Now she didn’t want anything to do with him and he didn’t know how to repair the damage. And there could be collateral damage, too, depending on what Hayley had told her folks. He didn’t want to lose her, but he also didn’t want to lose her family.
She wouldn’t paint him as the bad guy. She was too kind for that. After the holidays, he’d attend a service at that beautiful little church and find out if her folks were speaking to him.
Keeping in touch with them was a good thing all by itself because he liked them so much. But they were also a link to Hayley. He might have to play a long game, but he wasn’t giving up.
Evidently he’d managed to hide his misery from the McGavins during the Christmas morning festivities and he was glad about that. He hadn’t expected gifts but got some, anyway. It was almost like they’d known all along he’d choose to stay, because he got a ton of gloves, scarves and even a pair of snow boots.
Everyone had exclaimed over his gifts of Chihuly blown glass paperweights that he’d found on a visit to the Atlanta Botanical Garden. No two were alike and he loved that. He only wished he’d brought enough to give Warren and Virginia one since they’d visited the city twice and likely had toured that garden.
Eventually all the gifts had been opened and the living room was strewn with ribbons, paper, bags and boxes. Nothing like the tidy Christmas mornings in foreign settings that he was used to. This was more like it.
It cheered him up some that he could look forward to another Christmas morning like this next year. Ryker had spread the word that he’d be moving to Eagles Nest and everyone had made a point of saying how glad they were. He felt wanted. Well, here, at least.
As people started picking up the wrappings and packing up to leave, Kendra glanced at him. “When are you due over at the Bennetts?”
“I, um, I won’t be goin’ over there today, after all.”
“Not even for a little while?”
“No, ma’am.” He hadn’t figured out an appropriate time to break the news but this didn’t seem like it. “She needs to be with her family.”
Kendra looked puzzled. “But you’re her family, now, too.”
“Well, I—”
“It’s okay.” Kendra’s voice took on a soothing tone, as if she’d guessed something wasn’t right and he didn’t want to elaborate. “Never mind. I’m glad we have you to ourselves today.”
He let out a breath. “Thank you, ma’am. I’m mighty glad to be here.”
The leave-taking continued until Kendra, Ryker and April were the only ones left.
Kendra asked April to come into the kitchen to consult on some item for tonight’s dinner and Ryker moseyed over to where Badger was picking up the last bits of paper.
“Let’s you and me take a walk.”
“Don’t you and April need to get on home?”
“We’re in no rush.”
“But—”
“Get your coat and hat, soldier. Clearly you’ve screwed the pooch and we need to talk.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Hayley hadn’t expected to hear from Badger. She hadn’t left any room for negotiation when she’d shot him down. And she didn’t hear from him. But three days after Christmas she got a text from Ryker asking if she’d have coffee with him at the Pie in the Sky Bakery.
Just you? she texted back.
Just me. I’m not into ambushing folks.
She agreed to meet him that afternoon at two-thirty. Although he’d said Badger wouldn’t be there, her heart still raced as she parked and walked into the fragrant shop.
Normally when she drove past, the place was bustling, but evidently this was the bakery’s slow time. Only one customer roamed in front of the pastry case choosing goodies from the tempting array behind the curved glass.
Ryker sat in the small seating area that included four tables with two chairs each. Both the table and the chair looked a little small for him. He stood when she walked toward him. “Thanks for meeting me.”
“Does this have to do with Badger?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He helped her off with her coat and hooked it on a nearby vintage coatrack. “If that’s a problem, though, we don’t have to talk about him. We can just have some coffee and maybe a slice of pie.”
She sat on the chair opposite him. “It’s not a problem. But is he out at the ranch? You said you don’t do ambushes but I—”
“You don’t have to worry that he’ll come strolling in here. He’s in Atlanta.”
“Oh!” Maybe she’d secretly wanted to be ambushed. “Did he change his mind about moving here?” She didn’t care for that possibility, either.
“No, ma’am. He just went back to gather his stuff.” Ryker glanced up when a woman with short, curly brown hair arrived. He gave her a smile. “Judging from Mom’s description, you must be Abigail Summers.”
“I am.”
“I’m Ryker McGavin and this is Hayley Bennett.”
“Pleased to meet you both. What can I get for you on this chilly afternoon?”
“Coffee for now, and maybe some pie. I’ve been wanting to come in here ever since tasting that Yule log Mom got. Spectacular.”
“I have another one in the back that’s not spoken for.”
“You do? Then I’ll take it home to April.” He looked over at Hayley. “Unless you want it for your folks?”
“No, thank you. We made enough Christmas cookies to pave Main Street.” She smiled at Abigail. “But that Yule log was amazing. Next year I’ll tell my mom to cut back on the cookies so we can have one.”
“That would be great. People did take to it. Two coffees, then?”
“Just coffee is fine for me,” Hayley said. “With cream, please.”
“Got it. Ryker?”
“Black coffee for me, please, and I’ll take a piece of that pumpkin pie with whipped cream.” He looked over at Hayley. “Sure you won’t change your mind? I’m sure it’s good pie.”
“I’m sure it is, too. All right. Thank you.” She was still adjusting to the disorienting news that Badger had left town. Instead of hanging out at the ranch, he was clear across the country. The distance shouldn’t matter because she didn’t plan to see him, anyway, but it did. He was too far away and she wanted to ask when he’d be back. No, better not.
Ryker waited until Abigail left before putting a wrapped package in the middle of the table along with a thick envelope. “I promised Badger I’d give you these. But you don’t have to take them. No obligation.”
Her chest tightened. He’d bought her something for Christmas. It looked like a book. No telling what might be in the envelope, though. “I’ll take them.” She picked up the package and the envelope and tucked them next to her purse. “Thank you.”
“I could have just dropped them by your house, but I…wanted to have a chat, put in a good word for Badger.”
“Before we get into that, I owe you an apology. You weren’t in favor of our plan and I’m sure it interfered with the visit you’d been looking forward to. I’m sorry for any inconvenience or awkwardness I caused you.”
He gazed at her quietly for a moment. “I did think it was a mistake. But turns out it wasn’t. Getting involved with you made Badger come to grips with a few things he’s been sweeping under the rug.”
“Like what?”
“It’s all in the letter.”
“That thick envelope is a letter?”
“Yes, ma’am. Took him three days to write it. He was finishing up when I drove him to the airport first thing this morning.”
“I can’t remember the last time someone’s written me a letter, let alone a long one.”
“There’s a lot in there. This might sound corny, but it was a labor of love.”
She gulped. How should she respond to that? “Why did he…I mean, what gave him the idea?”
“Well, I put the thought in his head, but he did the heavy lifting. See, letters are a big deal when you’re in the service. Video chats are great and email is wonderf
ul, too. But there’s nothing like an actual letter. You can take it with you and read it wherever you are. No batteries, no electricity required. And it’s private.”
“But it sounds like you know what’s in this one.”
“I know in general what he planned to say, because we talked about it. But I haven’t read a word of it. That’s between Badger and you.”
She glanced at the thick envelope sitting next to her chair like a time bomb. She could almost hear it ticking.
“You don’t have to stay for the pie and coffee if you need to get home.”
She couldn’t wait to tear into that letter, but she’d also been given an opportunity to talk privately with Ryker. That could be valuable. “I’d like to stay for pie and coffee. I want to hear more about Badger.”
Two hours later, he’d told her some silly stories that made her laugh, like the time Badger had walked all the way to the mess hall on his hands. Then there were the incidents that made her stomach clench. Evidently Badger had developed the habit of ignoring his own safety whenever he’d decided his flying skills could protect his buddies. Several pilots, including Ryker, owed their lives to Badger’s bravery.
Outside the diner she gave Ryker a hug and thanked him for being the messenger. Then she hurried home. No one else was there, which gave her the freedom to close herself in her room with the package and the precious envelope.
She opened the package first. She suspected that once she opened the envelope, she’d forget a package even existed.
When she took off the cheerful Christmas wrap, she gasped. Was he psychic? How had he known that she’d coveted this when she’d gone into the collectible shop a week ago? Then again, if he’d asked the owner, she might have remembered.
He must have been eager for her to open it on Christmas Day. And then… She closed her eyes as regret washed over her, leaving behind a hollow ache of longing. Atlanta was too damn far away.
Carefully turning the pages, she gazed at illustrations she’d loved as a child. Her copy of this book, which hadn’t been nearly this valuable, had been ruined when she’d left her bedroom window open during a rainstorm. Now she had the book again.
She vowed that at the very least, she’d find a way to thank him. He certainly deserved that.
Laying the book down gently, she opened the envelope and unfolded the sheaf of pages. They were covered with carefully printed words in all caps.
DEAREST HAYLEY,
THANK GOD FOR RYKER, WHO POINTED OUT THAT ALTHOUGH I HAD EVERY REASON TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE AN OPEN BOOK, I GAVE YOU NO REASON TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME BECAUSE I WAS A CLOSED BOOK.
She put down the letter, heart pounding. He’d fallen in love with her? Taking a deep breath, she read on.
THESE PAGES ARE MY POOR ATTEMPT TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING I CAN THINK OF THAT YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW. LIKE THE FACT I HATED MY PARENTS’ TV BAN. THE TUTOR WASN’T MUCH FUN, EITHER.
THIS IS PROBABLY A BORING READ. I DON’T PRETEND TO BE A GREAT WRITER. AND I CAN’T IMAGINE THAT YOU’LL BE IN LOVE WITH ME BY THE END OF IT, IF YOU EVEN MAKE IT THAT FAR WITHOUT FALLING ASLEEP.
BUT IF YOU SHOULD MANAGE TO WADE THROUGH IT, AT LEAST YOU’LL HAVE A BETTER IDEA OF WHO I AM. MOSTLY I’M A GUY WHO’S DESPERATELY IN LOVE WITH YOU.
FOREVER YOURS,
Thaddeus Livingston Calhoun III, aka Badger
P.S. I’LL BE IN OUR ROOM AT THE B AND B ON NEW YEAR’S EVE WITH A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE AND HOPE IN MY HEART.
Badger paced the confines of the room, which had seemed plenty big enough a week ago and had shrunk drastically since then. Mrs. Stanislowski had provided an ice bucket, ice and two champagne glasses. She’d also given him a hug and wished him luck. He surely could use it.
Writing the letter to Hayley had been a catharsis he’d needed for a long time. Going through his things at his childhood home in Buckhead would have been far more painful if he hadn’t written it. He’d walked out of that house with no regrets about the decision he’d made to leave Atlanta for good.
But if Hayley didn’t show up tonight…
He’d taken chances all his life. He’d driven too fast, partied too hard and flown the F-15 like a crazy person.
Yet he’d never feared the outcome of any risky move more than he did this one. He’d gutted himself in the letter, allowing her to see the good, the bad and the ugly. No one else, not even his parents or Ryker, knew all the things he’d put in there.
The clock downstairs had struck the half-hour about ten minutes ago. He’d left the door open so he could hear if someone started up the stairs. Every time it happened, he broke out in a sweat.
A small party was going on in the breakfast room and people were coming and going because of it. They would climb up the first flight, he’d hold his breath, and they’d proceed down the hallway while he sucked in air.
This was hell. What had he been thinking? But he’d put it in the letter and he had to follow through. Why hadn’t he just said call me at the bottom instead of setting up this stupid-ass dramatic meeting? Why hadn’t he—okay, another person was on the stairs.
By now he could count the steps. Nine, ten, eleven, twelve. Whoever it was, they’d reached the first landing. In a second, they’d walk down the hall and he could breathe again. But they didn’t walk down the hall. They started up the second flight.
Hayley? Or someone who’d had too much champagne and was lost? If it was Hayley, he didn’t want her to see him turning blue from lack of air.
Forcing himself to breathe, he lost count of the steps. Then he glanced around. If it was her, he should appear relaxed and casual. He pulled out one of the two chairs at the table and sat facing the door. Yeah, that was casual, all right, sitting bolt upright and staring at the…
Hayley appeared in the doorway. She looked just as scared as he was. Her parka was unzipped and she clutched her purse to her chest. She wasn’t wearing the ring.
He stood. Swallowed. Couldn’t come up with a single thing to say.
She took a shaky breath. “Happy New Year.”
“Same to you.” Brilliant, Calhoun.
“Thank you for the book. I love it.”
“Good. I’m glad.” His heart was beating way too fast.
She gazed at him in silence before taking another deep breath.
“Did you really pee in the fountain at your folks’ house?”
“Yes.” His voice sounded rusty. He cleared his throat. “You read my letter?”
“Every word.” She was shaking. “I read it three times.”
“Three?”
“Yes.” She clutched her purse tighter. “The first page, more than three. A bunch.”
“I meant what I wrote.” Now he was shaking, too. “I love you, Hayley.”
“I know.” She took a step forward. “Badger, I—”
“One letter isn’t enough. I’m aware of that.” He drifted a little closer. How he’d missed her sapphire blue eyes.
“About that letter.” She loosened her hold on her purse and it fell to the floor with a soft thud. “Ryker said it took you three days.” She was close, now, real close.
He breathed in the scent of her perfume. “I put in as much as I could because I’m hopin’ that someday, after we’ve spent more time together, you’ll begin to love me back.”
She flattened her palms against his chest. “Someday?” She didn’t look scared anymore.
The warmth of her hands after all this time gave him a jolt of such intense pleasure that he gasped. Did he dare hope? “Believe me, I’m not expectin’—”
Her sweet lips ended that sentence.
With a groan, he wrapped his arms around her, parka and all. Lord have mercy, he was kissing Hayley again. And even better, she was kissing him. Like she meant it. Like she wanted to keep on doing it.
But eventually she did ease away and the light in her eyes was breathtaking. “What if I already love you back?”
His ears buzzed as he stared at her in disbelief. Had
he heard that right?
“You’re amazing. You’re brave and funny and sweet and full of the devil, too.” Her warm gaze held his. “I love you, Thaddeus Livingston Calhoun the Third. I love you back.”
He gulped. “Well, hallelujah and pass the black-eyed peas.”
She laughed.
He did, too. Joy. So much joy. More than a body had a right to. But he’d take it and be forever grateful.
“There’s that grin I’ve been missing.”
“You missed my grin?”
“I’ve missed every single thing about you.” She wound her arms around his neck. “That’s one of the reasons I’m moving to Eagles Nest.”
“You are?” The happiness just kept piling up on him.
“I have a few things to work out, but I’ve made my decision. I don’t want to have to miss you anymore, Badger.”
“You won’t have to.” Lowering his head, he brushed her lips with his. “Not if I can help it.”
“And by the way, the ring’s in my purse.”
“Oh?” He lifted his head.
“I’m giving it back to you.” She said it with the sweetest smile.
“You don’t want it?”
“Oh, I do, but not yet. First we need to learn more about each other. And then, when the time is right, you can propose for real. Or maybe I’ll propose to you.”
“How will we know when the time is right?”
“That’s why we need to learn about each other. So we’ll know.”
“This is goin’ to be one excitin’ journey. I can’t wait to get started.” Leaning down, he touched his mouth to hers just as the folks downstairs began blowing horns and making noise.
She drew back and gazed up at him. “Happy New Year, Badger.”
“Happy New Year, darlin’.”
“It’s going to be a great year.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Oh, yeah, it would be the best ever. Hayley would be in it. With a sigh of pleasure, he claimed his first kiss of the New Year, the first of many, many more.
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A Cowboy's Christmas (The McGavin Brothers Book 6) Page 19