“She’s a wonderful woman. I don’t know how I would have survived these past years without her.”
“She’s the loveliest woman I’ve ever met,” he said. “Besides you, of course.”
“Well, her beauty comes from deep within. You’ll not find a finer person.” She thought to warn him about Violet’s xenophobic mother, but held her tongue. There would be time.
“I’ve been thinking the same thing myself but thank you for confirming it.”
The carriage pulled up to Ahlquist House, and Cathryn began to shake as she considered telling Julian about the attack. Rune reached across to her seat and put his large hand over hers. “I’ll come in with you, shall I?”
“It’s not how I pictured entering Ahlquist House.” She granted him a strained smile. “Perhaps I should have waited to meet the staff before planning my first house party.”
Rune returned her smile. “He wants to see you.”
The door opened and a footman stood ready to assist her.
“And I, him.” Suddenly, nothing mattered more.
Rune ushered her up the front stairs of the palatial residence, and a butler opened the door for her and bowed deeply. “Good afternoon, Lady Sibley.”
She wondered how he knew who she was, but the deep golden tones of the vast hallway, adorned with three spectacular flower arrangements, distracted her. Julian had exquisite taste.
The butler reached for her cloak. “I’m Millman, my lady. Welcome to Ahlquist House.”
“Thank you, Millman. I’ve come to check on the earl.” She untied her bonnet and handed it to him.
“He’s doing well, my lady. The doctor’s with him as we speak.”
Rune leaned over and said something Cathryn didn’t catch in her effort to take in the decoration. Graceful Greek sculptures on pedestals in the four corners, Louis XVI furnishings, polished parquet floor.
Beautiful…and soon to be hers. She wouldn’t change a thing.
“I’ll show you up myself, my lady.” Millman gestured to one of four footmen standing in the enormous entrance. “Bring tea straightaway, and her ladyship likes plenty of cream, same as the earl.”
The footman disappeared, and Cathryn smiled as Millman led her to the stairs, imagining Julian telling his staff about her likes and dislikes.
Rune did not follow, and she turned when he said, “I’ll leave you in Millman’s capable hands, Lady Sibley, and return within the hour with your things.”
“And Mrs. Pickering’s as well, please.”
He was halfway out the door. “I’ll try to persuade her to come.”
Cathryn faced Millman. “I know it’s terribly bold of me, but we’ve had another scare, and—”
“You needn’t explain yourself to me, my lady. We keep a dozen bedrooms ready for guests.”
“Thank you.”
They had reached the top of the staircase and started down a long hallway. “May I say, my lady, on behalf of all the staff, how pleased we are that you’ll be our countess.” They reached a juncture, and Millman led her to the left down another long corridor.
“Thank you, Millman.” She had a thousand questions to ask as the new mistress of the household, but it would all wait. She only wanted to see Julian.
They reached an impressive gilded doorway and the butler smiled warmly. She waited in the hallway as he knocked and entered the room.
“Lady Sibley, my lord.”
“Here?” she heard Julian exclaim. “Show her in, man.”
He was seated in a chair by the fireplace, but he rose with some effort when he saw her. “Cathryn, is anything amiss?” A man she recognized as his physician rose with him.
“No, my lord. Not really, but—”
“Leave us,” he said as he came to her side, and Millman bowed and left. The doctor went to collect his bag and Julian stopped him, “I’m sorry. You two have met, of course.” He took her hand in his and kissed her fingertips as he searched her face.
Dr. Loudon bowed to her. “How’s your shoulder, Lady Sibley?”
“Very well, thank you, I barely notice—”
“You’ve been cut,” Julian interrupted. “What happened?”
Tears welled up and her corset suddenly felt terribly tight. “Hedges came to the poorhouse today.” She went weak in the knees, and the doctor and Julian both caught her and helped her to a chair.
“He did this to you?” Julian cupped her chin and stared closely at the cut.
“Yes, but the children stopped him before he…hurt me.”
Julian released her with a huff. He took three long steps to the nearest wall and put his fist through it with a loud crack that resounded throughout the spacious room. A gaping hole remained in the plaster when he turned to face a stunned Cathryn and the doctor. “Treat her, please, then leave us.” He shook his hand a few times, and his face was grim.
“My cut was cleaned with alcohol and we put ointment on it,” Cathryn said quietly to the doctor who stood gawking at Julian. “I think you can go.”
The man glanced at her jaw and nodded. “Yes, it looks fine. You might want a quarter dose of paregoric tonight to help you sleep.” He looked back at Julian. “And you, my lord, shall I have a look at that hand before I leave?”
Cathryn stared at the perfect circle in the crimson wallpaper, while Julian allowed the doctor to inspect his hand. What did it say of him that he reacted so violently? She did not question the provocation; indeed, she wished she had done something similar instead of allowing her anger to weaken her. “I’ll ask Millman to send up some ice, but I don’t believe you’ve damaged anything.” The doctor packed his bag quickly. “I’ll return tomorrow. Just do whatever you did last night, you’re healing splendidly.”
Cathryn and Julian shared a small smile as the doctor closed the door behind himself. Julian came to her and dropped lightly to his knees beside her chair. “Stay with me tonight. The doctor ordered it.” He took her hands in his and kissed her fingers. She nodded down at him as he curled at her feet. “I shall obtain a special license tomorrow so I can keep you with me until Hedges has been dealt with.”
“I’ll not be a bigamist, Julian, not even for you.” She kissed his glistening brow. “But I’ll defy society and stay with you while we take the devil to court.”
Three hours later, Cathryn and Julian sat across from Violet and Rune in the small drawing room off the master suite. Julian insisted that she join him in wearing informal clothing, and Vi and Rune followed their lead after they saw the secluded space where they would dine in privacy. After a light meal of fish and vegetables, served with a crusty loaf of warm white bread and fresh butter, Cathryn was pleasantly full. A plate of fruit and small pastries remained on the low cherry table between the twin settees, alongside the nearly empty bottle of white Bordeaux and four crystal wineglasses.
Rune had just shared his version of the events at Oxford, and Julian was looking exceptionally heroic to Cathryn. It all sounded terribly chivalrous.
“I wish I’d finished the task. One never leaves a wounded animal, they’re too dangerous.” Julian reached for the wine bottle and emptied the contents into Cathryn’s glass.
She glanced at the two empty bottles over on the side table. “I’ve had enough to drink, thank you, darling.” She scratched his back lightly. “You wouldn’t want his death on your conscience.”
Julian exchanged an odd glance with Rune, and Cathryn suspected he wouldn’t mind Percival’s death a wit. He would probably be glad to deal the blow, but living with the result might be difficult.
He shrugged and downed the white wine in a gulp. “Shall I ring for tea?”
“Yes, please. My head is spinning, I’m afraid.” They had started with sherry.
“Stay there, please.” Vi rose from her seat to pull the cord. “I can’t believe you’re up and about so soon.”
“My assailant either knew what he was doing and did not intend to kill me, or he was an amateur, and I am very lucky. Sore, but lucky eithe
r way.” He settled back and took one of Cathryn’s hands in his. “But I don’t think he and his cronies were amateurs.”
Cathryn smiled and squeezed his hand. “I do wish you could have seen the children today, saving the day with their wooden swords.” The memories were bittersweet, and she blinked back tears. “I hope we’re able to see their performance.”
“You glow when you speak of them. I look forward to thanking them in person. I thought we could go tomorrow afternoon.”
“You must remember to wear shoes with ties instead of your boots.”
He brushed back a strand of her hair and caressed her cheek lightly. “I’ve asked Millman to obtain boots for the children, very much like the ones I prefer to wear for day. I believe he’s employed every cobbler in London. They should be there by the afternoon.”
She thanked him with a brush of her lips.
Violet clapped her hands. “Well done, Julian. The children will adore that.”
She seemed in fine spirits, and Rune gave her an adoring look. “Could we take our tea in your room, darling? These two look worn out, and we should let them get some rest.” He rose and tightened the black belt to his dressing gown.
Vi stood beside him and placed her hand on his chest. “Remember?”
“That doesn’t matter. I only want to be near you.”
She turned her look to Cat. “It’s the full moon tonight.”
As if prompted, an unwelcome twinge struck Cathryn in the lower belly. Her courses, and Vi’s, aligned with the moon.
A stronger cramping erased her doubts as the couple exited the room, and she was glad she would have laudanum to ease the pain. When she went to the necessary and saw tinges on her gown, she knew for certain and her heart sank. More evidence that she might be barren.
She was glad that she and Julian had made love hours before, and wondered if he would want her to sleep in her own bed tonight. Vi had packed rags for her, and she felt a sharp pang of fear as she changed into her nightgown. Her hands shook as she secured the ends of the cotton clothes. She dreaded telling Julian.
He had two doses of laudanum in front of him when she returned to the sitting room. “When I roll over in bed, love, it does ache a bit, so I think another night or two for me.” She imagined his wound and bruises did more than ache. Her own heart ached as she reached for her dose.
“I hate to spoil our evening, but it’s…my monthly curse.” She sipped half the spoonful as she wondered how he would respond, avoiding his eyes for fear of what she might see there.
His gentle tone soothed her. “This will be a first for me, love, but I’d like you in my bed.” He took half his dose as well and replaced his larger spoon by hers. “We’ll be like an old married couple.”
If he shared her frustration over her continued barrenness, it didn’t show. She wished to be brave about it, but she wanted his child badly, needed to prove she was a fit wife for an earl. It had been a terribly long day, and she was drained. Tears filled her eyes as she faced him. “I will gladly share your bed, but I won’t wed you until I conceive.”
“I have no intention of releasing you from our agreement.” He drew her into his arms for a long hug. When he pulled back, it was with a smile. “I’m willing to gamble you’ll bear me a son.”
His faith was reassuring.
He settled her into his good side and they both watched the fire Millman had stoked. “Do you have any children?” she asked in a small voice. He was thirty-five and exceptionally virile, so it didn’t seem far-fetched.
“I do, actually. Two daughters, although neither one knows I’m her father.” He swallowed hard before he continued. “I’m afraid I cut quite a swath through Europe on my grand tour. Four years, just out of Cambridge, with my liberal allowance.” He chuckled. “I barely remember any of it.”
“Why not?”
“I was drunk from noon to midnight most days.”
“Trying to forget Fiona?”
There was a long pause, with the ticking of the grandfather clock, the crackle of the fire and the steady pounding of his heart bringing her solace in spite of her nagging doubts.
He inhaled deeply before he spoke. “In part, yes. She put a hole in my gut worse than the duke’s men did, and she kept twisting the blade over the years.”
“And yet, you refused her.”
His arm tightened around her. “I’ve come to care for you a great deal.”
It wasn’t precisely what she yearned to hear, but it was comfort enough, and she nuzzled into him as she said, “And I, you.”
They were still for several minutes, and she wondered if he was thinking about what he had missed with Fiona. If he regretted his decision, she saw no evidence of that in his behavior of the past few hours.
She relaxed until her curiosity rose again. “Do you see them—your daughters?”
“No, I never have. One is in Prague, and the other in Paris. I correspond annually with their mothers, and I have set aside funds for them should their mothers decide to tell them the truth.” He lifted her chin and kissed the tip of her nose. “If it’s important to you, we could visit. I wouldn’t mind seeing them. In fact, I’ve always wanted to, but I haven’t left England since I came into my properties.”
“I would like to meet them…discretely, of course.”
“I’ll make inquiries. One’s a princess—she’s twelve—and the other’s a commoner, a merchant’s daughter. She’s eleven next month.”
“No princes?” she teased.
“None I am aware of, but it wouldn’t surprise me to meet my image on the street anywhere on the continent.”
“Oh.” She wasn’t sure if she should be proud of his virility or disappointed at his morals.
“May I ask you a very personal question?”
“Of course.”
“Were you a maiden on your wedding night?”
“Oh, yes. Geoffrey was terribly proper. I would have given myself to him after our engagement, but he insisted we hold off.” She forced herself not to think about his years of deception.
“So, I’m only the second man you’ve known?”
Her heart began to pound wildly. Damn, she wished he had not asked her that question. Her mouth went dry, and she prayed he would move on to another topic.
“Cathryn?”
She swallowed hard. “No,” she whispered.
He lifted her chin to look in her eyes and the softness had left his voice when he said, “Were you unfaithful to him?”
She didn’t think of herself that way. The last four months of Geoffrey’s life, he had been unconscious—a living corpse—and for a year before that, he’d been a shell of a man. She had said goodbye to her husband, but she knew Julian wouldn’t understand her reasoning.
“One of the physicians was comforting me—after Geoffrey was gone.” It was a small lie compared to the larger truth, and she had no desire to incur Julian’s wrath. She looked back at the fire, hoping he had not seen the deception in her eyes. “It led to a seduction.”
“Who?” His voice had softened slightly, and she took a deep breath to calm herself. The worst was over. She couldn’t remember ever lying before, excluding her altercation with Hedges in Oxford, but this felt the safest course of action. Julian would never learn the truth, and no real harm was done.
She held no tender feelings for the man who had drained her savings and saw no reason to deepen the deception. “Dr. Kinsley.”
“I don’t know him.”
Good. “It was only the one time, and I barely remember it.”
“Why?”
The memory lay buried under years of shame and grief. “I was… sedated.” She felt him tense beneath her back, and he eased away to look her in the face.
“He drugged you and then forced himself on you?”
“No, I didn’t protest.” That much she remembered. “I believe I encouraged the seduction, but I had taken a small dose of paregoric.”
She remembered it now, and shame and titi
llation shared the bulk of her emotions. After the handsome physician examined her over her nightclothes, he asked if there were any personal needs that wanted attention. She told him about the prickly rash on her thighs, and she lifted her gown herself, and spread her legs for him. When he touched her slick inner lips, she moaned instead of pushing him away, and she nodded when he rose over her to undo his trousers. She had wanted him desperately, welcomed him into her body and, while the sensations were glorious for a few minutes, she suffered a deep ache of unfulfilled desire for hours when he left her more in need than ever.
When Geoffrey died three days later, she saw the doctor at the funeral, escorting a woman heavy with child, presumably his wife. Cathryn barely noticed him, and it wasn’t until later that day that she realized what she had done. Double adultery, although she spun it into a harmless affair once she found she was not breeding with the doctor’s issue. A small bit of comfort during a bleak period of her life, a sin confessed and nearly forgotten.
“Is that why you didn’t mention it when I asked you before?”
“Yes. I thought of it afterwards, but the timing was poor. I’m glad you know now.” She heaved a sigh of relief. It did feel good to be done with the telling of that tale.
“We should have no secrets between us. They grow to be walls, and I want you where I can see you.” He sat forward and handed her a spoon with the last of her dose. “I think we should retire early. We see the solicitor tomorrow at eleven, if you’re feeling up to it.” He had taken her disclosure very calmly, and she hoped this would be the last time they discussed it.
She downed her medicine, glad for the relaxing effects she was already experiencing. “I’ll be up to it. I’m eager to see justice done.”
Chapter Fourteen
The Ahlquist solicitor wore a disapproving frown as he listened to the account of the past three days. He tsked loudly. “Yes, I read the accounts in the morning’s papers. A knife to his throat, in front of a hundred witnessing essayists?” He tsked again.
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