by Ron Foster
Next was friggin’ schoolwork due. He was in the 9th week of a 10-week semester to get a second Masters he could care less about. He had basically almost finished a doctorate before he had decided to drop out and pursue his other endeavors and the school’s counselor had said to him it made more sense to just drop back and get another degree instead of wasting all that time and money and Don had agreed. The other students in his class were struggling to get ready to turn in their capstone course papers and earn their masters, but Don was just going to dumb down an old Doctorate level paper and turn it in to the school and move on. He wasn’t cheating in any way; he had just done all the work before and considered it an art he had to perform in taking a 55 page PhD paper and turning it into a 21 page psycho babble on Emergency Management applied to Human services at a lower level. No sense in reinventing the wheel for just this course.
He had already got a 100 on his draft paper and although the instructor noted some minor APA edit flaws, she said he would get an A regardless if he turned it in uncorrected, anyway. He had no worry in that direction; it was the last forum question he had to dream up some crap on about how this course gave him three things to be thankful for professionally and personally and another touchy feely set of questions. OH BS, answer honestly, them young pups might learn from him but he couldn’t do that. He wanted to say, I learned to acquire a lifetime of debt from student loans I start paying back in 6 months, I learned that my classmates can be dumb as rocks and still get a degree, most of all I learned to bite my tongue or raise immortal hell to defend my right to my opinions in an academic manner. Enough said on that note, he would just smile and write an acceptable submission and walk on by forever.
Trees and plants were coming in to Janice’s address, expensive ones he didn’t want to lose, but she could just add water to them for few days if needed, until he had a chance to pick them up and plant them at the bug out location.
Don kind of figured since it was the last big spring break of his academic and social life, why not go to Florida? Yea, he was old and not a typical spring breaker, but it was a right of passage and reward he wanted to try one time so he was not regretful for not doing it when he was older and grayer. Dumb idea yea, he probably wouldn’t remember much of why or what he did, but maybe a nice memory would present itself on this new adventure. Florida was usually lucky or good to him and he could get a new storyline idea loosely based on some colorful characters he was sure to meet in his carousing. His
Prepper shack had all brand new locks installed; they worked all on one key now instead of the 12 he used to have to carry around. He had paid his house insurance and wasn’t worried except about a deer munching something in his garden and that he couldn’t help that much anyway until he got his fence up. Oh yea, he could adjust his animal security measures, spread some repellant or cayenne pepper around to make it less flavorful.
“ Ok! Do that chore on the way to the beach; got to go by the place and pick up a couple of things anyways”, he concluded.
Check all the fluid levels on the old truck and make sure to do the same on the return trip. Wash clothes before going, etc., and this proposed trip might just be possible.
Check how long you have been carrying the same ammo in your daily carry piece. I am satisfied. One extra clip in get-home bag? Plus 20 rounds federal in a plastic box? That should be more than enough Don muttered to himself. He! He! Good to go then!
6
The Old Man
Old Max had been living on the hill across the street from Don’s farm for over thirty years. He had seen various folks come and go, owning that piece of dirt Don had bought himself for a while, but this new fella had some gumption about him he must say. That boy reminded him of a woodpecker. When he put his mind to something he would just keep hitting at it until it was done. He kind of had fun watching him wrestle with trying to get his little grubstake together over there. He had given the man his years of wisdom about the land and the road the overanxious fella told him he was going to transform and then merrily and quietly sat back and watched as
knowledgeable old cusses do.
This new landowner was more than respectable enough and Old Max liked that. Came right over, shook his hand and thanked him for being a neighbor before he even moved in a stick of furniture. Had a woman with him too that was sweet as sunshine to his wife. Said she was a nurse of different sorts and that was something he felt blessed by moving in next to them until he found out she was some used to be girlfriend and not a wife or a lover. He’d get to the bottom of that relationship later, but they were close he could see that. This boy wasn’t any greenhorn city boy in regards to knowing country ways... Oh yes, the Man had asked a flurry of questions about what grows here and or don’t just like most slickers do, but he also had plenty of personal stories of growing crops on other land in different counties. Max decided to just wait and see what the new neighbor would do and was rewarded with watching a one-man anthill getting things done. Seems this new guy would pick a task, ask if anybody knew anyone that could do it, and when the answer came back a ‘No,’ he found the best available help on his own and finished the rest with his own two hands. Don might have been a bit slow on the uptake of chasing that wheelbarrow of his around he thought, but the sucker was tenacious and after a sip of coffee and a few drags off a cigarette was a non-stop machine moving the mountains of dirt and mulch he had ordered.
Pretty good ol’ boy too, gave Max some extra tomato plants he had bought and mulch he had, like he had known him fifty years as a regular neighbor. Donald said, they was free and no charge to boot. ‘Might even decide to like that guy,’ Max had been overheard to say.
Max waved at Donald as he pulled out of his drive way headed for Florida. Max then reached over to readjust his radio for the umpteenth time today.
“Sure is a lot of static on the radio today” Max told his wife Betsy. “News said the sun was acting up again” Betsy replied looking up at it like she might be able to see something wrong with it.
“Never did really understand that space weather crap.” Max said looking in the same direction.
7
Florida Bound
Don was glad to be away from the daily grind of working on his place but couldn’t help himself feeling a bit guilty about the exorbitant trip expense and leaving several things undone around the house.
“Ah, get over it, you got a lot accomplished so far and three days one way or another wouldn’t hurt too much” he mused.
He all of the sudden then perked up, applied his brakes and pulled into an old country store/gas station he had a habit of stopping at on his way to Florida. He stopped in here 7 years ago for coffee with Janice who he had just started to get into prepping. He bought them both one of those little wooden single line complete fishing kits you can find all over the south. You know, the kind that has the line wrapped around a very thin piece of wood and has hook, bobber and sinker already attached for you. They were great for doing some impromptu dock fishing or tying onto the end of a cane pole. He could count the number of trips he had been to Florida since in his glove box as the things accumulated after a visit. He was going to get another one of those for 99 cents, as was his customary addition to his Florida prepper thing; he didn’t really even ask himself why he saw the need to do it anymore. Just a personal good luck quirk he had gotten into the habit of doing.
Today he had other possible items on the list and gravitated towards the cheap tool table that was prominently featured up against one wall of the store and began to happily root around in the pile looking for magnifying glasses. He had been dying to bump into one of these big box jumble of Taiwan tools displays for a month after he came up with what he thought was a great prepper barter item to specialize in storing. He figured if the SHTF did happen, the need for reading glasses and magnifying lenses might increase. People’s vision gets affected if you don’t have a good diet and vitamin count for your body. The need to try to repair small things or get a spli
nter out of your finger increased exponentially so magnifiers were needed and hey, they could double as fire starters. These cheap Chinese-made magnifying glasses would get scratched easily and were not good for any trying to use for long term reading but they were going to be in demand, he thought, and gathered up 6 of them in different sizes. Hey, at a buck apiece, he figured it wasn’t a waste of money at all. He had already bought several different pairs of cheap reading glasses from a dollar store, too. Hell, he needed them himself oftentimes and they could get used eventually even if he didn’t need to trade them someday.
The clerk looked at him funny when he plopped down on the counter what was probably all the magnifying glasses the store had in stock but didn’t make any comments. Donald carried his bag full of prepper products back to the truck and started reflecting back on the week that had been.
He knew he had been pushing himself too hard and hoped this little trip might do him some good in his outlook and attitude. Being stuck off by himself was sort of fun at first. But then it got kind of lonely and what with all the changes going on both personally and the world had seemed to cause him to start drinking way too much. Oh, he got the work done all right, that was also a good way for him to not touch anything for days as he was just too tired and dehydrated to even study a beer. His old nemesis, Jack Daniels had crept back into his life and Donald wondered why he ever thought about getting back in the ring with that heavy weight champion of the world. Donald liked coke and whisky but the whiskey did not like him. Folks said he changed when he got on that stuff. Donald had a bit of Indian blood in him and that might be part of it, but he figured consuming a bottle of it at a time on an empty stomach might have a lot to do with it, too. He shook his head to himself in humiliation at the thought that he had gone off the deep end a while back and went on a two or three day mind bender drinking from morning and into the night and had almost screwed up his relationship with his favorite neighbors Michael and his girlfriend, Amy. Thankfully, they had overlooked his drunken antics and feeling sorry for himself and let it pass after promising to swear off whiskey for good. Donald had had a girlfriend who had to swear off vodka the same way and if he had been acting half the fool he thought he had been, could relate to how crazy some folks could get.
These two neighbors were great folks to have around and they had sort of just hit it off at the beginning as Donald started to settle into getting his place fixed up. Michael was a retired diesel mechanic and Nam Vet who was sort of a biker and hippie combined. He had helped Donald on several projects and Donald was always amazed at this man’s ingenuity. It was Michael who had showed him the first day they met a really unique way he was getting water for his garden from the creek in back of him.
He had built a removable wooden box that could fit into a lawn tractor trailer and mounted a 30-gallon barrel to the box. His method was to drive his lawnmower down to the creek and use a small emergency sump pump powered by the tractors’ battery to fill the tank. He had a solar trickle charger for the battery when not in use but Donald had donated a Sears Marine battery and a small briefcase size charger to the cause of upgrading the system and seeing just what else Michael could dream up. Donald was blessed with several extra preps from doing manufacturers reviews and would often share some of this wealth by giving it to Michael to help get him more prepped. These gestures, Donald thought, also helped him more than they did Michael in that Michael not only showed him new techniques or uses for an item, but also vastly increased his chances of survival by adding different resources he didn’t have yet like the means to transport water his friend possessed.
Amy was really cool too and had become friends with Janice. Both liked gardening and sharing herb lore so it was a natural thing to see them wander off to the garden, although Donald suspected it was most likely so they could talk about the men folk as ladies are wont to do sometimes. He really shouldn’t always be thinking that way, but Janice liked to talk and it seemed some of his personal business always managed to get out and surprised him at times when mentioned by another person. The ladies were a blessing in his life though and he sought their advice about many things.
8
The Real Day Prepper Show
Donald drove along the highway and considered what all he had to do when got back and the order he wanted to do it in. First thing he needed to do on his way back was stop by the grocery store and get ready for Cat and Lowbuck to stop by next week. Part of the reason Donald had been so stressed out was that he had also been competing against the clock to get ready to be on the NatGeo Dooms Day Prepper show.
“What had he been thinking to agree to that? Donald pondered to himself. He knew though, it was money. He figured being on that show would have made him a lot of book sales and had doubled his efforts and expenses trying to put the dog on for them. The only good thing about the binge he had gone on was he had done enough self-reflection to realize that he had made a seriously bad choice in agreeing to begin with and had politely quit the show. The pressure was just too much for him in itself. They were constantly asking for more pictures of his preps or answer a questionnaire. Jeez, he had to go get Michael and Amy one day to take pictures of his gun
The Real Day Prepper Show
collection because he had no way to do it and the production assistant said she needed them for meeting the next day. Donald had to think really hard about sharing that confidence with the neighbors so soon, but figured if he was going to show his butt to the world he might as well ask and got them to do it.
Donald had about 7 rifles and 5 pistols plus beaucoup ammo and they had looked at him in
astonishment as he brought out enough stuff to support a small infantry squad. All in all it worked out well, as it forced Donald to go all in and show his hand as a confirmed dyed-in-the- wool Prepper. They got to see it all plus a sizable part of his food stash and since he was now all in, discuss the nature of willing to share his preps should the SHTF. Donald and Michael had already had the conversation about how if anyone was to survive some sort of societal collapse that you got to have community to survive. Donald had explained it to Michael quite simply, he said “Who is going to watch my house if I am all alone and out hunting or trapping? I would be willing to work out some sort of mutual aid thing with you since I am prepped better, but I suggest you start buying some extra food now.” The two men had looked at each other and agreed that they would travel this same trail together as simple as that and no theatrics.
Donald also had decided he didn’t want into the limelight of being on for a number of reasons. First off, the Prez was passing so-called National Defense bills left and right labeling Preppers and ex-military possible suspected terrorists. The show was getting too extreme and too wacky making the prepper community look like nut cases so he just opted out before the producers made him look foolish or subversive. He decided to live a quieter and less stressful life and had said he wouldn’t ever consider again
The Real Day Prepper Show
putting his life and preps on film, that is until his buddy LowBuckPrepper (AKA Bubba) of YouTube fame had called him up with an invitation to appear on a show he was creating call Real Day Preppers
(http://realdaypreppers.com/R.D.P.html). This show was unique; it showed Preppers in a positive light and as normal people. Bubba and Donald had been talking for over a year via the prepper community and Donald had agreed to do a show segment with him. This would be the first time they met in person, though, and Donald was really looking forward to it. Bubba and his wife Cat traveled the highways and byways of America in an old motor home talking to real Preppers and sharing information in their documentaries via their web broadcasts to the prepper community. The show was totally supported by its corporate sponsors and viewers financially and was widely acclaimed and honored by its viewers as a no BS survival show that was an asset to the community.
The Preppers interviewed only shared what they wanted to and Bubba made sure no spin was ever put on the representation of
the prepper citizen appearing in his film.
LowBuck was interviewing somebody over in Mississippi and they had agreed that since he was this far south that he would cross over to Alabama and fit Don in this trip. Donald figured LowBuck was still driving at least a day out of Mississippi and that he himself would be back in plenty of time to meet him and they could spend a few days doing the show and getting to know each other better.
Donald had given Michael a heads up that LowBuck might be in the area soon and to help out if he showed up before he got back from his trip, or if Donald
The Real Day Prepper Show
ran into any vehicle problems etc. while on his trip that delayed his return. Traffic began picking up as Donald passed the Florida line and his mind began thinking about the conditions of the road ahead. He was on a pretty good two-lane road but for the last 3 years the 4 lane being built out of Panama City beach had been slowly moving it’s way towards Alabama. Outside of and leading to Vernon had been one messed up stretch of road. If any one vehicle broke down on it you were liable to be spending hours just sitting and waiting to get by. The first of the spring breakers were due this weekend and Donald could tell that some had already managed to ditch class or escape early and begin the time-honored tradition of partying at the beach.
“LOL, I bet I am going to be the oldest spring breaker there”, he chuckled to himself thinking how foolish it was for him to be acting like one of them. Well, not acting like them actually, he was going to the older side of the beach and do his partying with the snowbirds and retirees that frequented the old dive bars that held nostalgic attraction for him.
Might even get lucky and meet me a new lady friend, Don halfheartedly thought with a twinge of remorse about what he found lacking in his life.