Loving Bad

by Regan Ure

  "Geez, you scared me!" I gasped as I turned to face her, trying to calm my heart down.

  She was sitting up and, even though it was dark, I knew she was giving me a knowing smile. I walked over to the curtains and opened them. Light flooded into the room, and I could see Jordan sitting with her back leaning against the wall. She was smiling as she shook her head at me.

  "Spill," she instructed. "I want to know what happened to you after I left?”

  At the last part, she was wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at me, to which I rolled my eyes.

  From the short time I'd known her, I'd discovered she said exactly what was on her mind and whatever she was thinking she blurted out. The good thing about it was that you knew exactly where you stood with her.

  Not only were we different personality-wise, but we also looked like night and day. I had the blue eyes, platinum-blond hair and pale skin. Jordan was the total opposite, with short dark brown hair that she wore in a pixie cut, and olive skin. Her hazel eyes were her most striking feature. I was secure enough in myself to know that I was pretty, but Jordan was gorgeous. She was single at the moment, “in between boyfriends,” she'd told me. Where I'd gotten a couple of appreciative glances from some of the guys at the party last night, Jordan had been constantly hit on.

  "So, what happened?" she asked.

  I sat down on my bed across from her, trying to figure out what to tell her. It was hard when I didn't remember. I rubbed my forehead a little, still feeling the headache that lingered.

  "I lost my virginity last night," I revealed reluctantly. I could have admitted the truth and told her that I wasn’t sure, but instead I lied.

  "Oh, wow!" Jordan gasped with wide eyes. "You really went for it."

  I nodded my head. I didn't want to reveal I couldn't remember anything about what was supposed to be one of the most eventful nights of my life.

  "I honestly didn't think you had it in you," she admitted. Apparently I did.

  She'd known that I'd wanted to have sex. I'd told her I wasn't waiting for the right one to come along. Not that there was anything wrong with that if I had.

  "And? How was it?" she prodded. She hadn't been kidding when she'd told me she wanted all the details. Details I couldn't give her, so instead of answering her question I just shrugged. What I'd heard was that the first time was sore and uncomfortable, so Jordan wouldn't be expecting me to tell her that I had felt the earth move.

  "Who was it with?" was her next question.

  She'd warned me about Sin last night. I remembered that much, so I didn't want her to know I'd lost it with him. It wasn't like I was ever going to see him again, and even if I did, it wasn't anything more than a one-night stand that would never be repeated. It wasn't like he wanted to hang out. He was the type to get what he wanted and move on.

  Lying was the easy part; remembering the lie was the hard part.

  "Just some guy I met at the party," I vaguely answered. I opened and searched through my side table next to my bed looking for some painkillers.

  "Was he hot?"

  She just wasn't going to stop with the questions. I found the painkillers and swallowed two with a bottle of water I normally kept beside my bed.

  "Yes."

  I wasn't going to tell her that he was the hottest guy I'd ever seen, and all he had to do was look at me to have an effect on me. A shiver ran through at the memory of meeting his eyes across the room full of people.

  "So, do you feel any different now that you've lost your V-card?" she asked.

  "No, I feel exactly the same," I replied. I didn't even feel a little tender down there like some girls had told me that I'd feel after losing my virginity.

  Even Jordan had relayed her first experience of sex. It had been in high school with some jock in the backseat of his car. It hadn't even lasted five minutes. Even she'd said that she had been tender there the next day.

  "Was this guy just a one-night stand or are you planning on seeing him again?" she asked. I let out a sigh as I sat back down again. I had a feeling she wasn’t going to let up on the questioning anytime soon.

  "It was just a one-night stand. I doubt I will ever see him again," I brushed off.

  It had happened the way I'd wanted it to, all except for the remembering part. I didn't have the need to get involved with someone to lose my virginity, so the fact that it had been a one-night stand with no strings attached suited me perfectly. It wasn't like I was daydreaming about a relationship with Sin. I was inexperienced in some ways and innocent in others, but I knew how a one-night stand worked, and I was okay with that. I wouldn't be shedding any tears over it.

  Trying to deflect the questioning off me, I turned the tables and began to ask Jordan about a couple of the guys she'd talked to last night. We sat talking for an hour about the party before I decided I needed a shower. I got my stuff together and went to the restroom. I was still feeling a little ill by the time I made it back to my dorm room. It was a Saturday, so I didn't have to worry about getting to class or trying to concentrate. I did have an assignment to do, but I could do it later or the next day.

  I was lying on my bed, reading a book, trying to get over my hangover. Jordan was dressed and busy with an assignment with some books open on her bed when someone knocked on the door. We both looked at each other with curiosity. We weren't expecting anyone. I sat up as Jordan walked over to the door and opened it.

  At the sight of the person who filled the doorway, my mouth dropped open in shock.

  What is he doing here?

  The sight of him made me want to climb under my bed and hide. One-night stands weren't supposed to come looking for you the next morning, were they? He was dressed in a faded pair of jeans and a plain white shirt. Even in shock, I couldn't dispute that he was gorgeous.

  Had I left something behind and he was here to return it? It was the only logical thing that would explain why he was here. But I couldn't remember leaving anything behind.

  "Whoever you're looking for isn't here," said Jordan with hostility. I'd never heard her be so rude before.

  But Sin ignored her as his gaze swept past Jordan into the room and onto me. I felt a shiver run through me at the intensity of it. It was too late to hide; he'd seen me. Jordan looked a little confused as she took a step back and looked from Sin to me. I felt a guilty blush tinge my cheeks at the fact that I hadn’t told her it had been Sin. He still had his intense gaze fixed on me when Jordan looked back to him.

  It was time to take control and be an adult in this uncomfortable situation. I'd had a one-night stand with him, and I didn't need to feel ashamed of that. The only feeling I should feel was the guilt for not telling her it had been Sin. I stood up and dropped the book I was reading onto my bed. An uncomfortable atmosphere set in as I walked over to the door, and Jordan took another step back and watched us with curiosity. He still hadn't said a word, and his gaze fixed on me as I came to a stop in front of him.

  Not wanting to have this conversation in front of anyone, my eyes met his for a moment and then I stepped past him. I walked down the hallway, and I couldn't ignore the appreciative looks some of the girls were giving him as he followed me. I opened the door to the staircase and turned to see Sin follow through the door behind me. Silence settled in between us for a few moments after the door closed.

  I was the first one to break the silence.

  "How did you find me?" I asked.

  "It really wasn't that difficult," he answered. "I asked around."

  "What are you doing here?" I asked anxiously, dropping my eyes to the floor for a moment. Just spending a little time in his presence made me hyperaware of him. It also didn't help that he could remember what we'd done last night, but I couldn't.

  "I wanted to check on you."

  It was the first time I'd ever heard him talk, or could remember hearing his voice. It had a sexy huskiness to it that made my body tingle. I had to remind myself that as attracted to him as I was, one-night stands didn't do repeat per
formances.

  "Why?" I asked, looking up to him as I crossed my arms.

  He gave me a confused look.

  "It was just one night. Why would you need to check up on me?" I asked.

  He looked at me like I was talking a different language.

  "What are you talking about?" he asked, shaking his head slightly.

  "Last night was fun and...thanks," I said, unsure of exactly what to say. From what Jordan had said, it had sounded like he was king of one-night stands, so he would know exactly how these things worked.

  He cocked his head to the side, brushing his lip ring with the tip of his tongue as he studied me for a moment.

  "How much of last night do you remember?" he asked.

  Should I lie to him or should I tell him the truth? I hesitated.

  "You don't remember," he murmured as he saw the indecision I was wrestling with.

  I pressed my lips together as I fidgeted with my hands. There was no point in lying about it. I was a grown woman, and I had nothing to feel ashamed about. I shook my head.

  "No, I don't."

  "Trust me—sleeping with me isn't something you'd forget," he assured me. Then it occurred to me—if we hadn't slept together, it meant I was still a virgin.

  Slowly, so many of the things I'd noticed—like not being sore or tender down there—began to fall into place. He watched me as I began to piece stuff together. But if we hadn't had sex, why had I woken up in the bed with him?

  "I don't understand," I said. "If we didn't sleep together, why did I wake up in bed with you?"

  That is it! I'm never going to drink again.

  "You were out of it last night, and you could barely stand," he revealed. I didn't remember having that much to drink, but I hadn’t drunk alcohol before. Maybe I didn't have a tolerance for it.

  "I'm sorry," I mumbled to him, feeling the heat of embarrassment on my face.

  "Did you take a drink from someone last night?" he asked. I looked at him. I wasn't sure what he was trying to get at.

  "Why would you ask that?" I asked, a little puzzled as to what he was aiming at.

  "I don't think you were drunk," he answered cryptically as he folded his arms across his chest.

  What exactly did that mean? Did he think someone put something in my drink? I frowned.

  "Do you think someone spiked my drink?" I asked the thought out loud. He nodded his head slowly while he watched me for a reaction.

  "Why would someone want to do that?" I asked, feeling shocked.

  "You can't be that naive," he said, looking at me in disbelief.

  I tried to hide my anger. Apparently I was naive. It came from a lack of experience, and I was trying to rectify that. Once the surprise disappeared, annoyance took its place as he took a step forward.

  "There are bad people out there. People who will do really bad things given the opportunity," he tried to explain to me. It was like he was talking to a child.

  "That was why I took you up to my room. I don't want to think what would have happened to you if I hadn't," he said. He dropped his arms to his sides, and turned his hands into fists.

  I suddenly felt a little bad for being angry at him when evidently I should be grateful for what he'd done for me.

  "Thank you," I mumbled.

  He'd looked after me and, like he said, it could have been worse if he hadn't. It explained why I was in his bed, but it didn't explain why I'd been missing most of my clothes.

  "You're welcome," he mumbled as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and dropped his gaze to the floor. It was like he was unaccustomed to being thanked.

  "Why was I only dressed in my underwear?" I asked, wanting to be able to piece most of what happened that night together.

  "You were trying to take advantage of me," he said with a smirk as he watched me blush. He looked like he was enjoying that little piece.

  So embarrassing!

  "I'm sorry," I mumbled again, wishing the ground would open up and swallow me up. I felt mortified that I'd thrown myself at him.

  "Don't be," he said. "If you hadn't been out of it, I probably would have taken you up on the offer."

  At that information, my stomach did a flip. Oh, wow!

  My skin tingled as his gaze swept me from head to toe. He smiled—that sexy, knowing, type of smile that told me he would make my world move if we had sex.

  "Uh...well...thanks," I stuttered back, trying to get a hold of myself.

  If this is what he did to me without touching me, I couldn't imagine what he was capable of if he could.

  "I’d better go," he said as he turned to leave. Then he hesitated for a moment and looked back over his shoulder to me.

  "If you ever want to take advantage of me when you’re in a sober condition, you know where to find me," he offered as a sizzling smile tugged at his lips.

  I felt my knees weaken from the effect.

  Then he turned and left. I stood, trying to recover as the door slammed shut. I leaned against the wall with my back and took a deep breath. His parting remark kept cycling through my mind. Was that something that I thought I was up for? I wasn't so sure. If I had more experience, I would know if I was capable of having sex with him without attaching strings, but I wasn't sure if that was something I wanted to chance. Developing feelings for Sin would only lead to heartbreak for me, and I wasn't sure I was ready to handle that yet.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Taylor

  Jordan was sitting on her bed with her arms crossed over her chest as she watched me enter the room.

  "I know. I have some explaining to do—" I began, but she cut me off with the wave of her hand.

  "I warned you about him. I told you that if you got involved with him he’d break your heart," she said, her tone getting more and more upset. "I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life; I just don't want to have to pick up the pieces when he’s done with you."

  My eyes softened at my roommate. I understood why she was so upset with me, and I loved that she cared.

  "Look, I'm sorry I lied to you," I apologized. "I shouldn't have. But the truth is, nothing happened with him."

  "Then why did he show up here looking for you?" she asked, her eyes questioning.

  "Well..."

  In truth, it was complicated.

  "He thinks someone spiked my drink last night," I started. Jordan's eyes widened, and she shot up.

  "Someone spiked your drink!" she shrieked. I grabbed her by both of her arms to try and calm her down. She was visibly upset at the thought that someone had tried to do that to me.

  "I have no proof someone did that. It's just that I didn't drink that much and Sin said I could barely stand."

  "You said you lost your virginity last night," she began and swallowed. "Did someone rape you?"

  "No," I answered, shaking my head for extra emphasis.

  "Sin is the reason nothing happened to me. He saw I was out of it, so he babysat me for the night."

  Jordan looked at me like I'd grown another head.

  "He babysat you," she repeated, hoping they would make more sense to her, but his actions clearly didn't coincide with the person she knew.

  "I didn't remember anything from the time that you left, and when I woke up, I was in Sin's bed dressed in my underwear. That's why I thought something had happened between us, and I left before he woke up," I started to explain as I released her arms and rubbed my forehead. I was still feeling the effects of my 'hangover.'

  "Why were you in your underwear?" she asked suspiciously.

  "No, it wasn't like that. He said I tried to take advantage of him," I admitted, feeling a blush tinge my cheeks. I'd felt that attraction for him across the room the first time I'd ever laid eyes on him, so I didn't doubt that given the opportunity I would have tried something.

  "Well I never," she murmured and sat down on her bed. It was like I'd told her Santa was real. I gave her a moment for her to wrap her mind around the thought.

  "It's ju
st he's normally the one that girls need protecting from. It just doesn't make sense that he looked after you." She was trying to explain why it was so hard to believe.

  I shrugged. It was what it was, and there was no point trying to figure it out.

  "I kinda feel bad for being openly hostile toward him," she muttered as she raised her eyes to mine.

  "It's fine. I don't think it bothered him," I replied. Then her face changed from sympathetic to angry.

  "I told you not to take a drink from someone you don't know," she lectured. It felt like I was getting a talking to from a parent and not just a friend.

  "I can't remember who gave me the drink," I said. Most people, by college, would know the dos and don'ts of going to parties and dealing with alcohol. I'd missed out on it, and I must have forgotten about Jordan's warning.

  I didn't want to think of what might have happened if Sin hadn't seen me. I took a deep breath of guilt and fear and released it. There was no going back and changing it. I just had to learn from my mistakes and make sure I didn't repeat them.

  "I knew I shouldn't have left you," she mumbled to me as she stood up and gave me a hug.

  "It wasn't your fault, I'm a big girl," I replied as I hugged her back. She pulled away slightly and looked at me with a serious face.

  "But that's the thing. You might look like a big girl, but you lack the experience that girls our age have," she said.

  She was right, but this was the whole purpose of going out and experiencing all the things that life had to offer, even if some of those things were bad. I wasn't going to be scared to do the things I wanted to because I feared the bad that could happen.

  "I know that you think Sin is a good guy because of what he did last night, but one good deed in among all the bad ones doesn't mean he's any less dangerous," she informed me, watching me closely to see my reaction.

  "I know."

  She was just telling me this because she was worried I would think he was a good guy, but I already knew that he was dangerous. If I allowed him anywhere near my heart, he would break it, and I didn't need Jordan to tell me that.

  "Okay, lecture over," she announced. "Let's go and get some lunch."