by Scott Cramer
If necessary, Abby would take Toucan to Mystic, no matter how frightened her sister was. Touk would calm down as she remembered more, and one day, she would thank Abby for rescuing her from Atlanta Colony.
DAY 9
CDC BUNKER
Abby climbed out of bed in the morning when her internal alarm clock went off — a growling stomach. Her appetite had returned, and it thrilled her to think she could simply walk to the cafeteria and get something to eat. She thought about getting Touk first, but then decided she’d use breakfast to plan how they would spend the day together. In thirty hours, she, Touk, and Toby would board the truck heading to Mystic, and there was a lot to plan for.
Abby used the toilet, dressed, brushed her teeth with toothpaste — another small thrill — and opened her door.
A package, leaning against the door, tumbled inside. It had Abby’s name on it, so she picked it up, sat on her bed, and opened it. Inside was a note from Doctor Ramanathan and some type of thick report with Touk’s picture on the cover.
She read the note:
Every member of Generation M has a profile. It includes information gleaned from databases that existed long before the first epidemic, test results, and observations recorded by the staff.
You might be shocked by the extent of the information we’ve collected. You have to remember that we wanted to build a society for the future, and the more we knew about each child and their family, the better we could meet their needs.
I do not know if Lisette will ever regain her memory, but maybe you will find something in here that might trigger a memory. I am wishing the best for you, your brother, and your sister.
Doctor Chandra Ramanathan
Clutching her sister’s profile under her arm, Abby walked by the cafeteria and went straight to the CDC library. It was empty again, and she cleared a space on a table.
On the cover of the profile, beneath Toucan’s picture, was the number 944. That was her sister’s Atlanta Colony ID. Unsure of what she would find, but excited by the promise, Abby opened the cover.
The first twenty pages provided information on her sister’s health, with charts and graphs of her temperature, oxygen saturation, blood pressure, white blood cell count, and more. None of it was helpful to Abby.
She turned a page and gulped at a photograph of Toucan taken when she had first arrived at Atlanta Colony. Touk, on the verge of death, was pale and thin and her curls hung limp, greasy, and caked with dirt.
Abby scanned the pages of test results, three types of IQ scores, and notes made by Touk’s teachers. “Shows curiosity,” “Strong class participation,” “Respectful of other students.” Doctor Martin, her History of Science teacher, wrote, “Mind wanders easily. Spends much of class staring out the window.”
The next section took Abby’s breath away. It reported on the Leigh family, listing, among other things, the places where both her mom and dad had worked, and precisely how much money they made. Abby’s school grades were there and so were Jordan’s. She found it very strange that she had grown up with Jordan and had gone to the same schools, but she had never seen his grades until now, sitting in an underground research library, a thousand miles from their home.
The next page showed a family tree that went back three generations. There was information on her grandparents and great-grandparents, all her relatives, with their ages at the times of their deaths, and what illnesses and diseases they’d had.
Abby spent little time on this section because it made her sad.
She read notes under the title “Field Observations.”
“Intervened to settle a dispute.”
“944 demonstrated strong leadership potential.”
“Generation M members often seek her advice.”
“944 doesn’t back down if she believes she’s right.”
“Can be stubborn at times.”
Abby realized she was smiling, proud of what others had seen in Touk.
The final section showed entries made by Doctor Ramanathan.
“Wants to call me Chandra, saying she already has a mother.”
“Caring, friendly.”
“Lisette can make the other girls laugh with ease.”
Abby paused, thinking that so far, in the entire report, this was the first time that anyone had referred to Toucan as “Lisette,” and not “944.”
She continued skimming Doctor Ramanathan’s notes.
Page after page, the comments were remarkably similar, and Abby learned as much about the scientist as she did Toucan. Doctor Ramanathan truly cared about her sister, in the way their real mom would have.
Abby’s eyes widened as she read the next entry.
“Emotion Meter light registered yellow, then red. Lisette said she was waving the light around, and it reminded her of chasing fireflies with her brother and sister on Castine Island. Said it made her sad. She misses them very much. Evaluation with Doctor Perkins today. Must work with her to improve her emotional state.”
Abby’s blood chilled when she came to the end of the thick document, accepting there would be a long, rough transition period for her sister until her memories started bubbling up.
She raced back to her room and stuffed the profile into the bag she was packing for the trip to Mystic. The profile belonged to Toucan, not the adults who ran Atlanta Colony. When Touk was old enough to understand what the profile contained, Abby would give it to her and let her decide what she wanted to do with it.
She found Doctor Ramanathan alone in her office.
“Thank you for Touk’s profile,” Abby said.
“Was it helpful?”
“Yes, I’m keeping it.”
“I hoped you would,” Doctor Ramanathan said. “There’s valuable medical information inside on your sister.”
Abby had expected an argument from the scientist. “May I ask a question before you get Toucan?”
“Of course.”
“Can you tell me more about the Emotion Meters?”
The scientist explained how Emotion Meters were used during spirit drills.
“Can I borrow two?” Abby asked.
Doctor Ramanathan gave her a quizzical look. “In the unit, the EMs connect wirelessly to a monitoring station. The station won’t be operational.”
“Will the lights work?” Abby asked.
“Yes,” the scientist said. She went to a cupboard and got Abby two of the clip-on devices.
Touk stepped through the door, grinning. “Hi, Abby.”
“Did you wash your hands?” Doctor Ramanathan asked.
“Yes,” Touk chirped politely.
Abby took her sister’s hands and inspected them close up. “Did you wash them well?”
Touk gave her a big nod.
“Want to see where I live?”
Touk immediately tensed her shoulders, and Abby quickly added, “It’s only around the corner.”
Her sister’s face brightened. “What unit?”
“The wildflower unit,” Abby replied.
Doctor Ramanathan smiled, but her eyes were looking sadder and sadder.
As they headed to her room, Abby was glad she was holding Touk’s hand, because of the incredibly warm feeling it gave her inside, but also because it helped her walk in a straight line. Abby’s heart was pounding because she hoped Toucan was about to remember she had a sister and brother who both loved her more than anything in the world.
When they entered the room, Abby pointed to the poster. “See, wildflowers.”
“Where do your friends sleep?” Touk asked.
“It’s just me here. It’s too small for anyone else to stay.”
Touk pouted. “Where does Jordie live?”
Abby thought fast. “He lives in the Mystic unit.”
“Do you get lonely without friends?”
Abby shrugged. “Sometimes.”
Touk’s face lit up. “Want to be my best friend?”
“What about Molly and Zoe and Lexi?”
“They�
��re my best friends too.”
“Lisette, I’d love to be your best friend.”
Touk held out her baby finger. “Pinky swear.”
Abby had to sit as she locked pinkies with her sister. She, Touk, and Jordan had lived by the pinky swear code. It was the most important promise you could ever make. If you broke your promise, rumor had it your baby finger fell off. Abby was quite certain that the CDC scientists had not introduced the concept of a pinky swear into the Generation M curriculum. Maybe not all of Toucan’s past had been erased.
Abby took the Emotion Meter devices from her pocket and gave one to Toucan. Touk clipped it onto her index finger without a word, and Abby did the same. The tiny lights on each meter were glowing green.
Just then, Abby’s blinked yellow.
“Are you sad?” Touk asked.
“I’m a little nervous,” Abby replied. “I’ve never used an EM before.”
“Watch this!” Toucan closed her eyes, and soon her light had turned red. She held her finger out. “I thought about Charlie. He pulled Molly’s hair the other day.”
“My turn,” Abby said and closed her eyes, picturing the cabin on the lake in Maine. Some ducks flew through the trees and splashed down close to the dock where she, Jordan, and Touk were sitting cross-legged. The Leigh family was finally together again.
“It’s green,” Touk squealed. “What did you think about?”
Abby opened her eyes. “A make-believe place. Have you ever squiggled your EM in the dark?”
Touk grinned. “Turn out the big light.”
Abby flicked out the light, and Touk waved her arm, making figure 8’s and random squiggles of green in the darkness.
“Does it remind you of anything?” Abby asked, barely hearing her voice above the blood pounding in her ears.
“A star!” Touk held her arm straight up.
Abby’s EM light flashed yellow. “Anything else?”
She felt the weight of silence crushing her. Then her light turned red.
“Are you mad at me?” her sister asked.
Abby heard the quaver in Touk’s voice, and she turned on the overhead light. “No.”
“Are you still my friend?” Touk asked.
Abby felt a hitch in her chest. “Yes.”
Soon, her EM light was green again.
“Friends forever,” Toucan said with a grin that kept spreading wider.
Abby unclipped the device from her. “Yes, forever.”
Doctor Ramanathan looked surprised to see they had returned so soon.
“Lisette, I need to talk to Chandra for a minute,” Abby said.
Touk skipped into the Generation M living quarters.
“My friend Toby and I are leaving tomorrow.” Abby paused and swallowed hard. “Please have Toucan ready to leave with me in the morning.”
The scientist nodded. Her smile was gone, and the sadness had drained from her eyes. Her eyes held only emptiness, a feeling Abby knew too well.
DAY 10
CDC BUNKER
Abby crawled out of bed at six a.m. A day like no other, she was about to take the first step toward piecing her family back together.
She played out the upcoming events in her mind. She’d get Touk at nine o’clock, and the two of them would meet up with Toby in the staging area. They would board the pill convoy headed for Boston, scheduled to leave at noon, and sometime tomorrow morning, after traveling through the night, the driver would drop them off in Mystic, where they’d move into the clinic with Jordan, Wenlan, and Cee Cee.
In the shower, Abby shampooed twice and stood in the warm water for a long time, thinking it might be her last hot shower for a long time.
In the cafeteria, she poured a bowl of cereal, added soymilk, and took a seat. She pushed the cereal bowl away after taking three bites, her stomach in knots.
Something nagged her. She had so much to be thankful for, but she couldn’t ignore the feeling that something wasn’t quite right.
Abby had ninety long minutes to wait before she could get her sister. She tried to kill time by watching adults drag themselves in and out of the cafeteria. Staring at the clock on the wall, she watched as the seconds turned into minutes, and the minutes piled up.
She got up at 8:50 and washed her bowl and spoon in the sink. She selected from the bowl of sweets two butterscotch candies and three chocolates and put them all in her pocket. With her heart racing, she left the cafeteria.
If only the three-minute walk to Doctor Ramanathan’s office took three hours. Better yet, she wished for thirty miles of hallways that would require three days to walk. Abby couldn’t understand how a moment of joy had turned into a moment of such dread.
She knocked on Doctor Ramanathan’s door, and when the scientist opened it, Abby took a step back, startled to see she had let her hair down. The long black hair fell elegantly below her waist. Her puffy, red-rimmed eyes revealed that Doctor Ramanathan had been crying.
Abby’s throat pinched. What she gained by Touk joining her and Toby, Doctor Ramanathan lost.
“Lisette wanted me to let my hair down,” Doctor Ramanathan said. “She loves to run her fingers through it.”
Abby stepped into the office and saw Touk’s pack on the floor. On the pack was a crumpled piece of paper.
“I’ll get your sister now,” Doctor Ramanathan said and exited through a side door.
Abby sat in a chair but popped up immediately to pace, brewing with fear, excitement, and doubt. What was best for her sister?
She uncrumpled a wad of paper on Touk’s pack, thinking it might be a note, some message that would tell her the right thing to do. Seeing it was just a sheet of paper with a stick figure drawing of a duck, she crumpled it up again and tossed it into the wastebasket.
Doctor Ramanathan returned with Touk and said in a shaky voice, “She’s ready for her big adventure.”
Touk didn’t look ready for an adventure. Instead, she looked ready to run and hide. Her lower lip trembled, and from the way she was scrunched up her eyes, Abby could tell she was fighting back tears.
“Where’s my duck?” Touk cried.
Doctor Ramanathan scanned the area and removed the crinkled paper from the wastebasket. She handed it over to Touk.
“They play a game called Duck,” the scientist said to Abby. “It’s really a silly game, but Lisette’s friends wanted to give her something as a goodbye present, so they gave her the duck.”
Touk squeezed the paper in one hand and wrapped her other arm around Doctor Ramanathan’s leg.
“Lisette, you are going to be fine, I promise,” the scientist said.
“Touk, we have to go now,” Abby said. “Do you want some candy?”
“No,” she said.
Doctor Ramanathan sniffled. “You have to go with your sister.”
“She’s not my sister,” Touk cried and threw her arms around the scientist’s waist, her head disappearing behind a curtain of Doctor Ramanathan’s long, silky, black hair.
“Lisette, stop that.” Doctor Ramanathan’s tone was gentle, but firm.
Touk let go and lowered her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Listen to Abby,” she said and then looked up at Abby.
Whatever words she was going to voice, Doctor Ramanathan caught herself and said nothing. For a moment, Abby thought the scientist would burst into tears, but she managed to hold them back. She gave her the saddest smile Abby had ever seen and then left the room.
Abby approached Touk and held out her hand. “Can I see the duck please?”
It seemed to take forever for Touk to give her the crumpled paper.
“Do you ever win the duck game?” Abby asked.
Touk nodded.
“I knew it. Leigh’s have always been very good duck game players.”
Touk crinkled her nose, a sign she was curious and wanted to know more. The normal Toucan would have blurted out a question or five by now. Abby, more than anything, wanted to see the normal Toucan again.
&
nbsp; Abby sat cross-legged on the floor and looked up at Lisette. “My family is the most important thing in the world to me. Sometimes we argue and fight about silly things. Sometimes we go our separate ways. But we always love each other very much.”
Abby took Lisette’s hand and pressed her palm against her chest and held it there. “Can you feel my heart beating?”
Touk nodded, her nose still crinkled.
“Every member of my family lives in my heart. Mom and Dad. Babka and Babki.” Abby smiled through tears as she listed the adults who had died on the night of the purple moon. “Everyone is there, especially my brother and sister.”
Abby pressed her palm against Lisette’s chest. “Lisette, your family is in your heart, too. Will you give me a hug?”
Lisette stood before her with her shoulders slumping, the life draining from her face.
“Please,” Abby said.
Slowly, her sister inched forward and rested her cheek on Abby’s shoulder. Abby gently encircled her with her arms, as if she was embracing something fragile that could shatter at any second.
Abby recalled one time when the family had been together. It was on Castine Island, in their kitchen, during a weekend when her mom had come to visit. Toucan was two years old, sitting in her highchair, eating Cheerios. Giggling, Touk started throwing Cheerios on the floor and shouting, “Cheeries, cheeries.”
Dad was washing dishes while Mom was cooking something, and Jordan was sulking, likely because Abby had beaten him to the bathroom to take a shower first. At the time, Abby wanted to get as far away from her family as possible and go visit her friends in Cambridge. But now, looking back, she came to view those times in the kitchen as some of the happiest moments of her life.
She pulled Touk closer until she felt their hearts beating together as one.
Abby leaned back. “Your mother loves you, and you have so many good friends. This is where you belong.”
Lisette’s eyes widened with hope. “So, I can stay here?”
Abby nodded.
She gave one of the biggest grins Abby had ever seen and threw her arms around Abby’s neck.
A small smile played on Abby’s lips. She may not have gotten quite what she’d dreamed of, but at least one of her wishes had come true — to see the normal Touk just once more.