I was at my locker glaring at the contents within, when Lynn came skipping up to me.
“Hey stranger,” she said, poking me in the side. “I’ve barely seen you all week. I hope that means things are going good with Blaine?”
She shifted until her back rested against the lockers, as she lifted a suggestive brow.
The familiar look on her face, and the friendly, non-judgmental smile in her eyes was needed. It was the comfort I was desiring, but had yet to receive from anyone. I missed uncomplicated. I missed my boring, undramatic life. I missed life without Blaine, but then again, I missed Blaine.
See?
Complicated!
Everything I was thinking must’ve showed in my expression. Because suddenly Lynn’s smiled dropped and she moved closer to me.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, and her face crumbled with worry.
And then I did something I hadn’t done in a long time. I started to bawl. My tears weren’t pretty, and they weren’t quiet. No. I couldn’t have gotten off that easily. Instead, I sobbed uncontrollably and loudly, making the students who passed us stare.
Lynn slammed my locker shut and tugged me into the nearest girl’s bathroom. She left me at the sink while I let the tears fall, returning a few seconds later with tissue for me.
“Thank you.” I sniffed, sopping up my tears until the tissue fell apart in my fingers.
Once the water works stopped, and I swallowed the knot in my throat, I felt much better.
“Want to tell me what all that was about?” Lynn asked, tucking a strand of wet hair behind my ear.
She rested her hip against the counter with crossed arms and waited for me to get myself together.
I sighed. “I honestly have no idea where that came from, but I feel a hell of a lot better.”
She didn’t look at me like I was crazy, which was what I expected. Instead, she smiled at me before she burst into laughter. I held it in as long as I could, but soon I was laughing right along with her. The laughter felt even better than the tears.
Our giggles echoed off the bathroom walls, and I was sure everyone who walked by the door could hear our hysteria, but I didn’t care.
Wiping the laughter tears from my face, I took a deep, cleansing breath. Lynn did the same, smudging her eyeliner beneath her eyes.
“So, which is it?” she asked. “Your parents, school, or Blaine?”
I nodded, using my deteriorating tissue to collect any leftover tears. “All of the above.”
“Things didn’t go so well with Blaine this week?”
I hiccupped and shrugged. “No, not really. But I’m over that. Our project is done and turned in. That was my main concern. I just need to focus from here on out.”
“Can I tell you what I think you need?”
I pursed my lips to the side debating on how I wanted to answer that question. Lynn’s idea of how to handle things and my idea of how to handle things differed greatly.
“Go on,” I said cautiously.
“I think you need to relax, Chelsey. Like, forget everything. Screw your parents. And college. And everything else that’s bothering you. Having a good cry and laughing hysterically works, but remembering to have fun is a hell of a lot better.”
“There’s no time for fun,” I groaned.
“There is,” she insisted. “You have to make time. Promise me you’ll at least try to have some fun.”
I didn’t know how much fun I was going to have time to have, but it wasn’t going to hurt to agree to appease Lynn.
“Okay.” I smiled.
“Good.”
She seemed content, and that was all that mattered for now. She turned toward the mirror and I watched her reflection as she moved her fingers under her eyes and across her lips, fixing smudges.
When I found my own reflection I took in my puffy, red eyes and pale complexion. I almost didn’t recognize myself anymore. The stress of grades and college was beginning to run me down. It was aging me—turning me into an old hag way before my time. Maybe Lynn was right. Maybe I did need to remember to slow down and enjoy what was left of my teenage years.
My thoughts jumped to Blaine and all the fun he could offer, but then I remembered his face the day before, and the burn of his heated words. Swallowing down the hurt, I forced myself to push him from my mind.
The truth was Blaine was a ticking time bomb, and I didn’t want to be anywhere around him when karma caught up with him and his life exploded before his eyes. I didn’t need anyone else’s mess. I had a big enough mess of my own.
As soon as I pushed Blaine from my mind, Josh entered. I wasn’t an expert on boys, but that didn’t mean I didn’t know exactly what he was offering. They all wanted the same thing, and none of them had a clue they’d never get it from me.
Josh was attractive, but in a different way from Blaine. He was clean-cut and cute, while Blaine was a dirty mess of sexual tension. Both were dangerous in their own way, but Blaine was the one who truly scared me. He made me think of things I wasn’t ready for—made me want and need things a girl with my future shouldn’t want or need.
I didn’t tell Lynn about Josh asking me out. Something told me she’d have a field day with that tidbit of information. I wasn’t ready to talk about it, and I wasn’t even sure going on a date with Josh was what I wanted.
“Are you ready?” Lynn asked, zipping her small makeup bag and shoving it into her backpack.
“You go on.” I waved a hand her way. “I just want to make sure I have it all together before I brave the halls. You don’t think anyone saw me crying do you?”
“Nope. No one was around. Do you want me to wait with you?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m good. Thank you, though. And thanks for rescuing me earlier.”
“Always, babe. I’ll call and check on you later.”
“Okay.”
I waited until she left before I splashed my face with cold water a few times. Once the redness around my eyes faded a bit, I dried my hands and pushed my way through the bathroom door in a rush to get out of the school and home.
I ran straight into a wall of heat. The soft scent of deodorant and cologne moved over me. I took a deep pull of the masculine smell before I moved back and let my eyes wander. I knew who it was before I even saw his face, but still when my eyes met Blaine’s, I lost my breath.
His nostrils flared as his eyes moved over my flushed face. He was brooding, and I couldn’t tell if he was angry at me again or if it was worry I saw move through his expression. I also wasn’t exactly sure why he was camped out just outside the girl’s bathroom.
“If you’re waiting for someone, she’s not there anymore. I was the only one in there,” I said.
I brushed past him without waiting for his response. He caught my arm, stopping me in my tracks, and his calloused fingers moved over my skin sending chills into my shoulder.
“Why were you crying?” he asked.
I stood there, my mouth opening and closing like a fish as I tried to come up with an excuse.
“How did you know I was crying?” I asked, turning on him. “Did Lynn tell you?”
I knew when I asked the question that she’d never betray me that way. She’d die before she let my secrets slip.
“I saw you,” he said.
I frowned. “You saw me?”
Embarrassment seeped into core and I tried once again to move around him. Again, his fingers moved over the skin on my arm stopping me and sending a fresh batch of goose bumps up to my shoulder.
“Answer the question, Chelsey,” he begged softly. “Why were you crying?”
His gently spoken words pushed me from embarrassed to angry.
“That’s none of your damn business,” I snapped. “Now, it’s your turn to leave me the hell alone. Our project’s done, which means there’s no need for us to be around each other anymore.”
I tugged my arm from his grasp and he let me go. Once I was loose, I took long, angry strides to get away from
him. I could feel the tears pressing on the back of my eyelids and I refused to cry again. Especially not in front of him.
His sneakers squeaked behind me as he walked on my heels.
“I asked you a question, Chelsey.” His voice was now stern when he spoke to me, the softness having dissolved with my heated answer.
“I heard you, and I don’t owe you anything.”
I continued to power-walk down the hallway, which didn’t help me get away since even his normal walk was faster than me.
He sighed, but didn’t slow down. It angered me that he was calmly walking while I was practically running. Everything he did was so calm, cool, and collected. Meanwhile, I was a mess of dramatic nerves and tears.
Damn him!
“Answer my question and I’ll leave you alone.”
I stopped, turning a heated glare his way.
“You have a lot of nerve, Blaine Wesley. Who do you think you are? All demanding answers from me when you had no interest in answering my questions yesterday.”
Suddenly, he pulled me to him, holding me tightly against his hard body. His fingers wrapped around the top of my arm, enough to hold me still, but not enough to hurt me. I felt tiny sparks of electricity in all the places he was touching me. On my arms. Down the front of my body. And when he lifted his palm to my cheek, there was a spark there, as well.
“Why were you crying, Chelsey?”
His voice was soft and gentle, but still firm and demanding. He was confusing me and melting me at the same time. His face was so close to mine that I could see every magnificent shade of blue in his eyes.
“Why do you care?” I rasped.
My voice cracked and I had to swallow.
“Because I can’t get you out of my head,” he whispered fiercely. He ran a rough hand down his face. “Please,” he begged. “Tell me why you were crying. Was it that guy Josh? Did he do something to you?”
He caught me off guard and I stood there stunned by his questions.
“What?” I asked. “How do you—”And then I understood. “You were there weren’t you? Yesterday in the library? You were there and you heard our conversation. You heard him ask me out, didn’t you?”
I pushed at his chest and he let me go. I stood an arm’s length away from him as I sorted through the mixed up emotions running around my head. I was angry. I was hurt. And I was definitely confused.
“You treated me like crap yesterday because you were jealous?” I growled. “Do you know how childish that is, Blaine?”
His eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened. I could tell by his reaction that I hit the nail on the head. He was jealous of Josh. He sat nearby listening to my conversation with him, and then he took his jealousy and anger out on me after school.
His nostrils flared and his lips tightened. “Are you going to answer my question or not? Was it Josh?”
“Was what me?” Josh asked from our side.
Neither of us had bothered to notice we weren’t alone. Go figure the topic of our conversation would be the one to interrupt us.
I turned, my eyes raking over Josh’s large shoulders and settling on his confused expression. His eyes moved from my face to Blaine’s, and if looks could kill, Josh would’ve been dead. Blaine’s eyes dug into him as he seethed from my side.
“Did I interrupt something?” He put his hands up, taking a step back.
“Yes,” Blaine snarled.
“No,” I stressed, overpowering Blaine’s hostile response. “Blaine and I turned in our project today.”
“Okay,” he said, drawing out the word. “Well, I just wanted to see if you wanted to go with me and a couple of friends to a party tonight. There’s this old farm on the other side of town and a lot of people are going out that way. I’ve never been there, but I thought it could be fun.”
I knew exactly which farm Josh was talking about. It was the same place where Blaine had first kissed me. I knew it wasn’t Josh’s kind of place, but I wasn’t about to talk about that in front of Blaine.
When I didn’t answer right away, Josh’s glance moved from me to Blaine, but Blaine was too busy staring at me to notice. The awkward tension of the moment was starting to suffocate me and I found myself silently wishing I could disappear into thin air.
“I guess that answers my question,” Blaine snapped.
He moved between me and Josh, his shoulder slamming into Josh’s as he passed, before he threw the doors open and left the building.
“What was that all about?” Josh asked.
I shook my head. “I have no idea.” Quickly, I changed the subject before Josh could ask any more questions. “So, a farm party tonight?
“Yes. But before you say no, remember you owe me one date.”
I chewed on the inside of my lip as Lynn’s words weaseled their way through my memory. Going to the farm for a party with Josh didn’t sound like much fun. Not to mention, there was always a possibility Blaine would be there since he was at the last one, but still, Lynn was right. I needed to get out and make time for things other than school.
“Okay,” I agreed. “I could use a little fun tonight.”
And that’s exactly what I planned on having.
14
BLAINE
I WAS TORTURING MYSELF by going to the party on the farm. Especially since I knew Chelsey was going to be there with that jock asshole. Still, I knew how crazy things could get at the parties in my neck of the woods, and I didn’t want her getting caught up in any fucked up bullshit.
Taking a long swig of my beer, I checked the parking area again as I waited for Chelsey to show. It was two hours into the party and still she hadn’t showed up. Maybe I’d get lucky and she wouldn’t. Maybe she decided the smart thing to do was to stay her pretty ass home and avoid Josh and all his bullshit for the night.
I took a blunt when Jay passed it my way and took a deep draw from the tip. The cherry lit up and crackled. The smoke filled my lungs, and I held it in until I had to breathe again. Blowing smoke rings into the night air around me, I coughed and passed it back.
“Some good shit, right?” Jay asked.
My lungs were still tingling from my hit—my throat still burning from how harsh the smoke was.
“Fuck yeah,” I answered. “When’d you get it in?”
“It’s some new shit I picked up in Savannah last weekend. I paid an extra twenty bucks per pound. I figured it was laced with some kickass extras, but instead it turned out to be some redheaded nasty Kush.”
Redheaded nasty meaning it was covered it red fur and was going to keep us high all fucking night.
I shook my head and laughed. Jay was always coming up with crazy names for his product, but the man knew good shit when he had it and since as I was one of his best customers I always had first dibs.
Once I emptied my cup, I stood from my fold-out chair and walked toward the keg. The bonfire was blazing, sending flecks of embers into the night sky, and the crowd was getting thicker and louder.
Johnny, better known as Swamp Cat, one of the local redneck boys, brought out a pair of his four-wheelers, and a few of the dumb asses were racing them and getting them bogged down in the Georgia mud off to one side of the field.
Needless to say, the night was rowdy and the noises from the four-wheeler engines were roaring to life every few minutes in the background. There was laughter, engines, and music in the air along with the distinct smell of alcohol and smoke.
Girls danced around the fire, dropping low and twerking to music as the guys stood to the side and watched. I’d been one of those guys once. Hell, less than a few months back that had been me. But now the only girl I could think about was Chelsey, which was cruel since she was the total opposite of me and my lifestyle.
I pumped the keg and filled my cup before I headed back toward Jay and the group I was chilling with. The engines roared to life again, and I watched as one of the four-wheelers lost control and spewed mud into the air behind it. Turning away as a few guys ran out tow
ard the mud to help him, my eyes landed directly on Chelsey.
She was sitting on a stump beside the fire with Josh’s arm around her shoulder. Her long, brown hair was pulled back showing off her round face and flushed cheeks. Her jeans were tighter than usual—the collar of her shirt a bit lower. She looked sexy, and I bit into my lip just thinking about the things I wanted to do to her.
I worked my way across the crowd back to my seat, my eyes staying on her the entire way. She smiled up at Josh, making the beer in my stomach turn sour. I watched from across the bonfire as she listened intently to everything he was saying before she threw her head back and laughed.
He pulled her to his side and whispered in her ear making her cheeks blush. I wanted to rip his arms from his body and beat him with them. Fire ripped through my body like a bolt of lightning and before I realized what I was doing, I was on my feet and taking long, hard strides to where they sat.
Chelsey’s eyes caught mine as I stepped up to where they were sitting, and her spine stiffened. Josh turned my way with a drunken smile and nodded in my direction.
“Hey, Blaine. What’s up, bro?” he slurred.
The motherfucker was drunk already. Fucking lightweight piece of shit.
“I’m not your fucking bro,” I snapped.
Josh stood like he was ready to do something, his face turning dark, and I went tense. He knew better than to fuck with me, but apparently the alcohol running through his system was making him brave. That was even better for me since I was fucking ready for a fight. My fist was practically begging for a piece of his face.
Chelsey stood between us, her eyes raking over my expression.
“What’s your problem, Blaine?” she asked.
And then I smelled it. The distinct smell of vodka on her breath. The fire moving through my body went hotter, turning my blood to lava, and I felt like my insides were turning out.
“You’ve been drinking?” I said, appalled as if I hadn’t been drinking myself.
But it was different with Chelsey. She wasn’t this person. She wasn’t the kind of girl to go to a party with a shithead who was drinking, and she definitely wasn’t the kind of girl who would partake while she was there.
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