He paused, the bottle half in, half out of the backpack. “You don’t have to make any big decisions today.”
“I do.” Elizabeth stood up straight and looked around them. “Bear Creek is a good place to raise children. And it doesn’t really matter if they’re ours or someone else’s. They all deserve love." Elizabeth turned to face the place where Dean’s father had taught him how to shift. “How many children have you brought up here and helped them shift for the first time?”
Dean fastened the backpack and then hefted it onto his shoulders. “More than I can remember.”
“Show me.” Elizabeth faced him, her eyes filled with excitement. “Please. I know you shifted last night, but it was so dark. I want to see you again. I want to walk with your bear, watch him move, and get to know him.”
His bear roared in anticipation. “I’ll make sure he behaves himself,” Dean promised Elizabeth.
“Is there a chance he won’t?”
“There’s a good chance he might drool all over you, and lick your face to see how good you taste.” Dean cracked a grin. “I’m not even joking.”
“I’m intrigued. I thought he looked like such a serious bear.” He sensed the thrill of anticipation that coursed through Elizabeth. She looked alive, invincible.
Dean winced as his bear shivered in excitement within him. “Now he’ll go out of his way to prove he is anything but serious.”
“I’m looking forward to it.” She closed the space between them. “I’ve spent my whole life being serious. I mean, I had fun with Suzie, but I never really let go. With you, I think I finally see that happening.”
“Oh, you don’t want my bear to decide to really let go.”
“We’ll see.” Elizabeth took hold of Dean’s hand and they walked back to the trail.
You will behave, Dean told his bear.
I always do, he retorted.
No, you don’t. You remember the time we went to a poker tournament down in Bear Bluff, and you danced in the street?
I lost a bet with a mountain lion, his bear answered. I had to.
You were not supposed to be gambling!
With some apprehension, Dean left the trail and walked across the rough ground to a small area, screened by low trees that clung to the mountainside. The breeze lessened and the ground was peppered with small yellow flowers that had forced their way through the hard ground to welcome the spring sunshine.
“Right here.” Dean pointed to the spot where he stood. “There’s a smooth rock you can sit on.” He pointed to a flat rock he had sat on countless times as he taught his kids to shift. As he watched Elizabeth sit in the same spot, his mind wandered back in time and he could see his father’s face, filled with pride and love.
A lump in his throat made him cough. His emotions were raw as he thought of what it would be like to have a child with Elizabeth. How wonderful to see the very first moment of a child’s life and be there every step of the way. That wasn’t to say that he wanted to give up on fostering, there was room in his heart, and his life, for both.
But a child!
A cub of our own, his bear enthused.
“I’m ready.” Elizabeth sat on the stone with her knees hugged up to her chin, a twinkle in her eyes.
Behave, Dean warned his bear once more, before he let go of his grip on his human body, and the air around him crackled and fizzled with static electricity. For a split second Elizabeth disappeared from view, and a sense of panic washed over him, but then his bear fought for control and pulled himself back to reality.
There was Elizabeth in the exact same spot, her cheeks flushed with excitement at seeing his bear once more. Unlike last night in the garden, she did not wait for him to approach her; she was off the rock, meeting him head-on, her fingers curling into his soft fur, before the hairs had settled on his bear body.
“You are really…real.” She sounded surprised, even though last night she had stroked him and touched him. “I went to sleep last night, knowing you were real, but when I woke up this morning, it just seemed impossible.”
He rubbed his snout against her thigh and inhaled her scent. Dean wanted to tell her he felt the same way, that in the cold light of the spring morning, he had taken his first cup of coffee of the day and gone out into the garden, and sat on the bench where they had kissed, and he had wondered if it had all been an amazingly lifelike dream.
But here they were. It was real, they were real.
Elizabeth knelt beside him and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his soft fur. “You smell of the mountains and the forest. You smell of damp earth and pine needles.” She inhaled again. “You smell like life.”
He rubbed his large head against her body, and huffed gently, his only way of telling her she was his life.
“Can we walk down the mountain together?” Elizabeth got up, and curled her fingers into the fur on his back, as if never wanting to let him go. His bear took a step forward and she walked side by side with him along the trail, heading back toward the forest.
Elizabeth didn’t speak much, but her hand never broke contact with him. His bear took it slow, and did behave himself. Dean could sense the pleasure his bear got from this close contact, and the bond that was forming between him and Elizabeth. If he had intended to play the fool, his bear had changed his mind, likely because there was something almost sacred about this time they were spending together.
Perhaps his bear’s sensible behavior was influenced by the setting, where so many shifters had taken that first step into a new part of their life. The memories of his father, and of the other kids whom he had shared such moments with, mingled with the excitement of picturing himself here with his own child, of teaching them how to shift, how to control that other side of themselves.
His bear pictured himself romping over the mountain with his own cubs, teaching them the best places to find wild honey, the coolest pools to lie in on a hot summer’s day, and the best itching trees, for when you had an itch that had to be scratched.
He walked side by side with Elizabeth along the trail until it thinned, and then he walked in front, guiding her back to the forest, and the shade of the trees. His bear wallowed in his happiness, rejoicing that they had found their soul mate.
Only when they got closer to the road did Dean tell his bear it was time for their human side to take over. His bear stopped and turned around, nuzzling Elizabeth’s hand, before he let Dean take back control. The air shimmered; he lost Elizabeth, as if they existed on different planes for a few seconds, and then his earthly surroundings came rushing back to him and he stood straight and tall on two legs.
“I have never seen my bear like that.” Dean kissed Elizabeth’s cheek. “You are a good influence on him.”
“He’s amazing.” She blushed a little. “He’s just so… There. In the moment. He makes me feel as if I don’t have to be anyone other than who I am right now.”
“There is something to be said for an animal whose main aspirations in life is a comfortable bed and food in his stomach.” Dean grinned. “And a mother for his cubs.”
Elizabeth frowned. “But if we do have a child, we don’t have actual cubs, do we?”
“No, they don’t shift until their teens.”
“Pity, little bear cubs would be so cute.” She held her arms up as if she were rocking their baby.
“Yeah, they would chew the furniture, and claw the lawn…” Dean laughed. “Just joking, it would be fun.”
Elizabeth stood and looked around, then said with a sigh, “It is so peaceful here. So quiet. Thank you for bringing me.”
“Anytime. You don’t have to thank me either, I’m happy you like the outdoors.” He spun around, and then pointed north. “When the weather is better, more settled, we could walk to Bear Bluff or Cougar Ridge. We could camp out underneath the stars.”
“I’d like that a lot.” She looked at her watch. “We should get back, I have some things I have to take care of. Then I need an early nig
ht. I can’t believe the day after tomorrow Suzie will be getting married.”
“You seem relaxed about it,” Dean told her.
“Only because I haven’t allowed myself to panic. I’m worried there will be a catastrophe with the garden. That the wedding tent might fall down or something stupid.”
“Can I do anything to help?” Dean asked. “I have a free day tomorrow, I am yours to command.”
“I don’t want to impose.”
“Hey, nothing is an imposition. Not for you. And not for Suzie, you know I love her like a daughter.”
“You know, when Suzie first announced she was getting married I was sure she would ask you to walk her down the aisle,” Elizabeth confessed.
“Me? No, she would always want her mom by her side. Of course, I would’ve been honored. But she loves you.”
“I thought she might think I’d say no, or not be able to go through with it.” Elizabeth did sound nervous.
“But you can. All these months of working on the garden, of getting to know people. You said yourself you are a different person.” Dean sensed her unease.
“I just hope that person doesn’t disappear when Suzie needs me most.” Elizabeth walked on, watching the ground as she lost herself in her thoughts.
“You won’t. And if you need me, I’m there. I’ll hold your hand every step of the way,” Dean promised.
“Thank you. I’m so lucky to have found you when I need you most.” Elizabeth stopped walking, and turned to him, her arm going around his neck, and she kissed him, hot and passionate. In this moment he knew she wanted him as much as he wanted her. The heat of her body resting against his, told of her burning desire, her longing to be with him.
Maybe he was getting a little carried away. But one thing he knew: as soon as the wedding was over, he was going to convince Elizabeth that their relationship needed to move forward.
He was going to propose.
Chapter Thirteen – Elizabeth
Yesterday had been incredible. Spending time with Dean, and his adorable bear… Elizabeth smiled. She was certain Dean’s bear would rather she called him strong, dependable, protective, but to her he truly was adorable.
Whatever she used to describe him would not encompass the way he’d soothed away her worries.
“You look happy,” Suzie said, coming into the kitchen where Elizabeth was making breakfast for the two of them. Kit had already left for the hospital to work his last shift before the wedding. He would be meeting them for dinner later, and then going to stay with his best man, and brother, Jacob, a ranger who lived up in the hills around the mountain.
“I am happy.” Elizabeth gave her daughter a genuine smile. “Really happy.”
Suzie gave Elizabeth a hug. “It shows on your face.”
Elizabeth tried not to feel self-conscious. “Dean is a wonderful man.”
“I told you he was.” Suzie sat down with a cup of tea, and Elizabeth pushed the plate of warm toast toward her. “I don’t think I can eat. Nerves are getting the best of me.”
“Which is why you need to eat. I’ve even brought your favorite spread.” Elizabeth produced a jar of chocolate spread.
“I have not had this for years.” Suzie popped the lid off and plunged a knife into the thick chocolaty goodness. “It’s too late to think of my figure.”
“We have a busy day, a few more calories are not going to make a difference.” Elizabeth buttered her own toast and ate it thoughtfully.
As she ate, Suzie flicked through a list of items. “Dean is going to meet us at Karen’s at ten. We can check everything, make sure it’s perfect for tomorrow. The flowers are arriving just after lunch. And the caterers are going to begin setting up ready for tomorrow.”
“Sounds as if you have it all under control.” Elizabeth watched her daughter’s face as she studied the lists she’d made. Suzie had always been organized and thorough, even at school, but this was different, this was more personal. The crease on Suzie’s brow made Elizabeth wonder how well she was coping. “Suzie, it is all under control.”
Elizabeth reached out for her daughter’s hand, and gave it a squeeze, once again feeling guilty she had not shouldered more of the burden.
“I know, Mom. I’m so nervous, though.” Suzie put her piece of toast down on her plate, and her face crumpled. “I want it to be perfect. I have it in my head that if today is perfect, then the rest of our married lives will be perfect too.”
“That’s not how life works,” Elizabeth told her gently.
“I know.” Suzie wiped her tears away. “I keep telling myself that. I keep telling myself I’m being stupid.”
Elizabeth left her chair and went around the table to hug Suzie. “You’re not stupid. Take it from a woman who thinks she’s wasted her life being a scared hermit.” She rested her head on Suzie’s shoulder. “I wish I could have been more of a role model for you. You forged your way ahead, despite me.”
“Not despite you. Because of you. I know how hard you tried. I saw it on your face every time you came to a watch me, whether it was sports, or graduation, you were there. I always searched for your face in the crowd, and I always found it. You never once let me down.”
“So let’s get through this day together. And then tomorrow you will marry that amazing man of yours, and start a new life. If the day goes wrong, you will still have an amazing man, who loves you more than anything, and you will still have your new life together. Nothing will change his love for you.” Elizabeth hugged Suzie so tightly. “Part of me wishes we could stay here like this forever, you will always be my little girl. Yet a bigger part of me knows now what you have with Kit will be even more special.”
“Mom…” Suzie hugged her mom close. “We’re both about to begin a new part of our lives, a different part. But I will always treasure my childhood.” She wiped away her tears. “It’s why I chose the job I did. I want every child to experience being happy, and being loved. You taught me it didn’t matter if you have one parent or two.”
Elizabeth wiped her own tears away and stood up. “Eat your toast, and then let’s go and enjoy today.” She pressed her hand to her cheek, determined that no matter what she did, she would not let her birthmark make her shy away from being the mom Suzie needed her to be.
“Thanks, Mom.” Suzie ate her toast, and then they both got ready to leave the house, with Suzie gathering up her lists into a folder. Then they took Elizabeth’s car, and headed over to Karen and Scott’s house. The weather was perfect, and the forecast looked as if tomorrow would be more of the same. Spring sunshine, with just the hint of a breeze.
Elizabeth parked outside Karen’s house, and they both got out. “It all looks perfect.”
In the last couple of days Karen had spruced up the outside of the house, and there were planters overflowing with spring blooms lining the driveway, along with wedding bunting and balloons, so that all the guests would know which house was hosting a wedding.
“Karen and Scott have worked so hard.” Suzie glanced at Elizabeth. “Just like you have.”
“I’m so happy you found a man who gets along well with his family. One misfit is enough.”
“You are not a misfit. But I’m glad we are not going to have to plan Christmas get-togethers, while taking family politics into account.”
“Christmas…” Elizabeth stood staring at the house in front of her, at the flowers and the ribbons tied to the trees out front. It symbolized everything that was changing in her life. As they walked through to the backyard, Elizabeth was struck by how the work she had done on the garden had transformed it, which in turn mirrored her own life.
“It will seem strange.” Suzie threaded her hand into Elizabeth’s. “You, me, and the Christmas tree, it’s all I can remember. Playing dolls and dress up, making Christmas lunch. Going for a walk around the local park after lunch.”
“You’ll make your own traditions, you and Kit.” Elizabeth stopped and turned to Suzie. “Before the day explodes into a hive of
activity, I want to tell you how much I love you.”
“I love you too, Mom.” Suzie hugged Elizabeth tightly.
“Now, let’s get started.” Elizabeth stepped forward, confident and determined to see this through. Suzie deserved a special day, and she was going to have it. Elizabeth didn’t want any disasters to come along that might make Suzie question if a happy ever after was possible.
Just like Suzie, Elizabeth needed to believe it was possible. For everyone.
The sound of the back door opening signaled the start. Karen and Scott came out to meet them.
“I’m so excited, and so terribly nervous,” the usually calm Karen confided.
“Karen tossed and turned all night,” Scott added. “I told her everything is ready, but she’s still panicking.”
“It’ll all be fine.” Suzie sounded confident, casting off her own earlier fears to ensure they were not passed on to Karen. “We’ve got it all under control.”
“Good, then let’s have coffee and formulate a plan,” Scott said. “I have today off work to help out.”
“And here comes Dean too.” Karen waved. “Hi, Dean, we’re about to have coffee and make a plan.”
“Sounds as if I arrived just at the right time,” Dean said easily, as he walked up to Elizabeth and kissed her cheek. “Suzie, you look wonderful.” He hugged her close. “You are going to make the most beautiful bride.”
“Thanks, Dean, and thank you all for everything. And I apologize in advance if I get a bit teary today.” Suzie beamed a broad smile at Dean, but Elizabeth could see she was forcing it, her nerves were still there under the surface.
“You won’t be the only one,” Karen said, her expression changed to one of shock. “Not because we don’t want you as a daughter-in-law,” Karen added hurriedly. “We couldn’t be more happy that you are Kit’s mate.”
Scott rolled his eyes and hugged his wife. “Suzie knows that, you’ve told her enough times.”
Karen laughed, and punched Scott playfully in the stomach, while she swallowed down her tears. “We wish you and Kit all the happiness in the world, and all the babies you could possibly want.”
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