“Brooding? Me?” His accent tripped me up, and I smiled.
I pushed his plate two centimeters. “Eat.”
He lifted the sandwich and took a theatrical bite.
“Hey.” I squatted beside his chair. Emotion climbed my chest. “I’m sorry about Kirk earlier.”
“Right.” He set the sandwich down and wiped his mouth. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I think I give off a vibe. I set people on edge. Kirk’s right to be concerned. You were right to back away.”
I laughed. “Okay. So, who was the guy in the car today? Your dad?”
“Of sorts.”
Step dad? “My parents split this year, too.” The truth flooded out too quickly. I needed to slow down before I scared him back behind his wall.
“I’m sorry.”
I staunched the urge to ask more of him. What wasn’t to like about the argyle sweater guy? How long ago did his parents separate? Why? If I didn’t change the subject, I’d press for more answers.
“Justin’s having a bonfire Friday night.” I tossed the pseudo invitation into the air between us.
“I invited Tony and Adam,” Allison called across the deli. “You think Justin will mind?”
“Not as long as they don’t bring friends.”
Allison bobbed her head and pulled her phone out of her pocket, probably to clarify the “come alone” request with Adam via text. I’d forgotten his name until she mentioned it.
“The men who just left are going to Justin’s bonfire?” Liam asked.
“Looks like it.” I groaned, recalling Tony’s apparent approval of my legal adult status.
Allison looked up from her phone. “Those were the two new guys from Anatomy I told you about.”
“So they’re friends outside of school.”
“Yep.”
Liam stared at Allison. “They’re both new to your school?”
She nodded.
Seeing Liam at the computer reminded me of something. “At school you were looking up Greek Mythology. My mom was into mythology when I was young. I bet she can help you with your research.”
Liam stiffened, hands positioned over his sandwich without touching it.
I ran over my words, wondering what I’d said wrong. I could almost see him pulling away from me again.
“Norse.”
“I saw Zeus on the website. That’s Greek.”
“It was Oliver’s site. He dabbles in web design. And mythology.” His words were rushed. His expression became weary. “Your last name is Ingram, yes?”
“Yes.”
Liam’s face scrunched. “Has your family lived here long?”
“Since they were born, give or take a few years for college. Why?”
“No reason. Do you have any siblings?”
I cocked an eyebrow. “No.” What was he getting at?
“Crap,” Allison muttered.
The door swept open and Kirk wandered inside with Hannah hanging from his side like a drunken monkey.
“Can we get some coffee and a couple rolls to go?” Kirk leaned Hannah on the counter and pulled a wad of cash from his pocket, flicking bills over the counter.
“Gross,” Allison complained.
“What? It’s all money. It spends the same as yours.”
“Yeah, that’s definitely not what I was talking about.” Allison turned her back on the couple and grabbed rolls from the display case.
Everything about Kirk screamed douche bag. His cocky tone, smart-ass mouth, and stupid stance only served to punctuate the roiling cloud of attitude preceding him everywhere he went.
“I can’t believe I dated him.”
“Quite unfortunate.” Liam’s voice brimmed with regret.
I looked at Kirk’s pompous face. He pressed his drunken girlfriend against the counter with his hips. I turned to Liam’s sorrowful eyes and hated the sadness I didn’t understand in his voice. On instinct, I laid a hand over Liam’s.
“Things change.” I pressed my hand against his in a promise.
“They certainly do.” Liam turned the full power of his eyes on me. “Good to know his play was called out at second base.”
The smile on my lips probably tested the limits between super cheesy and plain crazy. For once, I was thankful for Kirk’s big mouth. I tamped down the goofy feelings. “Shut up. Plus, you get a bonus for the baseball reference. Very American.”
“He was wrong, you know, about no one else wanting you. I’ve yet to meet someone at your school who wouldn’t beg you for a date if they weren’t afraid of Kirk and his henchmen. The pair in here earlier would agree.”
“What?” I waited for the punch line. “No one’s ever paid any attention to me besides Kirk and Justin. Justin and I are friends and I dated Kirk since sophomore year.” Faces of guys in my senior class flashed through my mind. None had flirted with me or made me think for a second they were interested. Liam had been at my school for three days. He was confused.
“You made Justin your friend. I guarantee, given the chance, he’d be more. The others are intimidated by your ex, who, as you say, was your boyfriend for a long time. The ones afraid of him aren’t worth your trouble.”
“Justin’s not afraid of Kirk.”
“Neither am I.”
I weighed his words, searching for the meaning. My stomach ached with the weight of all he didn’t say. “What are you afraid of?”
“Things I can’t change. The fates.” His response seemed to cost him something grand, drifting into a whisper at the end.
“What’s this?” Kirk dragged Hannah’s clumsy body along with him. They stopped in front of me.
I stood. “Is there a night you don’t party?” I infused as much contempt as possible into the words. “Oh, wait, it’s Wednesday. That ends in a ‘y’ so, it is a party night for you then. Go on. Take your coffees and roll.”
“You need to stop acting like a forty-year-old nun, Callie. You’re like a fucking insurance commercial. Don’t do that. It’s dangerous. Don’t do that either. You might screw around and accidentally have a good time.” Kirk mimicked my voice. Poorly.
“Yeah,” Hannah slurred, eyes at half-mast. “You think you’re too special and pure to have friends anymore. We were friends once. Now look.” She motioned between us. I bit my lip against the obvious. She stole my boyfriend, a clear favor yes, but at the time it hurt like hell.
“Hey, I warned you, man.” Kirk spoke to Liam. “You’re wasting your time.”
“Agree to disagree.” Liam put his usual eff-off face to work.
I smiled.
Kirk busted out in faux laughter, releasing beer breath with a side of cigarette. “You two are doing it! You’re hooking up and poor Justin’s pining away. I gotta tell you, man. He’s going to be pissed.” Kirk spat the words in his final sentence with increasing venom and excitement. “I always thought he’d be the first to get it in. I’m a little disappointed in him.”
Tears brimmed in my eyes. The only thing that could make Kirk’s speech worse was if he’d used the school loudspeaker to make it, or if Justin was present. My gut curled into my backbone and tears spilled over both eyelids. Why did I let him get to me?
Liam stood.
“You aren’t a very quick study,” he spoke in an eerily calm voice. “Let me be clear. If you harass Callie again, I’ll make sure you miss plenty of your precious football practices, and not due to detention. If you talk about anyone, including yourself, especially yourself, touching her again, you’ll miss the rest of the season.”
A roll bounced off Kirk’s head.
“The fuck!” He spun in Allison’s direction, dragging Hannah along. “Did you hit me with something?”
Allison gritted her teeth so tight her cheeks went red. “Your order’s ready.” A set of Styrofoam cups with lids sat beside an open to-go bag in front of her.
Kirk stormed over to pick up his order. I braced myself, un
able to think past his hateful words. Stupid as it was, the fact I’d ever let him touch me made Kirk’s hate sting worse. I’d kissed him and let him hold me. I’d trusted him with my secrets. How could he be so cruel? What had happened?
“Don’t worry about him. The only one who hears a word he says is you. Even his friends don’t like him. They just don’t want to trade places with you,” Liam whispered against my cheek. “I meant what I said.”
“Everything all right out here?” Buddy approached Allison at the counter. She stared stubbornly back at Kirk.
“They’re on their way out.”
Kirk grabbed his order and threw the door open with a flourish. Hannah regained her wits enough to stumble after him.
“Is it cool to be a drunken whore where you’re from?” I swiped tears.
“A little.”
I couldn’t tell if he was joking, so I laughed.
“Was he right about you and Justin, do you think?” Liam didn’t hide his interest. This wasn’t small talk, or meant to distract me while I composed myself. He wanted to know.
“Justin and I are friends. In some ways, he’s my best friend.”
“Were the two of you ever intimate?”
“No. Not the way you mean. We’ve never been anything like that.” Regret pooled in my tummy.
“Have you ever wanted that with him?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. Things are complicated between Justin and me lately. Right now, we’re just friends. The best of friends.” Words didn’t do the relationship justice. He and I were so much more than friends. Our language needed better words.
“It’s supposed to start that way, isn’t it?” Liam stroked his thumb over my cheek, drying the path of another stupid tear.
“What is?” I sniffled, dotting my nose with a napkin from his tray.
“Love.”
“I guess. Yes.”
“I hate that jack off.” Allison picked the roll off the floor and smashed it on the table beside Liam’s keyboard.
Liam smiled. “You’ve got a good arm. You hit his head. He never saw it coming.”
“I’m a pitcher. Softball. Plus, his head’s a pretty big target.” Allison flopped into a chair. “How can you stand it? I’d kill myself if I had to put up with him every day.”
“She won’t anymore.” Liam’s voice drew her attention.
“No?”
“No. I’ve warned him twice now. He won’t want to cross me again.” Liam’s expression went blank.
“Uh.” Allison tugged me away. “We better count the drawers. Closing time’s almost here.”
I shook her off. “Give me another minute.”
Her expression warned me. She saw Liam like everyone else did. Intense. Cold. Maybe a little scary. I saw a guy from a divorced family, who’d lost his dad twice. Once when his folks split and again when he moved to a new country. I’d behave the same way, probably, if I was him.
“Thanks again for defending me.”
“Always.”
“See you tomorrow?”
“Yeah.” He took a couple more bites of his sandwich on the way to the trash. He dusted his palms and moved to the counter where Allison stood. “It was nice meeting you unofficially. I’m Liam.”
“Oh! Sorry.” I’d completely forgotten she didn’t know him.
“Allison.” She introduced herself. They shook hands. “Thanks for sticking up for my girl. She’s tough until it comes to Kirk and his fat mouth. Did she tell you they dated forever?”
“Yeah.” Liam smiled. “Gross.”
“Right!” She leaned over the counter. “She found him with Hannah’s face in his lap this Fourth of July. Fortunately she was on her way to dump him.”
Liam grimaced. “He and Hannah seem well-suited.”
Allison laughed again, warming up to Liam by the second. “Her buddy Justin’s having a party Friday.”
“I heard.” He winked at me.
I held my breath, certain I should’ve asked Justin before inviting Liam.
“Really?” Allison gave me a pointed look. “Well, you should come. Bring your brother.”
I laughed. Oliver would have his hands full if Allison got ahold of him. I expected he wouldn’t fight her off. No one did.
I made a face. “What about Tony and Adam? Don’t you already have a date for the bonfire?”
“I think Adam was only going so Tony could see you again.”
They looked at me.
“I don’t want to see him again,” I gasped. “He was fine, but he’s twenty and I’m….” I looked at Liam before sending my most pathetic look to Allison.
“I see.” She nodded. “I’ll cancel them if you can get Oliver to go with us.”
“I’ll ask Oliver,” Liam agreed. “Who will tell Justin you have a date?”
My lips parted, but no words escaped. Did he say a date? He was my date? What happened to friends? I suppressed the urge to clarify. Half the things Liam said left me confused and floundering mentally. I looked at Allison. She’d heard him too, right?
“Justin won’t care if I…” Allison stopped. “You don’t mean me.” She looked wistfully into my eyes. “He’s right. You need to confess your love for Justin or set him free. This could get messy.”
Justin and I weren’t a couple. He was perfect in every way and would make some lucky girl his queen. I was eight different kinds of stupid for not wanting him the way I thought he might want me, but lusting over him for the past few weeks had served to prove one thing. There was a big difference between love and lust. What I wanted to do with Justin was strictly the latter and it would hurt our friendship in the long term if I indulged the fantasy. I wouldn’t let that happen. I’d protect our friendship with my life.
Liam watched me with a pinch between his eyebrows. “You don’t have to decide right now.”
Allison laughed. “You’re going to give yourself a headache. Relax. I was just sayin’. He likes you likes you. You’re attached at the hip. He’s a guy. Either something’s going on between you or it will be. You guys need to have the talk. Talk to him Friday night. He said you’re staying over.”
“You’re sleeping there?” Liam pressed his palms against his hips.
“His parents are going out of town,” Allison interjected.
Liam’s eyebrows shot up. “And you do this often? I thought you and Justin were…” He exhaled loudly. “I don’t understand the dynamic.”
“She’s pretending to stay with me, but I think I might stay at Justin’s, too, so I won’t need to drive anywhere. I plan to have a good time. No curfew. No DUI. Winning.” She shot me a massive victorious smile.
Liam sighed and turned his face to mine. “You’re drinking too? Is this why you’re staying?”
“Yeah. I haven’t had more than one drink in my life. I had to be on guard against my boyfriend’s advances.” I snorted at the ridiculousness of the truth.
“Understandable.” Liam rubbed his face with both palms. “Okay. I’ll come. Tell Justin Oliver and I will be there. I won’t drink. If you need a designated driver, I’ll take you back to Allison’s. Tell Tony and Adam the party’s cancelled.”
Allison shrugged. I doubted she’d heard anything past the fact Oliver was going.
I, on the other hand, had a lot of explaining to do before Friday. Justin and I finally had to have the talk.
Chapter 7
I’d decided to talk with Justin at lunch. He’d never told me whether or not he thought of me as more than a friend, though he’d alluded to it more than once. I shook off the guilt pooling in my gut and strode toward my locker with purpose. My feet were heavier than my eyelids. Who knew how that was possible? I’d spent hours researching Norse runes and found dozens of various definitions for the one on Liam’s chest. If I didn’t need to talk with Justin, I would’ve feigned a virus and slept all day. Mom never doubted me or questioned a virus, but I wouldn’t risk the friendship Jus
tin and I had cultivated over years of skinned knees and shared pizzas for a few hours of sleep.
Even if I wasn’t falling out of control, sideways, over a cliff for Liam and his damned secrets, I wouldn’t have acted on my attraction to Justin. I’d rehashed this all night. This was the right thing for everyone. Romantic relationships ended friendships faster than any other force of nature. People never broke up and remained friends. There was no going back from there. Nature was a bitch like that.
“Hey.” I hurried when I saw him.
Justin leaned against my locker, one shoulder pressed to the metal. Both thumbs hooked into his belt loops.
“You look like you ran to school. No more rides from Allison, huh?”
“Right. She’s got her eyes on Oliver Hale. She’s probably still applying makeup in the bathroom. I’m old news.” I spun the dial on my lock and switched out the books I needed and the ones I’d taken home the night before.
“Here come our doppelgangers. The anti-us.” Justin narrowed his eyes as Kirk and Hannah walked past.
I gawked. “Life is so unfair. Look at her.” Hannah was a mess twelve hours before, but there she went, bright-eyed and dressed to impress. “She was smashed last night and she still looks better than I do when I’ve had sleep and spent an hour getting ready.”
Kirk didn’t look at us.
“I’m confused. Did they walk past without spewing evil?” Justin straightened, watching their figures disappear into the crowd. “I don’t understand. Am I asleep?” He looked at his body. “Nope. In my dreams I come to school naked.”
Now, that would be something worth showing up for.
Uh uh. No. No. I shut my locker and refocused. “Can we have lunch outside today?” Someplace with fewer witnesses in case the conversation becomes dicey.
“Ah. Can’t.” Justin looked at me with wide blue eyes. “I’m only here half a day today. I’m helping Dad get caught up with the horses and the barns before they leave tomorrow.” He pushed hair off my shoulder, invading the space even good friends kept. “When can I pick you up tomorrow?”
“Uhm. Well, I guess after dinner. I told my mom I’m meeting Allison at the party when she finishes her shift at Roll With It, then sleeping at her place. She might sleep at your place, too, if she’s drinking.”
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