“Jesus Christ, put it off, Jared,” Miah pleads and I finally open my eyes to see Paulie hanging limp and breathing in choppy puffs that signal a fit I already know is coming.
When her body stiffens and I see her jerk before her eyes roll back, I let out an agonized yell and punch my screen so hard, it sparks and shatters before flying to the floor.
My heart hurts inside my chest as the pain and anger I feel for her starts ripping into me. That’s so much worse than I could ever have imagined, and I make up my mind right then and there that no matter what she did or didn’t do to me, I will never give my baby another angry or unkind word ever again.
Christ, just the knowledge that she let me touch her, that she trusted me enough to touch her after what they did humbles me so much that I let out another cry and feel myself falling to the floor.
I realize I’m sobbing when Miah wraps his arms around me from behind and starts pulling me into his embrace, offering a comfort I can’t stand at this moment.
I shove him away because being touched right now physically hurts. Time is gone as I grab my head and sob, needing some sort of release for this pain attacking my insides.
I’m broken.
***
Paulette
I wake to the sounds of agony and a howling that sends shivers clear down my spine as the pain echoed there assaults my ears. My heart is racing as I recognize that husky timber and I’m running out of the room before I realize it, only to stop dead in my tracks when I see Miah and Jace standing to the side, crying silently while Jared crouches on the floor, rocking back and forth as horrible cries of pure pain burst free.
He’s pulling at his hair and making such terrible sounds that I feel my heart stutter as I look at his brothers imploringly. I finally catch Jace’s eyes and I see another tear track down his cheek before he nods at Jared with an imploring look.
“Help him.”
The plea reaches me and I stumble forward, not sure what I can possibly do but knowing that I need to touch him and hold him close. I just need to stop whatever is going on, and while I don’t know if my being here is a good idea, I push forward and fall to my knees in front of him, gripping his face between my hands to pull his gaze to mine.
“Jared?”
My voice is a croak as I look into his eyes and see such desolation, it breaks my heart. He’s not hearing me and it scares me half to death when I look again and see nothing, as if he’s gone, as if whatever he’s feeling is so much that he’s gone within himself and has no intentions of coming back.
“Jared?”
I say his name louder this time to no avail and feel my heart stutter at the thought of losing him to whatever has happened. I take a risk then, knowing that he probably won’t be too thrilled at my words, but needing to do something, anything right now to get him back.
“Sugar Bear? What’s wrong, baby?” I whisper, feeling my own cheeks wet with tears when he just keeps rocking and moaning as if in pain.
God! Please help me, I beg, slapping softly at his cheeks as my desperation starts mounting. Jace and Miah are terrified and still crying when I look over.
Fuck this.
I grab his face harder and lunge forward, knowing that if he comes back, he’ll likely push me away. I don’t care. I’d do anything, suffer any and all rejection to see his eyes clear and that insanity I see lurking there disappear.
My mouth hits his just as he goes to yell again and I kiss him for all I’m worth, not even caring that this is my first kiss and it’s all teeth and desperation.
I kiss him hard and furiously, getting lightheaded when the air runs out and my teeth start aching. I kiss him harder still, and almost cry my relief when I feel him jerk and groan.
My eyes dart up to his and my heart starts beating again when I see that he’s back, that the madness from before has left, and in its wake is so much sadness.
When I can’t take another second without drawing a breath I pull away, still cradling his face.
“Jared, I—”
He pulls me closer and buries his face in my neck before I can finish the apology, his big body surrounding mine completely as he trembles and tries to fuse us together, not a breath to separate us.
It feels so good just to be held this way that I find the courage to run a hand through his hair and pet at him softly, cooing sweetly to him as he pulls me closer and finally stops shaking.
“You okay, Sugar Bear?” I whisper, pulling away slightly to stroke at his stubbled jaw.
I feel so scared right now because I have never seen him this way. Jared is always strong and hard, the rock I’d build my home on any day of the week.
“Cupcake,” he breathes so soft and adoringly that I suck my lips in to stop a cry of happiness.
“Shh, it’s okay, baby. Whatever it is it will be okay,” I croon, hugging him closer when a hard shudder rips through him and into me.
“They hurt you so bad, Cupcake,” he gasps and I tense for a second before closing my eyes in dread. “How can you even stand to let me touch you when I failed you?”
He thinks he failed me? None of what he’s saying makes sense and I centre myself as he clutches me before pulling back and looking him square in the eye.
I’m terrified to ask, my heart is beating so hard that I feel my panic rise to new levels, but being a coward has only taken me to bad places, so I may as well suck it up and just go for it. I need to know what the hell had him so anguished.
“What are you talking about, Jared? You didn’t fail me. I failed you,” I whisper, swallowing roughly.
His eyes go hard, gentling when I rear back and he pulls me closer, shaking his head.
“You were trying to survive, Cupcake, I see that now. You have nothing to be sorry for. I should have seen the fear in you. I should have done more than sit outside your window and think with my Goddamned dick!” he growls and I giggle, not able to stop myself because of the image that pops into my head. “They hurt you.”
My chest clenches but I nod, meeting his eyes.
“They did. But they didn’t win because I’m still here and I’ll be Goddamned if I let what those animals did break me. A beating is not the end of the world.”
That gets me a hard look and I see him glance over my shoulder. I follow his gaze, biting my lip when Jace and Miah both swallow and look at me before nodding and turning to leave.
It’s only when the door is closed that Jared turns my eyes back to his and makes me meet his stare.
“Don’t lie to me, Cupcake. I saw it.”
I know what he’s saying and I feel my heart drop to my toes when he looks over at what used to be a computer monitor. The thing is trashed and splintered into pieces and it’s only when I see his bloody fist that the truth hits home.
“They posted it?”
Jared nods and pulls both of us to our feet in one strong move.
“Yes and I want to know who it was,” he says, wrapping my legs around his waist as he strides to his room and moves onto the bed, my body still plastered to him as if he’s terrified to let me go.
“Jared.”
“What the hell happened to Sugar Bear?”
That makes me giggle and some of the tension leaves me at the thought of him wanting me to use the old nickname I stopped calling him weeks before trying to run.
“Sugar, I don’t want to talk about that.”
“I need to know, Cupcake.”
“Why? It’s over. I don’t care. I—”
“I care! I fucking care that they did that to you. I care that they took something from you that belonged to me!” he yells, and that possessive statement makes my lips twist in a smile that makes him scowl.
“Yours, huh?”
“You better believe it, baby. That was all mine and I looked forward to it on our wedding night.”
I sit up with a frown and shake my head.
“Wedding night?”
Jared draws himself up and narrows his eyes.
“D
on’t. I’m still riding the edge here, baby. Do not joke about something important to me,” he warns.
“I’m not. I’m just confused is all. Just this morning you made your mom take back that ring and you seemed so freaking upset that she would even think to give it to me that I assumed you were horrified at the thought of marrying me. I mean I love you and all, Jared, but that was pretty darn hurtful, you know. And maybe I understand and agree because I know you’re out of my league, but—”
I get a hand clamped over my mouth for my efforts and a glare hot enough to dry my clothes when I try to argue.
“For your information, I am not too thrilled at the thought of my woman wearing a ring my mother gave her. You’ll wear my ring and say yes to me, Cupcake. Besides, that ring was too small,” he says and my eyes stretch wide.
“That thing was ten carats, at least, and flawless! How can you go bigger?”
He smirks devilishly and I laugh. Then he gives me a kiss and pulls my face into his neck as he holds me.
“We need to talk, Cupcake,” he says minutes later when I’m on the verge of a nap.
“I know. Later. Let me be happy for a little longer,” I plead and I feel him sigh before his lips come down on my cheek.
“Sleep. I’ve got you.”
And I pray that he keeps me after he knows everything.
“I love you,” I whisper so softly, it’s nothing but a breath of air against his skin.
His arms wrap around me tighter and I feel him quake and shudder beneath me.
“I love you, too, Cupcake,” he breathes. “I love you, too.”
Chapter Seven
Jared
I wait until Cupcake is fast asleep and snoring softly against my neck before gently lowering her to the bed and slipping out from beneath her. She looks so peaceful and Goddamned beautiful in her contentment that I want nothing more than to crawl back into bed beside her and hold her all night just to assure myself that she’s here with me and whole and everything is okay.
First I need to get that shit off the Net and find out who that animal was. I have an idea, a suspicion, but right now that’s just wishful thinking on my part, so instead of going after him like I’m dying to, I force myself to go back into my command center and clean up before replacing the trashed monitor with another one.
It’s just as I finish hooking it up and powering up again that Miah, Jace, and Wyatt all walk in, looking so savage I feel my mouth spread into a deadly grin.
“You find out who it was?” Wyatt says and I force down the urge to hit him when the thought of him going after my prey tries to undo me.
I’m a little nuts right now, but no man should have to see that being done to his woman. Even after closing my eyes, I will never forget it or the terrified screams and pain-filled pleas she gave.
I will find the person or persons responsible for it, and when I do they’ll hurt unlike they have ever hurt before. Miah and Jace may be big shots in the unit, but I am the vengeful fuck they come to when they want death to reign and we all know that I’m taking this shit where it needs to go.
“I’ll know whether I find out or she tells me. I’ll know. And when I do…”
I say nothing more because they understand. They all nod before Jace moves forward and grabs me into his arms, pulling me so close that I feel my lungs wheeze in protest.
“I’m so sorry, bro,” he breathes and it takes me a while to figure out that he’s crying again, letting out harsh breaths that I feel all the way to my soul.
Miah eventually shoves him away and pulls me into his arms for a brotherly hug that should feel pansy but doesn’t. I love them all for this and appreciate it, but it’s only when my big brother takes his turn, going so far as to kiss my head and wrap me up strongly that I feel the tension drain away.
“They hurt her, Wyatt. So bad. And I’m so angry,” I whisper, blinking at the tears, not willing to let myself fall apart again.
“I know and I swear to you we will find them all and make them pay,” he whispers back. “Case is here and so is Bronx. We should get to work.” He pushes me away and takes a step back as his mask falls back into place.
“Yeah, uh,” I clear my throat and indicate my monitor, “I just need to take care of a few things first.”
They all nod and flop down onto the sofa against the wall. I sit and get to work, doing what I do best.
I track the site and feel my hackles rise when I see the tab for that video again, only just restraining myself from ruining another ten-grand screen. The info that pours in makes my anger rise, but I keep going till I hit on the IP and start tracking the shit all the way to the source.
When I get there I feel an evil smile spread across my face because I know who it was that hurt my baby, and now I have a direct link to a Webcam I know is going to yield results.
When I patch in and start streaming a live feed, the men behind me start yelling and fist pumping.
“I gotchu you, motherfucker,” I hiss, narrowing my eyes when that piece of shit Clyde Rydell sits down and starts typing what looks to be an itinerary.
“That what I think it is, bro?” Miah crows and I feel myself smile so wide, my heart starts beating hard and fast.
“Yup.”
Miah is almost vibrating when I transfer over to my other terminal to erase the video and start shutting down the skin-flick perversion some of these sickos are into.
It takes me almost an hour, but by the time I’m done I watch from live feeds as the cops start arresting people who I narced for everything from underage porn to snuff films that I will be investigating when all this shit is over.
It’s only when the sun is rising and I hear Ma and Pop come in that I finally push the last button to shut this travesty down and sit back with a sigh.
Ma doesn’t say a word, just comes over and takes me in her arms with Pop not far behind, and I feel my world right itself again.
“All will be well, my darling. I swear it to you. Pop is taking care of all the Lanes and Conrads once and for all, and I’ll kill Lynn myself if it comes to that, but I swear we will make this all go away,” she croons.
Pop clears his throat and kisses me once before turning and nodding to my brothers.
“Jared has a woman to care for right now and I have a few things that need doing. You boys up for some covert shit?”
The positive response he gets from them all is resounding, and I chuckle along with Mom when they start arguing about who’s riding shotgun as Pop rolls his eyes.
“Love you, son.”
“Love you, too, Pop. Be careful, yeah?”
“Always. Can’t leave this sexy filly running around unsupervised. God knows what the world would come to if she didn’t have me at her side to protect them from her.” He chuckles, kissing his wife so passionately, I hear Wyatt groan and hotfoot it out the door.
“Thanks. Now get the hell out, the lot of you. My girl’s going to wake up soon and I have some shit to talk to her about.”
Ma huffs and walks out with the promise of breakfast and a shopping spree that will have Paulie outfitted for the next ten years. Or month, as Ma keeps saying, since the woman shops more than she cooks, and she cooks a lot.
I rise ten minutes later with a loud stretch and make my way to the bedroom, feeling my heart pump and my dick stand up when I see that my baby has kicked off the sheets and her T-shirt has ridden up and exposed her panty-covered sex to my gaze.
If I were a better man I’d walk straight to the bathroom and rub one out to get my dick in hand, no pun intended. But I’m not. I hit the bed, slide directly between her legs, and open my mouth, groaning at the scent and taste of her morning heat.
She smells musky and sweet and her sex is so warm, it feels like a furnace against my face when I bury myself there and start rubbing myself all over her, wanting her scent all over me before I get into anything more intense.
I’m so wrapped up in my need that I’m about to shred her underwear and expose her to my
mouth and gaze when my phone beeps. The curse I let off is vile and I roll to my feet, looking longingly at my utopia before answering with a snarl.
“What, asshole?”
“Dude, catch the news, man. Dobson was found in his house this morning. He’s dead, man,” Miah tells me and I freeze, closing my eyes.
“How?”
“You know how.”
My heart plunges and I sit down heavily, wincing when the bed rocks and Paulie lets off a groan before turning onto her side and stealing my prize right out from under my nose.
The news is not a shock. I rub at my face when fatigue hits me. This is just so predictable that I’d laugh if not for the fallout that will be coming.
I know how Dobson died. I can see it without ever looking at the scene. One shot to the heart and a smile around his neck that is the signature of only one man I know.
Roman.
Years ago, before he left the service, that was his calling card when he posed as a Russian assassin. The fact that it’s showed up now is telling, and I can draw one of two conclusions from this.
It was either a message to us, letting us know that he’s alive, or he’s going after those who are turning against the Patriots. Either message is bad news, because if the wrong people should hear about this, Roman will be dead in the water without backup.
He hasn’t come after family, and until then he’s still one of us, and we never leave a man behind. Not even if he’s dead.
“Call Case and tell him I need to see him.”
“He’s already on his way. Bronx is with us today, so it’s just you and the big man looking after the hens.”
That makes me smile and I can very well imagine Clari’s face if she ever learns that he refers to the women as hens.
“I got it.”
So much for sleep and a little AM delight, I think, rising to my feet with a regretful look at Paulie before hitting the shower. I guess there really is no rest for the wicked.
By the time I’m showered and dressed, Case is waiting downstairs and pacing like a caged tiger.
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