My Heart is Yours

by Amanda Morey

  “I missed you.” He said.

  She grinned against his lips. “You saw me last night.”

  “I know.” He mumbled and kissed her again. He pulled her into his arms and she rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. He kissed the top of her head and shut his eyes. They stayed like that, holding each other close.

  “Hey! My eggs are gonna overcook!” John said.

  Sam rolled her eyes and sighed. Jason gave her a quick peck on the lips and wrapped his arms around her waist while she finished scrambling the eggs.

  “Could you two keep that crap to yourself?” Craig made a face.

  “Aww, get over it. They’re getting married. It’s not like they’re making out in front of you. You’re going to have to get used to it.” John said as he dipped a fork into the scrambled eggs and stole a bite. Sam whacked his hand with the clean edge of the spatula.

  “Alright. Let’s get back to planning.” Juliana sat down.

  ***

  They put the last of the money down on the kitchen table.

  “That’s what we have so far.” Sam said. “Are we even close?”

  “We need more. If we want a wedding and a house anyway.” Jason said.

  Sam put her chin on her hands and thought. All she wanted was to marry Jason and be together. That was all that mattered to her. How could they get both a wedding and a house with what they had? A vision popped into her mind. Yes. That was it. It was all they needed. Would Jason go for it?

  “Sam? What are you grinning about?” Jason tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

  “Listen. We want a church wedding, right?”

  “Yes we do.”

  “Okay. We’re doing that. But the reception doesn’t have to be big. If we can find someone to do it in someone’s backyard.”

  “No.” Jason said. “No. You deserve more.” He shook his head and his shaggy black hair fell into his eyes frantically.

  “More than what? More than you? I just want to be married and have a nice little place to live. A big huge reception isn’t what matters to me. I swear. I just want to be with you.”

  “Sam, babe.” He sighed.

  “Babe, nothing. Don’t ‘babe’ me. This is how we get what we want.”

  “You can do it in my yard.” Juliana stepped up behind Sam’s shoulder. “We have plenty of room. It’ll just be you guys, my family, and a few professors right? We can do this.”

  Sam turned to Jason, her eyes lit with sparks of hope and love. He saw those eyes; saw all she really wanted. And he knew it was right. “Alright.” He said. She threw herself into his jean jacket clad arms. Juliana squealed in the background. Sam left her head on Jason’s shoulder and inhaled. He still had the scent of cigarette on him. He wouldn’t be him without it though. As much as she’d love him to quit, she didn’t think he ever would. But she had what she wanted now. She didn’t need or want a big reception. All that she wanted was him.

  We finally have a location for the wedding. The wedding. I still have a hard time believing that. I’m getting married. I’m actually getting married. It’s still unbelievable to me. Maybe I’ll believe it when I’m actually married. I’m getting married to Jason. Jason; who I’ve known since I was six. I feel like I should be saying I never thought that I’d marry him, but I think that a part of me always thought that I would someday. Even with how shy we both were (still are) and people trying to keep us apart, part of me always knew that we’d end up together.

  Sam shut her journal with a smile, placed it on her nightstand and laid down, pulling the covers up over her before falling asleep with a smile on her face.

  “Ouch. Son of a…” Sam muttered as she stubbed her toe on the threshold to her bedroom door.

  “Sorry, honey.” Jason said. He led her over the shaggy off-white carpet. “Almost there.”

  “Almost where?”

  They stopped right in front of Sam’s twin sized bed. Gently Jason untied the blind fold and told her to turn around. She spun like a jewelry box ballerina to face her bed. A small gasp escaped her now parted lips.

  Jason had strewn the bed with pink rose petals. The pale pink had a cosmic effect against this set of white sheets. The Greek goddess Aphrodite came to mind. She could picture her watching them up amongst the stars. On the bed were several small wrapped gifts as well. They were all wrapped in paper with a pale silver sheen keeping up with the cosmic effect the room was already having on Sam. There were four packages total. Each one also had a pale pink ribbon tied carefully into a bow around it. Everything was so beautiful that for a moment the fact that Sam hated pink completely fled her mind. She wondered who had done the bows.

  “This is all for me?” Sam wondered aloud.

  “Of course. Open one, baby.” Jason grinned.

  After a minute of hesitation Sam reached for the largest package. Carefully and slowly she began to unwrap it. She didn’t want to rip the paper. It looked expensive and maybe they could use it again.

  After a minute the package finally popped out. It was a perfect square. It was a perfect shade of heavenly white and all over it were embossed designs of flowers covering it. It was also made to look like a ribbon was wrapped around it tied into a bow. On the front on bold white embossed letters it said “Our Wedding”. A photo album. It was a photo album for their wedding. Tear drops began to form at the corners of each of Sam’s eyes. Jason lifted the package out of Sam’s hands and placed a rectangular shape one in them.

  The unwrapping process began again. “Oh my goodness.” She managed to get out when she what it was. Held in her hands was the Selected Poems of Emily Dickinson. Her favorite poet ever since she read her poem “I’m nobody! Who are you?” in junior high school. Jason chuckled. “There’s more.”

  A much heavier square package was placed carefully in both of her hands. She held it carefully for a moment, light eyebrows drawn together and then unwrapped the heavy package. The wood on the box was light cherry. There was a glass cut out in the top so you could see into the top scene. It was a simple one of a ballerina wearing a pink leotard and tutu practicing at the bar but it was exquisite. When the top was lifted the little scene with the ballerina began to spin and “Vivaldi’s Four Seasons—The Spring Movement” began to play.

  “To put this in. But I hope you don’t take this off.” Jason said simply as he plopped the last little square package into her hand. This she could hold in one hand. It was wrapped tightly in the same beautiful paper. It took a little longer to unwrap than the others, but she still managed to save the paper. The inside of the paper was white and shiny. Jason’s dark eyes were glowing as he waited for her to lift the top on this last box. She couldn’t do it fast enough for him. He had waited forever for this moment.

  Before he got to do it though Sam froze. Staring at her in its gray square velvety box was a ring. The band was a simple single silver band. Coming out from the center stone on either side were two small round diamonds. Shining out from the center was a sapphire stone slightly larger than the four other stones. Speech and air vacated Sam’s lungs.

  Jason dropped to his knee. If it was possible, her breath left her even more. “Samantha Marie Ramsden, I love you. I love you so much. I’m not glad about what happened to you as a little girl, but I’m glad it brought us together. Let’s not be apart. Will you marry me?”

  The air came rushing back. “Yes!” she cried. “Yes, Jason Robert Channing, I will.” She whispered.

  He beamed even though he’d known the answer long ago. This was the moment he was hoping for. For a year he scrimped to put away $40 every month so that he’d have enough to get Sam this ring. Last month he finally had enough but he thought that he should wait until Christmas to give it to her. He slipped it on her finger. The dark sapphire stone stood out beautifully against her skin. She absolutely sparkled. The ring caught a glint in her matching dark blue eyes. His sapphire girl.

  She slid slowly into his arms and simply lingered. “Thank you.” She whispered. “
Thank you so much.” She knew not to tell him he’d done too much; this was not the time.

  “Merry Christmas, baby.” He whispered back.

  ***

  Sam groaned as her hair flopped onto the kitchen table in front of her. “Can we take a break?” Her voice sounded flat. They had been at this for hours. Maybe not hours, but it felt like it. Those damn magazines out on their kitchen table, surrounded by pages upon pages of notes made by Juliana. There was not a square inch of wood in sight.

  “No.” Juliana shot back. “Stop pouting. This stuff won’t magically do itself.”

  Sam heaved an exaggerated sigh.

  “Shut up.” Juliana said, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

  It wasn’t that Sam didn’t want to marry Jason. That would be the most ludicrous idea on the planet. But this was not her thing. She was raised a tomboy. She just wasn’t into looking at masses of stuff that could only be described as “frilly” and “girly” for non-stop periods of time.

  Jason grinned at his bride-to-be over his cup of coffee. He knew this wouldn’t go over well with her. An entire day of only wedding planning? But he knew she’d get into it. She may doubt that, but he didn’t.

  “What are you grinning at?” Sam asked.

  “You.” He said softly.

  She blushed. “Oh, that you can handle but not wedding planning?” Juliana said. Sam stuck her tongue out at her. “Very bride like.” Juliana nodded. “Moving on. Who is going to be your maid of honor?”

  Sam blinked. Is she serious?

  “Really? What kind of question is that?” Sam asked.

  “A necessary one.”

  “Jules, you know it’s going to be you.”

  “I know.” She smiled, checking something off of a list she held in her hand written on a white legal pad.

  “What’s next, Doc?” Sam asked.

  “Jason’s best man.”

  The kitchen light felt too hot on him now. Like a spotlight. How was he going to choose?

  “We can give him more time on that.” Sam jumped in.

  Juliana met her eyes for a moment and nodded. She knew this wouldn’t be easy for him. “No problem. Plenty more to talk about. Okay, let’s go on to flowers. Your bouquet. What would you like?”

  Sam’s favorite flower was lilies, but she knew that they couldn’t afford them so she didn’t bring it up. She furrowed her brow. This would require some thinking. What were flowers she liked that they could afford?

  “Well, the wedding is in January. So it’s smack in the middle of winter. What are wintery flowers?” Juliana said.

  Sam scrunched up her nose. “I don’t really want wintery flowers.” She said.

  “Alright.” Juliana said slowly. Sam thought a minute longer.

  “Oh!” She blurted out. “What are those daisies that come in light pinks and oranges and yellows?”

  “From the grocery store?” Juliana asked.

  Sam ignored her statement. “Gerber daisies! Those! We could do those with regular white daisies scattered throughout it. It’ll be summery and cheery in the middle of winter. It’ll put a smile on my face anyway.” Also because we can afford them, she thought.

  “Then it puts a smile on mine too.” Jason said. He waved a hand at Juliana’s note pad. “Go on, write it down.” He told her.

  Sam laughed at Juliana’s raised eyebrows as she wrote down what they’d decided. Jason didn’t usually talk to people like that. It was funny to see him letting go a little.

  “Okay. Bouquet is done. Do you want Gerber Daisies on the tables at the reception as the center pieces?”

  Sam and Jason’s shoulders went slowly up and down. They hadn’t thought about center pieces. Juliana rolled her eyes and began to move on.

  “Wait.” Sam said. “Why don’t we just do pictures of the two of us together? With the table numbers on them? We could keep it simple.” Sam said.

  Jason would agree to anything that Sam thought was best. The center pieces were done. Except for making them.

  “I need the guest list. A list of who you want as bridesmaids, Sam. Jason, who you want as your groomsmen. Who you want as your best man. We need to talk about the food.” She paused. “And the wedding dress.”

  The wedding dress. Where would they get a wedding dress?

  “How’s the wedding planning going?” Craig walked into the kitchen. He was met with silence. “What’s wrong?”

  “We’re just thinking about the wedding dress.” Juliana said.

  “Why don’t you just wear mom’s?” Craig said as he took a bite of an apple he’d grabbed from the green bowl on the kitchen counter.

  ‘What? We have mom’s?” Sam asked.

  “Yeah. It’s up in the attic. I’ll bring it down and you try it on.” He turned on his heel and left.

  Sam spun around in front of the mirror in her room. The skirt flew out around her. It was a light tulle material. The dress was pure white. The flowing skirt went a few inches below her knees. The top part of the dress had a spaghetti strap of a satin material with a lace long-sleeved top over it. It truly was beautiful; pure timeless beauty. Sam felt it was missing something though. Something around her waist. She really wanted a pop of color to match her bouquet. Should she feel guilty for wanting to add that since the dress was once her mother’s?

  A bang resounded on the door. “Come in.” She called as she stared at the dress in the mirror.

  “You look beautiful.” Craig said.

  Sam shuffled her feet. “What’s wrong?” Juliana asked. Jason wasn’t with them; he couldn’t see the bride in her wedding dress.

  “The dress is amazing. I just would like to add a ribbon around my waist?” She worded it as a question.

  The room burst into laughter. Laughter.

  “Aw Sam, that’s what you’re worried about?” Craig said.

  “Yes.” She said. “This was mom’s dress at one point. Do I have the right to change it?”

  Craig’s icy blue eyes softened. “Sammie.” He said, using his childhood nickname for her. “You’re hardly changing a thing. And I know mom wouldn’t mind. She’s so happy for you. Adding a ribbon won’t change that.” He threw an arm around her and pulled her to him, messing up her hair.

  “The ribbon’s fine?” Sam asked.

  “The ribbon’s fine.” Juliana (the final voice on these matters) confirmed.

  Sam smiled as Craig kissed the top of her head and then messed up her hair again. “Alright.” Juliana said. “Let’s let her take off that dress before something happens. We’ll pick out the ribbon color later. To match your bouquet, yes?”

  ***

  The girls were gathered in Juliana’s gigantic house. It stood, almost loomed, over a wide green lawn. The house was white and there was a wraparound porch. It was a classic Southern plantation house. Juliana’s father had the new on in the background. Sam wasn’t there, but the girls still used hushed voices. Sam just walked into Juliana’s house the same way Juliana walked into hers.

  “Okay.” Juliana whispered as if they were secret agents planning a mission.

  The few girls who were gathered stared at her eagerly. The time had come. Her maid of honor duties.

  “The bridal shower.” She revealed their secret mission (though they all knew it). The girls beamed. Juliana began doling out tasks.

  “I can’t cook. Christina, you’ll do food?”

  Christina nodded quickly. She loved to cook.

  “We’ll have it here?” Juliana asked as she looked as she looked around at the girls. Everyone agreed easily.

  “The guest list is done. It’s just us. What other girls is Sam friends with?” They all laughed. It was true. Juliana, Christina, Trisha, and Linda were really Sam’s only female friends. They had all met her through Juliana. The girls would bring their mothers, though.

  “Alright. I think that’s it.” Juliana announced with an elaborate flourish.

  “Why are we rushing? We’re just going to your house.” Sam said as
Juliana dragged her down the sparkling sidewalk.

  “My mom’s waiting with dinner. It’s getting cold. Come on.”

  They opened the light oak door with the golden rimmed window and old door knocker to darkness.

  “Surprise!” The girls and their mothers jumped out from behind the pristine white sofa. They were all sporting solid colored dresses corresponding to the color theme of Sam’s wedding. Pinks, oranges, reds, whites.

  “What is this?” Sam exclaimed with a smile.

  She was bombarded with hugs and kisses. Everyone was congratulating her and talking at once. “Your bridal shower!” Juliana said over the commotion.

  Sam couldn’t believe she forgot about a bridal shower. She didn’t expect one at all. The chatter died down and everyone moved into the dining room to see what Christina had prepared. Sam was very open about food. The other girls weren’t. So the menu was mostly “normal stuff”, but there was a little something “different” there for Sam. The spread included deviled eggs, mini spinach and feta quiche, spinach and artichoke dip, mini cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches, and for Sam, Asian garlic and soy flavored chicken wings with scallion soy dipping sauce.

  The girls chatted and devoured the menu. “The food was delicious. You’re an amazing cook, Christina. You’ll have to give me your recipes. Especially that Asian wing one.” Sam said as she took another bite of chicken.

  “You got it.” She smiled.

  Games such as “Purse Scavenger Hunt”, “How Well Do You Know the Bride”, and “How Well Do You Know the Couple” followed. “Gifts!” Trisha squealed. Everyone shuffled over to the couch. Sam sat in the arm chair in the living room to take center stage. Juliana pulled out a paper plate.

  “What’s that?” Sam asked.

  “We staple all the ribbons to it and you use a ribbon to tie it on your head. It’s a bridal shower tradition.” Juliana said as she taped on the first bow. A sparkly white one. Sam obliged. It might be fun.