by Sarah Tork
“They’re bringing it up right now, right in front of me and Eugene.” Xander said.
“What did they give you,” I asked.
They didn’t answer, instead all of a sudden I felt steam fall from the ceiling. It smelt like strawberries again.
“Shit, that steam thing is coming over us again. We’re going to smell like strawberries when we leave here.” I said, flabbergasted, waving my hand through open dark space, feeling the warm steam swim around my body.
It could be worse. Smelling like strawberries wasn’t the worst thing in the world to smell like. I’d smell nice and fruity.
“Hey, this is fun!” I exclaimed like a little kid would.
“I’m glad you think so.” Xander breathed. “We’re just about to enjoy our appetizers. We’ll be done really quickly.”
“Okay,” I said, warily. “You can take your time you know, don’t rush on my account I can wait, it’s not a problem.”
“Oh no Marisa, we wouldn’t want you to wait because we couldn’t be quick enough. Don’t worry darling, we’ll be quick with our time.” Eugene assured.
“You see, there’s no problem Marisa.” Xander added.
“Okay,” I said, warily again. These guys were making me feel weird. What was going on? How could two men make eating appetizers feel so sketchy?
All of a sudden the sound of something opening and closing took over from the loud hydraulics. The sound stopped, the hydraulics stopped and the table stopped shaking. It’s so dark in here I couldn’t see anything, but thankfully a few seconds later a small light dimmed on from behind Eugene. It got brighter by the second, showcasing shadows of trees and monkey’s.
What the fuck!
“What the fuck is that?” I screeched staring at the shadow version of a jungle, displayed all over the wall. “Where are they projecting that from?”
“It’s part of the package,” Xander explained. “Now hush, it’s about to begin. Right Eugene?”
“Oh yes, it is beginning.” Eugene breathed.
Huh?
Why’d he answer like that? Like he was almost out of breath? I couldn’t see what was actually going on, the only thing any of us could see were the shadows on the walls.
All of a sudden classical music began playing, opera.
“Hey I know who this is….that famous opera guy. His name starts with a ‘P’.” I said, swaying my body to the music.
“You mean Pavarotti?” Xander panted.
“Yes! That’s the guy’s name!” I exclaimed happily and then turned towards him, perplexed. Why’d he answer like he was out of breath again? We were sitting, last I checked, you didn’t lose your breath while sitting.
“Isn’t this your favourite song by Pavarotti, Alexander?” Eugene stammered over the rising volume. Pavarotti began singing, filling every inch of the room.
“That it is Eugene, I could listen to Pavarotti all day and night.” Xander answered, again breathily. You’d think they were running in a race by the way they sounded.
What the fuck? What’s going on with these guys? And why was the music gradually getting louder. We couldn’t talk normally with the music on this loud.
“Is there a remote in here?” I yelled over the loud instrumentals.
Nobody answered, which was odd. I stretched my arm out hoping to feel Xander’s shoulder. When my hand felt his shoulder, it shook as if he was laughing hysterically, but I heard no laughing.
“What’s going on in here? Xander why are you shaking?” I yelled over the music.
This time Xander bursts out laughing. “I’m shaking because I’m laughing Marisa, geez, can’t a guy enjoy his appetizer without disturbance?”
“An excellent appetizer by the way!” Eugene exclaimed loudly, his voice slightly vibrating.
I eyed the dark space where they were sitting warily, something really wasn’t right. “This isn’t fair, you guys get to eat appetizers first, you’re clearly enjoying it, and I’m fucking starving.” I yelled, exasperated, even though I told them to take their time.
“Soon!” Xander answered.
“Yes, very soon!” Eugene answered right after.
“Soon what?” I yelled, confused as hell.
“Yummy!” Xander yelled.
“Yes….delicious!” Eugene followed.
I cringed at the sound of their voices. If I didn’t find out what was going on, things were going to get physical.
All of a sudden the music turned off, and the sound system started playing loud jungle music. I was talking the sound of drums, leaves rustling, monkey’s and elephants screaming.
“It’s like we’re at the Rain Forest Café!” I exclaimed loudly.
“Except this isn’t a family restaurant.” Xander chuckled, not out of breath.
“No, it is not.” Eugene snickered.
The jungle music stopped and RnB music began playing.
“Okay….” I said, warily. “Interesting choice of music they have here.”
“I kind of like it.” Xander said.
“Yes, it’s soothing, especially after our appetizers.” Eugene said. The sound of hydraulics took over our ears again.
“They’re taking your bowls away?” I asked in Xander’s direction.
“Yes, they are being taken back downstairs.” Xander answered. “That was good.”
Eugene sighed, sounding content. “Yes, it was as you described it to be Alexander, I’ll never doubt you again.”
“Trust that you don’t brother, I always tell the truth.” Xander chuckled.
I snorted. “Pulease! You don’t tell the truth all the time. You’re a natural born liar!”
Eugene bursts out laughing. “Oh Alexander, she really is a firecracker!”
“Didn’t I tell you Eugene.” Xander laughed.
“Whatever,” I snarled. “Anyways, what the fuck did you guys end up eating?”
“Chicken noodle soup.” Xander answered and my jaw dropped.
What a crock of shit!
“I like chicken noodle soup! How come you said I wouldn’t like your appetizer? This is bullshit! Why would you think I wouldn’t like chicken noodle soup?” I yelled, exasperated.
Eugene bursts out laughing again. “She’s got you there Alexander, care to explain to your trusted little sidekick why she was denied one of the most delicious appetizers I’ve ever had in my life.”
Xander exhaled loudly. “As always Eugene, not one to make the problem go away but enforce it to a point where I see nowhere else to turn.”
“Speak English!” I ordered them. “Fucking hell, you guys are weird!”
Both of them laughed again.
Not the response I expected. But hey, at least I knew now I could shout as many curse words as possible without getting them angry.
Win – win?
I think so!
As well as speaking in third person, this bitch likes to swear, a lot.
The sound of hydraulics took over the room again, blaring over the music easily. This time however, since I knew what the sounds meant, I was jumping with joy.
“Fuck yeah! Our meals are coming, right?” I yelled over the noise towards Xander.
“They are,” Xander yelled back. “You’ll know what you’re eating with the first bite.”
“It better not be anything nasty or else, I’m warning you guys now, I may puke.” I warned them.
Eugene bursts out laughing again. “Oh my word, she’s hilarious, my stomach is in turmoil from all the laughter, Alexander bring her around more often.”
“That’s the plan.” Xander chuckled.
I snorted. “I’m not your guys’ entertainment!”
“Correction, you’re my entertainment, and since Eugene and I work together, I’m sharing.” Xander explained.
“Is that all you guys share? Things just got a little more interesting.” I sneered.
“What did you mean by that?” Eugene asked seriously. “Alexander, what did she mean by that?”
Okay
, what just happened? This guy just got all serious.
“Oh nothing Eugene, she meant nothing by it.” Xander explained, laughing him off. “She was referring to our meals, weren’t you Marisa?”
There was only one answer to that question, the way Xander was hinting in his voice.
“Of course, sharing food, sharing is caring.” I answered, unsure if everything would be all right again with that answer.
Eugene bursts out laughing again. “Well, I’m not sharing my meal, I’m famished!”
I slumped into my seat, sighing in relief that I dodged that bullet. Who would have thought, this guy, who’ve I’ve been swearing left and right around, would get all bent out of shape over a little comment about sharing.
I was just joking…sort of.
I mean, he had a wife (his Celeste), so obviously it’s nothing sexual.
Or was it?
Who knew what they have planned after words? All I knew was, if it was anything dirty or nasty or involving fondling genitals, I wasn’t in. Whether I owed Xander or not, there was a line and I wasn’t going to cross it.
Good thing we’re at a restaurant, they couldn’t do any sexual shit here. Adding to that, we were in a confined space, and we had to eat in the dark.
I was good for now.
The sound of hydraulics stopped and I felt the table vibrate.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Xander said. “Dig in.”
“It’s here?” I asked, licking my lips. I was so hungry.
“Delicious, Alexander, you didn’t say that they served ‘Petit poulet du poivre noir, avec trois pomme de terre’. The last time I ate this was at this tiny bistro in Old Montreal. My mouth is watering from the smell.” Eugene exclaimed.
“What, you got black pepper chicken and three potatoes in the white plate special?” I asked in Xander’s direction.
“Yes, it’s a specialty here, on old French classic.” Xander explained. “Enough talking, I’m famished. Dig in Marisa.”
“I want fucking chicken and potatoes too!” I groaned. “I’m scared, what if I got something nasty?”
“I doubt that.” Xander said.
I leaned over my area on the table, looking down in the dark at the spot where there was supposed to be food. I reached down with one finger and it collided into a soft circular surface.
“Bread!” I screeched. I patted the top and then traveled around it. I bend over the plate and took a giant whiff. A meaty smell overtook me, making me happy. “It’s a fucking hamburger!”
I patted the rest of the plate and sure enough, there were chunky fries resting beside it. “And fries!”
“Congratulations.” Xander muttered, sounding unimpressed.
“Hey, how would you feel if your first meal out of the joint was a hamburger and fries? I’ve been eating shit food for the last three weeks!” I yelled, grabbing my burger, opening it up and making sure the condiments were to my liking. There was lettuce and ketchup on it.
My kind of burger, just the way I fucking liked to eat them.
“The joint?” Eugene stuttered, apprehensively.
Xander laughed him off. “She has trouble with words Eugene, she meant diet. Right Marisa, you’ve been on a diet for three weeks and you’re finally having that burger you’ve been craving for almost a month?”
I eyed their direction warily. What was going on? Every time Eugene got a little freaked out by what I said, even though I swore like a sailor, my story was quickly changed to accommodate his distress.
For the second time too.
I’d answer the way Xander wanted, for now. But I was going to get some answers later.
“That’s right, a diet. I’m fucking starving. All I’ve been eating is salad this past month.” I explained.
“I see.” Eugene said, anxiety free.
“Anyways, no more talking from me, I’m digging in.” I said, picking up my burger and taking a giant bite. I almost fainted from the first bite. It hit every taste bud in my mouth, it was that good.
Makes me want to cry it’s so yummy.
*~*~*
“Hey, you’ve got some explaining to do.” I bumped my shoulder into Xander’s on our way back to his building from the restaurant. After eating the most delicious, well deserved, long time coming, hamburger, dinner came to an end and Eugene bid his farewell first. Xander paid the bill by telling them to charge it to his account and we left shortly after Eugene did. I didn’t even know what the guy looked like. He was a strange guy, laughing loudly one minute, then the next second all serious.
He knew some strange people, me included.
I was strange, I knew it and he knew it too.
But you know what, I was proud of it.
“Eugene is a private man.” Xander explained. “You’d do well to take note of that for yourself. Keep the fact that you’ve spent three weeks in prison to yourself. Most people won’t be as forgiving as I was. They’ll look at you as a felon.”
“Fuck that shit, I’m not happy or proud that I went to prison, but it was only for three weeks.” I snapped.
“Thanks to me you were only there for three weeks, could have been much longer.” Xander smirked.
“That sentence was a total crock of shit, taken completely out of order, exaggerated for no reason.” I snapped.
“You scratched a police officer’s face off.” Xander smirked again.
“That wasn’t my fault. He put his face in front of my fingers!” I snapped again.
“Right.” Xander said.
My eyes bugged out. “I’m not a felon!”
“Okay, whatever you say, geez the slammer changed you.” Xander chuckled.
I scowled at him and slid down the seat so that I was nestled closely to the door, far away from Xander.
“I thought you were cold?” Xander grinned, his fingers dancing towards me along the seat. I slapped them away.
“Don’t fucking touch me bitch, and I’m not cold anymore.” I crossed my arms, rubbing my bare goose bumped arms. There was a strong wind tonight and it wasn’t a warm one. I came out tonight in only the dress with no cover up. Getting inside the car, Xander offered to warm me. I sat closer than necessary as the car heated.
Now, I knew that was a bad idea.
“Are we going back?” I asked looking out the window as Daniels drove us through downtown Toronto.
“Are we going back home you mean?” Xander smirked.
“You know what I mean.” I groaned.
“You’re going back home, I have some place I need to be that takes precedence for the rest of the evening.” Xander said, taking out his phone.
I snorted. “Oh really, let me guess, one of your side pieces called you up and offered to spread her legs, free of charge?”
Xander rolled his eyes. “Side pieces? I don’t call my women that. I prefer ladies in waiting.”
My eyes rolled. “Whatever you want to call them, I hope they’re getting paid.”
“Why would I need to pay to have sex?” Xander scowled.
I shook my head, looking away. “I don’t know,”
“Look at me.” Xander ordered, grabbing my arm, pulling me around. “Do I look like I need to pay for pussy?”
“Maybe.” I smirked. “You are kind of freaky, maybe most women don’t like that kind of shit.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Trust me, there’s more than enough women that love doing the things that I do, a long line, baby.”
I yanked my arm out of his grasp. “Do whatever the fuck you want to do with your long lines of fucked up women.”
“Oh I see,” Xander nodded, as if he just understood something. “You’re jealous that I’m leaving to spend time with other lucky females.”
My jaw dropped. “Jealous?”
“It’s okay, I understand, I’d be jealous too that I wasn’t going to be able to spend time with me either. You’ve been without me for over three weeks and now that you’ve got me right next to you, you don’t want to let me go.” X
ander grinned.
My arm shot up in response and my middle finger jerked upwards, right in his face. “You see that mother fucker, you see that?”
He grinned. “It’s right in my face, it’s kind of hard not to.”
“You know what this means? It was means go fuck yourself with your whole ‘I’m jealous’ scenario.” I hissed.
He cocked an eyebrow. “I did,”
“You did what?” I hissed again.
Xander reached out and easily lowered my arm. “As in I did, I had a release before leaving tonight.”
“What?” I stared in horror at his hand over my arm and then yanked it out of his grasp. “Get your nasty ass hands off of me!”
“What, you’re the one who brought it up.” Xander smirked, shaking his head. “Let me explain a few things about a man’s need to ejaculate daily. In my case, I need two or three releases a day, or else.”
“Or else what?” I cringed.
“I become angry Xander,” he said. “Ever see the movie ‘The Shining’?”
“Yeah.”
“Then you know now, not to ever deprive me of a well-deserved release.” Xander eyed me. “Got it?”
“Okay.” I jerked me chin back, confused. Why was he telling me this? If he wanted to do his thing in private without ever telling me about it, I was just fine with that, in fact I preferred that.
He probably thought this was information I needed to know, you know, because I was his eternal servant. “Don’t worry boss, you ever get that close to losing it because you haven’t spilled your load, I’ll have porno’s ready at your disposal.”
I took my phone out of my clutch. “Now what kind of porno’s did you say you liked jerking off to again?”
I pretended to tap keys on my phone. “Oh how about these, ‘Biker Bob and His Panty Fetish’ or ‘Big Bertha and the Mount Cockinu Quest’, you choose the one’s you like, okay?” I grinned at him.
Xander narrowed his eyes at me as he reached inside his pocket. He took out a key and black card and held them out for me. “Take these.”
“What are they?” I eyed his open palm.
“This is the key to your condo, and this is the key card for the front entrance.” Xander explained, looking out the window. “I’m going out now.”