by Nicole Helm
“Take what as a compliment?”
She reached over and grabbed her inhaler off her nightstand, shaking it, then drawing in a breath.
He grinned, but she saw that flicker of something else before he did. Worry. And that was all she needed to know she was making the right decision here. He might pretend her scar didn’t exist, he might pretend this didn’t bother him, but it did. And it would build and build until...
Well, she wasn’t going to let that happen.
“I guess we should go a little slower next time.” He said it like a joke, but it wasn’t. Not even a little.
“I haven’t had an asthma attack that sent me to the hospital since I was a kid. I grew up and out of the severity. The inhaler just helps me breathe a little easier when things get tight.”
He plastered one of those blank smiles on his face. The kind of smile that didn’t fool her, even when she wanted it to.
“I need coffee.” She stepped out of bed, pulling on the pajamas they’d discarded after the second bout of pantlessness last night.
“I’m going to run through the shower. I should try to beat Grace and Kyle back to Mom and Dad’s.”
Leah nodded, pulling on her socks, then stepping out in the hall. She could still hear Dad snoring, but the light in the living room was on and she could smell food and coffee. Well, there was one nice thing about having Mom around after all.
She stepped into the kitchen. Mom was standing in front of the coffeemaker, already done up for the day. Bright red Christmas sweater. Green elastic-waist pants.
Tears stung Leah’s eyes unexpectedly. She’d forgotten Mom’s ridiculous Christmas-outfit tradition. She’d forgotten a lot of things, really, in the past ten years.
Sniffly, and maybe a little relaxed from all the ill-advised sex last night, she went over to Mom and gave her a hug from behind. “I’m glad you’re here.” Ridiculous assumptions, insinuations and straight-out wrongness all seemed to fade away.
This was what she’d wanted. This was what she’d been working for. Getting back family. Because no family was perfect or right all the time, but they had traditions and moments when things were right.
“Merry Christmas, sweetie,” Mom said, patting her arm. “I’m glad I’m here, too.” She turned her head and smiled up at Leah. “Christmas hasn’t been the same without you.” Mom’s eyes got a little watery, but she waved her hand in front of her face. “Well, none of that. I’m making a big old breakfast. Sit down and I’ll tell you my trick to making the perfect bacon.”
Leah didn’t even mind being admonished to sit down. “Where’s Marc?”
“Oh, he went on a run. A run. Can you believe him? It’s snowing and icy and he won’t listen to any of my warnings. Oh, I’ll just never understand him.”
“And Dad’s still sleeping.”
“Snoring like a log. That man.” Mom tsked, pulling an armful of items out of the fridge.
“Now, the first trick to perfect bacon, even turkey bacon, is rinsing each piece individually. It’s a pain in the tookus, but so worth it. Your father has not complained about my bacon in thirty-three years of marriage.”
Leah smiled. No marriage talk was going to pop a hole in her happy Christmas spirit. Tomorrow? Maybe. Today, she was determined to be Ms. Cheerful no matter what.
Jacob stepped into the kitchen, hair still damp. He had on a chunky red sweater over some ridiculous green plaid shirt. Like a damn Christmas poster. He was so cute it hurt.
Mom’s smile broadened. “Oh, Jacob. I thought you spent last night with your family.”
“I was going to, but I couldn’t stay away.” He grinned at Leah, and like an idiot, she grinned back. Sure, this wasn’t a thing, but having sex three times in the past twenty-four hours earned her a grin, right?
“But I do have to go. Brunch with my family. You guys have a merry Christmas and maybe I’ll see you tonight if you’re up when I get back.”
“Oh, well, at least take some coffee.” Mom gestured to Leah, so Leah found a travel mug and handed it to Mom. She poured, then handed it off to Jacob. Naturally, then she also pinched his cheek and pulled it down for a smacking kiss.
Jacob chuckled. “Merry Christmas, Mrs. Santino.” Of course, he wasn’t looking at her mother when he said it; he was looking at her. All...smirky and evil, because she was definitely invaded by dirty thoughts.
Jerk.
Then he leaned down and kissed her on the mouth. Just a quick peck, but still. She was getting sunk fast. Thank God for Christmas and separation.
“Merry Christmas, baby,” he said quietly and then also kissed her on the cheek.
Oh, jerk, jerk, jerk, because she was smiling and blushing like a moron, and he’d done it on purpose.
Jacob disappeared and it took Leah a minute to realize she was all but mooning after him. Oh, ugh, she really needed to get that B.S. under control and fast.
“You two made up,” Mom said, clutching a spatula to her chest.
“We weren’t fighting.”
“You were...tense yesterday. Today you’re happy.” Mom squeezed her shoulders. “Has he given you your Christmas present yet?”
“Uh, no.” She hadn’t thought about that. They’d done a secret Santa at work, but neither of them had had each other in the drawing. Crap. Maybe she could find something in her room to pretend to be a gift.
“Maybe it’s an engagement ring.”
Well, there went any and all good feelings. Thank you, Mom.
* * *
JACOB WAS WHISTLING when he walked up to his parents’ house. Amazing what a little sex could do, even when it would probably end up causing more problems than it solved.
But for today, for Christmas, he was just going to enjoy the fact he’d had sex for the first time in months, with a woman who...well, a woman he didn’t have a clue what to do about.
He’d figure it out. There was a first time for everything, but he always figured things out in the end.
He stepped inside. “Winter isn’t kidding around this morning,” he called.
“Come into the kitchen. Nice and toasty,” Mom returned.
Jacob shed his winter gear and walked through the home of his youth. Not much had changed. He admired that about his parents, the way they kept things. It was who they were, this place, their steadfast dedication to their family, their town, the school they both worked at. The students Mom had counseled still sent her emails; some of Dad’s former baseball players sent Christmas cards. They had made their mark, and as small as this town was, the mark was important.
He very much admired that about them, tried to emulate it in his own life.
Why that made him think about Leah and her no-marriage, no-kids outlook, he wasn’t sure. But it was there, curling up in his brain, eating away at any enjoyment.
Well, screw that. It was Christmas, and he’d made Leah smile and blush this morning. Oh, and there was that little thing of also giving her an orgasm. It was a great damn morning and no bad thoughts allowed.
He stepped into the kitchen and frowned. Mom was standing by the stove, but she was kind of leaning against Dad. Dad had his arm around her and looked worried—that was, until he saw Jacob and smoothed the worry into a smile.
“Merry Christmas, son.”
“Merry Christmas. Everything okay?”
Mom smiled at him. “Oh, still feeling a bit puny is all, and Dad’s being a worrywart.”
“Not worry-warting if it’s warranted.”
Mom waved a dismissive hand. “I’m fine. Really. The flu is hitting people hard this year, and I’m no exception even with that stupid shot. And it is a drag to be sick over the holidays.”
“Maybe you should go back to the doctor.”
“If it’s still bothering me Monday, I will.” She patted
his cheek. “My sweet boy. Don’t go worrying about me.”
“I’ll worry about who I want.” He kissed her cheek. It felt a little cool, which he wasn’t sure was good or bad or in-between. “Here, you let me finish up. I can’t make too much of a mess of things at this point.”
He nudged her out of the way.
“Oh, you know you could probably do a better job than me. All those classes you took.”
Jacob ignored the way the niggle of worry deepened. He’d taken those classes when he was pretending not to know Mom was going through chemo. Home ec and some stupid cooking thing at the Y. Trying to help, pretending as though he wasn’t, as though he was into it.
He glanced back at Mom as he pushed the hash browns around in the pan. She looked a little pale, but otherwise fine. She wasn’t gaunt or gray like she’d been then.
Overworrying. The flu could be nasty. He’d just keep an eye on her and make sure she did go to the doctor next week if she didn’t feel better.
Plan in place, he went back to finishing the brunch Mom had started.
Kyle and Grace didn’t show up until he was nearly finished, Grace’s laughter announcing their arrival before they shuffled into the kitchen, rosy cheeked and grinning.
“Sorry we’re late.”
Mom waved away the apology. “Jacob’s just finishing up brunch for me. Have a seat. We don’t have to be at Aunt Winnie’s until three.”
“Um, actually we have some news first.” Grace grinned back at Kyle, who looked both happy and incredibly uncomfortable, which, really, was pretty normal for Kyle since he and Grace had worked things out.
“So, we got engaged.”
“Gracie!” Mom was out of her seat in a flash, ridding Jacob of any last worry about her health. They hugged and laughed and Jacob had to force himself to pry his hands off the spatula, smile, find some kind of...joy.
It caught him a little off guard. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe he thought Kyle might ask him first or tell him beforehand, or maybe he thought he’d see it coming, but he...hadn’t. They’d been together for months, were moving into their own house. It shouldn’t be a surprise, but somehow, wrapped up in his own life, it was a big old shock.
And he would chalk up the weird feeling in his stomach to that over jealousy. Just a little gut-squelching surprise.
When Grace finally escaped Mom’s grasp, which landed on poor Kyle, Grace turned to Jacob.
It wasn’t hard to muster the smile at this point. She looked so happy, and that was what he wanted for her. Happiness and excitement. She’d had enough of the other crap.
“Hey, now, that is a rock.” He took Grace’s hand and squeezed.
“It is at that.”
He pulled her into a hard hug. “I love you. You know that. And I’m happy for you. Always.” Which was the truth. His cheer might be a little off-kilter, but his sister deserved this happiness. His best friend deserved this happiness.
She sniffed into his shoulder. “I know.”
He released Grace so she could sniffle over Dad and offered his hand to Kyle as he was released from Mom’s clutches. “And a brother.” He shook Kyle’s hand, then, what the hell, pulled him in for a one-pat man hug. “I couldn’t ask for a better one. Really.”
“Very much likewise.”
Mom and Grace were both teary and sniffling, and even Dad looked a little shiny eyed and had to cough to clear his throat once or twice.
“Well, now. That’s quite a Christmas gift, young man,” Dad said. “Did I ever tell you about the time—”
“No!” Jacob and Grace groaned in unison.
“Dad, no pig story. Please.” Grace leaned into Kyle and Dad laughed.
It was a good moment, and Jacob wanted to bask in that goodness. This light of a future for two of the people he cared so deeply for. And he was happy, but he couldn’t squelch the weird not-happy part of him.
“Well, where’s the champagne?” he said, clapping his hands together. “Let’s celebrate properly.” Maybe if they got over being weepy and hit the happy part, he wouldn’t feel so much like his chest was caving in or that the only thing he really wanted to do was go back to Leah’s and bury himself in her.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
LEAH SAT CONTENTEDLY on the couch, wrapping paper strewn about, piles of unwrapped presents next to everyone in her immediate family. The lights on the small, leaning tree that had given her a weird rash the day she’d brought it home twinkled in the low light of the room. The smell of the veal scallopini they had eaten hung in the air, spicy and familiar and comforting.
Even if the visit wasn’t shaping up exactly as she’d wanted, Christmas with her family was everything she’d been dreaming about. It was like years past, except for the two she remembered having to spend in the hospital.
But this was a good day, a good evening, hospital free and all the comforts of family tradition. She’d swallow down the rest for this because this made all the crap worth it.
And that wasn’t just the glass of wine she’d had at dinner. It was that Mom hadn’t tsked her over it. Hadn’t kept an eagle eye on how many bites Leah had ingested. Maybe...maybe there was common ground to be found, if they could just figure out the man thing.
Which had somehow morphed into the Jacob thing.
Leah sighed. Not tonight. She wasn’t thinking about that tonight. Or if he’d come to spend the night again. If they’d find a way to use more condoms again. Nope, nope, nope. Not going to think about it. Or hope for it.
“So, time for dessert?”
“Actually, we have one little present left,” Mom said, grinning broadly.
Leah looked around her pile, but she didn’t see anything unwrapped, and Dad and Marc didn’t seem to, either, but Mom only chuckled.
“No, no, not that kind of present. More of a news present. Something that’s going to happen.” Mom looked at Marc and nodded at him.
He looked incredibly uncomfortable and took a deep breath, looking as if he was on death row or something. The complete opposite of Mom’s eager expression.
Then he forced an awkward, tight smile. “I might be moving to Iowa.”
The words didn’t quite...process or make sense, even as a hard weight settled itself in her gut. “Iowa?”
He nodded, not meeting her gaze.
“Like, here, Iowa?”
He shrugged, picking up scraps of wrapping paper and folding them precisely. “Possibly. I’ve applied at a few places in the general area. If I get on with State I’d have to go to basic, so it wouldn’t be right away or anything.”
“And the best part,” Mom said, all but bouncing in her chair. “We’re going to try to join him in a year or two.”
The weight in her gut did a jump, thudding harder against her insides. “What?”
“Well, we considered asking you to move home,” Mom began, looking at Dad. “But we know you wouldn’t be able to find a job like you have here, and there’s Jacob, of course. Then we considered the ties we have in Minnesota, and aside from my sister and Uncle Roy...well, there’s just not much keeping us there. So we started saving and getting the house ready to sell. We have a ways to go yet, but optimistically in two Christmases we could live here, too.”
Leah couldn’t breathe. Or she’d floated out of her body. “What?” She didn’t know what else to say because this didn’t make sense. None at all.
“We should be together. Now that we’ve made strides to mend fences between us, it’s time we lived in the same place.” Mom’s eyes had tears in them. Happy tears.
Leah looked at Dad, who was excited and smiling just like Mom, and then at Marc staring way too hard at his scraps of wrapping paper.
“I don’t understand.” This...wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be happening. Not...really.
“Wh
at don’t you understand, sweetie?”
“You don’t...” She took a deep breath, tried not to let her panic show. “You don’t need to uproot your lives for us to be a family. There’s phone calls and visits and—”
“Nonsense. Like I said, nothing is keeping us in Minnesota except the house and money and a few not-close relatives. We tie up our loose ends, and then we can all be together. For all the holidays. And if things happen with you and Jacob, we’ll be here. Unless things move faster between you two, which would be fine by me.”
“I don’t know what to say.” And she didn’t. Not good or bad—there were no words in her head. Well, except Noooooooooooooo!
“You and your brother clean up and he can tell you a little more about the places he’s applied to. I’m going to get dessert started.”
Mom and Dad got up and disappeared into the kitchen. Leah watched them go, flabbergasted. Then she turned to Marc. He was picking up wrapping paper, crumpling it all into careful balls.
“Why are you doing this?” she whispered.
“What?”
“Why the hell would you ever move here?” She crouched next to him, picking up a piece of paper and balling it to give her hands something to do.
He shrugged.
“No, I need an answer.” Desperately. Why was Marc agreeing to this...this...lunacy?
“Maybe I needed a change.”
“Why?”
Marc glanced at the kitchen, then at the front of the house. “Let’s take this out to the garbage can in your garage.”
She nodded, scooping up an armful of discarded wrapping paper and following him.
In silence they each deposited their trash, stepped back inside and then discreetly Marc pulled the mudroom door closed so they could be inside without Mom or Dad hearing.
“I know this probably isn’t what you wanted,” he said, hands shoved in his pockets, eyes locked on the wall behind her. “I know they can be a bit much, but you have to understand how much this means to them.”
Leah swallowed. “It’s crazy. Parents don’t go following their kids around. They don’t uproot their lives and move to them.”