Silver Hawk almost committed a terrible offense by interrupting Sun Cloud, but Sun Cloud steadily continued his reasoning. “It is not the same as warring endlessly with the Crow and Pawnee: the whites do not count coup; they do not touch a man with a weapon or take his possessions; they kill and destroy. Indians, even foes, do not take another’s life easily or quickly, for we know the need and value of a warrior to his people and his family; we seek to defeat him in other ways, without death. Our Indian foes do not war each sun; they give time for the buffalo hunt and our other needs, which match theirs. They do not attack during sacred ceremonies, or attack like sneaky wolves who only wish to kill, not to count coup. The whites have no such feelings or honor.”
Sun Cloud knew he was being a little contradictory, but he needed to make these leaders think, think about this bitter war and think about peace. “How long can we keep destroying them and watching them destroy us? Surely they also grow weary of war and death. We must teach them how to live and feel and think as we do, or fight them forever. Which takes and reveals more courage, wisdom, cunning, honor, and patience: teaching and surviving, or warring and dying? From birth until death, must our lives be nothing more than one endless battle? I desire more for my people, more for myself. Is it not our way to retreat honorably when the odds are against us? My mother and my father went to the white lands and they saw the power and greed of our foes; that is why my father sought peace when it was good, and battled when it was not, as we must do.”
To get his points across, Sun Cloud used what the ex-scout Powchutu had related to him. “Eagle’s Arm, my father’s brother, visited the white lands and lived there many winters to study them; he told us the white lands are large and the whites are many and their weapons are terrible. Eagle’s Arm said the white-eyes had battled larger and stronger foes than all tribes banded together, and they had won those two battles in less than eleven winters. This space of time is nothing when compared to how many winters they have battled us, and they are not at full strength. Eagle’s Arm said, now that these white foes were conquered, more whites would enter our lands, and the white warriors who won those victories will be sent here to protect them. My father’s brother said they believe they purchased all Indian lands from those who came as trappers long ago and called themselves French and Spanish. Their people are many; they need and desire more lands, these lands. They will fight us for them, for they believe these lands are theirs,” he stressed to open their eyes and minds.
“To rush foolishly into battle accomplishes nothing but the deaths of many good warriors. We must teach them they are mistaken and greedy. We must teach them of counting coup, of how we battle; we must show them we do not slay good warriors unless they force us to defend our lives and lands. We must teach them the value of life, and the honor of a true warrior. I was born Oglala; I have lived as Oglala; and I will die as Oglala. I would never allow my people to be crushed beneath the bluecoats’ boots, but peace is survival. We must battle the whites until we can seek it with honor. What little white blood I carry from my mother’s mother does not enter or sway my thoughts.”
Big Elk stated, “Sun Cloud has proven himself to Grandfather and to his people, so your fiery words shot as wounding arrows must be withdrawn from his body. He does not fear to battle the whites; each plan we have made and accepted came from his sacred vision and cunning mind. You heard the vision, Silver Hawk; it spoke of war, but also of peace. Sun Cloud was commanded by Grandfather to seek it to save all tribes from total destruction. Even as you insulted him, he held a tight rein on his anger. Such control and wisdom are great coups.”
Silver Hawk recognized his error and quickly sought to correct it to keep from drawing unnecessary or suspicious attention to himself. “Your words are true and wise, Big Elk. I spoke too swiftly from the fires of my hatred which burn within my head and heart for the whites. I still suffer from the losses of Chief Medicine Bear and his sons at the hands of our white foes. I still suffer from the evil slaying of my second father Gray Eagle, which caused the death of my beloved second mother Shalee. It is hard to consider truce when a hunger for revenge and righting wrongs chews viciously at me. I was trained as a warrior, to defend my people, even with my life. Wisdom comes with age and experience, as with those of you who sit on tribal councils. That is why we need your guidance and knowing. Many evils of the whites trouble my mind these moons, for I know more of my people will die before we settle this new conflict. I forget I am not a chief, and we are no longer boys who can quarrel when we disagree. The taste of a truce with the whites is bitter in my mouth, but perhaps Sun Cloud speaks wisely. We must think of survival for our peoples and lands. I ask my brother Sun Cloud’s understanding and forgiveness.”
Sun Cloud knew Silver Hawk was lying, but he was doing it so artfully that others did not see through him. Sun Cloud smiled and said, “Many heads are hot against our foes this sun. Soon, we will cool them with victory and peace. Grandfather has spoken. I promise you, Silver Hawk; I will do all in my power to destroy all enemies of our peoples, white or Indian.” He smiled again and took his seat.
Sun Cloud sat around a small campfire with his friends Thunder Spirit and Soul-of-Thunder. He was thinking perhaps the Thunder beings, who controlled their names and influenced their Life-circles, had drawn them together and made them fast friends. To forget his worries, he coaxed eagerly, “Tell me of Tashina and your family.”
The Cheyenne warrior beamed with happiness as he began talking about his new wife, the sister of Thunder Spirit’s new wife. Sun Cloud could see how much love and joy his two friends were experiencing and he could not help but envy them. He had not dared tell the Cheyenne warrior of his misconduct with the promised mate of his wife’s father, and he continued to hold his defensive silence. Sun Cloud was closer to the son of White Arrow and knew he could trust him completely.
Sun Cloud smiled as he received news of Windrider’s wife, Bonnie “Sky Eyes” Thorne, who had been a close friend of Rebecca “Wahea” Kenny. He listened to tales about the children of Windrider and Sky Eyes: Three Son, Little Turtle, Heart Flower, and Sky Warrior. He wondered if the fifteen-year-old blue-eyed blond named Sky Warrior would remain with the Cheyenne; often life was difficult for a half-breed, and Sky Warrior’s looks loudly proclaimed him as halfblooded.
It was strange how the Life-circles and bloodlines of Running Wolf, father of Gray Eagle; Windrider, best friend to Bright Arrow; Black Cloud, father of the real Shalee who had married Powchutu who was the half brother to Gray Eagle and friend to Alisha who was wife to Gray Eagle and the alleged Shalee; and Brave Bear, adopted son of Black Cloud and father of Singing Wind and Silver Hawk, had crossed or mingled many times in the past and present.
Singing Wind… Her name warmed his very soul as it drifted across his mind. Thunder Spirit had agreed to leave early to allow him another meeting with her, if they could slip away safely at dawn. This had to be their last encounter before their joining, for it was dangerous to his rank and to her life to continue with them. If others learned he had been slipping around with his brother’s promised mate, they would doubt his words and motives. Too, his love had to remain in camp where she would be safe from the whites once they were riled.
His assignment included returning to the Oglala camp to summon and to prepare his band of warriors to intercept the soldiers from Fort James, which was eastward of Fort Dakota and farthest away. He had related his vision messages and his ideas to Big Elk, who had chosen which band would attack which group of bluecoats. He knew Big Elk was not sending him far away so that Bright Arrow could quickly complete his task and earn more coups to help him obtain more Oglala votes for chief. Big Elk had said to him, “As you return, you will pass the area which your brother must defend. Make certain all goes well with his band. This victory is vital to us.” Sun Cloud had grasped the underlying meaning of the war chiefs words, just as he realized who would receive Big Elk’s next vote for chief, if he lived long enough to cast it, which Sun Cloud
sadly doubted. That secret worried him, for Big Elk was to ride with Bright Arrow’s band…
Bright Arrow lay on his sleeping mat near his friend Windrider. He was glad Silver Hawk had been too busy to approach him to talk. He was angry with Silver Hawk for trying to shame his brother before the war council and to cast doubts upon Sun Cloud’s powerful vision. Twinges of alarm pulled at Bright Arrow. He had been watching Silver Hawk closely, furtively. He was concerned over what certain looks and words of the Blackfeet chief had revealed. He did not want to think he had been duped, but…
Bright Arrow was haunted by memories of his father’s visions and by his past vow to accept Sun Cloud as chief. He had witnessed his brother’s courage, daring, wisdom, control, and cunning. Gray Eagle had trained Sun Cloud to take his place, and Sun Cloud was both worthy and prepared, despite his younger age of twenty-three. Sun Cloud had never failed to obey their father or the Great Spirit; nor had Sun Cloud failed or weakened in his duty and loyalty to their people, as he had done long ago in order to possess a white “foe” as his wife. His white mother and his white wife had weakened Gray Eagle’s bloodline in him. Sun Cloud would marry an Indian girl, and his bloodline would remain strong. He had no sons, but his brother might have a son. Perhaps it was true that the Lifecircles, powers, and bloodlines of Running Wolf and Gray Eagle must pass through Sun Cloud. He wondered, was it such a terrible thing to be only a famed Oglala warrior? Being chief was a heavy responsibility. Was he as worthy and prepared as Sun Cloud?
Bright Arrow was plagued by the memory of how Windrider, from his love and concern, had once created a false vision for him; so he knew such a thing was possible. Tonight, he had grasped Silver Hawk’s hatred and envy of Sun Cloud. He knew there was something to Sun Cloud’s suspicions about a traitor, just as the deaths of Medicine Bear and his sons were very strange. His entire life kept wandering before his mind’s eye, and doubts were nagging at him constantly.
White Arrow placed his wrinkled hand on Bright Arrow’s brow and stroked it as if he were a small boy who needed comforting. The older man smiled and advised, “The truth fights fiercely within you, my son. Accept it and be troubled no more. It is time to cast aside foolish dreams and to do what must be done.”
Bright Arrow felt as if he had been given muchneeded permission to relent to his conscience. He returned the smile and nodded. “You are right, my second father, but it is hard. My friends and people trusted me. I will lose all face at this second defeat.”
In a voice of wisdom and gentleness, White Arrow refuted, “No, my son, it was meant to be this way. There is evil to battle, and Sun Cloud cannot do it as chief. You must be proud, for you are Grandfather’s weapon. Say nothing until the time is right.”
“How will I know when the time is right?” Bright Arrow asked, ready to end this heart-rending matter at once.
“When all things in Sun Cloud’s vision come to pass, it will be the right time. You will know it, for there are secret messages which he has told only you. Be at peace, my son; all he told you is true.”
Bright Arrow’s heart raced as he echoed, “All, my second father?”
White Arrow smiled and, although unaware of the secrets of Sun Cloud’s vision, but knowing it to be true and powerful, replied, “All.”
Bright Arrow watched his father’s lifelong friend and companion return to his sleeping mat. His mind called up Rebecca’s image and the pain of her loss knifed him brutally. No, he could not allow himself such a foolish dream. Sun Cloud was wrong; White Arrow was wrong; Rebecca had to be dead or lost permanently to him by now.
Rebecca stood at the edge of their camp along the Missouri River. She was extremely restless that night; she could not shake the intimidating feeling that something horrible was going to happen soon. In a few more days, she would be home again, after a year’s absence. She wondered what had taken place during that long and difficult period, and what was taking place in her love’s lands this year. The news she had received from that area was old, and situations changed rapidly, especially during the spring and summer.
Rebecca’s troubled mind asked why she was trembling so violently and why this aura of evil and peril seemed to permeate her entire body and even the air which surrounded her? Was she in danger or facing defeat? Was Bright Arrow in danger? Were her beloved girls in danger? She had lost one daughter at age four and one unborn child, and she could bear to lose no more children. She yearned to see Tashina and Little Feet; she had missed them terribly and worried about them each day. She was eager to see Shalee and Gray Eagle, for their days were numbered. She had missed her friends White Arrow, Windrider, and Bonnie. No, she corrected herself, Sky Eyes.
But most of all, she longed and pined for Bright Arrow. She closed her eyes and called his image to mind. He was so handsome and virile. They had been happy for years, ever since the Oglalas had allowed them to return to their camp and to join under their laws. Bright Arrow had been reborn; no, he had become more than he had been when she had met him. Her heart quivered with suspense and her body ached with need. She remembered how it felt to be locked in his arms, how it felt to be kissed and caressed by him, how it felt to feverishly share the fires of passion, and how it felt to rest serenely near him afterward. He was such a skilled and generous lover, and her flesh burned to have him cool her flames of desire.
Special times and places and ways they had made love drifted through her susceptible and dreamy mind. Her imagination was so vivid and her desires so immense that she could almost see him, taste him, feel him, smell him, and hear his voice. Leisurely nights of lovemaking and urgent bouts of mating in the daytime filtered through her thoughts.
The peaks of her breasts strained against her dress and they thrilled to his light touch as his fingertips circled and caressed them. When he began to nibble at her earlobe, she sighed in rising need. But when he found her aching and pleading peak below and massaged it, she moaned and reached for him, to urgently fuse their mouths. Despite her passions and hungers, she knew something was wrong; his face was rough with stubble, and Bright Arrow had none.
Rebecca pushed against the man who was nearly mindless with lust and who had taken advantage of her dreamy state. She did not want to scream or to cause an embarrassing scene for either of them, but she would if he did not release her. “Stop it, Jeremy,” she ordered.
His voice was hoarse and muffled as he vowed, “I love you, Becca. I need you. You’ve been driving me crazy for over a year. If I’m gonna lose you, at least let me have you once. Please, you owe me that much since you won’t love me or marry me. Lordy, woman, you can’t convince me you don’t want this too. Your body’s like a poker that’s been left in the fire too long. You were enjoying it, and I can make it feel even better. You want to burn up from denial?”
“No, Jeremy, this is wrong. I’m married to another man, and I love him,” she reasoned frantically, for his desire was making him strong and rough, and he had always been gentle and understanding.
Waves of sandy hair fell over his forehead and teased the bottom of his collar. His blue eyes exposed such deep and warring emotions. “I love you and need you, Becca. I’m begging you,” he entreated. “Your husband won’t ever know. Think what you’re denying us. I can make you happy, love, if you give me the chance.”
He was an appealing man in looks and virility, but he was not the one who had enflamed her body; dreams of Bright Arrow had. To slake her passions with another was wrong. She apologized softly. “I’m sorry if I aroused you, Jeremy. I honestly did not mean to. I was nearly asleep on my feet. I must be faithful to my husband.”
“I doubt he’s been faithful to you,” he scoffed in pain and need.
“Perhaps, but he probably thinks I’m dead,” she refuted.
“Does that change anything? How are you gonna feel when you get home and find another woman sleeping in your bed with your man?”
“If that problem arises, I’ll deal with it then,” she retorted. Jeremy was tall and husky, but she r
ealized he would not force himself on her. She could empathize with him, for they had been together over a year and, at most times, that year had been a good one, especially under the circumstances. She reasoned, “Would you feel the same if the husband I was forced to leave behind was you? You know how I feel about you, Jeremy. Why do you make this harder on us?”
Jeremy realized she was not going to yield to him or relent to her own desires. His had cooled slightly during their debate. He asked, “Will you make me one promise?” He did not wait for her response before continuing, “Will you marry me and return home with me if you can’t locate him, or if his life’s changed, or if “ he don’t want you back?”
Rebecca did not want to consider any of those possibilities, but she had to, in case one of them was true. “If you promise to stop tempting me until I can learn the truth, yes, Jeremy; I will marry you.” Why not? she asked herself. If her past was lost forever, she had to go somewhere and live somehow. She knew the fates of women who lost husbands and were left alone in this wilderness, and she could not endure such a despicable life. Besides, she was very fond of Jeremy; he was a good man, and he truly loved her.
Jeremy beamed with happiness and relief, for he could not imagine any man remaining alone after having and losing a woman like this. Too, this territory was dangerous and demanding on a trapper. If Clay Rivera was smart and lonely, he had made his fortune and left! One thing that gave him hope was the fact none of the other trappers, company or private, had heard of his rival. There was only one more trading post, then Fort Dakota. If nobody knew him or had seen him during this past year, Rebecca would be his. Six more days, and this tormenting wait would be over, then St. Louis and marriage…
Bittersweet Ecstasy Page 38