by Lissa Kasey
Chapter 1
I SLIPPED on a pair of heeled calf-height boots and rode the elevator up from Gabe’s private apartment to the open lobby. The daylight shone through the main entry as the doors opened. Winter was in full swing, which in Minnesota meant endless cold and snow. The waiting spring crackled through my veins. Soon the ground would sprout flowers, trees, and grass. Critters would leave their dens to mate. I’d feel every bit of it, and it couldn’t happen too soon for my liking.
The doorman nodded to me as I opened my mailbox and flipped through the junk. A letter-sized manila envelope with my name on it gave me pause. I shoved the rest of the mail back in the box. My boyfriend, Gabe, would deal with it later.
As I made my way to the car, I opened the letter, wondering who I knew in California. The return address had no name, just a handwritten street and city. Inside, on thick paper with a fancy letterhead, the words looked like legalese. Something about a trust?
I folded it up haphazardly, stuffed the letter in my pocket, and headed to the last class of my college career. Having no desire to pursue a masters combined with the past few years of troubles at the university would make it easy to walk away. My professors spoke grandeurs about my graduation, and how I should give a speech. After all, I was the first male to ever graduate from the magic degree program. The thought of all those eyes staring just made me shudder.
The class passed as uneventfully as most had in the past few weeks. A survey for the teacher, a few final yawns from the class, and happy hugs for all the girl cliques as I made my way to the door. No one tried to hug me, which I was grateful for. However, waiting outside the classroom, the tall, muscular blond that was my older brother, Jamie, looked like he wanted one.
Someone nudged me from the side. I glanced over. It was Kelly, my best friend and Jamie’s lover. He winked at me and nodded his head in Jamie’s direction. I sighed and walked into Jamie’s waiting arms. His hug could probably have crushed a boa constrictor, but it was warm and real.
“Congrats, Seiran. It’s over. My baby brother, the first male witch to ever graduate with a magic studies degree.” Jamie smiled. “No more school, at least until you decide to go for another degree.” He could talk, since he had two.
Kelly patted me on the back. “You’re so lucky to be done. I’m just starting.”
I’d given him as much advice as I could. The years alone at school, alienated, hated, and discriminated against, had taught me a lot. For the spring semester there would be three male students entering the magic studies program at the university. Dozens had already signed up to test and could be entering in the fall. The idea I helped others find the courage to step up made me a little less shaky.
“Wanna go to lunch?” Kelly asked. His hand firmly nestled in Jamie’s. He walked proudly beside me, ignoring the glares I could feel coming our way. “I’ll drive. I can even drop Jamie off later to pick up your car.”
“Sure.” I wasn’t hungry, but I’d eat because I knew my body needed it. Now that school had finished, I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. Sure, I could work at the Bloody Bar and Grill as long as I wanted, but it wasn’t my passion. Not even when Gabe, who was also my boss, allowed me to change the menu, as he often did.
The Dominion, the head of magic in general, had offered me a job as a paper pusher, answering phones and filing. I think they really just wanted to keep me from doing anything important, yet as the first male to be welcomed into their elite female society, it almost felt like a big deal processing papers, delivering things. Had I really gone to school for four years just to become a desk clerk?
I was so lost in thought that we’d gotten all the way to Kelly’s new car, and I was in the backseat with Jamie sitting next to me, before he poked me back to reality. “Huh?”
“You’re sighing. What’s up?” “Nothing.” The whole work thing and “what do I want to do with the rest of my life” was an issue for everyone, wasn’t it? What did I want to do? Kelly worked at the bar now, too, but he had great aspirations of creating an equal camp environment for growing witches, female and male. He was majoring in magic, minoring in business and psychology. So laser-focused that sometimes I thought he and I lived on different planets. Focused until it came to my brother. Then there was the look he got on his face whenever Jamie was around. They both got kind of goofy, which made me smile and feel lonely at the same time. Suddenly I missed my boyfriend.
If it were nighttime, Gabe, who was a vampire and my lover, would be sitting next to me, but he needed to sleep too. I’d snuggle up with him later, so long as I could get Sam, who was a new vampire being mentored by Gabe, out of the apartment for a few hours. I knew they had to spend time together; it just bothered me how much time that was.
Jamie nudged me again. “You’re sighing again.” I gave him a sideways glare. “Just thinking.”
“About?” he prodded.
Nothing I wanted to share. Instead I pulled the letter out of my pocket and handed it to him. “Do you understand this?”
Jamie read it through, seemed surprised for a moment, then flipped it over as though looking for more writing. “It’s a letter asking you to attend a meeting in California, just outside LA.”
That part I got, but it didn’t stop my stomach clenching up when he said it out loud. “What kind of meeting?” “Looks like a relative has passed away, and he’s leaving you part of his estate. So as one of the trustees, you have to attend.”
“Who is it?” Kelly asked while he steered us to the restaurant he’d chosen for lunch.
“Charles Merth.” “Was he related to our dad?” I tugged at Jamie’s sleeve, trying to see the letter. How did he get that information out of all that legal jargon?
“His younger brother. I’ve never met him.” The tone of Jamie’s voice sounded odd. “Are you mad ’cause I’m a trustee?” Whatever this stranger was giving me didn’t matter if it came between Jamie and me. We’d worked too hard to get this far.
“Why would I be mad?” Jamie leaned over and gave me a rib-shattering squeeze before stuffing the letter away in his pocket. “The letter says you need to go to California. We’ll have Gabe call his lawyer to work out details. Hopefully they can just read the will over the phone or something.”
I’d never been to California. Never been anywhere, really, just Minnesota and Wisconsin in my earlier party days. Funny, since, at twenty-three, I should have had many more party days to go, but that was all behind me now, just like school. Was a life of mindless work all I had ahead of me? And why was some guy I’d never met giving me something when he’d never shown any interest in me while he was alive?
We sat down for lunch and discussed unimportant things like what crazy baby items we had bought for my twins. The babies would be arriving in a few months. They had been conceived through artificial insemination, and Jamie’s little sister, Hanna, was carrying them. She and Jamie had the same mother, but different dads, and Jamie and I shared the same dad. I hoped for my babies it would be less confusing. Family was family.
Jamie and Kelly held hands and gave each other occasional kisses. People stared. I drank tea and ate what I could. The earth felt so far away these days I didn’t have much comfort to turn to. All I wanted was for the sun to set sooner so I could be out in the open with Gabe.
Unfortunately, he spent more time with Sam these days than me. He had an obligation to fulfill as Sam’s mentor to the vampire world. Gabe had warned me that it would take up some of his time. I guess I just never thought it would be the time he normally spent with me.
Jamie pushed a piece of cake in front of me. It was red, blue, orange, and yellow, and had white frosting with rainbow sprinkles. “Stop sighing and share some cake with us.”<
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Kelly handed me a fork, as somehow I’d missed the waiter coming to ask us if we wanted anything else. Three forks, a giant piece of cake, and us, hmm. I dug in and shared with my friends, letting their happiness bridge the gap to allow me some of my own. The winter was probably getting to me more than I realized. Maybe a sunny vacation would be good. I wondered if I could convince Gabe to go. He’d been so wrapped up in Sam and whatever was going on with the TriMega, he always seemed stressed.
Kelly dropped Jamie off at school to pick up my car. He left saying something about going to the gym. Kelly declined his invite. He’d rather run or swim than lift or do squats. I was of the same mind, but thinking maybe we’d go to the Y for the heated indoor pool over the weekend.
I stopped by Gabe’s underground place to grab my forgotten book reader. Sam sat at the counter, glaring at an open bottle of Quicklife. His stillness made him look like the vampire he was. Glazed eyes, waxy skin, pale coloring—was he getting enough to eat? Gabe never looked so inhuman.
Sam didn’t glance my way as I grabbed my reader and headed back upstairs. The place smelled like him now, not Gabe. I would have taken Gabe’s smelly shampoo any day over that musky crap Sam seemed to bathe in. I couldn’t even cook in the kitchen down there anymore because everything had been tainted by that smell.
Gabe assured me it would pass, saying it was just something new vampires had. I wasn’t so sure. But it was his home, so if he could tolerate it, I guess that’s all that mattered.
My phone rang with an unfamiliar number. I frowned at it, though it had been nearly a month since anyone had harassed me. Maybe someone I knew had changed his number. “Hello?”
“Hello, Seiran,” a smooth voice came across the phone. My brain took a few moments to register where I’d heard it before.
“Tresler.” One of the TriMega, head vampires, was calling me. My heart pounded, and my blood felt like ice water running through my veins. “What can I do for you?”
“I’m interested in how you feel about being Gabriel’s focus.”
“Is he in trouble?”
“Of course not. He’s filed all the correct paperwork. We’ve approved his request to form a nest.” He sounded amused. “What interesting vampires will he create, being bound to the most powerful earth witch in the world, I wonder?”
“I wouldn’t say I’m the most powerful witch in the world.” Tresler’s laughter sounded creepy and intimidating, even over the phone. But I suppose any guy who could probably melt your brain by just looking at you should have a scary laugh. “So unexpectedly modest.”
“Is there something I can help you with?” I finally said after a moment of silent debating on how to reply. “Have you seen any unusual vampires around lately?” “No.”
“Good.” The phone buzzed in my ear. What the hell? I shoved it in my pocket and made a mental note to ask Gabe about Tresler’s odd behavior later.
When I walked into my condo, Kelly sat sprawled out on the couch watching football. I went to the bathroom, turned on the jets in the tub, and waited for the steamy water to fill up before stripping down, putting a clear plastic baggy over my reader, and settling into a new book. Surely some hot guy would get his ass pounded by a warrior with a huge rod. That was the kind of escape I needed.
My mind wandered a few times to the letter. My uncle had left me stuff. Why hadn’t he left anything for Jamie? Was Jamie just not telling me he got a letter too? What had my father been like? I knew he’d been one of the leaders of the Ascendance, but everything I knew of the Ascendance reminded me of Andrew Roman, who had been an evil man. Where had the corruption begun? Had my father known? Had his brother been involved with the Ascendance too?
Kelly popped into the bathroom sometime after 5:00 p.m., probably to be sure I didn’t drown. Which was silly, since he was the most powerful water witch in the country; it was unlikely I’d drown while less than twenty feet from him. But he checked on me a lot no matter what I was doing.
The Dominion, the leading body of magic, was still discussing our Pillar ceremony. Since we were already Pillars, I wasn’t sure what was up for discussion, but whatever. They did like to blow a lot of hot air around. Kelly was okay just being Kelly for now. And I liked that.
“Gabe stopped up. He wants to go tree shopping.” I groaned. Was it that time of year already? “I hate how people insist on having a dying tree in their living room, decorating it like it’s a fucking clown, and then throwing it away.”
Kelly’s hoot of laughter almost made me drop my book reader. I carefully set the device aside and turned off the jets in the tub. The bubbles still surrounded me, giving me that sleepy warmth I loved from a bath, but the pruney look of my fingers meant I’d been in the water far too long. “Don’t tell me you actually like Christmas?” I asked, more than a little worried I’d have another red-and-green freak on my hands.
“No. We are strictly Solstice folks in my house.” He pulled a giant fluffy blue towel off the shelf and held it out to me. “A clown? For a tree? Really?”
I pushed the buttons to drain the tub and rose carefully, taking the towel and wrapping it around me. The hot, damp air of the bathroom was cold compared to the warmth of the water. “How would you feel if someone put a star on your head and covered you with silly hanging ornaments?”
“Okay, Scrooge. I can expect no presents from you, then?”
Did I need to get him presents? I was new at this friend thing. I opened my mouth to ask, but he held up his hand. “No worries, Sei. We’ll exchange Solstice wishes. Okay? Gifts are not needed.” He gestured to the room, even though it was just the bathroom, and said, “This is my gift. I don’t have to live with my folks. I don’t have to live on campus with those assholes. My best friend doesn’t look down on me for being gay or a witch, and I have a guy who likes to wake up with me. What more could I ask for?”
I glanced down at his battered Nikes. “New shoes?” Kelly’s burst of laughter made me smile. “Sure. Buy me some shoes. I’m a size nine, but get dressed, please. We need to play nice with others, your boyfriend included. Clown tree or not.”
I sighed. He was right. Damn, I hated when he was right. Kelly was so much better with people than I was. He knew when to play nice and when to turn on the fake charm. My charm had lost its autopilot button weeks ago, and I was still struggling to get it back. I trudged to my room to dress for the cold evening coming my way.
Chapter 2
GABE and Sam stood together pointing and discussing things like length, height, and number of branches. The cold brought a shiver to my legs. Stupid Minnesota winter. A heavy weight dropped on my shoulders, but it was warm and smelled of spicy aftershave and Jamie. He tugged my hat down over my ears and smiled at me.
“You’ll get cold,” I protested, trying to give him his coat back. “Nah. I’m good. Wore my long undies.” Jamie pulled me toward the slaughtered trees with him. How could he stand to be here with so much death surrounding us? “Breathe, Sei. You’re turning blue.”
Kelly held his hand but looked out toward the trees, a frown on his face. He turned back and gave me a weak smile. The snow lightly falling on us made him keep glancing toward the sky. Was there a storm coming?
“I should make a live tree grow in his house,” I said to no one in particular as Gabe turned down the little path toward more piles of trees. The trees ached from the separation from the earth. They could live a little longer, sure, but it wasn’t really living any more than a human on life support lived.
“It would die without sunlight. Even a Northern Pine needs some UV rays,” Kelly told me absently. Christmas was so not my holiday. My mom, Tanaka Rou, a leader of the Dominion, had always made a show of having a big party for Solstice, presenting a big tree, cut fresh each year, in the foyer, full of decoration. Beneath the tree sat hundreds of multicolored presents for little Dominion girls. The giggling and rushing of fluttery dresses always annoyed me. I remember sitting on the top of the stairs watching those unknown girls
tear into gifts from a mother from whom I’d never received a single present.
Gabe paused and turned my way, patting Sam on the shoulder before skipping back to me, eyes twinkling and smile huge. He was just a big kid and Christmas was his thing. “They aren’t very big, but they smell nice.”
They smelled like dead tree and cleaner. I just smiled at him. He sighed and pulled me away from Jamie, hugging me tight. “I can get a fake one if you want.”
’Cause plastic smelled so much better than cleaner, right. I shook my head at him, then kissed his nose. I could make compromises too. He wanted a dying tree in his living room, so be it. “Go pick your tree.”
“You sure?” “Yep.” The faster he picked the tree, the faster I was in the warm car headed for home and maybe some snuggling. A recipe for cocoa sat on the counter next to the stove, a little smiley face drawn on it by Kelly. Nothing said Solstice more than the smell of melting chocolate, cream, and cinnamon.
Gabe kissed me again, then let go to bounce back to Sam’s side and the trees that surrounded them like a forest fire waiting to happen. Kelly nudged me. He handed me the silver cap of a thermos filled with some steaming liquid. I expected it to be tea, but when I brought it to my lips, the smell of chocolate broke through all the pine that tainted my nose. I raised a brow in question at him as I took a sip. His rose in return. It was good. Damn good. My recipe, the rich taste of cream, bitter bite of dark chocolate, a spicy kick of cinnamon, and a hint of something else. Chili pepper?
“I did good?” he asked.
“Yum. Very good.” I bumped his hip with mine.
Sam and Gabe wandered back through the windy paths of trees, both frowning. “Find anything?” Jamie asked. “Nope. We’ll look somewhere else. Sam’s hungry.” Gabe glanced at the new vampire next to him. Sam didn’t look at me at all. He and I hadn’t talked much since his transformation. I got the feeling he blamed me for a lot of the crap that happened to him. I guess I was partially to blame, but I had no idea how to even ask for forgiveness, since I hadn’t actually done the damage. And because Gabe was saying he’d be taking Sam out to hunt instead of home cuddling with me, I wasn’t really all that worried about being forgiven.