by Amanda Morey
Sam only had a few girlfriends so the gift session would be brief, but that didn’t matter to her.
“Here.” Juliana said. “Open mine first.” She pushed a large pink flowered bag with a hot pink bow in front of Sam. Sam knew that some of the gerber daisies in her bouquet would probably be pink but the amount of pink here seemed like overkill. She glanced up at Juliana with raised eyebrows.
“What?” Juliana shrugged. “Too much pink?”
“Smart ass.” Sam muttered, but the grin was clear on her radiant face. Juliana grinned back and winked as she leaned forward, her red hair falling over her shoulders.
Sam took off the ribbon and handed it to Juliana. Rifling inside she found a card. The front was muted pink and there was a bride and groom staring into each other’s eyes. Tearing the matching hot pink paper she gasped aloud. “It’s the blender I wanted!”
“I know!” Juliana said. “There’s one more thing.”
Sam dug in the bag and pulled out the second part of her gift. Her eyebrows rose. It was a floor length sheer red nightgown with black lace trim and black satin spaghetti straps with a little black bow in the middle.
“More for Jason than for you.” Juliana winked. Sam’s face turned red.
Trisha pushed a small orange bag in front of her. Sam revealed another nightgown. This one was white lace. The gift from Christina was her favorite cookbook that Sam had also been eyeing, The Joy of Cooking. Linda gave her a black lace nightgown and a gift card to a kitchen store. The last one from Sarah was another cookbook, a gift card to a home store and a sheer blue, black lace trimmed floor length nightgown.
“Lots of nighties.” Sarah said.
“And cooking stuff.” Christina pointed out.
“Wonder what that says about us.” Trisha said.
“We like food.” Sam suggested.
“And somethin’ else.” Juliana muttered with a grin.
***
She stood in the wedding dress. The muted orange ribbon was tied into a bow that flowed down her waist. Only this time it wasn’t to try on. This was for real. The day they had so long awaited had finally arrived. Friday, January 12, 1969. The ceremony was being held at their local church. Everyone in town knew of it. And everyone in town knew Pastor Daniel. He had known Sam and Jason most of their lives.
Sam stared at herself in the full length mirror she’d gotten one Christmas when she was fourteen. The reflection looked so much different standing there in a wedding dress. Who knew she’d be in her wedding dress six and a half years later? She spun and a mess of satin and tulle spun out around her. She wished her father were here to see her. He’d never believe she was so dressed up if he didn’t see it for himself. She realized he’d be seeing her in the dress her mother was in when they got married. A tennis ball seemed to lodge itself in her throat. She wanted them to be here so badly it was making it hard to stand. Her make up almost began to run. She pulled herself together just as the knock on the door came.
Craig walked in clad in his rented tuxedo. His hair was slicked back a bit with gel. Those icy blue eyes stood out even more. They glowed with warmth. “Beautiful.” He said. The corners of Sam’s mouth turned quickly. “Are you ready?” She nodded. “Let’s get going.”
They made sure they were extra careful on their way to the car. This wasn’t just Sam’s wedding dress; it was her mother’s as well. As she slid her white cowgirl boot clad foot into the car Craig leaned over and whispered “If I give you a kiss on the forehead will I mess up your makeup?” She smiled at this out of character question. “No, just be gentle. And don’t ruffle my hair.” She added. Her hair was half up and set in perfect curls. Craig leaned down and gentle as a dandelion brushed his lips against her forehead. Then he slid into the driver’s seat and Sam, her brothers and Juliana headed to the church.
The petite stone building stood on a dead end street five minutes from their house. Their parents had taken them there and they continued to go after they passed away. The building was simple with one large stained glass window in the front. Inside awaiting their arrival were Sam’s bridesmaids, the rest of the guys, a few of Sam’s professors from her past classes, Juliana’s family and Jason— her soon to be husband.
Juliana got out of the car first to go in and make sure the groom wasn’t coming out. She rushed back outside in her sunset orange dress that matched Sam’s ribbon around her waist. “Coast is clear.” She said. They scurried into the back of the church to wait for the classic wedding march to begin. They lined up in order: the bridal party with Sam and Craig behind them. He hooked his arm around hers to walk her down that aisle.
“Ready?” He asked.
“Let’s go.” She said just as the wedding march began to drown out her words. The procession of bridesmaids seemed to slide like snails until it was time for the bride to walk. Sam stepped over the threshold to the church door into a new chapter of life. Her cowgirl boots had to be reminded a few times to slow down. Once she saw Jason, she only wanted to get to him. Her feet finally carried her to the church altar.
“Who gives this woman to this man?” Pastor Daniel asked.
“Her brothers and I do.” Craig answered.
Sam stepped forward but she fell back where she was. Craig hadn’t moved. “Craig.” Sam whispered. “Let go.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
A hushed giggle filled the room. Jason came forward and they went to the altar. Pastor Daniel launched into his sermon about how he had known Jason and Sam most of their lives. How he had seen their love and affection for each other and he knew this was meant to be. He ended with a bible quote. Corinthians 13:4—8a.
As they slipped the rings onto each other’s fingers their eyes stayed locked. Light blue into dark brown. Eyes holding dark pasts. No matter how dark their pasts were, they would build a brighter future together.
“You may kiss the bride.”
Timid Jason surprised everyone by dipping Sam and planting a passionate kiss on her lips. Out of breath they broke apart from the kiss, beaming.
“I now present Mr. and Mrs. Jason Channing!” Pastor Dave announced.
Still beaming they nearly skipped down the aisle. The wedding march playing in the background as daisy petals flew down around them.
Juliana’s lush backyard easily fit the entire guest list. Round tables with white table cloths and folding chairs had been set up. As discussed, pictures of Sam and Jason were the center pieces. From inside the kitchen, Juliana’s mom Catherine called, “Okay. Everyone quiet please. It’s time for Jason and Sam’s first dance as husband and wife.” She turned on the record player and the sounds of “Earth Angel” floated out into the yard.
Stepping into Jason’s arms Sam felt an overwhelming sense of right come over her. She knew this man was meant to be her husband. They were meant to always be together. “You look beautiful.” Jason whispered in her ear.
“I love you.” She whispered back.
“I love you too, Mrs. Channing.” He smiled and winked at her.
Her brothers stood by and smiled. Matt gave them a thumb’s up. Jason had chosen him to be his best man. They were always the closest.
The crowd clapped as the song came to an end. Another slow song began to play.
“May I cut in?” John bowed, his shiny hair falling perfectly over his face.
Sam laughed and smoothly went into his arms.
“You know, I’ve wanted to have this dance with you for a long time.” John said.
“You have?” Sam asked. She tilted her head and her pale blonde curls fell into her eyes.
“Hell, yeah. You and Jason are meant for each other. And I just have to dance with you at your wedding. Besides, if anyone will make it you and Jason will.” John planted a gentle kiss on Sam’s forehead just as the song ended. John bowed again and said, “She’s all yours.” Jason didn’t waste a second. He pulled Sam into his arms and they danced the night away.
***
The house was a modest white one story
about ten minutes from Sam’s brothers. They had been there a month and it was beginning to look like their own. Pictures of Sam and Jason’s wedding had been hung on the walls and the wedding album Jason gave her last Christmas sat on the coffee table that they had picked up from a yard sale. It had a few scratches in it but it was cherry wood, Sam’s favorite. Photos of their makeshift family filled the walls as well. Sam took care of the kitchen. Like her friend Christina, she had an affinity for cooking. She loved to cook. It was one of the things that soothed her. They had gotten some basic pots and pans and kitchen supplies so her kitchen was stocked well enough for now. The color scheme was white and a green close to sea foam. Tonight for dinner she was making breaded and fried chicken breasts with homemade buttermilk mashed potatoes and roast broccoli. She set their plates down on the hand-me-down white kitchen table from Juliana’s mom.
“Mmmm, this is really good, babe.” Jason said through a mouthful of potatoes. Sam grinned.
“Thanks hon.” Sam scooped some mashed potatoes onto her fork.
“You don’t always have to cook.” Jason reminded her for the tenth time.
“You know I like to cook. I don’t mind. And it’s not like you know how to cook.” She teased.
“I could learn. You could teach me.” Jason winked at her over his plate.
“Alrighty then, let’s do that.” Sam challenged.
Jason smiled. “I have to go by my dad’s tomorrow.” He said suddenly; like he was ripping off a band aid.
“What? Why?” Sam said as if Jason had just said he had to go swimming in a sea of sludge tomorrow.
“I have a lock box with some extra money hidden under my old bed. Everything happened so fast and I haven’t been back since the wedding. We need that money.” He said sternly. Sam frowned.
“I’m gonna go when I know he’s out. I still have my key, which I’m leaving there tomorrow. My home is here with you.” Jason’s face betrayed no more pain like it had in the past at the mention of his father, there was only anger now.
The sun was high in the sky as they walked to Jason’s old home. Sam had insisted on going with him. Jason unlocked the white door, more paint peeling off onto the ground. Inside was dark and clothes were scattered everywhere. The couch, the coffee table, the kitchen counter. They could smell old food in the fridge. Jason grabbed Sam’s hand and they walked up the creaky stairs to Jason’s old room. The walls were white and stained. All that stood in that room was a twin bed and an old wooden dresser. The contents of which was now at their house.
“Where is it again?” Sam asked as she glanced around. She’d probably only been in here six times since the Ramsdens adopted her.
Jason pulled a steel colored lock box out from under the bed. “Right here.” He said as he lifted it up. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” He left his key on his old dresser.
Right outside the front door they heard a deep, booming, drunk laugh. They froze. Jason’s father.
He had black hair, tan skin and dark eyes like Jason. But the similarities stopped there. Jason’s dark brown eyes were warm, like the melted chocolate in a chocolate chip cookie just out of the oven. His father’s were flat, lifeless and cold. Like the bark on a dead tree in winter. “Hey!” He boomed. “Where the hell you been, boy? What the hell you doing back here?”
Jason kept a tight grip on Sam’s hand as they turned to face him. He took in the young woman standing in front of him and was too drunk to remember he had known her for seventeen years.
“Who the hell’s this chick with you?” He said.
Jason coolly replied, “My wife.” His face was a stone chiseled mask.
“Your what?” His father spat. Spit actually flew out of his mouth.
“Sam Ramsden. Now she’s Sam Channing. You’ve known her for seventeen years. We got married a month ago. She’s your daughter-in-law.”
“Huh.” He said, as if they were talking about the weather.
“’Huh?’ Your son gets married and that’s all you have to say?”
Something in his father’s eyes shifted and he said, “You’re not going anywhere. You’ll stay here.”
“The hell I will.” Jason answered.
Sam peeked at Jason through her hair.
“What’d you say, boy?”
“The hell I will. I’m gone. I want nothing to do with you. We’re happy now. You’re nothing but a worthless, dead beat, drunk waste of space. I hate you. You’re pathetic. And I’m done. Screw you, you bastard.”
Before she saw it she heard it. A fist slamming into someone’s jaw. Jason slammed his fist right back into his father’s jaw.
“Stop! Please! Stop!” Sam yelled. A chilly gust of wind blew her hair.
Jason’s father looked up. “Stay out of this bitch!” More spit flew from his mouth. The smell of beer was in the air.
“What did you call her?” Jason yelled. Rage coursed through his body and he had his dad down on the ground, the fists coming one after the other faster than Sam could keep track of.
On some level, she knew Jason needed this. His father had beaten him for years. So she let him keep his father down and throw those punches.
Finally, she touched his shoulder. “Jason. Jason.” She said gently. He looked up at her and then down at his father. Black eyes, nose bleeding. Drunk. He got up and took Sam’s hand. They walked back to their house. Leaving his father on the ground and out of their lives.
***
Sam stared at the doctor in front of her. She could not bring herself to believe what he just told her.
She shook her head. “No, I can’t be pregnant.” She stared at the sterile white walls surrounding her.
“Have you and your husband had sexual relations recently?” The doctor asked as he glanced at his clipboard.
“Yes.” She stammered.
“Then you absolutely can be.”
Sam walked home, staring out at the street. The images blurred before her eyes. When she looked up the front door that she stood at was not hers, it belonged to her brothers. She hesitated a moment before turning the gold painted doorknob.
“Hello?” A deep, velvet smooth voice called.
“John?” Sam called.
“Hey. What are you doing here, Sammie?” John’s brow furrowed when he saw her face. “Are you okay?”
She inhaled deeply and exhaled for almost ten seconds. “I don’t know.” She finally said.
“What’s wrong?” He put down his bag on the soft carpet and removed his baseball cap.
They sat on the worn brown couch together. Sam didn’t know how to say what she had to say. “I’m pregnant.” She said quietly. Directness seemed the best approach.
John’s eyebrows lifted into his hair. “What? You’re pregnant? Does Jason know?”
“No. I just found out half an hour ago. I . . . well I missed my period and thought it was nothing but I guess I was wrong. I’m two weeks along.”
John made a face at the word ‘period’.
“What are we going to do, John? What will Jason say?” Sam finally turned toward him.
“He’ll be thrilled.” John said. “You two can raise this baby. You can do it.” He nudged her shoulder.
Sam wasn’t sure she believed his enthusiasm. It seemed much too easy to get that out of him. She dropped her head in her hands. “I don’t know.” She mumbled into her palms.
“When are you going to tell Jason?” John asked as he rubbed her back.
She snorted. “Never.”
“Sam.” He cocked his head to the side and gave her his best responsible-older-brother-look.
“Today.” She said grudgingly.
At dinner that night Jason noticed Sam fidgeting with her silverware. The homemade beef stew sat on the table; it was largely untouched by Sam.
“Sam, what is it? Something wrong, baby?” Jason put down his own spoon and reached over the table to hold her hand. They always sat next to each other; never across from each other.
“I don’t
know.” She answered honestly.
Jason gently grasped her hand and pulled her onto his lap. “Tell me.” He said as he caressed her cheek.
“Okay.” She held her breath for a moment. “I’m pregnant. Two weeks along. How do you feel about that?” Direct again. To the point.
Jason’s dark eyes looked blank for a moment. It was like he couldn’t comprehend what Sam had just told him. Then they lit up so much that Sam could swear there were diamonds in them starting out at her.
“We’re having a baby?” He said with a Cheshire cat sized grin. “I’m going to be a Daddy?” His face lit up even more at the word ‘daddy’.
“Yeah.” Sam trailed. “You’re happy about this? You’re not upset?”
“No!” He jumped up, then put a hand on Sam’s waist to keep her from falling.
“I want to have a baby with you, Sam. I love you.” He said quietly.
“You think we can do this?” She asked him slowly.
“Yes, I do. Are you upset? Do you not want a baby yet?” Jason asked her as his eyebrows furrowed together.
“Of course I do.” Sam said as she rubbed her pregnant stomach. “I didn’t know if you wanted one right now…”
“I do Sam, I really do.” He planted a tender kiss on her forehead.
“I told John first.” Sam confessed. Jason’s eyebrows pulled together quizzically. “I’m sorry.” She continued. “I ended up at their house somehow right after my doctor’s appointment. John was there. I spilled everything to him.”
Jason stopped her with a laugh. “Baby, it’s okay. Tell me how you knew.”
“Well, I missed my period. I went to this appointment that I told you about and they told me I’m pregnant.” She shrugged. “I told you it was just a regular checkup.”
Jason laughed again, pulled her into his arms and held her tight.
Sam breathed in his scent and sighed in content. “Mmmmm. Oh hey, I love you too.” She grinned.
***