by Vivian Ward
“How’d ya like it?” the man asked me as I walked back into the living room.
“I don’t know. I was starting to wonder if there were skeletons buried under the concrete slab,” I half-joked with him.
The truth was, it did give me the creeps.
“Just a few, but we like to keep ‘em a secret,” he winked. “Well,” he sighed. “The rent’s due on the first of the month, and if you’d like, you can move in right away,” he tested the waters, seeing if we’d jump.
“Can I talk to you in private?” I asked Gage.
He followed me outside where we examined the house while we whispered.
“Was this one better?” he asked.
“Not by much. I mean, yes, the paint and carpet were nicer, but I don’t know if it’s right for us.”
“Could you live here? For a year? It’s not permanent.”
“I-I don’t know. I think that—”
“Look, this isn’t where we’re gonna live forever. When we buy a house, I want it to be a nice house, but I think this will do. I think we should take it; it’s getting late, and I can call and cancel the other showing. Besides, the next one is an apartment, and we won’t have as much privacy when it comes to me making you scream and beg every damned night that we’re in bed.”
The landlord walked outside before I could reply. “I have a doctor’s appointment, so if you don’t mind, I’ll be heading out. I’ve locked the place up, but if you want to take a second look, I can meet up with you later this evening or tomorrow.”
Gage didn’t break his stare from me as he replied.
“No, it’s fine. I’ll get my checkbook out of the jeep and pay you right now.”
Folding my arms across my chest, I pursed my lips and shook my head before I picked Bentley up and started strapping him into his baby seat. From inside the car, I watched Gage write the man a check and hand it over to him before he tossed him the keys to the house.
Two days later we were moving into the house. I figured that I would have at least a whole week of being home with my parents, but the way Gage came in like a whirlwind and broke down the baby crib and my bedroom set, it didn’t take nearly that long.
He and Henry were carrying things out to the moving truck faster than I could pack them, and he refused to stop for a break; not even for lunch.
My mom played with Bentley and took care of him for the most part while we were busy packing and moving. I could see the sadness in her eyes that we were leaving, but Gage wasn’t giving me much of a choice. All I could do was put on my happy face and pretend that everything was all right.
“You know we’ll see you all the time,” I reassured her as she bounced Bentley on his knee. “I still have to come into work, and he’ll still need to see his Mama and Papa.”
Bentley’s eyes were fluttering closed as he struggled to stay awake. It had been an eventful day for him, too.
“I know,” my mom said, trying to sound strong and positive.
It was her way; she’d never show any sign of weakness, but I could tell it was crushing her.
“You know, mom,” I started. “You could keep Bentley for the night while we get settled into the new place.”
Gage cleared his throat behind me as he sipped on a glass of water. Unsure as to how long he’d been there, I froze in place even though my mom’s face was lit up like a Christmas tree.
“I’d sure love if I could do that,” an ear-to-ear grin spread across her face.
I looked up at Gage with pleading eyes; he must have read my mind.
“What about the woods? The whole reason it’s not safe to stay here?”
My dad walked in, coming home for lunch, and overheard the conversation.
“I’ll sleep with my revolver right by my side. If I hear so much as a creak in the floor, I’ll wake right up,” he said.
I nodded.
“Yeah, he’s a very light sleeper. He wakes up even if the wind blows too hard.”
Gage’s jaw tensed as he sucked in a deep breath of air.
“Fine. One night and then he’s in our place,” he refilled his glass of water. “That should be plenty of time to get his room set up.”
Henry came back in and announced that he’d finished clearing out the rest of my room and needed help with my dresser. After the two of them had left the room, my dad leaned in close to me and motioned for me to lean in with him.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” he whispered. “Because if he’s forcing you to go, I’ll—”
“No dad,” I shook my head and waved my hand. “I can handle things.”
Lord knows I didn’t want his blood pressure to get too high again. The doctor said his risk for a heart attack had more than doubled since his lab work showed his blood pressure had skyrocketed.
“You’re my baby, and if he’s making you do things that you don’t want to do, I won’t stand for it. You and Bentley come first, and always will.”
“Really. It’s fine.”
I didn’t want to upset him anymore and was done talking about it.
“You know,” he looked around, making sure Gage wasn’t within earshot. “He tried to talk your mother and me into leaving the house and land too, but we wouldn’t do it. I’ve spent my whole life building up this place, making it a success so that I have something to hand down to you. I’m not about to walk out on it, and I don’t think you should either.”
“Dad, have you ever thought that maybe he’s right? Maybe getting out of here is the best thing? With everything out in those woods, I’m scared. It’s too dangerous to stay here. Listening to him might be the only thing that keeps us alive.”
I could tell that he wasn’t buying it, but it was the truth; even if it was only a half-truth.
“I’ve got to think about Bentley and what’s best for him. If someone were to come in here threatening us, he’d be completely vulnerable if they grabbed him. If someone came at you or me, we could run away or shoot at them. Bentley would be a sitting duck in his crib.”
He studied my face and realized that I had a point.
“And I’m thinking about cutting back on my hours, too.”
The look of shock and pain on his face was more than I could handle. His eyes had so much hurt behind them that I couldn’t bare to look at him any longer. I did the only thing I could do and started backpedaling as fast as I could.
“Unless you need me. I mean, if business—”
He waved on with his hand and shook his head with tears forming in the corners of his sad eyes.
“Don’t try to patronize me. I know that’s not what you want to do.” He had shaken his head before he blew out a breath of air, “Heh,” he slapped the opposite knee that Bentley was sitting on. “You’re just like your mother. Hard-headed, but you know exactly what you want.”
I should have known that he’d see right through me. He’s always been able to; he learned how to see through mom and according to him, I was the spitting image of her in both looks and personality.
“You know I’ll always be your little girl dad, but I’ve got to think about Bentley and his mother—me. If I put him in harm’s way, I could never live with myself, and if anything ever happened to me because of my stupidity, I’d hate myself forever for leaving him without a mom. When things get back to normal around here, we can get back to normal too.”
Leaning down, I hugged him the hardest I’d probably hugged him since I was a tiny girl and it felt good.
Suddenly, we heard the moving truck backfire as it snorted to life and Gage popped his head in the kitchen doorway.
“You ready? We won’t have much more sunlight, and Henry needs to get back to the hotel to do some stuff for Mr. Sanders.”
I wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t asking me anything; he was politely demanding it. Probably because my dad was in front of him.
“Yeah,” I answered him before I looked at my dad and Bentley.
“Mommy loves you, baby,” I kissed Bentley on top of his
head. “I’ll see you tomorrow, mom and dad. I love you.”
“Love you too, darlin’.”
With Gage’s jeep packed to the brim, we followed the small moving truck that Henry was driving to the house that would be our new home.
When we pulled up to the house, I started to help unload the truck, but Gage refused to let me help.
“Uh-huh. Your job is all of the unpacking. I won’t have time to help you do that because I’ve got work to do, so you’ll be on your own. With your parents keeping the kid, you might as well make the best of your time until he comes home tomorrow.”
“Gage, I can help unload some of this stuff. I’m not an invalid, you know?”
“I mean it. You start getting this place set up and let us men do the rest of the work. If you want something moved to a certain spot, let us know, and we’ll move it for you.”
With that being said, I helped grab a few boxes out of the jeep and carried them inside and sat them on the kitchen counter while they guys started carrying the baby furniture into Bentley’s room.
Figuring that room was the most important, I started in there because as tired as I was going to be, I’d be able to sleep almost anywhere, but Bentley would know the difference.
As they were carrying the last of the boxes off of the truck, I stopped him and pulled him to the side.
“You know what we don’t have?”
His eyes scanned mine, searching for an answer.
“What?”
“Toilet paper. Toilet paper, food, and dishes. We can’t use the bathroom or eat.”
He looked around the house and realized he never carried any boxes into the kitchen, just Bentley’s highchair.
“Shit,” he ran his hand through his hair, frustrated. “Okay. Tell you what, for the night; we’ll run to the store and grab some shit tickets and we’ll hit a drive-thru for dinner. Tomorrow, we’ll buy some real damned food and get some proper dishes.”
“Shit tickets?” I asked, utterly confused.
“Yeah, shit tickets,” he studied my face. “Toilet paper? You know, shit tickets?”
“What the hell?” I laughed.
Honestly, it was the first and only thing that he’d said since I’d ran into him that made me even remotely smile.
“Yeah. You know? You can’t take a shit without ‘em; they’re kind of like movie tickets. You can’t get into the movies without a ticket, and you can’t shit without toilet paper, so they’re shit tickets,” he tried to explain.
“Yeah, okay.”
He rolled his eyes. “It’s just a little humor, lighten up. It’s not gonna be so bad, babe,” he stepped in closer to me, invading my personal space. “Me, you, and the kid?” He slid his arms around me, resting his hands on the kitchen counter. All I could concentrate on were how huge his muscles were and how fucking amazing he smelled, even after moving for an entire day. “We’re gonna be a good little family.”
He was playing a dangerous game of chicken with me, but before I could reply, Henry walked into the kitchen. As awkward as things were around him, I was glad he was there.
Whew! Saved by the friend.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt, but if you guys are good here, I’m going to head back to the hotel to catch up on any leads that might give us any details on Mask.”
Gage stood tall, obstructing me from Henry’s view as his massive body acted like a total eclipse protecting me from any wandering eyes that he might still have for me.
“We’re good. I’m going to crash here tonight, and I’ll meet up with you in the morning. If you find anything important, give me a call—I don’t care what time it is.”
I heard the door click shut and that’s when the reality sat in.
We were all alone. In this empty house. Aside from unpacking, what the hell else were we supposed to do? We couldn’t just unpack all night.
I sure as hell hope that he doesn’t plan on consummating our new little family or christening this house.
Thankfully, my dad let us take the old sofa that we had moved into the front family room when we replaced all the living room furniture a couple of years ago because I sure as hell wasn’t sleeping with him.
The look in his eyes said that he was hungry—hungry for panties and pussy, neither of which I was offering up.
“Let’s finish getting as much done tonight as we can,” I started toward the bedrooms. “I’m sure we’ve still got plenty to do, and if you’re not going to be around tomorrow, I’d like a little help from you tonight.”
“Okay,” he said.
I couldn’t believe he went down without a fight.
“I put his crib together earlier, and I can do his dresser tomorrow. That’s just putting all the drawers on their tracks and sliding them back in before I put his clothes away. Think you can help me do my bed? The box spring and mattress are a little big for me to handle,” I added, not wanting to give him the wrong impression.
“Here, let me,” he took the bed rails from me and started setting them up. “I heard what you said to your old man. Did you mean it?” he looked up at me, waiting for an answer.
Shit. Which part did he hear?
“What do you mean?”
“About cutting back your hours. You really gonna do that?”
All I could do was watch his muscles flex and pop out as he worked on putting the bed together.
Sweet baby Jesus!
My body’s primal instincts kicked in, and I felt a tingling down below, and suddenly remembered why I had slept with him. I didn’t take my eyes off of him until he stopped turning the wrench and looked up at me when I didn’t immediately answer him.
“Um,” I swallowed. “Yeah. Unless you need me to work, I can work more. It’s just that I don’t feel safe with—”
“No, it’s fine; I’d rather have you here at home taking care of him than having your mom raise my boy, but we’ve got to do something about his name—and yours too.”
“What?”
I almost couldn’t believe what he’d said.
“You heard me. He’s a Miller, and his name should reflect that,” he started turning the wrench again. “And yours too. We’ll fix it all once everything is settled down.”
“Nobody said that I wanted to marry you, and we can discuss changing his name but I think I need some time for that.”
He hurried to his feet and stood an inch away from me.
“Time? You need some time? Time is what’s kept me away from my flesh and blood, Anita!” he snapped.
He was right. I’d kept them apart for nearly fifteen months, and I could see all the hurt in his eyes, just like my dad had earlier before I left the house.
If only he hadn’t walked away like he did. If he had waited another two weeks to leave, he would have found out right along with me that I was pregnant. He was the first person I wanted to tell, the first person I wanted to comfort me but he was gone.
If only he wouldn’t have come back, and only if we hadn't found all that stuff on our property, he still wouldn’t know. If only I hadn’t kissed Henry, he would have never come in and discovered the secret I’d been keeping from him.
I was the shittiest person on earth. Who keeps a son away from his father? The hot tears stung my eyes as they threatened to spill down my cheeks.
I couldn’t imagine my mother keeping me from my father.
I could feel the heat building in my cheeks as the knot in my throat got tighter.
“Hey,” he put his hand on my face. “You all right, babe?”
He wiped away a tear that had fallen from my eye. “I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. It’s just that,” he threw his arms up behind his head in frustration. “I’ve got so much damned time to make up with him that I don’t even know where to start.”
He looked like he might cry too. My heart dropped to my feet.
“Damn it, Anita. I missed his first steps, his first tooth, his first words. Does he even know how to say dad?”
T
he pain in his eyes was killing me, but I felt worse as I slowly shook my head no.
“Fuck it. It doesn’t matter. I’ll teach the boy everything he needs to know.”
After a long, awkward silence, he finally broke it.
“You hungry? We could go get dinner, and you can fill me in on all the stuff my kid likes.”
“Yeah, let’s do that,” I said, honestly eager to tell him all about our son.
He drove us to a little greasy spoon restaurant near the edge of town where we sat in an illicit corner booth, hidden away from most of the other patrons. I ordered a cheeseburger with fries while he asked for a brisket sandwich smothered in BBQ sauce with jalapenos and a side of hash browns.
The conversation was quiet and awkward for the first part of dinner while we inhaled our plates of food. I don’t think either one of us had eaten very much since we’d started moving and we were famished.
After our bellies had finally started to feel full, I brought out my pocketbook and started showing him some of my wallet pictures from when Bentley was a newborn all the way up until now.
“I can’t believe how much he still looks the same. He’s the spitting image of me when I was that age.”
“Yeah, he doesn’t look much like any of my family,” I sighed, admiring my handsome boy in all of his different pictures.
“He has your eyes. Hopefully, he’ll have your personality. Lord knows I”m full of piss and vinegar as it is,” he threw his head back and laughed.
“For sure.” I looked over the table of food, noticing that I’d eaten all of mine, and he looked like he was near finished. “We can go whenever you want. I’m stuffed and beat.”
“I hear ya. I’m ready to crash myself,” he took some cash out of his wallet and left the tip on the table. “Let’s call it a night. I want to make sure we’re at your dad’s place early to pick up Bentley because after that, I’ve got to meet up with Henry and I wanted to swing back by your place before it gets dark and check the woods around your property.”
I changed into an oversized t-shirt and brushed my teeth before I opened the bathroom door and turned off the light. From the doorway, I could hear humming.