fucking shit!” Gunther barked.
Elaina moved to Will’s side. “We’re, uh… We’re dating.”
“Are you fucking serious right now, Elaina?” Gunther raged.
“Whoa… Hold up a sec,” Will said. “Don’t yell at her. If you have a beef with this, take it up with me.”
Cora ran to Gunther’s side and wrapped her hands around his, holding them down. “Hey… Calm down.” He glanced at her, shaking his head.
“I’m allowed to date, Gunther,” Elaina growled.
“I’m not saying you aren’t, but him?!” Pulling from Cora’s grip, Gunther flung his hand out, gesturing at Will in disgust. “Really?
“Oh, fuck you, asshole,” Will said, stepping forward.
“Shit,” Cora whispered, moving in front of Gunther. “Gun, you need to calm down.”
Ignoring Cora’s plea, Gunther pushed forward. “Where did you find this…him? Where the fuck did you find him?”
“Could someone please tell me what’s going on?!” Elaina yelled.
“Henry… He’s the bloke Henry scuffled with at the gym.”
Elaina turned and glared at Will. “Please tell me this isn’t true.”
Full Circle (Shattered Lives, Book Five) Page 30