by Vivian Ward
“Honestly? My plan was to swing by your place later to check on you, you know, to make sure you were okay after everything you were going, though.”
I was still having a hard time believing that she was there. It had been so long so since she’d been inside my apartment and all of a sudden, there she was.
“So how are you doing?” I asked. “You doing better today?”
Maybe it was a dumb question to ask, but I sincerely wanted to know how she was. Unfortunately, it caused her entire demeanor to change.
I saw a wave of sadness take over her a she lowered her head to look down at the floor. I thought maybe she was about to start crying. Instead, she breathed in slowly and exhaled just as slow.
“Yeah, I guess I’m doing okay. I’m not good by any means, but I suppose I'm doing better than yesterday,” she told me.
I was worried about her and knew she was doing everything she could to keep her hurt and sadness to herself. I knew that she didn’t like to drink but thought maybe a drink could do her good under the circumstances.
“Listen, I’ve got some Old Crow if you’re interested in drinking those bad feelings away. It won’t get rid of your pain forever, but it’ll do the job for the night.”
“Old Crow? What is that?” she asked as I made my way to the cabinet, pulling the bottle out. Of course, the bottle was half-gone already. I’d already used it to try to quell the pain of losing her.
“It’s what they call bottom shelf whiskey. Just as strong as Jack but a whole hell of a lot cheaper,” I told her.
“Whiskey? You know I don’t drink that stuff,” she said. After a few moments of contemplation, she decided to go for it. “What the hell, why not? Pour me a glass.”
“How about we start with a shot,” I laughed.
“A glass, a shot, however in the hell you drink this stuff.”
I started laughing at her which, in turn, made her start laughing as well. She was so naive about things like that, and I always found that to be so cute. I grabbed two shot glasses off the counter and filled them with the whiskey.
Shay sat down at my kitchen table, and I sat across from her, placing her shot on the table. She grabbed it and thought about drinking it but wasn’t really sure how to do it.
She watched as I picked mine up and quickly shot it, swallowing it in a single gulp. I tried not to make any reaction even though it burned going down.
She grabbed her shot glass and looked at it like she was already regretting telling me to pour her one. Putting it up to her mouth, she closed her eyes and quickly threw it down the hatch. The look on her face was priceless. She scrunched up her entire face and shook her head back and forth, her tongue sticking out.
“Ugh, that may be the grossest thing I’ve ever tasted,” she said as I sat there trying not to laugh. “Pour me another.”
I have to admit, hearing her tell me to pour her another shot surprised the hell out of me. I poured each of us another shot, and we downed them at the same time.
For the half-hour that followed, the two of us sat around talking and laughing. She added in ridiculous faces and hilarious noises each time she took a shot. The shots had no effect on me whatsoever.
I’d been building up one hell of a tolerance since Shay and I split up. She was long gone, however. It had only taken four shots, but it was clear that she had already found her limit.
Eventually, she got up and started wandering all around my apartment. I had no idea what she was looking for, and I had a pretty good idea that she had no clue either.
As she made her way into my bedroom, I got up from the table and took a seat on the edge of my bed. She was being hilarious, and I wanted a front-row seat to see what she was going to do next.
She made her way over to my closet and opened the door, where she found some of the things she’d left at my place.
“Oh my God, I’ve been looking all over for these,” she said in a very broken sentence, slurring her words as she spoke.
She spun around in my direction, looking as though she was about to fall down. In her hand, she had the sweater and scarf that she’d left at my house. She looked down at me sitting on the bed, giving me a look that was jokingly angry.
“So why do you have this, boy?” she asked. “Why did you keep these things?”
“You left them here, and they were all I had left of you. I wasn’t going to get rid of them.”
“What do you mean they were all you had left of me? All these pictures on your wall weren’t good enough for ya?” She asked as she tossed the scarf around my neck. She was being playful and giving me a hard time. “I thought this whiskey was supposed to be making me feel better,” she said after a big sigh. “I don’t believe that it’s working. It’s not making me feel better.”
“The whiskey is just to numb the pain,” I told her. “It’ll take you some time before you actually feel better but I promise you that it’s all going to be okay.”
It had been so long since I’d had her and I was yearning for her. I had to have her. I rested one of my hands on her back and ran it up to her shoulders.
“Maybe I can do something to make you feel a little better,” I said as she leaned closer to me, moaning lightly as I rubbed her shoulders. “Do you want me to make you feel better?” I asked.
“I do,” she replied as I guided her down onto the bed.
I was happy to finally be getting the chance to be with her again. It had been so long since I’d embraced her and felt the softness of her touch.
“I’m going to take care of you tonight,” I told you. “Just lie back on the bed and relax. I want to make you feel good,” I whispered into her ear.
Shay didn’t say anything. She just nodded her head and smiled. I gave her a long, deep kiss on the lips before running my lips and tongue down to her neck.
I kissed up and down her collarbone, unbuttoning her jeans as I moved along. I continued kissing her hips as I yanked her pants off her body. My lips kissed over her panties, causing my dick to harden.
Once I had her jeans completely pulled off of her, I tossed them to the side, watching them float to the floor before I crawled on top of her. Shay looked beautiful lying there on the mattress. She was looking up at me.
She didn’t say it, but I could tell that she needed me just as much as I needed her. If she could have some kind of release, she might feel just a little bit better. I wanted to make her feel better, even if it only lasted for a little while.
I moved my hand up her thigh as Shay slowly spread her legs apart for my touch. I laid down next to her and kissed her neck and shoulders while my fingers traced over her panties. The skin below was so soft and inviting. I couldn’t wait any longer.
I moved the thin fabric aside, exposing her completely. I could feel the heat coming off her body. I took one of my fingers and pushed it inside of her. She was wet and ready for my touch. Using her juices, I wet my fingers and began to slowly rub her clit. She moaned, grabbing my arm.
Before long, Shay started to squirm and move around under my touch. It hadn’t taken her very long, and she was already about to get off. It had been so long since we’d been intimate with each other. It felt like ages since I’d been able to touch her and I’d missed it.
“There you go, go ahead and let go. Go ahead and cum for me,” I whispered into her ear as I slid two fingers inside of her and continued rubbing her clit.
Within seconds she was yelling out, her entire body shaking with pleasure. She arched her back, bringing her ass completely off the mattress as her orgasm overtook her.
Once she was done, I slid my fingers out of her, causing her to moan a little more. She looked more beautiful than she’d ever looked before. I was hard as could be but I wanted that night to be all about her so I played with her hair. She looked like she had indeed taken an edge off. She looked so relaxed.
“Why don’t you go ahead and go to sleep. Forget about everything else until tomorrow,”
Shay didn’t put up any resistance. She rol
led over onto her side, nuzzling her head in my chest while I pulled up a blanket and held her in my arms while she went to sleep.
I felt like everything was finally right. It had taken a long time to get to that point, but everything was finally right again.
Chapter 15
Shay
I had no clue what time it was. All I knew was that it was sometime at night because it was pitch black outside. I sat up on the bed, and my head instantly started to spin.
Having never been drunk before, I’d never experienced a hangover. If that was what you had to look forward to when you drank, I wasn’t sure why anyone touched a sip of alcohol in the first place.
It took me a minute to get my bearings, but I was able to look around and realize that I was still in Nick’s apartment. My head was pounding so I laid back down onto the pillow and wondered what I had been thinking. I kept trying to talk myself out of going over there.
I kept telling myself that nothing good could possibly come from going to his place. I didn’t let those little voices in my head win, however, because I felt like I owed it to him to thank him for being there for me when I needed him the most.
Showing my gratitude was never supposed to end with my in his bed, but there I was. My inhibitions were gone as soon as the whiskey went down my throat and I allowed passion and desire to take over.
Nick was sleeping peacefully next to me, his arm around my waist, just like we always slept. I slid my body to the side, grabbing his hand and moving it away from me.
He moved around and said something indecipherable in his sleep, pulling his arm close to himself as he readjusted his body. It was dark, but I was able to see him using the dim light coming from the bathroom. I couldn’t help but look at his face. He was so handsome.
I thought about how well I knew him but at the same time, didn’t really know him at all. When it came to the physical aspects of our relationship, I knew him well. I knew every single detail of his body.
I knew what turned him on, as well as the things he didn’t like. I knew what made him laugh, and I knew what made him upset. What worried me, however, were the things that I had no clue about.
When it came to his past, I had no idea what was true and what was made up. I had no clue who he was when he was younger or anything about his life before I met him.
All I knew was that he had been to prison after a bar fight got out of hand. I didn’t know what prison had been like or what kind of an effect it had on him.
Lying there looking at him was so strange. He seemed so peaceful. Everything seemed so peaceful. It made me wonder how things progressed the way they did. How did we end up in such a bad spot?
I never would have put up with any of that from any other man but with him, it was so different. Could it be because I had never been in love with any man like I loved Nick? Could it be because I had never felt the kind of love that he had given to me? Was it really love, though? Was it real?
It sure felt real. When we were together, he’d been so good to me. He was sweet and loving. Honestly, when the truth came out about him being in prison, he was pissed off, but he wasn’t mad at me. He never told me that I should mind my own business or anything like that.
He was persistent when it came to getting me back. He let me know that he was there and that he still loved me. He never yelled at me or hit me when I denied his advances. Instead, he just kept making sure I knew he was around.
A few people that I told about it said that I should have been scared of him. They told me that I should have been concerned at his persistence, but I wasn’t worried in any way. I wasn’t in fear at any time. I knew that he wouldn’t ever hurt me.
Of course, maybe I was just being stupid. I could have made him stop coming around if I really wanted to. The truth was, somewhere deep down inside of me, I didn’t want him to stop.
As I pondered all of these feelings, I looked down and watched him sleeping. It always amazed me how such a big, tough guy could look so angelic when he slept. All of his features when softened while he was out.
The lines that I usually saw on his forehead weren’t visible. I took my finger and traced it lightly from his cheek down to his chest. His muscles were thick and hard, even as he slept.
“Hey gorgeous,” Nick mumbled out of his sleep, his voice sounding throaty and scratchy. “How are you feeling?” he asked me, placing his hand on my arm.
I don’t know if it was the alcohol that was still in my system or something else, but it felt like the walls were going to close in on me. I scooted away from him as fast as I could and jumped out of bed. As soon as my feet hit the floor, I regretted my decision. My head was pounding, and I felt dizzy.
“Shay? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I'm okay. I’ve just got a little bit of a headache. Should have known better than to drink like that. I won’t be making that mistake again,” I told him as I bent down to put on my jeans. “I think I’m just going to head home.”
“What? You’re leaving? Why?” Nick asked as he stood up from the bed. “You can’t drive home. You’ve had way too much to drink.”
“It’s fine. I’m not drunk anymore. I just really have to go. I only meant to stop by for a few minutes. I shouldn’t be here.
Nick
I was having a hard time trying to process what was happening. I thought that things between Shay and I were all taken care of. I thought we were good.
For once, she had actually come to me instead of me having to go for her. I didn’t make her come to my apartment. She came by herself because she wanted to thank me for being there for her in her time of need. She sat at my table and did shots with me. She allowed me to touch her and be intimate with her.
“Shay, it may be because I just woke up but I can’t understand what’s happening right now,” I told her as I rubbed my eyes. “You don’t need to go anywhere. Why don’t you and I just go back to bed and get some sleep? We can talk about this all when we wake up.”
“Nick, I really just need to go. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lead you on. I just need to think.”
“Please, think about what you’re doing. Don’t you know how much I care about you? Do you have any clue how much love I have for you in this hardened heart of mine? I don’t think you have any clue how happy it made me to open my door and see you on the other side. I didn’t force you to come here. I didn’t make you come here against your will. I’m not going to make you stay here if it’s not what you want to do. I just wanted you to know exactly how I feel about you.”
Shay looked down at the floor, not sure how she was supposed to be feeling.
“All I wanted to do was be there for you,” I continued. “When you showed up here, the only thing I wanted to do was help you. All I wanted to do was try to make you feel better. I just wanted to do what I could to make you happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. I just want you to be happy. At this point, I don’t care if it’s because you’re with me or not. I just want you to be happy. You deserve it.”
Shay
Never in my life had I felt so conflicted.
On one hand, I couldn’t help but be upset over the secrets he kept from me. At the same time, I was worried about him. I’d never seen him as upset as he was right then.
What made things even worse was the fact that he was having such a hard time dealing with the pain he was feeling. I knew I loved him and, as upset as I was with him, I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it.
Seeing him so upset was starting to bother me as well. I walked right up to him and put my arms around his neck.
“I know that you mean everything you just said to me. I can see it in your eyes. I know that you want me to be happy. I’m just drained, and my head is pounding. Please don’t be mad at me.”
“Mad at you? I could never be mad at you,” he whispered into my ear. “I just don’t want to lose you. I love you so much. I promise you there’ll be no more secrets. I’ll be an open book from now on, no matter how p
ainful that might be for me.”
“Okay, then why don’t we go back to bed and continue this conversation in the morning,” I told him, moving him back towards the bed.
I was still so confused.
In fact, I may have been more confused than I was in the first place. The one thing I wasn’t confused about was how I felt about the man standing in front of me. Out of everything he had said and done, in the end, all he wanted was for me to stay with him and that’s what I was going to do. I was going to start with the night and see how things went from there.
Nick
In the bedroom, Shay and I made love. When I climbed on top of her, I noticed that she didn’t spread her legs nearly as far apart as she usually did. It was as though she was reluctant to be with me. After the way I had treated her, it was hard to blame her.
“It’s okay, Shay. I’m not going to hurt you. I promise I’m never going to hurt you again.”
I felt her legs open, allowing me to position my body the way I wanted it. Grabbing onto one of her thighs, I slowly guided myself inside of her.
As I felt the tightness of her opening, all of my worries were gone. When I felt how wet she was, I started to realize that everything was going to be okay. She may have been hesitant, but she wanted me just as I had wanted her.
She meant the world to me, and I was going to show her one way or another. I never wanted to let go of her and I’d do anything to protect her for as long as she would allow.
The two of us lying in my bed, making love, made me feel alive again. Like I had a purpose.
Finally, we had another chance. I had another chance.
Shay
I could feel Nick’s body weight pushing me down into the mattress as he slowly moved himself in and out of me. I felt his girth completely filling me as I felt him deep inside of me.
He felt good. He felt really damn good. After all the things that had happened between us, the lies from months ago, the things earlier that evening, there was no denying how good Nick felt inside me.