She didn’t know. If he gave massages like this, she could forgive a lot.
“But we can face that hurdle when we get to it. Sometimes, you’ve just got to have a bit of faith that things will work out the way they should.”
“Didn’t take you for a believer in fate.”
“I’m not. But I’m not the sort of person that stands back and lets life come at me. If I want something, I go for it. Sometimes it doesn’t always work out. But I’ve worked hard for everything I’ve gotten. Makes me appreciate it all the more. Let me Top you. Nothing heavy. A few rules. Bit of punishment if you disobey. Doesn’t have to be anything sexual. Doesn’t have to be any age play.”
She thought it over as he continued to rub her back. She should likely say no. Save herself heartache. But then would she always regret it? Always wonder? When was she ever likely to get an offer like this? And from someone like Isaac? Gorgeous. Dominant.
If she said yes and then couldn’t do it, she could always safeword out.
And she had Archer as back-up. Not that she didn’t trust Doc but there was something about having Archer here that made her feel safe.
But he’s not part of this. You need to remember that.
“All right,” she said quietly, before she could talk herself out of it. “But I can’t…I don’t know that it will go anywhere. I have so much baggage where Dave is concerned. I’m not sure I can ever give you anything more.”
“You can try. That’s all I ask. Let’s just try. If either of us don’t want more, then it doesn’t go further.”
“All right. Do I have to call you Sir, though? I’ve never been much into that.”
“No, you can call me Doc.”
“I rather like Issy.”
He groaned. “Of course you do. Now, let’s have a look at this bottom. Make sure you didn’t hurt yourself.”
“I didn’t. It’s fine,” she said hastily as he reached for her pajama bottoms.
He raised an eyebrow. “My main priority, as your Dom, will always be health and safety. And I don’t compromise on those things. I also don’t do things by half-measures. So if I need access to your body to ensure your health or safety, I expect to be given that, understood?”
Oh. Holy. Hell.
“Yes, Doc.”
“Good girl. Use your safeword if you need to. I’ll stop what I’m doing. We talk. We discuss. Then we decide how to move forward.”
“All right.”
He lowered her pajama bottoms then her panties. She went stiff. Could feel herself blushing as he studied her ass.
“Easy, baby doll. You ain’t got nothing to be embarrassed about because this ass is perfection. Also, I suspect it won’t be the last time I see it. I fully expect this bottom will be feeling the palm of my hand sometime in the near future.”
“You’ll spank me?”
“Yep. Unless it’s a hard limit.”
“Oh, umm, no. It’s not. I’ve always had a bit of an obsession with being spanked.”
“Yeah? If you have any desires, wants, needs, you can tell me. I won’t ever make fun of you or be shocked.”
She didn’t know why she’d held back so much with Dave. Maybe she’d been worried it wasn’t something he wanted.
“Your bottom doesn’t seem to be bruised.” He ran a finger down between her cheeks. “Tell me your hard limits.”
“Can I pull my pants up?”
“No, I like you just where you are. Remember, you can always use your safeword, but unless anal play is a hard limit, I want to explore a bit.”
Explore her bottom? Holy hell.
“Caley? Is anal play a hard limit?”
“No.”
“Ever had someone take you here?”
“No.”
“Been plugged?”
“No.”
“Hmm. Lots of fun times ahead for you then.”
Yeah. She got that feeling.
He pressed her ass cheeks apart to massage her back hole lightly. Oh God, it felt so good. She should protest. She wasn’t sure they were at this stage. But then he ran two fingers over her hole, and she shivered with delight.
“Yeah, my baby doll likes that,” he murmured.
“Is it weird to do this when we haven’t kissed?”
A bark of laughter erupted out of him.
Ooh. That was nice.
“You know what, baby? Didn’t think of it but it is definitely weird. Then again, neither of us are particularly normal, right?”
“No, we’re not,” she said quietly. How often had she wished she could be normal?
“Hey. Normal is overrated.”
Was it? If she was normal, she’d still have her family. Then again, if her family loved her shouldn’t they accept her the way she was?
“Yeah. You’re right.”
“That’s my good girl.”
To her disappointment he pulled his finger away. “Shit. Hard to concentrate.” He drew her panties up but continued to rub her bottom. “Hard limits?”
“Anything hard impact, like a whip or cane.”
“Paddles? Belt?”
“They’re fine.”
Was this really happening? Was she living an alternate reality? Sometimes she daydreamed, caught up in the stories of her mind and made things up that seemed so real. Was that happening, right now?
Anything else I need to know?”
“I wouldn’t like to be humiliated.”
“I’d never want to do that to you, baby doll. Not my kink. I like having a Little. A baby girl who looks to her Daddy for protection and safety and care.”
What if she couldn’t ever give him that?
“But that takes a lot of trust. And we don’t need to have that right now. It’s enough you’re giving me your trust to let me take control in some areas. I want you to communicate with me, Caley. I want to know if you’re scared, angry, unsure, horny.”
She snorted at the last one. She had a feeling she’d always be aroused around him.
“Don’t hold back out of fear, all right? Honesty and communication are important.”
“I understand. I do tend to go into my head when I need to think something out. I like to mull over things.”
“That’s fine. But you have to tell me you need time and then when you are finished mulling, you’ve got to tell me what you’re thinking. And you can’t take too long doing that mulling or I’m going to interfere.”
Hmm, yes, patience wasn’t his strong suit.
“Anything you need from me?”
“I…” Oh hell, could she ask for orgasms?
“Baby doll?”
“I guess…maybe I…don’t sleep well.”
“I’m going to help with that. Think maybe I should get some rails for the side of the bed, don’t want you falling out again and hurting yourself.”
“That’s the first time I’ve fallen out of bed.”
“Hmm, you forgot I was in bed with you, huh?”
Maybe. “I know I work too much…it was a coping mechanism after Dave died. I have trouble pulling back.”
“I fully intend to help with that too. Most of your rules will be around health and safety and they will be strictly enforced. Somehow I think you need that.”
It was almost like he could read her mind.
“Now for my limits and needs,” he told her. “I’m a deeply dominant guy. I’ve already told you honesty and communication. Lies are something I cannot abide by.”
“I understand.”
“I can be a bit blunt and gruff. I can be overwhelming. You need to tell me if I’m too much because I don’t always see the line. Sometimes I blast right over it.”
“O-okay.”
“I enjoy bondage. You okay with being restrained?”
“Y-yes.”
“Spreader bars? Ropes?”
“I’ve never tried them. But I’m willing.”
“Good girl. That’s not something I’d do with your Little by the way. You ever gift me with her, and sh
e’ll be pampered and cherished. Adored. But she’ll also have her rules to follow. Daddy wants his Little safe, secure and under his watch. Always.”
Oh Lord. Maybe it should have sounded scary or smothering. But it didn’t. None of it did.
“If you were mine. Fully mine, sometimes I’d tie you up and play with you. I’d hold you on my lap with your legs spread and play with your clit, your nipples, bringing you to pleasure over and over. But when I’m Daddy, then I’d have my Little girl bundled up in my lap. In a onesie with a bottom flap or wrapped up tight in a blanket, swaddled if she needed more from me. You can be as needy as you want with me, Caley. I want it all. I crave it.
“Neither my sub nor my baby girl would be allowed to go anywhere without my knowledge. Not to control you but because of safety. If you were ill, I’d take complete charge. If you wake at night, then you need to wake me up. You’ll be required to get enough sleep and to eat well, to take care of yourself. Exercise is also part of that.”
She groaned. She hated exercise.
“My Daddy side is less strict, but I think you need strong boundaries, but also some gentleness.”
She thought so too. But she knew he’d meant it when he said she had to show him where the line was and pull him back when he stepped over it.
Otherwise he would consume her.
Archer would help with that. Archer had a good read on people. He’d see when she was pushed too far without her having to say a word. Archer would know when to push her out of her head.
But Archer isn’t a part of this.
“You’ve tensed up, let’s see what we can do about that.”
He slapped his hand down on her bottom.
Holy shit. That stung!
But then he rubbed the abused cheek and she let out a small whimper of pleasure.
“Okay, girl?” he asked in a gruff voice.
“Ahh, yeah,” she said on a sigh.
“Good. That means I get to do this.” He lay her on her back then leaned in to kiss her.
And it was stunningly, shockingly amazing. The kiss was no quick peck on her lips. This kiss ravaged her.
“I’m gonna go wash up. You’re gonna do the same. I’ll make you some breakfast then you can do some work before lunch.”
Oh hell, work.
She let out a cry as she saw the time. Holy shit. She should already be several thousand words deep by now. She jumped out of bed. He followed more slowly.
“Girl, come here.”
“I can’t! I’m late. I don’t even have time to eat.”
“You’re gonna eat,” he told her in a deep voice. “And you have time to come here. Two minutes won’t make any difference.”
She took a deep breath to calm herself. Of course it wouldn’t. She walked to him.
He tilted her face up with one hand. “I’m going to take care of you, Caley. I’ll show you that you can trust me. With all parts of yourself. That’s a promise.”
Then after laying that on her, he walked out.
Sheesh.
13
She stood, stretching. Her right hand was aching, and she knew she should take a break. She’d written a lot despite her late start.
The weather outside had calmed down a lot during the night. It was still pelting with rain, but at least the wind had stopped. Still, there were branches everywhere.
Clean-up. Yay.
Not exactly her strong suit.
A knock on her door had her turning. Doc pushed his head in.
“Ahh, good, you’ve stopped. Didn’t want to interrupt you in the middle of a scene. Lunch is nearly ready. Time to wrap it up now.”
“I think I should eat it in here. I have some more to write.”
“You’ll take a break and eat it out here.”
Bossy bastard. But the thought was an affectionate one.
When she walked out, she saw him stirring something on the stovetop.
“Yum, what’s that smell?”
“Found some ground beef in your freezer so I made meatballs. They’re not as good as my grandma’s but they’re better than another night of frozen meals. They’re for dinner, though. Grilled cheese for lunch.”
Her tummy took that moment to rumble.
“Ahh, Caley, what is your poison? I thought we could have aperitifs later on, before dinner.” Archer walked in from the back porch, carrying some bottles of spirits.
Isaac snorted. “Aperitif.”
Archer just rolled his eyes. “I found these earlier and you have some juice and soda. Thought I would experiment. Do you like cocktails?”
“Oh, I’m not much of a drinker but one would be nice before dinner.”
“How are your hands?” Doc asked her.
“Sore.” She looked down at her swollen hands. He stepped forward and gently took her hands in his.
“They don’t look good, Caley. They’re swollen. You need to start looking into dictation before they get really bad.”
She sighed. “I hate using dictation. It takes so long to train it to my voice. And then it’s so slow to edit.”
“Seems to me it would be worth the time considering the state of your hands. You need to start doing some form of exercise as well.”
“What my brother meant to say is that exercise would help you from getting too sore sitting at a desk all day.”
“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” Doc glowered at his brother.
“Ahh, I suppose I should,” she said quickly. “It’s just not that easy out here. I could go for a walk but I’m kind of scared of wildlife.”
“You live in a cabin in the woods and you’re scared of walking outside?” Doc gave her a funny look.
She knew it sounded ridiculous.
“There’s yoga and Pilates,” Archer offered. “You can do free classes online I expect.”
That actually wasn’t a bad idea. The microwave beeped and Isaac pulled out a heat pack.
“Hands up,” he ordered.
She raised them up and he placed the heat pack on the table. “Put your hands on there. Not too hot?” he asked when she’d done as ordered.
“No, it’s good. Thank you.”
He doubled it over, so it also lay on top of her poor hands. Ahh, that was bliss.
“Keep them there for at least ten minutes,” he ordered. “Do you need a painkiller?”
“No. I don’t think so.”
He gave a short nod and returned to the pot.
“Archer, did you get hold of the rental company?” she asked.
“Yes, once Mal gets up here to tow it down, they’ll take it from there. They’ll also deliver another rental when I need it.”
“That’s good,” she said, even as she felt a stab of sadness at the idea of them leaving.
Archer held up a bottle of vermouth. “I might not be much of a cook, but I mix a mean martini. Think I’ll make up a batch later.”
Doc shook his head. “How are we brothers? What is wrong with beer?”
“Nothing. If it’s a good craft beer.”
“Brother,” Doc started.
She knew if she let them get started, they’d never stop.
“I didn’t even realize I had any alcohol.”
“Yeah. Found some out in a box in the woodshed.”
“That’s weird. You did?” A tendril of worry unfurled in her gut. “Why would there be alcohol out there?”
“I don’t know, love,” Archer said. “You didn’t know it was there?”
“No. Dave didn’t drink much once we moved out here. He, uhh, he lost his job after he was arrested for driving under the influence.”
“He did?” Isaac asked.
Archer shot him a look that she barely caught.
“Yeah, I didn’t think he’d been drinking that much. It was when I still lived at home. He wanted to go out for dinner and a drink. We went to this place in the next town. I asked him if he needed me to drive, but I hadn’t had my license long and I wasn’t used to driving in the dark. I didn’t thi
nk he’d drunk that much, or I would have insisted we take a taxi.”
“Wait, are you saying that he was driving after drinking and he had you in the car?” Doc demanded. The look on his face clearly said he thought Dave was an idiot and she pressed her lips together. This wasn’t fair to Dave. He wasn’t here to defend himself. And she shouldn’t be bringing up old stuff.
“Isaac, easy,” Archer warned.
“Are you saying that it was okay for him to drive with something so precious in the car without a care for her safety? Bad enough he risked all the other people on the road and himself, but to risk the person he was most responsible for?”
“It wasn’t like that,” she said.
“What? You weren’t his then?”
“No, I was, it just…he was under a lot of pressure. I noticed he was drinking a bit more, but he said it was a rough patch. Soon after that, he lost his job and we moved here. I just didn’t think he was drinking anymore. Was he hiding it out there from me?”
“Sounds like it.”
“Isaac!” Archer snapped.
“What?” Doc looked genuinely confused.
“Love, you can’t know what reason that booze was out there. Maybe he put it out there and forgot about it. If you didn’t see signs of him drinking, then likely he wasn’t. But whether he was or wasn’t, it doesn’t matter now.”
Tears blurred her eyes and she glanced down at her lap.
“Hey.”
She glanced over at Archer who was crouching next to her. “Don’t think about it. It will just mess with your mind. So what if he was drinking? What is knowing that going to achieve now? All it’s going to do is hurt you. And it doesn’t change anything. Not how much he loved you. Not your memories of him. All right?”
She gave him a tremulous smile. He had this way of making everything seem better. Of calming her. “Yeah, thanks, Archer. It just hurts, the idea of him hiding something from me. Makes you question everything, you know?”
“Yeah, we know something about that,” Doc said to her, coming to sit at the table. “I’m sorry, Caley. I didn’t mean to sound so judgmental. Just the idea of you in a car with a person who is intoxicated,” his face turned grim, his jaw clenching, “makes me furious.”
“I should have insisted on driving. It was really my fault.”
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