Beck and Danny each took a bucket.
Alex asked me if I wanted to dump a bucket over my head. “Um, no, I’ll only use the water to wash.”
“Wash Phoenix, he probably can use it.” Alex sniffed. “I know he needs to be changed.” Alex cringed. “Man, he reeks.”
I ran my finger down the baby’s precious face. “Is mean Uncle Alex making fun of you?” Then Phoenix smiled for the first time. My heart leaped. “Did you see that?” I asked Alex.
“Yeah. Do we even have diapers?”
“No,” I answered.
“Eh, let him go commando,” Alex joked.
Then Sonny said reverently, “Oh my God.” He walked over to me. “I didn’t even see him in your arms. Oh my God.”
There was something about the way he said that. His eyes glossed over as he inched even closer to look at Phoenix.
“Is this your son?”
“Not biologically, but in every other way, yes. I was there when he was born.”
“Alive,” Sonny whispered. “He was born alive.”
“Was this your home, Sonny?” I asked.
“Yes,” his words cracked. “I was supposed to be a father by now. My son … he …” Sonny took a moment, cleared his throat and shook his head. His hand hovered over Phoenix’s tiny head, and it trembled. “May I?”
Alex scoffed, “Sonny, she doesn’t let anyone …”
Before he could finish, I had handed Phoenix over to this stranger. I don’t know why; there was something about his blue eyes. I trusted him.
Obviously, this didn’t sit well with Alex or Beck, who, dripping wet, walked over as if I had committed a crime. He stared at me for a bit then watched Sonny as if he were timing him. I had never before seen that protective, even jealous side of Beck.
Alex looked annoyed.
However, that tense moment, at least for me, was broken when I heard laughter.
Laughter. It astounded me. Danny and Jessie were laughing, playing a game of water tag with Michael. Michael actually didn’t look too thrilled about it, but he smiled when they laughed.
True laughter. Just like when they were kids.
For a moment, I was swept away. It wasn’t the end of the world, it wasn’t the apocalypse; I was in my backyard. At any moment, I would tell them not to forget about their brother Jeremy; he’d want to play. Then Daniel would come out and yell that they were gonna turn the yard into a mud bath, and they were wasting too much water.
I didn’t hear anything else, didn’t see anything else for that moment. Then I snapped out of it.
“Guys, come on,” I called to them. “Don’t waste water.”
“It’s okay,” Sonny said soothingly, still focused on Phoenix. “I have plenty. In fact, in the house, if one of you wants to go in there, there’s a nursery. We were ready.” Sonny’s voice cracked. “Fully stocked. The diapers may be a little small, but they’re better than nothing.”
“I’m sorry,” I told him. “I am really sorry for your loss. I know. I lost my son, too.”
He nodded and handed the baby back.
Beck heaved out a breath as if he were holding it the whole time Sonny held Phoenix. “I’ll get the diapers.”
Sonny instructed, “Second door on the left.”
“Beck,” I said as he stepped away. “Inside it’s not …”
Beck held up his hand. “I understand.”
I watched Beck go into the house. I thought of what he’d see, the woman on the bed, the baby. They were Sonny’s wife and son. I felt sick. Did he know what had become of them? I was snapped from my thoughts by a single word from Sonny.
“Bathroom.” Sonny said as if he had a revelation. “I have a toilet in my man cave. Actually a bathroom. It works if you take a bucket with you and fill the tank.”
Now, that made me gasp with pleasure. “You have a toilet I can use?”
Alex asked, “You call the basement your man cave? Is that new, or did you always?”
“Oh, it was always my spot,” he replied. “Just head down, you can’t miss the bathroom, it’s to your right.”
I was thrilled. I handed Phoenix to Alex. “I’ll be back.” I almost skipped to the water pump. “Danny, can you carry two buckets of water down into the basement for me?”
“For what?”
I boasted proudly, “I’m going to use the toilet.”
“Two buckets?” Alex joked. “You have to go that bad?”
“Ha. Ha. Ha. No, I need to clean up. Hurry, Danny! This is so great.”
Danny murmured, “Oh my God.” I only looked back once more before darting down the steps into the cold cellar.
Or, as Sonny called it, the man cave.
To be honest, I didn’t even look at the basement when I got to the bottom of the stairs. I turned to my right, saw the gleaming toilet, and flew into the bathroom.
“Where do you want them?” Danny asked as he stepped in.
I looked around. The bathroom was enormous. There was some laundry hanging, probably left there to dry. A bar of soap was on the sink. I lifted and smelled it; I recognized the scent. Fells Naphtha. Potent. Perfect. At least for one day I’d smell fresh. “Leave one bucket on the floor and …” I lifted the ceramic lid to the back of the commode. “Pour one in here, please. Thank you.”
I know I was rattled. I spoke quickly and enthusiastically. Danny didn’t look all that thrilled; he didn’t seem to understand. He poured the bucket in as I danced in anticipation.
“Thank you, Danny. This is so great.”
“Mom, it’s a toilet.”
“Exactly. But I am still a woman, and in the apocalypse, this …” I pointed. “Right now this is a luxury.”
He smiled, laughed a little even. “I’ll leave you to enjoy your toilet.” He walked out, pulling the door closed behind him. When he did, my whole attitude changed. Hanging on the back of the door was a mirror, and for the first time in months, I saw my reflection.
Michael’s belief that Sleepers attract Sleepers had him placing mirrors everywhere facing away from the church, so the Sleeper would see its reflection and follow it. There were no mirrors inside the church. There were old religious relics and a few other things that we used, but our reflections were distorted.
Before me was my true reflection, the Mera of the Sleeper world.
I wanted to cry.
Every bit of heartache, every moment of pain that I endured had etched itself onto my face.
My eyes were dark; I had grown lines around my mouth. My face not only looked dirty, it was drawn and pale. What did I expect? Really? I wasn’t high maintenance or a beauty queen, however, I always took pride in my appearance. I always kept my hair styled in an easy cut. Daniel loved my hair longer. I never went out without wearing some sort of makeup, even if it was just powder and lipstick. I was that, ‘yeah, I think I’ll get in shape’ woman, starting a new diet when I gained weight. When I dropped a few pounds, I rewarded myself with ice cream or cake. I started exercise routines but never truly kept up with them. Still, despite the halfhearted attempts to keep fit, I was proud of my appearance and always tried to look good.
I did it for Daniel, because Daniel always told me that I was beautiful. Always. For all the years we were together, I never wanted to let him down. I loved the way he looked at me when I attempted to look special.
Sleeper-world Mera was not beautiful.
She was haggard, had lost weight, her clothing inappropriate for a screwed-up world. Nevertheless, Daniel would still tell me that I was beautiful.
How I wished he were with me.
Despite my best efforts, I broke down and cried. It had been a long time since I’d cried for my lost family. I buried it, tucked the pain inside of me. However, it exploded from me with this evidence of all that I had seen and felt. The world’s pain, every mother’s grief, I looked at it right there in that mirror.
And I sobbed.
* * *
My time in the man cave bathroom was not long. I kne
w we had to get on the road. I was in there long enough to use the bathroom and wash myself thoroughly, including my hair. Admittedly, I smelled like my grandmother’s laundry. That wasn’t a bad thing; it was one of those smells that brought back memories. I took a shirt that hung on the shower rod.
I heard voices in the other room, and I knew it was time to face them. I did feel a little better.
“She emerges,” Alex said when I walked out. He was smiling as he looked at me. His eyes shifted to mine, and he took on a serious gaze. “You okay, Mera?”
“Yeah, I am. Thank you.” I inhaled and noticed Sonny was packing. “Are you coming with us?”
“Yes, Alex and Beck invited me.”
“That’s great. I’m glad.” I tried to add some enthusiasm to my voice, but everything had just hit me, and I was wearing down. “I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed this.” I pulled at the shirt. “I have no clothes. I kind of lost everything at the last place we stayed.”
“No, I don’t mind at all. In fact …” Sonny snapped his fingers and turned around. He grabbed a rubber storage container. When he did that, I realized why he seemed familiar.
It was his boots.
I stared at them. In fact, I stared so long that Alex nudged me and whispered. “Are you staring at his backside?”
“No,” I chuckled sadly. “His boots.”
“His boots?”
“Yes. Sonny? Were you a line worker for the power company or in some sort of electrical job?”
Sonny gave me a strange look. “I worked for the power company restoring lines. How did you know?”
Alex answered. “Your boots.”
“I recognized your appearance,” I said. “The boots clued me in. They’re ASNI approved. God, I saw Daniel go through many of them.” I looked at Alex. “My husband worked for the power company. It’s weird…every career has a distinct appearance. You can tell a soldier, a fireman, a railroad worker … a power line guy… sorry. I’m rambling.”
“It’s fine,” Alex said. “In all the conversations we had, you never mentioned that Daniel worked for the power company.”
“I kind of tried not to think of Daniel. It hurt.” I choked on my words, trying not to cry.
Sonny handed a pile of clothing to me. “Some of my wife’s clothes. She was pregnant and stored these here. They may fit.”
“You sure?” I asked.
“Positive.”
“Thank you, I’ll go change.” I stepped back and watched Sonny for a moment. He continued packing. Alex helped by handing things to Sonny. Another person had joined our little group. We were almost complete with the exception of Randy.
I worried about him. Was he okay? Concerned for us? Were they treating him all right? I was sure they were. After all, Randy was special.
Very special.
I knew that no matter where we went, one thing was clear; I was not going to be satisfied until Randy was back with our little group.
I was convinced that everyone felt that way.
15. RANDY BRIGGS
The slow but steady trickle of water was the only disturbance in my room. The odor was rusty with a hint of mold. The single cot, however, was new, still wrapped in plastic. At least I had new bedding. My single bag of belongings perched on top.
They decided my fate long before they told me.
While it was extremely hot outside, it was cold in what I could only call my cell. They had locked the door. Despite the fact that no one said anything to me, I knew they wanted to keep me away from everyone.
I had done nothing. I realized there was anger regarding the helicopter going down, perhaps because they hadn’t left Phoenix behind.
Hours passed. I was in that room without food, water, or contact for hours.
Finally, the door opened.
Slipping through the small space was my friend, Demetrious. He and I had travelled together with one other man to find the Phoenix child.
The door shut and locked behind him.
I wanted to run to him, grab him with enthusiasm, but I was taken aback by his appearance. He was thin, frail, and dirty. He looked exhausted, like he had aged ten years since I’d last seen him.
“My God, what happened?” I grabbed his shoulders.
He closed his eyes and lowered his head. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
Demetrious exhaled and embraced me weakly. “May I sit? I don’t have much strength.”
I nodded as he made his way over to the cot. Immediately, I thought that something we had done had caused this deterioration in him, some ripple in time. If so, why hadn’t it happened to me?
“Forgive me, I haven’t eaten in days,” he said. “I had to beg them to let me speak to you. My time is short. Every day I think it’s my last.”
I moved to him, crouching before him. This man of forty looked in his sixties. “What is going on? Are you unable to eat?”
Demetrious laughed weakly. “No. You’ll eat. You’ll get food, minimally, until they don’t want you anymore. They need you for radio contact, I am certain, although they don’t tell me anything anymore.”
“Demetrious, what is going on?”
“I… I had to see you.” He coughed. “I’m glad they let me. I want to say I am sorry. I am truly sorry. With everything I am, I am sorry.”
I was confused. Why was he apologizing?
“Miles, the man from the prison,” he went on, “he knew. He overheard. He and I talked. We tried to break contact. We tried to keep you away, but they forced our hands. They used Miles’ people against us.”
I was as impatient as I was confused. “Where is Anthony?” I asked of our third traveler. “You said he was here.”
“I lied.” Demetrious’ head hung low. “He was killed in a Paler attack on the way to the New Jerusalem.”
“On your way here, you mean?”
“This …” he raised his eyes, “this is far from the New Jerusalem. We picked up a radio transmission and tried to follow it using the wisdom of the Doctrines. They have the answers, the facts we didn’t know. One of them was here. I spoke to him.”
“One of those from Project Savior?”
Demetrious nodded.
“My God.”
“He made the mistake of telling them everything. We tried to go to the New Jerusalem. This place got a hold of me before I could reach them. This place … here … we’re prisoners on death row awaiting our execution.”
“Prisoners?” I stood, catching my bearings. A part of me wanted to scoff at that. I had always known that Demetrious could be overly dramatic, but this was different. “You have to be mistaken. Exaggerating.”
“Do I look as if I am exaggerating?”
“No. But what crime did we commit?”
He looked seriously at me with eyes that lacked luster. With a cracking voice, he told me, “We saved the Phoenix child.”
16. ALEX SANS
There was still a lot to put together about Sonny. A lot we didn’t know, like who he was, what was his story, how long he was in his man cave. However, we had time. Mera kept trying to pick information from him, and I had to remind her we needed things to talk about when we settled for the night, and to let it alone for now.
I didn’t worry that he was a bad person. I had a good feeling about him, and I always trusted my gut. Of course, we had Mera as a backup who was adamant that power company workers were extremely reliable.
Sonny had a much better vehicle than the truck Pastor Mike had brought, a work van. We definitely needed a bigger vehicle, so we switched up. Sonny packed a little bit, not much, some personal items. He filled some large water jugs and had a little gasoline left in a tank on the side of the house. We punctured the tank on the truck and drained that, as well.
Finding gas was not a significant concern for me.
When we originally headed to the ARC, our van broke down, and we abandoned it to run for the roof of the hospital. We left many things behind.
It wasn
’t until we transferred things from Mike’s truck to Sonny’s van that I realized our recently identified Son of God had grabbed some things from our abandoned van, a few bags, including my medical bag and the case of survival things I had brought along.
I was grateful because in there was one of those wristwatch Geiger counters.
Yeah, I carried them at my Survival Haven. It was a popular seller at certain times of the year.
I think Mike just grabbed random stuff, because he didn’t take a thing of Mera’s. Radiation levels were acceptable, and we were hundreds of miles away from the blast, so we made a stop to pick up some personal items.
There were one or two Sleepers meandering around the parking lot of the discount department store we chose. I pulled up front, and Beck went inside to check. It was clear, so he and Mera went in. I felt it best if the rest of us stayed put.
We waited in the van. Danny held Phoenix, who was getting a bit fussy. We were cramped in there, even though it was a bigger van. Our supplies and belongings weighed down the roof and filled all extra space inside. It was hot, though getting out wasn’t an option.
The only one who seemed to accept everything was Jessie. She kicked her feet back and forth like a child, just sitting there staring out.
My eyes constantly darted as I watched the wandering Sleepers, the front doors of the store.
What was taking them so long?
Phoenix wailed; I knew he had to be hungry. I looked up to the rearview mirror. “Hurry up, Danny, and give him some of that Spam to suck on before your mother comes out.”
“Okay,” Danny said. “You sure it’s cool?”
“Yeah. He doesn’t have any teeth, so he won’t bite any off.”
Mike gasped. “What?? You can’t possibly be serious. Give a newborn Spam?”
“You got another option?” I asked.
No reply.
“Didn’t think so.” At that point, I heard the loud sucking coming from Phoenix.
“Dude, he likes this a lot,” Danny announced.
“See? I know what works.” I returned to my watch, but during our Spam exchange, Bargain Store Sleeper woman was making her way closer to the van.
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