by Dawn Gray
"Will it hurt?" I asked him. He shook his head.
No, there is no pain involved. He replied to me. I nodded to him then and he took my other hand. Look into my eyes; hold them there as long as you can. When you can’t hold any longer, you won’t remember anything that happened between us this morning, but you’ll remember everything else.
I looked into his eyes, the ones that were so silver before, were now dark and dangerous. I felt something for Quinn, something I shouldn't, a deep lust that seemed to ignite every time he touched me. I thought about the events of that morning, but they seemed to fade out before my eyes and the last thing that I remembered before arriving at home was Quinn telling me to get dressed, but this all lingered in the back of my mind as if something were missing.
When I opened my eyes, I looked at the house in front of me, and Quinn was just getting out of the car. He opened my door and looked at me. He reached out a hand, which I took as he pulled me out and walked with me back to the house, where Michael and David greeted me with a warm embrace.
Michael stopped and talked to Quinn as David led me to the parlor. Later that night, as I stood in the sitting room, by the window, looking out over the green grass to the ocean, I heard Quinn come in with someone. I assumed he was a business associate, so I didn't bother running out and talking to him to see if he had heard anything about Jack yet.
I stood there, dressed in a black skirt and a wide neck black shirt, with my arms crossed over my chest, hugging myself. I was thinking about Julian, trying to figure out if he was out there somewhere, and I wondered if he could hear me when I wished that he were there with me. My thoughts were interrupted as Quinn stepped in the room with a young man. I turned, wanting to say something that was on my mind.
"Quinn, I ..." As I looked up, after I turned completely, I stopped dead sentence as I looked at the young man that had walked into the room with Quinn. His long black hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail, he was dressed in navy blue work suit that seemed to fit him quite well in all the right places, his green eyes seemed to pierce my soul as I looked into them and his childish facial expression of total awe and surprise seemed to make my heart stop. Suddenly, I caught my breath, inhaling as deeply as I could to slow my racing heart. "Julian."
The name just flowed off my tongue and I wasn't sure who was more surprise to hear it, him or I, but the shock seemed to get me as my knees weakened and I began to fall to the floor. Arms were around me, strong arms, and my vision cleared as I looked into those green eyes up close.
"Ashley?" I heard that sweet voice from my past whisper in my ear as he held me close to him. I couldn't answer him; my mind was slipping into an unrealistic world, a world of darkness and dreams. As Julian's voice slipped further away from my conscious mind, my subconscious seemed to find the memories that Quinn had wanted me to forget.
I felt his hand in my hair and his strong arm on my back. His moist lips on my neck and then those razor sharp points on my neck, then the pain. How could I have forgotten that pain? It had been like nothing I had ever felt before, pain so intense that I couldn't move. At the same time, as I thought back to it, I remembered also feeling the ecstasy under it. Quinn had unlocked the vampire in me, which I knew now, but it seemed that Julian would have to be the one to help me control it.
Julian, how the name seemed to bring new light to my world. How just the thought of him seemed to make everything clearer. I thought to myself, as I stood just outside the darkness, how much I needed him again. To feel myself wrapped in his arms, this helped me find the light in the darkness, and I followed that light and slowly opened my eyes.
6
A gentle hand rubbed my forehead with a damp cloth and when it moved away, I looked into the face of a young woman, a blond haired woman about my height, but she seemed very sophisticated. I pushed her hand away when she went to brush my head again. I sat up quickly and looked at her, as she looked at me oddly.
"Quinn!" She said in a moderately loud voice, and I assumed that she said it with her mind. Slowly, the door opened and Quinn walked in. He smiled at me, which I saw from the corner of my eye, as I stared at this new woman.
"Ash, this is Cleo Danzeiger," he whispered in my ear as he pried my fingers from this woman's wrist. I looked at him suddenly, with a gasp, and he looked me in the eyes. "Ash, are you alright?"
"Julian?" I asked him. He smiled at me and then giggled under his breath.
"He's downstairs," Quinn smiled.
"Then he wasn't a dream?" I questioned him again. Quinn shook his head. I climbed out of the bed quickly, very unaware of the fact that I was only wearing a long tee shirt, which barely covered my butt. I walked passed Quinn, in my bare feet, and made my way down the stairway. As I reached the bottom I faintly heard Cleo calling my name, but I looked up and down trying to sense where Julian was.
I turned and made my way toward the sitting room, where I had fainted the night before, and stopped in the large doorway to look at the back of the young man who stood almost exactly where I had been standing the night before. Now, he wore blue jeans, a white tee shirt small enough to show off his muscles, and black boots. I held my breath for as long as I could, but then exhaled loudly. He turned slowly to look at me and I took a couple steps into the room. He came closer to me, but also stopped.
"You feel so right," I said softly, feeling my throat thicken and my eyes fill up with tears. I put my hands over my mouth to calm myself and then I moved them and sighed. "After all these years, I can still feel you in my blood, in my heart. You still feel so right to me."
"Ashley," he whispered. I could feel the emotion in him, as he tried so hard to hold back the tears in his own eyes. "I've missed you so much."
I longed to hold him, to touch him, to feel the power he held over me, but I didn't move. I still couldn't believe it was him. I couldn't bring myself to imagine that I was standing in the same room with Julian and he was real. However, as his arms started to rise, to beckon me to him, I found my movement, and my feet started to move. Before I knew it, he was holding me so tight that he picked me off the floor, and he was kissing my cheeks.
He set me down on my feet and looked into my eyes, touched my face and my hair. He traced my lips with his fingers, with his shaking hand and then he kissed me fully on the lips and the fire sparked again and this time there was no extinguishing it. When he backed away, still holding my face in his hands, he laughed softly.
"My God, you’re shaking," he said to me, then backed away and his smile widened. "And, you're half naked." I suddenly felt the cold breeze on my bottom and looked down at the fact that my pants were nonexistent. I laughed at him, then turned and looked at Cleo standing in the doorway, with her hands over Quinn's eyes as she smiled at me and waved my pajamas bottoms in the air. I walked over and took them from her, slipped them on quickly, and watched her let go of Quinn. Julian walked over to me and took my hand. His face was sad and his eyes were filled with a deep sorrow. "I'm sorry about your son."
"Jack is fine. I could feel his presence yesterday," I said and then realized what I had said. I looked at Quinn and smiled. "Quinn, without her help I felt him, in fact ..." I looked back at Julian, "I felt him when you walked into the room."
"Well, Julian's presence has always been the strongest to you," Michael said walking into the room. He looked from me to Julian and smiled. "Maybe, since the two of you are so connected, Jack found a way to find Julian, which also brought him to you."
I turned and left the room suddenly. I knew it left the others a bit confused, but I was even more confused. I walked outside and stopped just before the steps leading off the patio. I felt Julian behind me and I turned and looked at him. My heart fluttered, but I couldn't say anything. I just stepped off the porch onto the grass and made my way around the house, not really looking where I was going.
Julian followed me, this I knew without looking back. I could hear his jeans moving, but he stayed well enough behind. The wind blew my hair in all di
rections as I walked across the damp grass, heading down to the small theater that was located down near the water. I walked onto its cold red brick and down the steps to the front of the small stage. I turned in a circle and then sighed. Julian stepped onto the red brick floor of the outside theater and looked up at me from there as he played with his fingers. I looked at him, standing there innocently, and I wanted to cry, but I didn't. I stepped back to the railing at the back of the stage and looked out over the ocean. He walked down and stood by me.
I shivered and rubbed my arms with my hands. He touched me and then moved away. I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just said whatever seemed to come out when I opened my mouth.
"I used to hide here at night," I told him softly. "After my parents feel asleep, and I knew that I wouldn't be heard, I snuck out of my house and walked over to this place and sat on this very wall and sang to myself. I sang to you and I talked to you and I missed you, but then again, I didn't know it was you that I missed so much. I had no idea why this place infatuated me so much, but I knew that it was linked to the hole in my heart, the one I just couldn't quite fill."
I turned and looked at him as he now looked out over the water, away from my eyes and he smiled shyly, as if he had been caught peeking at a present. I laughed at him and then walked over to the bench and sat down. He turned and leaned against the rail and looked at me.
"I watched you, you know." I smiled at him. "When we came back to visit, for the first couple summers, I watched you from right where you’re sitting. You would walk over the walkway, over there, and stand on the deck and watch the waves come crashing into the shore. Your hair would be down and the wind would blow it wildly around, and I didn't know why I looked, but I couldn't take my eyes away. I told myself that if I were smart, I would walk up to you and say hello, because I had never seen you with a girl, and boy wouldn't my mother freak out when I brought you home." I laughed at him and he smiled as he watched me.
Julian walked over to me and knelt on the ground, in front of my legs. He put his hands gently on my waist and looked deep into my eyes. He sighed quietly and then leaned close to me.
"I watched you, too." He laughed at me. I smiled and touched his cheek. "I saw you from my room, every afternoon, walking over here and I thought about how much I just wanted to run down and hold you in my arms and kiss you." His face grew solemn and he lowered his eyes. "Quinn would tell me that it was all right to think I had lost you, because then I would be twice as happy when I found you again. I couldn't let go. I would never let go."
I put both my hands on his cheek and pulled him close to me, kissing him softly on the lips. He opened his eyes slowly when he moved away and then smiled. He quickly wrapped his arms around me and kissed me again. It was a hard, passionate kiss and we both smiled when we parted this time.
"We have unresolved issues, you know?" He laughed at me, picked me up and carried me to the edge of the grass.
"And they are? "
"Well, you have no shoes on, should I carry you or let you walk?" He didn't wait for an answer and continued to walk to the house. "The others, I'm afraid, are a little more serious."
"Do you want to talk about them now, or later?" I asked him.
"Later, when I get you alone in your room," he said before he kissed me. He then put me down and ushered me into the door. That evening Cleo and I received invitations to meet the four of them out on the patio for dinner at six. Cleo ran to my room holding the note and a beautiful red dress in her hands and asked me if I had received the same thing. My dress was black and it looked like it was going to be quite tight to get into.
Cleo and I met in the lobby, under the chandeliers, dressed in the evening gowns that had been left for us. She smiled at the way I looked and said that Julian had a knack for clothes. I smiled at her and whispered about how uneasy this house made me feel. She told me that Michael had revealed some deep, dark secrets about the place when he visited her earlier that day in her room. As we spoke, Cleo and I walked out of the back door and looked at the garden to the left of us. We debated on going over and looking at it or just finding the guys. Our uneasiness won us over and we turned to the right to head toward what the note had called the patio.
I had to admire this house though. It was very beautiful and the patio was no different. It was oval shaped, much like the driveway, and had a walk that cut through the three long patches of multicolored flowers and bushes, making the three oblong patches into six smaller ones, each about fifty feet long and eight feet wide. In the middle of these greens was a small, circular fountain where a small statue of a naked boy poured clear water into the pool below. On one end of the patio was a stairway that led out, through more multicolored bushes and flowers, to the lush green grass of the back yard.
On the other end stood a pagoda, a U-shaped structure that resembled some sort of coliseum. Pillars formed the L-shaped walkway on either side and its roof seemed to be made out of thick vines that were lush with green leaves. Both sides of this structure mirrored one another and meet in the middle where a round building, which resembled a stone gazebo, sat. Its roof was made of solid stone, instead of vines. In the middle of this gazebo a round table was set for us with six candles lit. Michael and David sat at the table, sipping on what looked like red wine, and they stood as we approached.
Cleo sat down next to Michael and then looked at me as I looked around the patio. She smiled at me and then took my hand.
"He's probably just getting ready," she whispered to me.
"What's going on?" David asked.
"She's looking for Julian," Cleo said and watched Michael pour her a glass of the dark, red wine.
"I'm right here." Julian's voice filled the night. We all looked at him, the three at the table stood. He was dressed in a black suit, one of the ones with the collars that buttoned at the neck, leaving no place for a tie. He wore a black coat that matched the rest of him perfectly. He nodded at Michael and David, then walked over and kissed Cleo on the hand. He then turned and looked at Quinn, who approached from the darkness. The two nodded and I suddenly felt out of place. He turned and looked at me, as if sensing my unease. "You look radiant."
"Thank you." I smiled at him and he leaned down and kissed me on the neck. My mind suddenly flashed a memory of someone sinking his or her fangs into my neck and I pushed him away and smiled oddly. "Sorry, very ticklish."
"What is it Ash?" Julian asked. I looked down at my hands, trying to find the words, then up at him and shook my head.
"This is all very nice Jules,” I started to say then cleared my throat and continued, “and, I don't mean to be a downer, but I'm really worried about Jack and I don't know what to do." I caught myself before I started to cry, but it was just a bit late. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry Ash, your son is important to you and that is how it should be." Julian sighed and raised my head by pushing up gently on my chin. I looked at him. "I promise you that he is fine, they won't hurt him." And, I believed these words. "Come on, let's eat."
The rest of the evening went by without much incident, then it started to drag on and I decided that it was time for bed. The rest retired for the night, but Julian took my hand before I closed my door. He touched my cheek and kissed me gently, and then he smiled and walked away.
Later that night, sometime after eleven, as I sat in my bed strange feelings started to come over me. I felt tingly all over and I started to get very edgy. My maid came in and started to tidy up around my room. I watched her and slowly her body turned to heat, red and blue, like an infrared would pick up. My eyes saw her that way, my ears heard her heart beat, louder and louder, and then she screamed, and ran out of the room.
David was the closest of the four and entered the room shortly after the maid left screaming and he stared at me. I was backed into the corner near the fireplace, scared of what I might do. He stretched out his hand, trying to get close to me, but I grabbed his hand and practically threw him across the room. He came cra
shing down on one of the end tables, shortly after that Quinn and Julian came in. Quinn went to David and looked over at me as I sat with my knees pulled up to my chest and my arms wrapped around me, my eyes peeking out from above my arms.
"Jesus," he said softly, a sound that seemed to echo in my ears. I watched as he moved closer to me.
No! I yelled with my mind. Stay away from me, Quinn. I don’t want to hurt you!
Julian appeared in my vision and I shrank back in the corner. He reached out and took my arms away from my face. He tilted my head back and looked at my teeth, as my breathing quickened and I looked at the maid who came back in the room to ask if I was all right. The scent of what I could only assume was her blood filled my nose and I stared at her as if she was something I had never seen before.
I jumped toward her, watched her jump back, and felt strong arms around me. I heard the low growl of what might have been a cat and realized that it had come from me. Quinn ushered the woman out of the room and came back to help Julian hold me. I stared at him.
"Her eyes are so red," Quinn said and touched my face. I snapped at him, then turned and looked at Julian, reached out with my fingers and touched his blue face. "What's going on?"
What is happening to me? I asked him. That woman, bring her back in here, I want her.
"No, you can't touch her," Julian told me. He pulled me up and walked me toward the bed, passing the mirror on the way by. I noticed what they were all looking at, and I stopped Julian to look. My eyes were red, bright red, and the skin around them was swollen. My teeth had become those of a vampire and I almost wanted to faint when I touched them and found out that they were real.
Julian sat me on the bed and I looked at him. As the blue color started to fade, the flesh color returned to his face. I didn't want to look at him and I didn't want him looking at me, so I turned away and hid my face in my hands. I suddenly stood up and moved away from them, totally confused and not knowing where I was going. I felt Julian and the others following me, but only Julian followed me out the back door and across the patio. I looked back to see if I was being followed, and I spotted Julian, who stopped, not knowing what to do. I know he was wondering if he should run up and grab me or just let me go where I wanted, but he didn't move until I was already walking again.