I’d asked Ben why he couldn’t be taken to the hospital. He’d told me that Rafael never visited a hospital, no matter how serious his injuries were. With the kind of life he’d led before, he had to keep his wounds--and scars--a secret. That’s how he’d met Dr. Morgenstern. He’d worked for Kravic before he retired. So Rafael had kept him on retainer.
I drop my head to where our hands connect. His fingers tighten around mine, and I jerk my head up. Dark eyes, framed with equally dark, full lashes, stare back at me.
“Rafael?” I whisper, leaning forward. “Oh God, you’re okay?”
He tries to lift his head, but it plops back on the bed.
“What the hell did you do that for?”
He cocks his brow at me, one side of his mouth kicking up. My stomach clenches, and I’m torn between wanting to pluck that brow off his face and kissing his mouth. The power of attraction sucks. SUCKS.
He clears his throat twice. “I was . . . saving you. I thought that’s what heroes did. Save the damsels in distress.”
My whole body stiffens. “I told you, I don’t need saving, Rafael. I’m not a damsel in distress.” I take a deep breath and count to ten, then say, “That was a very stupid move.”
He scowls. “You’re mine, Sophie. And I will damn well save you, even if it kills me.”
“Gah! Sometimes . . . sometimes . . . I just want to hit you on the head!” I struggle to breathe around the lump in my throat. “I didn’t ask to be saved,” I say in a low voice.
“You were mine the moment you gave me that damn butterfly fourteen years ago. I’ve been yours since then, Sophie. Because I gave you my heart that day,” he says, his chest rising and falling with the effort. I watch him, stunned. “And that makes you mine to protect.”
I drop his hand and get up from the chair I’ve been sitting in for the last two hours. “I don’t want you putting your life in danger for me.”
He pushes himself to a sitting position on the edge of the bed, facing me. His body sways and he snaps his eyes shut, pressing his fingers against them, as if to absorb the pain. When he opens them again, they are dark and glarey. One hand clutches the bandage on his chest.
“I will fight for you until my final breath. You are everything that I’m not. Strong and warm and easy to love. Optimistic. You give me hope, Sophie. You give me hope that I can still be saved. Remember how you said you’d wanted to fix me? Well, guess what? You did, baby. You still do. I want you to fix me. And I will always fight for you. It’s a given.”
“No one’s ever fought for me before. I can’t risk losing you.”
“Well, they’re idiots. And you won’t lose me. I was born to love and protect you, Sophie. Please, let me do it.”
“Rafael . . . there are so many wolves in this world. There’ll always be--”
“Then I’ll die fighting them off you.”
He winces, clutching his chest tighter.
“You’re bleeding.” I rush to his side, slipping my arm around him to catch him before he falls. Heat sears my skin. I touch his forehead.
He shudders. Goosebumps prickle his skin. “See, your touch drives me wild, even when I’m at death’s door--”
“Please, just . . . shut up, will you?” I push him to lie on his back and glance down at the bandage. The red spot’s grown larger, seeping onto my blouse. No, no, no! He can’t die, just like that.
I grab a few bandages from the table and press them on the wound.
“What?” I say, when he continues gaping at me.
“You told me to shut up.” His eyes are wide, his jaw slackened, giving him a comical look.
“So?”
“No one’s ever said that to me before. Except Hawk, but he lives to torture me.” His words are slurred from the medication the doctor had given him. He moves to stand, but I push him down gently.
“Probably scared you’ll kill them with one of those looks you wield like a weapon.” After checking to make sure no more blood is seeping through, I grab his legs from the floor, and gently lift them onto the bed. “And I’m not above saying it again if you keep talking instead of resting.”
I pull his pants down. I hadn’t gotten around to doing it while he was asleep. He chuckles and when I look up, he’s smiling lopsidedly, looking drunk.
“You trying to get fresh with me?”
I yank the trousers. God, those thighs! He’s like the god of thighs. Long legs, well toned. It’s like there’s no meat in them. Pure and raw.
“Checking me out, aren’t you?”
“Don’t flatter yourself.” I fold his trousers and grab a hanger from the wardrobe.
“Sophie?” Sheets rustle, followed by a groan, and I look over my shoulder.
“Come ‘ere.” He motions to me with a wobbly hand. The locks fallen over his forehead give him a boyish look. One leg hangs off the edge of the bed.
“You need to rest, Rafael. Are you in pain? Morgenstern left some painkillers--”
“Sophie.” Any traces of drunkenness are gone from his voice, and now it’s strong, commanding like always. “I need to talk to you.”
“We can talk tomorrow, all right? I’m not going anywhere.” I gather the bloody pieces of his shirt from the floor and head for the bathroom.
“Oh, for Christ’s sake . . .” His voice booms in the small room. I turn around in time to see him swing his long legs off the bed and hobble toward me.
“Rafael!” Can’t a guy just follow orders?
He stops, and shuts his eyes tightly. “Why does it feel like God just bellowed my name?” He opens them and I hurry to his side. “I’m not a very good person.” He slides his hand to cradle my face, running his thumb over my lower lip, caressing the lip ring. “I hurt you before. I’m afraid I’ll hurt you again. You should stay away from me, Sophie, because I sure as hell can’t stay away from you.”
“Stop saying that, okay? We’ve been doing so well. I told you, I don’t care about what happened in the past.”
His body sags, becoming heavier in my arms, and I lead him to the bed before we end up on the floor. I scoot up on the bed, pulling him to me. Once I lie down, he places his head on my chest, wrapping one arm around my waist. “I’m so sorry.”
Running my fingers through his hair, I kiss his forehead. He snuggles deeper into me. “What hell are we going to do? Kravic wants Tony, and you,” I say, tightening my arms around him. “Damn it, Rafael. Why did you have to fight that idiot?”
“He was a threat to you. That’s an invitation to drive a fist through his face. As for Kravic, he can’t have me. He won’t have me, because you already do, my little Butterflyrologist.” He leans back to look at me through spiky lashes.
I trace a finger along his strong jaw, his full lips, the sharp curve of his cheekbone. He’s so beautiful, and brave. Closing my eyes, I let my hands memorize his face over and over. “I nearly lost you today. There was so much blood . . .”
Warm, rough hands cup my cheek. “Open your eyes and look at me, Sophie.” I do as I’m told, and what I see in his eyes would have knocked me off my feet if I wasn’t already on the bed. “No one will ever take me away from you. No one has that right. Only you can take you away from me, and I pray you never do that.”
I duck my head to kiss him on the mouth. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again. Because I’ll kick your ass myself.”
He chuckles and pulls me close, wrapping his arms firmly around me. “I won’t, not if I can help it.”
We fall silent. All I hear is his soft, rhythmic breathing. Finally, I close my eyes, and lay my head on his, my arms around his waist.
Rafael
I’VE BEEN cooped up in bed for the last three days. Sophie hired extra help to get Olivia’s Circle back in shape after the incident with Kravic. I, on the other hand, have had nothing to do.
Everything about me itches. My body, my hands, the fucking wound, even my brain is itching from inactivity. I can’t stand lying here like a fucking invalid. Club Illicit open
s tonight, and I won’t get to see Sophie in action.
I grunt, needing to direct my frustrations elsewhere. I grab my phone and dial Gustav’s number. I haven’t spoke to him since the incident with Josef. Every time I call, his phone is turned off. This time, it rings three times before he picks it up.
“You were supposed to watch Sophie, Gustav. Josef and his men almost got to her.”
“Arie,” he says. “I was attacked by two men from Kravic’s Crowd. I couldn’t make it in time to help you and Ben.”
I scowl. “I thought you were more clever than Kravic and his men. There’s a reason I hired you, Gustav. I told you before, when it comes to Sophie, it’s all or nothing. If I hadn’t arrived, Josef would have had her. You’re fired.”
“Arie--”
“Enough. Goodbye Gustav.”
I hang up and toss the phone on the bed. The pent-up energy and anger still burns a hot trail inside my body.
I scoot down lower in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I need to talk to Ben to get more security. Things are only going to get worse now that Kravic knows about Tony. I’m not giving the boy back. I’m not about to let him walk the path I did.
I shut my eyes and force myself to sleep.
I JERK awake, sweat beading my forehead and drenching my clothes.
Damn it! This is the second time since fighting Josef I’ve had that dream. It always ends with Sophie turning away from me, scared.
Rubbing my eyes, I remember how she looked when I saw her squirming in Ben’s arms, trying to get to me while Josef lay in a heap at my feet. Christ! Was she scared of me? Every time I open my damn mouth to ask her, I snap it shut, afraid of what she might say. I haven’t noticed anything that indicates she’s afraid of me, but fuck! I keep seeing that look on her face.
Will my anger, my demons, push her away, force her to leave me just like everyone I ever loved eventually did?
Fuck, no.
Fumbling for the phone on the nightstand, I punch in Simone’s number, my vision so filled with red, I can’t think straight. She answers on the fifth ring.
“Can’t talk now. I’ll call you back in thirty minutes?” she says without preamble.
“I need the best therapist you can get. I don’t care how much it costs, or if I have to fly to Timbuktu to see him. I won’t fucking lose her. Please.” My chest rises and falls, trying to catch up with my ragged breathing.
Simone’s silent for what seems like hours. “Rafael?” she whispers.
“Simone . . . I didn’t mean to--”
“Rafael,” she says again, louder this time, but still gentle. “Do you really mean that? A therapist?”
“Yes.” She’d tried to convince me to see a shrink while I was in Sydney. To try and work on my anger, get closure for my parents death. I’d brushed it off, because I’d thought I’d already made peace with their death after Olivia took me to see that counselor. Turns out, I hadn’t.
“Good,” she says, sniffing. “Good. I’ll see what I can do. I have to go, but remember, I love you. And I’m so proud of you.”
I breathe out, and the damn lump in my throat eases. “I love you too, Simone.” She inhales sharply, and I know I’d surprised her with those words.
When I end the call, I toss the phone on the pillow and swing my feet off the bed. Jesus. Is this what Sophie sleeps next to? Me, smelling like a damn cattle shed?
Footfalls sound in the hall and seconds later, Ben enters, his face drawn into deep lines.
“No need to look like I’m on my death-bed, Ben. I’ll be fine.”
His face clears immediately. He hands me a closed bowl and my stomach grumbles at the smell drifting from under the lid.
“What’s this?” I ask, prying the lid open eagerly.
“Chicken soup with noodles.”
I grab the spoon from his hands, dip it into the soup and shove some in my mouth. I almost die. What the freaking hell? It tastes like mud. “Who made this?”
He smiles proudly. “Me.”
I smile and nod, then shove another spoonful into my mouth, trying not to throw up. I’ve never tasted anything so vile. I swallow and glance at his expectant face. “Thank you. I think my cells are already healing.”
Sophie walks in, carrying a file. I’ve been working on the last minute details of her father’s accounts. Ben excuses himself and leaves the room.
I put the bowl on the nightstand and grimace. “Jesus, that is god-awful!” I say in a low voice.
She giggles and hands me the file. “At least it’s food. I’m putting together a quick lunch downstairs, but wanted to bring this to you first.” I snag her wrist, pulling her to me. She lands in a heap on my lap, her face on my naked chest.
“Stop that, Rafael.”
“But I feel lonely and neglected.”
She rolls her eyes. “Stop being such a baby. Tony was asking about you. Ben took him back to his place; I couldn’t leave him here.”
“If anyone can keep him safe, it’s Ben.” I pull her up and kiss her forehead. “What time does the event start tonight?”
“Eight. And guess what?” She smiles at me. “You’re going. I have a tux for you.”
“Thank God! I wasn’t about to spend another damn day in this bed. Do you have enough help?”
“Dani and Jace are helping out. Plus, Hawk got in from Barcelona earlier today.”
Just then, my phone vibrates on the nightstand. “Speak of the devil . . .” I say when I see his name flashing on the screen.
“Hawk. So good of you to check up on me.”
“Come on, Grouchy, did you miss me that much?” he says and chuckles. “I just got in today. Are you up for visitors?”
“Not now.” I grin at Sophie. Her eyes are narrowed at me.
“Why the hell not? It’s not like you’re going anywhere.”
“I’m under feminine ministrations. I’m tied to the bed right now.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Time’s a-wastin’. I need to get back to . . . Jesus Christ! That’s so fucking good, baby.” I groan into the phone. Sophie’s eyes widen and she slaps a hand over her mouth, laughing.
“You kinky bastard! You better not be tied to the bed when I get there.” He hangs up and I grin wide. Sophie bursts out laughing.
“Better get ready before he comes charging through the door,” I say, swinging my legs off the bed.
She wipes her face with the back of her hand. “You like that stuff? Being tied up, or tying someone to the bed?”
I swing around to look at her and groan. “Don’t look at me like that, otherwise I’ll rip that cute, yellow blouse off you. Then Hawk really will have a reason to flog me.” I squeeze my neck. “I’ve never done it before. I like it when a woman’s hands are all over me. Ever thought about it?” I narrow my eyes at her, watching her every move. Her fingers play with the hem of her dress.
“You put that thought in my head when you said it to Hawk.” She looks at me from under her lashes, and slips her warm, soft hands beneath my t-shirt. “I wouldn’t mind doing that with you. Would you like to tie me up? Have me at your mercy?”
I grab her face in my hands and crash my mouth into hers, tasting coffee on her tongue. “Soon as the bet’s off.” I drop my hands. Smiling, I head for the bathroom, the image of her tied to my bedposts more appealing with each passing second.
Sophie
I CAN’T remember the last time my friends and I went clubbing, but this is as close as it gets. I glance around the room. Disco lights blink on and off, spraying colors in different directions. The club’s already starting to fill in and the collection of attendees is pretty diverse, from the conservative suit and tie, to the downright short dresses, and shorts that barely cover the ass.
Dani, dressed in a fifties-inspired, pleated dress, saunters on heels across the room, a tray of champagne in her hands. Her long, dark hair is coiled in a bun at the nape of the neck. She looks different. Reserved, as usual, but completely different.
> Jace, on the other hand, looks like she stepped out of a leather and straps magazine. Dressed in waist-high, leather pants, a white button-down shirt with ruffles, and a leather jacket, she looks . . . like typical Jace. Her curly hair floats around her shoulders as she walks, handing tiny sandwiches to the visitors.
I head back to the room the manager had designated for the event staff. After dressing, I look in the mirror. The slinky, black dress fits perfectly. This one had belonged to my mother too, but I’d had Dani shorten the length a bit. Looking at myself in her dress, I look like Mom. Well, other than the height. I blink, fighting the tears, and take a deep breath. Then I turn and leave the room.
Rafael and Hawk have already arrived, and as soon as Rafael sees me coming, he leaves his friend’s side and strides toward me, favoring his wounded side.
“You look magnificent,” he growls into my ear, nipping at the earlobe. Shivers skate down my spine to my toes.
“And you look rather dashing.” I lean to kiss his jaw, taking in his divine scent. “Two hours tops, then we’re leaving. I’m not risking you staying longer than that. Okay?”
“You’re having too much fun ordering me around.”
“Yes, I am. Hawk looks good and . . . why is he staring at Dani like that?” I say, reveling in the way Rafael’s nose brushes softly along my neck and jaw.
He pauses long enough to sneak a look at Hawk, then Dani. “Holy shit!”
“Yep. He’s staring at her like he’s never seen her before. Oh, this is exciting.”
“No. You being this close to me is exciting.” He lowers those hot lips to mine, tracing the labret with his tongue. “I have a very weird obsession with this.”
“You’re too distracting,” I say, linking our fingers and dragging him toward Hawk, whose gaze trails Dani as she walks around the room. He actually cranes his neck to follow her when she heads toward the kitchen.
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