by Annie Lane
“Terrible state of affairs if you ask my opinion.” She grinned over at Louise, as smug as a cat with a rat caught between its teeth. “Some people really ought to know better.”
Beside them, Thomas watched the goings on with a heavy heart. As the cart disappeared from sight, he could tell Earl felt mighty bad. Earl was going to take it hard, and no amount of whiskey was going to make it right anytime soon. It was clear that not every man wished to marry by way of the mail order service.
He turned his attention to Charlotte then, who was whispering words of comfort into Beth’s ear. To his untrained eye the girl looked she was near to fainting, her skin white and damp, and he decided to get a second opinion before it was too late. Cupping his mouth with both hands, he called across the way for Doc Lawson. The last thing he needed was Beth passing out on top of everything else the poor girl had just been through.
“Charlotte ... here,” said Thomas. He handed his wife a handkerchief. “Wipe her brow and get her down on the grass. She should sit for a while and rest. You know better than anyone how exhausted she must be after such a long journey.”
Beth sighed miserably, but took a seat on the ground as instructed. She closed her eyes for a moment and caught her breath. When she opened them again she looked up at Thomas and said, “I’m sorry we had to meet under these circumstances. I can see Charlotte’s found a wonderful husband and I ... I ...oh, why did this...” Beth started crying again before she could finish the sentence.
After a while of sobbing and spluttering and soaking Charlotte’s blouse right through to the skin, she became aware of a bustle of activity and then a tall, middle aged man – a little thick around the middle with a smattering of grey through his hair and beard — was standing right above her. The man took her hand and turned it over so his fingers barely brushed her wrist. There was so little fight left in her that she really had no choice but to let him.
Doc Lawson stood silently, nodding slowly, as he felt Beth’s pulse. When Beth didn’t make a move, choosing instead to just sit there, feeling completely sorry for herself, he squatted down on the grass in front of her and looked intensely into her eyes. Beth wondered how he managed to balance there for so long on his haunches with a child wrapped all the way around his waist and clinging to him like a monkey, but not once did he lose his footing. “Your pupils are a little dilated but there’s no need to worry. They’re clear and focusing well so I think with some rest you’ll be feeling better in no time.”
“Thanks, Doc,” said Thomas.
Charlotte glanced between the two men, not sure what to make of all drama. “We’ll take her back to the farm immediately. She can rest up there and take a nice long bath. There’s plenty of water and some nice fragrant bubbles too. That always fixes things if you ask my opinion.”
Beth wiped her eyes. “No, I won’t hear of it. I won’t impose like that, you’re newlyweds after all and you should be alone right now. I must make my way back to the station immediately in readiness for the very next train to Seattle.”
“You’ll do no such thing.” Thomas said the words firmly. He could hear the worry hidden behind Beth’s shaky voice and understood it well and true that she had no means to travel or no home to return to. “You’ll come back to the ranch and stay as long as you need. We don’t have much but you’ll be comfortable there until you can make other arrangements.”
“Oh, Thomas I couldn’t possibly...”
“A friend of Charlotte’s is a friend of mine.” Thomas smiled kindly at her and pointed toward the road. “Now come along before it gets too late. Charlotte has a stew on the stove and there’s plenty there for three. ”
Like the man he was raised to be, Thomas knew it to be the admirable thing to do. His Gran would have insisted, and while he was by no means a selfish man, the generous offer was edging into foolishness. Thomas and Charlotte had so little to offer. But when he turned to his wife, Charlotte was smiling at him again.
And when Charlotte smiled, nothing else mattered.
Chapter 14
Earl sat on his front step, just like he had many times before with his head hung low in his hands and his eyes stinging from the dry air.
He pondered there a while, trying to clear his mind, but he couldn’t help the questions from coming at him. What had him so worked up? Was it the thought of showing so few manners to the young lady? Or was it the discourteous manner in which she’d replied? Both notions held court for a moment but after a while he came up empty and realized it was neither of those things. He had to admit the truth, to himself if no one else. With a pain-filled heart he sighed heavily and stared at his worn boots between his knees.
He was a traitor. Plain and simple.
Grace was the love of his life and not once in the time since he’d met her had his head been turned or his interest piqued by another woman ... until today. The fact that he’d dishonored her memory in such a cruel way made him want to puncture his chest just to free the ache that’d settled there. It wasn’t just Beth’s beauty or her elegance or the sophistication beyond her years that had him so enamored with her. It wasn’t something about her that he felt drawn to ... it was just her.
And there was nothing he could do about it.
The front door suddenly swung open behind him. He’d told Junior to wait in his room until he was ready to talk, but apparently the boy had other ideas. Nothing new there.
The wood creaked when Junior crept closer, but not a word passed for quite some time. The two Mason men just stared out across the paddocks and watched the cattle milling around in groups, and just when Earl thought the silence would stretch on forever, Junior whispered the words that no parent should ever want to hear.
“I miss Ma so much it makes my tummy hurt.”
Earl let go the breath he’d been holding and his entire body drained of anger. He looked down at the top of his son’s head and noticed his hands shaking slightly in his lap. Earl wrapped his arm around him and pulled him into his side. “I know you do, I know you do.” He sighed and shook his head. “But that doesn’t mean we can just replace her with someone else and think things’ll go back to being the way they were. We need to take her memory with us everywhere we go or else we’ll start to forget and that’s the part that scares me the most. I don’t want to forget.”
Junior lifted his eyes. He liked it when he knew something his Pa didn’t. It made him feel smart. “You’ll never forget her as long as you got me around, Pa. Since she grew me inside her and all, every time you look at me you’ll know how much she loved you ... we’ll, maybe ... I think I got it right? That’s what Ma told me anyway, before we dug that deep hole and put dirt on her face.”
Earl froze as solid as a statue. “You talked to your Ma about this before she died?”
“Yeah, Pa. She called me into her room one day when you went out to boil more washcloths. She told me I had to be a big, brave boy and take care of you because you’d be real sad for a long time. She said I needed to say my prayers and wash my hands and make my bed every single day,” Junior paused then and his shoulders slumped. “I should make my bed more often. I hope Ma’s not disappointed in me all the way up there in the sky?”
“Never, never in a hundred years. What else did she say?”
“She told me that one day you might want to hold another lady’s hand. She said I couldn’t be cross with you when it happened ... but I think Ma got it all mixed up in her head, being that she was so sick and everythin’ ‘cause now you’re cross with me and I didn’t even touch Miss Beth’s hands.”
“No you didn’t, but you wanted to didn’t you, boy? I could see it written all over your face. Am I right?”
Junior nodded. “I like it when Miss Charlotte holds my hand and Aunty Dawn, too. It kinda reminds of when Ma used to hold my hand. It makes me feel safe. Miss Beth’s got really nice hands though Pa, maybe you should try it first, just to see how it feels and if you like holding her hand then the chances are I will too.”
Earl stood to his feet and stretched out his back. He wandered slowly along the porch, taking in the scenery and feeling his heart grow heavy again with the look of hopefulness in Junior’s eyes. “Don’t be talking like that now, boy. You’ll only be disappointed.”
Junior stood to follow him and his shoelaces made scratchy sounds as they dragged against the faded timber. “You won’t even try it, Pa?”
“No, I won’t. Do you remember when your Ma used to call you her little meadowlark?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Well that’s the way she’d want to you to be right now ... not sad and dejected ... she’d want you being her crazy little meadowlark again, running around and squealing and having fun. So let’s just keep her close to our hearts and forget all this other hogwash.”
Junior glanced up at the sky, knowing his Ma would be looking down on him. He certainly hoped his Pa was wrong about the hand holding situation, but from experience he knew it was better not to argue with his Pa. He decided to change the subject.
The sun was slowly sinking behind the mountain but there was still plenty of time before supper was served. “Can I take Snog over to visit Rosy? He hasn’t seen the piglets for days and I know he’s itching to get out of his pen.” Junior figured he might as well make use of his time. Getting out from under his father’s feet wasn’t such a bad idea either.
“Just for a little while. Don’t make a nuisance of yourself. I imagine Mrs. Ackerman will be upset with all that happened. If Thomas tells you to come back home again, then you do so immediately. Do you hear me?”
“Yes, Pa.”
“Fine then, run along.”
Junior took off like a meadowlark in search of a worm before Earl changed his mind.
Chapter 15
Darkness had fallen across the valley by the time Earl woke from his nap. He jerked awake, his entire body covered in a lather of sweat as panic slashed through him. He remembered lying down for just a moment, just to catch his breath a while, so he could sort through the minefield of thoughts racing through his mind. But with the house so quiet and still for a change, he must have fallen into a deep sleep and was only now wondering of Junior’s whereabouts. His heart pounded inside his chest.
Jumping from the bed, he headed for the front door in a frantic rush, calling his son’s name the entire time. When there was no reply, he made his way over to the stables and fetched Lightning. He didn’t even bother to saddle the steed for the short trip over to the Ackerman’s place, but instead rode bare back across the ridges and paddocks until he found himself drawing to a halt over by Thomas's barn.
A few minutes later, he was taking the front stairs two at a time and knocking on the front door. When he didn’t immediately get a response, he leaned to one side and peeked through the open window into the sitting room, just like he always did.
And that’s when Earl felt all the color drain clean from his face.
Charlotte and Thomas were seated together on an overstuffed arm chair. Charlotte’s cheek rested on Thomas's chest while he mindlessly fondled strands of her hair between his fingertips. Junior was over by the fireplace, sitting square in Beth’s lap! The young woman was sitting cross-legged on the floor, and all four of them were singing a hymn together. It was an old one. A beautiful piece of music too if Earl remembered it correctly, but one that probably hadn’t been sung for years, and he couldn’t help but wonder how Junior knew the words so well.
Earl just stood there a while, not making a sound. The astonishment of seeing Beth again made his blood race in that same familiar way it had earlier. Why was she still in town? He thought she would have boarded the very next train and headed back to Seattle as fast as she could. Under the circumstances he figured Conrad was the very last place she’d want to be right now, so the shock of seeing her again — her arms wrapped around his son as she gazed down at him with a look of sheer wonder on her face — made him falter a moment.
Only one voice stood out to him, though, as he stood there listening, feeling every bit the interloper, and Earl couldn’t stop the gasp of air that pulled through his lips.
Beth’s voice was exquisite. Soft and melodic like a musical instrument of some nature, and while he never wanted the sound to stop, he knew what had to be done before things took to changing in a way he’d never be able to change back again.
He pounded the side of his fist into the door.
Like he’d imagined it would, the singing abruptly ceased and a set of heavy footsteps thumped toward him. “Good evening Earl,” said Thomas when the timber panel swung open. “Come on in, we were just...”
“I can hear that terrible ruckus all the way over yonder. Might want to keep it down or none of us will get any sleep tonight.” Earl stuck his head through the door, and made sure he avoided Beth’s gorgeous green eyes. “Junior, let’s go ... I told you not to stay too long. You’ve been gone for hours.”
“Can’t I visit just a little longer?”
“Not tonight.”
“But Pa, what if I just...”
Beth shifted the boy from her lap and stood him to his feet. She knelt before him, her hands gently resting on each of his arms, and while she didn’t care to look over at Earl or acknowledge the way her feelings had just betrayed her — what with her heart skipping and her lashes fluttering at the sound of his deep voice — she knew there was no option than to do as he asked. “Your father said no, and that’s the end of the story. Perhaps we’ll see each other tomorrow?”
“That’s highly unlikely,” muttered Earl beneath his breath.
Beth looked up, not accustomed to the harsh tone. “It was only a suggestion.”
“Duly noted, but it’s hardly your place to intervene now is it? You’ll be gone soon enough so I hardly see the point.”
Earl wasn’t sure why he was provoking the girl. Perhaps it was to get a rise out of her again? There was some strange part of him that had enjoyed the way she challenged him earlier.
The sad lilt in Beth’s voice tore through the room. “No. it’s not my place ... I suppose you’re right.”
“Can’t for the life of me think of a time when I wasn’t.”
Beth couldn’t believe the audacity of the man. She was only trying to be nice. She’d travelled for days to meet him and yet here he was reprimanding her for taking a shine to his son. Stupid man. Beth jumped straight to her feet and on instinct her hands flew to her hips.
She glared at Earl. “Thank the Lord this wonderful child must have inherited his mother’s fine nature, ‘cause it’d be doggone shame to see such a delightful boy end up a sour old sack like you. You’re an abomination, Mr. Mason.”
Turning her back on the ill-mannered, charmless and boorish man was all Beth could do to hold her tongue from saying something else she might later regret. She kissed the top of Junior’s head, nodded politely to Thomas and Charlotte and then marched down the hallway to the bedroom where she’d earlier placed her belongings. She made sure to firmly and loudly close the door behind her.
Beth sighed as she collapsed face first onto the bed. Her head sunk deep into the pillow and while she felt like crying again, she refused to give Earl Mason the satisfaction of upsetting her for a second time in one day. She wanted to hate the man. She wanted to march right back out there and slap her hand across his self-righteous cheek. But she didn’t. She just sighed again, rolled over onto her back and closed her eyes instead, hoping with all her heart that sleep would find her quickly.
Tomorrow was a new day. Things could only get better.
Chapter 16
The following day did in fact start much brighter for everyone concerned.
After a good night’s sleep Beth woke feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the challenges at hand. It had been decided, after a healthy serving of Thomas's famous flap-jacks and copious cups of tea, that Beth would stay for at least a week to visit the couple and they would work something out once her vacation was over. Charlotte couldn’t have been more plea
sed with the outcome and was in a positively delightful mood.
Once breakfast was cleared away and Thomas had begun his chores out in the yard, Charlotte offered to take Beth into town to meet a few of the locals. Since the Mercantile always received a new shipment of fabric on a Monday, it was a good excuse to pour over the bolts of cloth and Charlotte was thrilled to have her best friend with her to help pick out some new trimmings for the windows.
As the two ladies set off down the driveway, Beth cursed herself when she felt her eyes travel over to the Mason place. It was an impressive homestead and the gardens were well-maintained, yet she still yearned to make it more of a home for Junior. And for Earl too if she was being completely honest. Not once had he backed down from his solid stance, but there was something about the way he looked at her last night — as momentary and fleeting as it was — that hadn’t gone unnoticed. His eyes had warmed for just a fraction of a second, soft and gooey like caramel, like he was inviting her in, luring her closer so that she might feel the same things he was feeling.
But that was right before he’d scolded her in such a spiteful, mean-spirited way.
“And over there ...that’s the Church, of course,” Charlotte stumbled over her words nervously. Quick to move on she added, “Doc Lawson lives just beyond the church and ...oh, look, there’s Aunty Dawn right now.”
All three women waved politely to one another as the cart passed by down the street. When they came to a stop out front of the diner, Beth couldn’t hide how impressed she was with Charlotte’s horse handling skills. “You’ve become quite the professional farmer’s wife. I must say I do enjoy seeing you this way. If you’re not nursing piglets or tending the vegetable patch, you’re steering a cart as though you’ve entered the doggone thing in a Derby.”