“Yeah, I do. You’re becoming obsessed again.”
That stopped Erik dead. “What do you mean ‘again’?”
“You know what I mean. You got like this three years ago. You barely ate or slept. All you did was try to figure out who rigged the explosion.”
“So now you believe that someone deliberately sabotaged our lab? Well, damn, it only took you five years.”
“Fuck you, Erik. That’s not fair. Of course I want to know what really happened. I want whoever blew up our lab to rot in jail. And then I want you to let it go and actually live your damn life. Not spend every waking minute thinking about what happened to you and plotting revenge. I want you to move forward.”
“What the fuck more do you want from me, Keegan? Jesus, I’m working. I’m even dating, for Christ’s sake.”
“And that’s a great start. But it’s not enough. And you know it.”
“What exactly do you want me to do? You’re not my psychiatrist, damn it.”
“No, I’m not.” Keegan crossed his arms over his chest. “And you don’t have one of those anymore because you decided you were done.”
“Because I was. I don’t want to talk about my parents to anyone. I don’t want to think about how I felt when they took off the bandages. I just want it all to disappear.”
“And you know that’s not going to happen. Erik—”
“No. I’m done. You’re not the one living in my skin. You don’t get to tell me how to feel or how to live my life. I don’t give a fuck what other people think of me.”
“What about Jules?”
“What about her? She’s fine with our arrangement.”
“How the hell would you know that? You pretty much told her what was going to happen. There was no discussion.”
“This is the best solution to the problem and you know it.”
Keegan looked like he wanted to keep arguing but managed to swallow whatever he was going to say. Instead, he said, “You’re so fucking stubborn and you have an answer for everything, don’t you?”
“For this, yeah, I do. Because it’s the only solution.”
Keegan took a deep breath and let it out on a sigh and Erik knew he’d gotten Keegan to give in.
“So when are we going to see her again?” He was done hashing this out. Time to push forward.
“Don’t you mean when will I call her to ask her out so we can see her again?”
Erik just stared at Keegan, holding on to his own temper.
Keegan shook his head. “I told her I’d call Tuesday. I assume you don’t have anything planned.”
He felt that jab like a blow to solar plexus. “You know I don’t.”
“Then I guess I’ll see if she’s available for dinner.”
“And afterward, you can come to my house.”
And get Jules in bed between them.
Sounded like the perfect plan.
And in the meantime, he’d figure out what he was going to do with the information he’d received from his sister.
***
“So you really didn’t know?”
“Had no idea he was a guy. That’ll make you think twice about saying yes to a date with a former lover’s friend.”
Jules laughed at Keegan’s story as they walked through the door into Erik’s home. They’d had a great dinner, talked about everything and anything, shared a few drinks, and managed not to bring up the one sore spot between them.
Jules found it amazing that after four dates with Keegan over the past ten days, they still found new subjects to discuss.
Guess that’s what happens when you date men instead of boys.
Keegan might be soft-spoken when they were out in public but he had a dry wit she adored. They could talk for hours and never repeat themselves or fall into an awkward silence.
The only time that happened was when Erik’s name came up. Then she’d felt they were missing a vital piece of the puzzle of their relationship.
“Sounds like you two had a good time tonight.”
Erik smiled as he walked into the front room to meet them and her heart did a little happy dance as she turned toward his voice.
He was here. Now they were complete.
She crossed the room to wrap her arms around his waist and lift her face to his for a kiss.
When his lips settled on hers, he practically took her breath away. Pure domination laced with burning lust. She felt seared through, her lungs singed and every nerve ending energized.
When he finally let her up for air, she could only blink up at him for several seconds as he stepped away.
Did his smile look a little forced?
“We did,” Keegan answered Erik’s questions, walking over to stand by Jules’ side and casually pulling her back against his chest, holding her there with one arm around her chest. “What’d you do all night?”
Erik didn’t answer right away, his gaze tracking Keegan’s movements before he looked up at his face. “Kept busy. Caught up on paperwork. Where’d you go tonight?”
“Viva. Good food. Nice and intimate.”
A tiny muscle in Erik’s jaw started to twitch and now she knew his smile was forced. “Good. So, either of you want a drink?”
“Not for me, thanks,” Jules said. “I probably had enough at dinner.”
“Keegan?”
Keegan shook his head. “I’m good.”
Well, okay, then. They were all good. Now what?
Erik nodded, his expression pulling into a stiff mask that made his scars seem more prominent. His unscarred cheek had a slight red tinge and she wondered if he’d been drinking before they’d arrived. She hadn’t tasted alcohol when he kissed her but…
And what would it matter if he had? He was a grown man. He didn’t have to answer to anyone.
Including her.
“Then I guess I’ll be drinking alone.”
Was she imagining the hard edge she now heard in his voice? Why had this suddenly turned difficult?
The first night she and Keegan had gone out alone had been a little awkward but they’d managed to get through it before they’d hurried back to Erik’s and spent several hours in bed. They’d repeated that the second date last Friday and again on Monday.
By Monday’s date, however, she and Keegan hadn’t mentioned Erik once. Which had made her feel disloyal.
Except he’d said this arrangement was what he wanted. He’d pushed the two of them to go out without him, to show the world they were a happy little couple, not some freak show with three heads.
But here, in the privacy of Erik’s house, they could get their freak on all they wanted.
And they did. So much so, Jules would bet they were trying to break the record for most orgasms in one night.
It’d be totally amazing…if she didn’t feel like Erik was slipping farther into the shadows. Backsliding.
And they were allowing him to do it.
Erik poured himself a glass of whiskey from the bar across the room and took a healthy swallow before turning back to them.
With a little nudge from Keegan, Jules headed for the couch, where she sat. Keegan kept going and sat on the chair opposite her.
There was definitely something up with him tonight and it made her stomach curl in on itself.
If this night was like the rest, they’d have a drink—or Erik would have a drink—then they’d head up to Erik’s bedroom and make love for hours.
Since it was Friday and she had the day off tomorrow, she’d taken Erik’s advice and packed a bag. Just a small one but her mom had known what she had in it. She hadn’t said anything but Jules had seen that hint of worry in her eyes.
At least she wasn’t making herself sick over how she was going to pay the bills and keep them in their home.
Keegan had grinned when he saw the bag but he hadn’t said anything about it. He’d taken it from her and put it in the backseat. Where it remained, she realized. Keegan hadn’t brought it in with them.
Oversight? O
r had he done it deliberately? She wasn’t sure what was going on in Keegan’s head but it was increasingly obvious that something was.
Erik could sense it as well, and his confusion was quickly turning to frustration. Walking over to the couch, he leaned down to press a kiss to her lips before sitting on the couch next to her.
Then he stared straight at Keegan.
“Want to tell me what’s going on?”
With Erik sitting so close to her, she felt how tightly he was holding himself. As if he was waiting for a blow.
A swirl of confusion settled low in her belly and she turned to Keegan. His expression made her want to reach out and stroke away the lines of tension around his eyes. She hadn’t seen them during dinner, when it’d just been the two of them. Now…
Her lungs felt tight, almost as if they weren’t working correctly.
Suddenly Keegan stood. “I’m not staying. I’m sorry, Jules. I just…” He stopped and ran a hand through his hair. “I just don’t think I’d be very good company tonight. Dinner was amazing. Thank you for going with me. But…I think it’s better if I leave.”
She wanted to protest, wanted to reach for his hand and tell him not to go. Not because she didn’t want to be alone with Erik but because she wanted them both. Together.
She felt something intangible starting to tear apart at the seams.
Erik’s eyes narrowed and he rose to his feet as well. “Why not?”
“I just told you.” Keegan spoke slowly, a hint of an edge in every word. “I don’t think I’ll be good company tonight.”
“Did something happen? Something between you and—”
“This has nothing to do with Jules.”
Erik’s frown held a world of confusion. “Then what the hell’s going on with you? You’ve been miserable at work this past week. You don’t talk much, and when you do, it’s like pulling teeth.”
“I’ve had a lot on my mind.”
“Yeah, so have I, but I’m not acting like a dick.”
“No, you’re just retreating again.” Keegan’s tone started to rise and the hair on Jules’s neck stood on end. “Well, I’m sick of playing this game, Erik. I’m sick of watching you curl back into your hole, where you can hide and everyone comes to you instead of you coming out to meet them.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the fact that after one date, you decided, for the three of us, that it would be better if I dated Jules. And you know, I’m not complaining. Not one fucking bit because there is no one else I would rather see.”
Erik shook his head, true confusion starting to replace the anger. “Then what the hell’s going on?”
“I have bent over backward to make this work.” Keegan turned toward the door and started to walk away before turning on his heel and getting in Erik’s face. “But it’s not. Because you’re still broken.”
Jules cringed as Erik’s eyes widened. He looked like Keegan had slapped him. “What the fuck—”
“Don’t. Don’t fucking deny it. I thought you were starting to come out of that hole you’d dug for yourself two years ago. The one that I allowed you to build, so yeah, I’ll take some of the blame for this. Hell, a month ago I would’ve taken all the blame. But I’m not going to. Not anymore.”
“I’m not living in a goddamn hole. I’m living my life the best way I know how to right now. I saw the way people looked at me that night we took Jules to dinner. I saw how they looked away. But did you notice how they looked at Jules? Did you even fucking care? No. you didn’t. And you know why? Because your guilt is always right there. You wear it like a fucking badge of shame. You’ve got quite the fucking martyr complex, don’t you?”
Both men were breathing like freight trains, staring each other down. Jules realized she was holding her own breath and sucked in air.
“Don’t try to turn this back on me.” Keegan sliced his hand through air. “If you really wanted to live your life, you’d grow a pair and come out with us.”
“That’s what this is about?” Erik looked dumbfounded. “Seriously, you’re pissed because I didn’t come out with you and Jules on your dates?”
“No, you know that’s not it. You’re deliberately misunderstanding me.”
“Then explain it so the feeble-minded among us can understand.”
Keegan pulled back as if Erik had punched him. “Is that what you believe I think about you? That you’re somehow mentally diminished because of the explosion?”
Erik’s hands curled into fists at his sides, and Jules wanted to reach for him, wrap her hands around his, and make him uncurl his fingers. She wanted to step between them and make them stop but she was afraid they might not even see her.
“Isn’t that exactly what you think? You’ve been treating me like a fucking invalid for years—”
“Because that’s how you acted. God damn it, Erik—”
“No.” Erik held up one hand. “Just…enough. It’s bad enough you finally got the nerve to say exactly what you’re thinking, but that you did it in front of Jules makes it so much worse.”
Erik turned to her and she saw a torrent of pain and anger in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Jules. I think it’s probably best if Keegan takes you home tonight. I don’t think I’ll be in the right frame of mind to entertain.”
“Erik—”
She and Keegan spoke at the same time but Erik cut them both off.
“That’s it. I’m done. You’ve said what you wanted to say. Apparently you’ve bottled that up for a few years. Do you feel better now, Keegan? I fucking hope so.”
Erik turned to face Jules then and he wiped away the furious look on his face for her. But he couldn’t rid himself of the deeper flush on his cheeks. That flush highlighted his scars and made her chest ache.
He’d never be without them. She knew that.
And maybe, just maybe he was too damaged emotionally to ever have a normal relationship again.
“I’m sorry for trying to spare you drama we’d cause whenever we went out together, all three of us. It’d be a circus. You know that, Jules. We were both too fucking selfish to give you up. I honestly thought this was the best solution for all of us. Obviously, I was wrong.”
“Erik, stop.” She heard the pleading in her voice but couldn’t stop. “Why don’t we all take a deep breath and sit down and talk about this.”
Erik just shook his head. “I think we’re beyond that, babe. And I’m truly sorry.”
Then he bent over the couch, over her, and sealed their lips together. “Let Keegan take you home. I’ll talk to you soon.”
With one last, burning look at Jules, Erik turned and walked out of the room.
To be continued…
Stephanie Julian
Stephanie Julian has been a daily news reporter, a freelance feature writer and a movie, theater and music critic but what she loves most is writing heat with heart. She’s happily married to a Springsteen fanatic and is the mother of two sons.
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An Indecent Proposition Part IV Page 6