“Why would you say that in front of him?”
“Because it’s true. I’ve heard the stories of how she used to be. Definitely not the same person I know.”
“It’s cool, Evie.” I glanced at Nick. “What did your mum say when she found out about me?”
“She opened a bottle of wine. Every time I tried to speak, she shushed me. Once she had downed a glass, she was ready to hear what I had to say.”
“Great. She used to get really quiet when she was angry.”
“She’s still like that, but she’s pretty chill otherwise. She doesn’t blow up or anything. One thing she did say was the G-man will be pissed.”
Everette laughed from the back seat. “He’s going to flip…out.”
“Fucking hell… Does he know?”
“Nope.”
“Christ.” I scrubbed my face with my hands and readjusted my hat. “Okay… Let’s go. I need about ten espressos and a box of pastries.”
Chapter 61
We settled at a table outside. I looked over my shoulder at Edge, feeling bloody proud it was still up and running. Nick sat across from me, Everette next to him.
“You visit Edge at all? You look to be in good shape.”
“Oh… I didn’t tell you.”
“You didn’t tell me much.”
“Just protecting me and my family. Anyway, G-man and Mom sold it to Grey, Si, and me.”
“Yeah? That’s awesome. When did they do that?”
“About two years ago. The anny’s coming up, and we’re having a big party. Protein bars, shakes, pre-workout, BCAAs…all that stuff.” He slapped his hands on the table, his face lighting up. “You should come, Pops! I would love it if you did. You could see what we’ve done. I’d like your opinion on our business plan for the next five years.”
“Depends on the date, but we’ll talk about it. It’s still doing well?”
“It’s on fire, Pops. We’re bringing it loud and taking on some amazing things. We have investors, sponsors, and some pro athletes not only training there, but recommending Edge as a high-end training facility.”
“Wow, mate. That’s epic. I’m proud of you.”
Nick smiled, a lopsided one much like his namesake. “Thanks. G-man made it what it is. We’re just riding the wave.”
The waitress approached. “What’s your poison?” she asked in a rather blasé tone.
“Ahh… I’ll take a large vanilla latte, two extra shots,” I said, watching her type the order on a device.
“And you?” she asked Nick, shifting her weight to one hip.
“Large bold and black. And my darling Evie will have…”
“A large skinny mochaccino,” she said.
We sat in awkward silence, all seeming a little nervous about the reunion.
When Nick’s phone chimed, he picked it up, looking at the display. “It’s Mom. We’ll be back.” He took Everette’s hand and they walked inside the coffee shop.
There was no way I could run now, which made me want to throw up. All my nerves sparked, and I could do nothing but fidget and swear under my breath.
After the waitress delivered our drinks, my hands shook so much, I couldn’t even pick mine up. I sighed and rested my elbows on the table. The wait was painful and, fucking hell, sweat dripped from every pore.
“Momma!” Nick said, opening the door, allowing Evie to go through first. Elaina stood outside the front entrance of the coffee shop, peering through the window, Charlotte standing behind her. He gave both of them a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. “You look nervous.”
Elaina let out a loud exhale. “I am.”
“No worries. He’s about to come out of his skin, too.”
“Right… Is he calm or off his rocker?”
“He’s calm, just nervous. Pops is mellow. Hardly raises his voice.”
“Really? Maybe he has changed. So glad you don’t remember our arguments,” she muttered before turning to Charlotte. “You ready?” She shrugged, gaze not lifting from the ground. “I understand this is hard for you and I’m going to make it as easy as possible, but I want you to at least say hello.”
“’Kay,” she said in her usual quiet manner. She rubbed her arms, nervously tugging the sleeves over her hands.
Elaina took her hand as they followed Nick and Evie through the café to the exit for the outdoor seating.
When Elaina stopped suddenly, Charlotte ran into her. “Sorry. I just need to see him before he sees me. I need to get the initial shock of him actually being alive out of my system.”
“He’s right there, Momma.” Nick pointed toward the right corner.
Letting go of Charlotte’s hand, Elaina stood in silence, intense emotions flooding in. She covered her mouth with her hands as she watched the man she had spent nearly half her life grieving over nervously moving about.
He had his mostly gray hair tucked up under a ball cap pulled tight over his eyes. She always hated when he did that because it shadowed his beautiful face. Not to mention the sunglasses hiding his mesmerizing emerald eyes. He wore a black tee, which clung to his larger than she remembered muscular torso, blue jeans, and black shoes. His legs bounced as he rubbed his hands together, steepling them in front of his mouth.
Her heart thundered as old wounds opened, peeling back layers of raw emotions. She thought of the many nights sitting by his side, worrying about his drinking, his illnesses, his life. The horrible time she had dealing with his death.
Even as the years passed, she still peeked out her bedroom window, hoping it was all a nightmare. Just the thought of either of her kids having to deal with similar issues would turn her into a mess. She did her best to hide it from them, keeping it only for Will to see and help her through.
Her body trembled in…fear? No. It was anger, but also…confusion. “Oh god,” she whispered.
“Mom…?” Nick touched her shoulder, making her jump.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s a lot to absorb.”
“I just can’t believe he’s really sitting there.” She glanced up at her son. “I’m angry.”
“It’s okay to be. I was, too. He’s fully expecting you to rage at him.”
Swallowing it all back, she knew she had to be strong for her daughter. She cleared her throat, taking Charlotte’s hand again. “Right. I’m ready.”
They walked through the door…a united front. Henry turned his head and locked gazes with Elaina. He stood from the chair, looking like he wanted to run.
Chapter 62
There she was, the love of my former life, standing tall with my son, his girlfriend, and another girl, who was overly thin. I assumed she was my daughter. I stood, legs quaking, palms sweating, bollocks disappearing. I was losing my shit inside. But I stayed tight, trying to breathe as PJ had taught me.
Deep breaths, I reminded myself when I realized I hadn’t taken one since I laid eyes on the beautiful woman I once called my wife.
When Elaina stopped in front of me, I didn’t know what to do or say. Understandably, she had the same look.
“Hi,” I said with a wave, sounding like a knob. I gestured to hug her and she nodded, which actually surprised me. Off to a good start. She didn’t punch me in the dick or throat yet. “You look beautiful.” Exactly how I remembered her, just a few years older. Still the perfectly curvy, black-haired beauty, her blue eyes telling…ire flaming up in them.
“Thank you. You look good, as well.” She pointed at my right arm. “New tattoos, I see.”
“Yeah.” I glanced down at my arm. “A daily reminder for me. Part of my therapy.”
“Interesting. When you feel up to sharing, I’d like to hear about them.” She gazed up with a teasing smile. “Lots of gray going on there.”
My face heated and I rubbed at my beard. “Yeah… I’m getting old. That’s what happens when you hit the fifties. Watch out,” I teased.
“Don’t remind me how close I am. Thankfully, I have a wonderful hair stylist wh
o keeps up with the roots.”
Elaina held her hand out to the girl on her left. She seemed…off. Her shoulders drooped, leading me to believe this was how she always was. Like she wanted to disconnect not just from the situation, but also from the world. Camouflaged in the background, never sought after, silently flaking away bit by bit until she disappeared.
I felt such an overwhelming sadness, making me want to heal whatever ailed her. Tell her I had been there…been past there. I wanted to take her by the shoulders and shake her to make her understand she was worthy of kind regards. That she would be accepted, no matter what the demons in her mind said. I wanted to stop every cruel comment or disgusted look that had ever plagued her.
She was me, and I her.
All the emotions pushed forward. I turned around for a moment, knowing my action wasn’t what she needed, but I couldn’t let her see me cry. She needed to know I could be strong because, deep down in that tiny body of hers, I knew she could be, too. We just needed to find it, and we would, even if time wasn’t on our side.
I wiped away the tears and turned back around.
Her perfect face angled down, eyes never meeting mine. Her brown, wavy hair, almost looking like a snarled mess, hung like wrinkled curtains in a vain attempt to hide her beauty.
She fidgeted with her sleeves so much, I thought she’d tear them off. The frayed edges of the dingy cuffs mimicked her mental state. When she quickly glanced up at me, I wanted to hug her, take away all the pain I saw in her pale blue eyes. I bet she had the strength of a bull, but feared the power that dimly flickered that, on occasion, didn’t always allow for a good decision.
“This is your daughter, Charlotte. Or, as Nick calls her, Charli.”
“Hullo, beautiful. I’m Luke Richards. I must say, you look remarkably similar to your granny.” When I held out my hand, she stepped back. Strike one for me. Luckily, things had gone much better with Nick. Maybe he could encourage her to open up. “Right, well… Have a seat.”
Elaina looked around and pointed to an open table. “You kids go sit over there. We need to talk privately for a bit.”
“But, Mom…” One look from her and Nick shut his mouth. The unequivocal alpha mom. It made me happy to know he was a good kid who listened to his mother…for the most part.
“Order your sister the tea she likes, along with the chocolate muffin.”
“She’s not even going to eat it. Just pick at it like she always does.”
“Nicholis…”
“Right. Okay,” Nick said, glancing at me. He picked up Evie’s and his drinks, then guided Charlotte away.
“He’s a good big brother,” Elaina said, turning to me. “She loves him to pieces. As of late, he’s the only one who has been able to make her smile.”
We both sat. “I’m not even sure what to say…” I trailed off.
I didn’t know what she expected, but I knew I needed to apologize for even being in her life in the first place. My issue? I could stare at her forever, not speaking a word, and never get tired of it.
There’s that nostalgia flaring up, just like Michelle worried over.
When we were together, Elaina had always been my better half. With certainty, I hadn’t been that for her.
Thankfully, the waitress came back and took her order, breaking the awkward silence.
“Nick said you go by Luke again?” Elaina asked once the waitress walked away.
“Yeah. Look, I have a lot of explaining to do.”
“Fucking right on that,” she muttered.
“Where do you want me to start?”
“How about at the beginning of…Henry’s end.” She sat back in the chair and crossed her legs, waiting with a raised brow. Then she held up her hand. “Wait. I can’t sit here and not let you know how I feel. I’m really working hard not to beat the shit out of you. The anger over this situation is at an all-time high. I’m not even sure I should believe this story of yours.”
“I understand that, and I don’t expect there not to be any anger. During my treatments, I recorded everything on video, but that technology is pretty much gone, so I no longer have it.”
“I just can’t let this slide by. Like ‘Oopsy’ or ‘Meh, that’s just Henry being Henry.’”
“Luke.”
“I was with Henry,” she grumbled. “Your death destroyed me, but I’m just supposed to sit here and let you tell me your story of where you’ve been for the last twenty years?”
“You don’t have to do this. I’ll get back on a plane and fly home today, if that’s what you want. But I would like one chance to explain what happened.”
“My son is adamant about having a relationship with you, but I warn you. Don’t you dare hurt him more than you already have. Now that my daughter has met you, I will put you in the ground if you damage her already fragile state. Somehow, I have to accept this situation.” She slapped her hand on the table. “Now, give me the details.”
“Okay… I hear you, loud and clear.”
Waving her hand at me, her indecisiveness frustrated me. “How could you? How could you do this to me? After everything I did for you. After everything I went through for you.”
“And there she is…,” I whispered.
She jabbed her finger at me. “Fuck you. I have every right to be pissed off. You…” She leaned forward, eyes narrowed. “Who did you kill?”
“What?” I shook my head in confusion.
“The urn, asshole. Who the fuck is in it?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“That’s great. Act like it’s no big fucking deal someone’s family has nothing physical to help them through their grieving process.” I looked away in shame. “Do you know how many nights I cried myself to sleep, clutching what I thought were your ashes?”
“I’m sorry, Elaina.” I wiped the back of my hand across my cheeks. “I hate myself for what I did, but it was what was needed.”
I went into every gory detail about how Erik came and told me of his plan. I paused for a moment, remembering her scream. The one that would always haunt me.
“For weeks, I wanted to turn around and come back. Knowing what I was doing to all of you hurt, but I felt it was my last chance. I had to do it before something worse happened.
“When I got to the facility, they ran a bunch of tests. It was good I went. I found out…” I stopped and looked over my shoulder at my kids. “Do all of them know about what happened?”
“Yes. They know every detail. We had a family meeting one night about ten years ago after Evie caught Gunther doing a draw from Cora.”
“Oh, wow. I’m surprised they could hide it that long with all the kids.”
“It proved to be a difficult time for all of us, but the kids banded together and supported our decision to keep it on the down low. Poor Gunther had an anxiety attack, thinking they would hate him and he would have to leave.”
“Wow…”
“It was bad. Cora worried about his state and made him take a couple weeks off from work just to settle himself.”
“I absolutely understand where he’s coming from. I’m glad to hear he’s doing good.”
“As good as can be. After we had the meeting, we explained to Nick and Charlotte about you and how you committed suicide. I regret that decision. Her issues began at that moment. Because I had lied to her for years, she now has a lot of trust issues.”
I hung my head for a moment, feeling my throat constrict once again. I caused my daughter’s downward spiral. Even more sadness trickled in, making tears well again.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, wiping my cheeks once more.
“Before I completely lose you to your emotions, let’s get back to the tests.”
I gazed up at her. “I’m not that man anymore. I’m able to control my emotions and not dive into the deep end at the snap of a finger.”
“But the tears…”
For a moment, I stared at her angrily for her inability to see that I had changed. �
��Are for my daughter, who has been made mentally ill with my bloodline’s bullshit.”
Nodding, she swallowed hard. “Continue.”
I sucked in a deep breath and let out a shaky exhale, then continued my unbelievable, albeit true story.
“I didn’t get the same injection as everyone else. The one they injected into me was a more potent, untested batch, making Erik realize a lot of my issues could’ve been exacerbated or even caused by the virus.”
“Like your OCD, paranoia, alcoholism, et cetera?”
“Yeah. Well, I’m still a little OCD when I put too much pressure on myself, but I haven’t touched alcohol in years. Erik mentioned Roger had a drinking problem. Luckily, I’m cursed with an addictive personality.” I smirked. “Interestingly enough, I found out Roger wasn’t his real name. Erik allowed me access to his files and journals. Definitely eye-opening.” I shook my head. “Let’s just say he was running from the law…wanted for matricide.”
“Jesus.”
The waitress came back with Elaina’s coffee. I felt like we should be sharing a slice of cake, but that would only be a beautiful memory now. She stared at me over the steaming cup, waiting for more.
“Enough about him. After an MRI of my brain, they discovered I was nearly completely infected, regardless of the…” I lowered my voice, “fresh blood. They needed to treat me more aggressively than they initially realized. They weren’t sure how much time I had left, certain it was only days.” I gazed into her eyes, trying to get a read on how my words affected her. “I was dying, so it was good I went. And now…I’m cured. No voices, no extreme fluctuations in emotions. I’m a different man now.”
“Why did they pick you and not someone else? What was so special about you?”
That hurt a bit. “While Erik worked on a cure, he looked through the files, discovering I was Roger’s son. He wanted to right the wrongs done to me. He knew those head-fucks treated me worse than the others.”
She leaned forward and tapped her fingertip on the table. “You should’ve said something. I could’ve been there for you, helped you through the process.”
Full Circle (Shattered Lives, Book Five) Page 42