by Lara Frater
“You’re a big girl.”
“Daddy Mike said not to be ‘fraid of the booms, and I wasn’t!”
Abe found Brie when she was three and now at five she acted fearless. Simon on the other hand barely made it out alive and was often terrified. I worried about him. When got older he would be expected to pitch in. He didn’t do much now except keep Brie distracted. At least Charlie and Andy, the two new kids were more well behaved except getting Andy to bathe was apparently a nightmare.
Mike came over to me.
“Get in the car, Brie,” he said.
Brie giggled, she had a sweet laugh, and after giving Hannah a large hug, dove into the car.
Hannah walked up to where I was standing. She smartly wore a yellow slicker but it was still pretty hot and humid out.
“What’s going on?” she asked after giving Mike a quick hug.
“Annemarie and Keith are in the back. The bridge fell on the car towards the center blocking the back and bashed the roof in good so they can’t get out the front. I want to use the tire jack to raise the roof. Hannah, take off your rain coat.”
Hannah looked confused.
“Keith has a head injury; he’s bleeding back there. I need something to cover Annemarie with—I don’t want you touching him.”
“Why?” This came from Felix who joined us, Paul was beside him.
“Because Keith is a carrier of the zombie virus,” Mike said, plainly. “It’s a secret but I’m telling you because you are helping and should know.” I turned to Mike. I wished he had talked to me before blurting it out.
“I have enough gloves for everyone,” Hannah said.
Felix looked at me but he wasn’t mad.
“Sorry I didn’t tell you both,” I said to him and Paul. “Some of Joel’s men may be murdering carriers.”
“There’s more than one?” Felix asked. He didn’t smile or make a joke which scared me.
“Keith and our former leader Rachel. Keith seemed to think there are more. You get it like HIV. Keith is a good kid. He hasn’t done anything wrong.”
Paul finally spoke. “How did you know your leader was a carrier?”
“No one caught the virus from her like a cold. She passed it through sex. Keith could be immune, but I don’t wanna find out.”
Paul didn’t reply.
“Mike told you for your own safety, but you gotta promise not to tell Joel.” I realized that I barely knew these two men. Felix I trusted, but I wasn’t sure about Paul.
Felix finally smiled. “I had a friend with HIV. He survived it and died of the flu.”
“Paul?”
“What the fuck, Tanya?”
“This isn’t the time to argue,” Mike said.
“I ain’t touching a carrier,” Paul said. “No fucking way.”
“Felix and I can handle it. Tanya, Paul, why don’t you take the kids back home.”
Paul said nothing. He turned around and went to the car. I looked at Mike. “We’ll talk later. Let’s get them out.”
“You’re in the way, Tanya. We’ll handle it.”
“I wanna talk to Annemarie and Keith first.”
Mike didn’t respond. I went to the mini-van that already had an opened door. I could see the roof mashed into the seat making it impossible to push the seats forward. I could see a knee that I thought belong to Annemarie.
“Hey, Annemarie, Keith, it’s me. We’re getting you out. You guys okay?”
“Peachy,” she said, but Keith didn’t respond.
“Keith?”
“Tanya—you got to get Annemarie out of here and soon. I’m bleeding everywhere.”
“We’re working on it. Annemarie, Hannah’s gonna give you a jacket to cover yourself.”
“It isn’t going to help.”
I felt a hand on my shoulder, behind me was Mike and Felix. Mike had the jack in his hand.
“Go drop the kids off, and come back and get us.”
“I should stay here.”
Mike didn’t respond but he looked mad. I realized he was angry at me, like I had something to do with the bridge collapsing or was it that I sent Keith to the beach today or that I didn’t send Keith away when I found out he was a carrier.
“You’ll be in the way. Talk to Paul, make sure he doesn’t blab.”
The old me would have told him to fuck off, but the new me said we both needed to cool down. I didn’t respond, I walked to the car and got in the back seat.
I was in the back with the kids. Paul was in the front. No one said anything but Brie. As soon as I got in the car she began chatting away.
“Are Keef and Anniemarie going to be okay?” she asked. “Daddy Mike says they fine but stuck. I don’t want them to die like Mommy Maddie.”
Dave started the car without a word.
“They’ll be fine. Daddy Mike’s gonna get them out of the van.”
“Daddy Mike sez I can’t touch Keef when he’s bleeding cause he has,” then she whispered. “a dis-ea-se.”
“That’s right.”
“I like Keef, he’s nice but he doesn’t like to play even when he’s not bleeding.”
I heard Paul make an annoyed noise. I ignored him for now. Instead I looked over to Simon who starred intently at the rain.
“You okay, Simon?”
“Uh huh.”
Not really a respond but I took it anyway.
“What about you, Andy?”
“I’m good.”
I worried about Annemarie. This would be a fucking stupid way to go. Particular since she got over the crap on the boat. I tried not to think about it but I didn’t wanna put a bullet into her head.
Dave pulled the car in front. Dena took the kids out and walked them to the house. Paul began to follow. I got out.
“Give me a minute,” I told Dave and slammed the door. I heard Dave turn the car off but he didn’t come out. I caught up with Paul.
“Hold a second,” I said. Paul turned to me. He looked pissed.
“It’s pouring, let’s go inside.”
Others would be inside. We were both soaked but it wasn’t cold. A few minutes in the rain wouldn’t kill us. “I need to get back to the others, but before I do, I need to make sure you won’t tell anyone about Keith.”
“That he’s a freak? That we’re protecting someone who can pass the zombie virus?”
I got mad. “It ain’t his fault and he ain’t a freak. Besides we don’t know if he’s immune or a carrier. The only reason we think he might be ‘cause Rachel was one.”
“You Costking people are all freaks.”
I wanted to punch him. I liked new Tanya, the one who thought things through, but sometimes old Tanya had to come out.
“Go pack your stuff. You’re free to go,” I said. “Free to leave this fucking island away from us freaks.”
That startled Paul. The camp people were sheep. They didn’t like to be away from people who could look after them. Paul was a desk jockey. He liked his Starbucks and having a maid clean his house.
“Or you can stay. But if you squeal there’s gonna be consequences.”
Paul went from startled to mad. “Are you threatening me?”
“I don’t know—Are you gonna tell anyone about Keith or are you gonna keep your mouth shut? I don’t care if you avoid Keith but you tell nobody. You’ll bring trouble to all of us.”
Paul didn’t respond. His white boy face was stuck between terror and anger.
“I’ll make sure you never have to work with Keith. You don’t have to talk to me either but I need your word you gonna be quiet otherwise you find a new place to live.”
Paul took a breath. “I won’t tell, but you are a crazy ass n—“
“And we don’t use foul language either.”
Paul shook his head. He looked like he was gonna say something. Instead he turned and went to the house.
I went back to the car and got in the passenger seat. I thought Dave would say something but instead he put the car in drive. I
was still pissed at Paul and now I was annoyed at Dave’s silent treatment. He didn’t take his eyes off the road.
“Why ain’t you talking to me?”
Dave said nothing.
“Dave—“
“I’ve met someone.”
That put me out of my foul mood for a moment. I started laughing.
“It’s not funny.”
“What? You think we exclusive? Come on Dave, I know you a stupid white boy, but you smarter than that. It was just sex.”
Dave didn’t respond.
“Are you embarrassed you fucked me?”
“It’s not that—“ he paused. I knew that it was. My friends knew I fucked the cracker, I never hear the end of it. Whoever he met probably didn’t want to hear about our relations.
“Dave, just so you know I don’t want anyone knowing about us either.”
That seemed to satisfy him but I was still pissed. I didn’t expect or want a relationship but I was not a fucking embarrassment.
The hard rain had let up and the sky changed from black to grey. I saw Hannah by the crushed van. Annemarie stood beside her looking distressed but not a zombie.
I made a bee line for her as soon as I got out. She wore denim cut off men’s shorts. Above her right knee was a bandage. It looked like Mike and Felix were trying to get Keith out. Dave didn’t go over to help.
“You alright?”
She didn’t respond.
“Annemarie?”
“He bled all over me. I had an open cut.” She pointed to her knee.
“You look okay to me. How do you feel?”
“Her blood pressure is a little high,” Hannah said. “But that’s expected. Now we just play the waiting game.”
“You don’t look sick,” I said.
Annemarie started to cry.
“Jeez. Annemarie, you ain’t pasty, you ain’t turned white. You ain’t craving human flesh. How do you feel?”
“Like I’m going to die,” she said. She started breathing real fast.
“Annemarie,” Hannah said, her voice calm. “You’re having an anxiety attack.”
“No, I’m not. I’m fucking dying.”
Hannah took her shoulder. “Tanya’s right. Nothing indicates you’re turning into a zombie.”
“That girl had no sign—“
“What girl?” Hannah asked.
“The girl that killed Mindy. She was fine, not pasty. It took a long time for her to turn because she wasn’t bitten.”
I knew the girl well because I killed her after she turned. Annemarie was right. I don’t remember her showing signs.
I didn’t get a chance to say nothing ‘cause I heard a crack. Mike had gotten the door off the van and Keith popped out.
“Stay back!” he shouted.
Mike and Felix obliged. I didn’t. I left Annemarie with Hannah and walked over. Keith had a nasty head gash which was why there was so much bleeding. When I used to get into fights, I liked the head ‘cause people freaked out over the blood.
“Keith, Hannah’s got gloves. She can treat you.”
“No,” Mike said. “He can treat himself.”
I turned to Mike. He’s already pissed me off today ‘cause of telling Paul and Felix.
“She can answer herself,” I said.
“Yes she can. There’s blood everywhere. I don’t want her near him.”
I looked at Hannah.
“Do you agree?”
Hannah didn’t respond. I liked her but she agreed with Mike all the time.
“I rather he do it himself. Once the blood is gone, I can suture his wound if he needs it,” she finally said.
I don’t know if she said it ‘cause Mike said no or she didn’t want to treat him.
“Tanya, it’s okay,” Keith said. “You know I don’t want any trouble. Hannah, put the stuff on the car. I’ll clean myself up.”
I walked to Hannah instead.
“Give it to me.”
“Tanya, he’s fine doing it himself,” Mike said.
“Shut the fuck up, Mike.” Mike couldn’t respond because he looked stunned. Even Annemarie stopped crying.
I wasn’t no doc, but I’d patched up a few friends. Hannah handed me the first aid kit.
“Dave, after I clean up Keith, take everyone back ‘cept Mike and me. We got some things to discuss.”
I was surprised when Mike didn’t protest. I think he was still stunned over being told to shut up.
Hannah went to the car without a word. Annemarie joined her. I took a look at Annemarie before she got in the car. She had no signs of the virus. I tried to remember if the girl from Costking looked white but couldn’t. It seemed so fucking long ago.
Mike said nothing. He stood there looking pissed. This was the first real fight we had.
It didn’t take me long to clean and bandage Keith. The rain had done a lot of the job. I made him take off his shirt because it was covered in blood and tossed it aside. I made a mental note that when the rain stopped I would come back and burn it. As expected, the wound itself was small and didn’t look like it needed stitches. I put a large bandage on it, and then doubled it so it wouldn’t bleed through.
Keith got the shotgun seat while Annemarie, Felix and Hannah sat in the back. I watched them drive off and then turned my attention to Mike.
“Jim told me to be a good leader I shouldn’t be mean,” I said before he could even opened his mouth. “He said I got to understand people come from places different than me. I had it rough growing up, so this new world ain’t as hard for me as other people. I been trying to be understanding when people ask for stupid things but I’m still leader and you telling Felix and Paul about Keith without consulting me was dumb.”
“Telling me to shut the fuck up in front of my wife was dumb,” he said. He didn’t sound completely pissed off, but there was some anger.
I paused. Sometimes words came out of my mouth that I couldn’t stop. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“They had a right to know.”
“Yes, if they were going to have any direct dealing with Keith. Then I would have told them.”
“Anything could have happened, Tanya, that’s why they needed to know. I didn’t want anyone else to know about Keith, trust me.”
“It ain’t the spilling part that’s the problem, it’s the not trusting my judgment. I know you look after the people here, but I also know if there is danger, you’re gonna protect Hannah and the kids first.”
Mike didn’t respond.
“It ain’t nothing to be ashamed of, but that leaves me to be solely responsible for protecting my people. Means I gotta look after of them, not just my favorites. Everyone is my responsibility. Including Keith and Paul and you.”
Mike didn’t say anything. I couldn’t read his face.
“That means you gotta tell me stuff before you say it. You gotta confer with me.” See I could use fancy words.
“Tanya,” he said, his voice calm. “We didn’t always have time for a sidebar. Sometimes things just have to happen. You can’t control it all. People are going to die. There will always been a chance that many of us will die from a storm stronger than this one, a zombie attack, other people, or starvation.”
He was right, but I needed to know one thing.
“Do you respect me as leader?”
Mike didn’t respond for a moment and I thought I had my answer, then he said: “Yes, I do. I have incredible respect for you for taking on this giant task, something someone your age shouldn’t even be worrying about. But Tanya, leaders make mistakes and they learn.”
I didn’t respond because I didn’t know what to say. I heard the sound of movement and looked to where it came from. A zombie was making its way to us. It wasn’t close enough to moan. Mike looked at it, pulled his hand gun out of its holster. He took a moment to aim, looked down the sight and fired. A headshot Grace would be proud of. When he was sure the zombie was dead, he turned to me.
“So are we cool?”
Hearing that statement from a white boy cracked me up.
It was still raining hard when we got back but no thunder and lightning and the wind had died down. People were back working in the fields. I looked in on Annemarie first, but Hannah had given her a xanac that knocked her out cold. She showed no signs of turning.
I didn’t have to be in the field, but I checked out the people working there to make sure they were okay. There were plenty of rain slickers, so anyone could have one. The fields were littered with bright yellow. With all the drama this morning, I hadn’t had time to think about the damage the storm did to the harvest.
I came back to the house to find Ricky smoking on the porch. He wasn’t wearing one of these slickers.
“How bad is it?”
“No so bad. I took a long walk around the perimeter. Jim’s idea of a perimeter fence didn’t happen. It was too labor intensive. Instead we did regular patrols. “Most of the seeds and seedlings look okay. Good thing we got the loose seeds inside. We lost a lot of kale.”
“Shame, heard that was a superfood.”
Ricky snickered.
“There’s always going to be storms,” he said and smiled. He had a nice smiled but it was haunted. “You have to get used to it. We had issues even before this all happened. We got hit by some pretty bad hurricanes. Killed almost everything.” This wasn’t a hurricane but it was a pretty bad. I didn’t like not knowing if something in the sky was a regular storm or a hurricane.
“I’m not used to growing my own food. I liked going to the store and MickyD’s. Worst days were when they’re out of big macs.”
“I would love if we could get some cattle.”
“Jim says they ain’t green.”
“We don’t have to have a big herd, just a few for milk and meat.”
It bothered me that I might never have a McDonald’s hamburger or fries anymore. Jim said its better this way, but it was a reminder that things ain’t the same. He’s right but I don’t like everyone dead being the reason to do the right thing.
“Is there any way we can prevent this, I meaning losing crops.”
“A few more people. Machines that can do some of the picking.”