Beholden

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Beholden Page 21

by Lesley Crewe


  That seemed to satisfy them. The teacher walked in and I thought that would be the end of the spotlight. Unfortunately, this lady knew Pops as well.

  “Everyone, this is Dr. George Mackenzie’s daughter, Bridie. God rest his soul. I’m sure your parents and grandparents will remember him and his father, Dr. Joe Mackenzie. I hope you will give Bridie a nice welcome to our community.”

  If any of them had a nice welcome for me, I made it difficult for them to deliver it, since I found myself scurrying away like hermit crab, eating my sandwich in the toilet stall and spending the rest of the lunch hour pretending to read a book. I had a devil of a time trying to figure out why I was so skittish.

  After school, I set off before anyone could join me. The school bus lumbered by as I walked along the road with my head down. If I didn’t watch out, I’d be labelled the queer one, which is what the old people called anyone who was different.

  Gran was waiting to hear about my day. I flopped into the armchair in the living room. “I basically ran away from everyone. I didn’t give anyone a chance to talk to me.”

  “Why’s that, do you think?”

  “I’m afraid they’ll ask me about Pops.”

  “I doubt they will. They didn’t know him.”

  “I can’t believe he’s gone, Gran. It’s like I don’t want to make a new friend, because Pops was my best friend, and no one will ever replace him.”

  She nodded and wiped her eyes with a tissue she had shoved up her sleeve.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

  “You didn’t. Tears come easily now. It’s what happens when you get old. Life makes you weary sometimes.”

  That night, Patty called me to tell me Mavis was selling the house.

  I cried all night.

  By mid-February, I had my driver’s license and two gal pals I liked to hang around with. Barbara and Linda were best friends, and you’d think they were twins, the way they finished each other’s sentences. They were crackerjacks in the gossip department but not completely boy-crazy, which was a relief. They were smart and silly and I found myself coming out of my funk a little at a time. They also helped made me forget that my last two letters to Judith had come back Return to Sender. Her family must have moved away and she never let me know. My old life felt well and truly over.

  It also helped that Gran let me get a dog. A kid had a box full of puppies outside the grocery store one day. He said his mother told him to get rid of them, so they were free. I gave him two dollars, to ease the pain of watching the puppies disappear one by one. Hobbs turned out to be an Airedale terrier. His curly fur always looked like he’d just come out of the dryer. He was the friendliest soul, and he wormed his way right into Gran’s affections, not to mention mine.

  Aunt Betty came over one day for a visit, and Hobbs wiggled his way over and sat between her feet. “What’s this? If I knew you wanted a dog, you could’ve had those two nuts Mom had. They drive me crazy.”

  “You couldn’t do that,” Gran said. “Your boys love them.”

  “They might love them, but it’s moi who feeds the darn things.”

  As she patted the dog, she gave me a look. “Tell me again why cut that fabulous hair of yours?”

  “I needed a change.”

  “Did you save it? I could’ve made a wig.”

  “Sorry. It all went in the garbage.”

  “Oh, God.”

  I made tea for my relatives and put the scones I made earlier in the day on the table. Aunt Betty took two and wolfed them down. “These are just like Mom’s. I have the same recipe, but I can’t for the life of me make them taste the same. What’s your secret?”

  “I like baking.”

  Aunt Betty nodded. “That must be it. I hate baking, and the flour and butter know it.”

  When I sat in the rocking chair, Hobbs jumped up and curled into a ball on my lap. Just running my hands through his curls gave me a sense of peace. I couldn’t believe I’d spent sixteen years without a dog.

  “So, what’s new with the family?” Aunt Betty asked Gran.

  “Donny’s kids are fine, apparently. Not that I see them, but Loretta calls from time to time to keep me updated. Donny’s been made some mucky-muck at the hospital.”

  What a good term for Uncle Donny.

  Aunt Betty looked at me. “Do you hear from Mavis?”

  “No. But Patty stays in touch. She’s pregnant, due in late June.”

  “Yes, your Gran told me. She didn’t waste any time, did she? This is a first baby so you watch, the kid will be late and arrive on their first wedding anniversary in July.”

  “Maybe so.”

  “And I hear Mavis sold the house?”

  I nodded.

  “And where’s her nibs now?”

  “She’s living in an apartment somewhere. I really don’t care. I know Patty and Ray are getting the baby’s room ready. Ray’s been painting the entire house, from what she tells me.”

  Aunt Betty sipped her tea. “First-time parents are insane.”

  There was nothing new in Aunt Betty’s world. “Men are so damned boring. Fraser works all day, and so do the boys.”

  “They’re not boys anymore, Betty,” Gran said. “They’re twenty-six, thirty, and thirty-four.”

  “True. And not one of them says boo to me unless it’s to ask what’s for supper. I could stand on my head in the middle of the kitchen and they wouldn’t notice me. Only those two crazy dogs show me any affection. If I’d known what marriage was before I got married, I would’ve head for the hills. Don’t do it, Bridie. It’s a gateway to drudgeville.”

  Gran laughed. “Oh, come on, Betty. It’s not that bad.”

  “Your husband was interesting. And your sons actually left home. The only way my hulks will leave is if I plant a bomb under the dining room table.”

  “Why don’t you get a job, Aunt Betty? That might occupy your time.”

  She squirmed in her seat. “No, thanks. Then I’d have to work.”

  When she left, Gran and I took to laughing.

  “She’s a case, that one.” Gran said.

  “I like her. She reminds me of Mama.”

  Barbara and Linda confronted me at my locker in March. “So, rumour has it that Jack Morris really likes you.”

  “Who’s Jack Morris?”

  “Only the cutest guy in grade twelve.”

  “If he likes me so much, you’d think he’d talk to me.”

  “He’s not allowed to talk to lowly grade elevens. Everyone knows that.”

  “That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard.”

  Barbara nudged me. “Just keep your eyes open. He’s so dreamy!”

  “I don’t know what he looks like.”

  “As soon as you see him, you’ll know.” The two of them walked away.

  Obviously, I wasn’t immune to boys, but very few, if any, ever caught my attention—and now, thanks to my two silly friends, I found myself searching the hallways for cute guys. I knew all the grade elevens, but hadn’t paid much attention to the grade twelves, who lorded it over everyone, seeing as how they were the top dogs in the school.

  Since Barbara and Linda decided it was a game not to tell me who Jack Morris was, I played along, but decided to have some fun myself. I met Barb at the water fountain one afternoon.

  “It’s got to be that guy walking down the hall with green pants.”

  She looked and made a face. “Are you serious? He’s terrible.”

  “I don’t know. He’s got great cheekbones.”

  “Ugh.”

  Two days later, I made Linda peek out of the girls’ bathroom. “Is that him? The one with the checkered shirt?”

  “That’s Ronnie! He looks like a goat!”

  They eventually caught on and wouldn’t play with me anymore.
It didn’t matter, because the great Jack Morris decided to come down from the mountaintop and seek me out. I knew it was him the minute he strode towards me as I was leaving school. He had that cool swagger of someone who knew he was all that and a slice of cheese.

  He stood in front of me and grinned.

  “Hi.”

  “Hello.”

  “I’m Jack.”

  “Bridie.”

  “I know.”

  “You know? Isn’t it against the law to fraternize with a younger grade?”

  “I make my own rules.”

  Oh, spare me. I hated him. “See ya, Jack.” I walked away quickly.

  “Where are you going?” he called out.

  “Home.”

  “Let me walk you.”

  “No, thanks.”

  When I told the girls about the encounter they nearly chewed my head off.

  “Are you crazy? That’s Jack Morris. Do you know how many girls would give their right arm to go to the prom with him?”

  We stood around the melting snowy puddles by the swing set in the schoolyard during recess. “What is this obsession with prom? The kids in Sydney are just as bad. Now I’m sorry I promised Eric I’d go to prom with him next year. It seems so ludicrous.”

  Barb slapped Linda on the arm. “What if he wants to take Bridie to prom?! She’ll be the most hated girl alive!”

  “Something I’ve always aspired to. You two have spring fever. It’s not like you to talk about boys constantly.”

  Linda sighed. “We’ve never been objects of desire. At least not to someone as gorgeous as Jack. We are living vicariously through you.”

  Barbara held out her little finger. “Pinky-swear you’ll tell us everything if you kiss him.”

  Fortunately, the bell rang.

  One day in April, I took Gran to the grocery store. This was a two-hour ordeal, as she was always so pleased to run into friends who were still alive. They would stand in the middle of the aisle ignoring the cross looks of young moms in a hurry while they regaled each other with childhood memories. Once they moved on, Gran took great pleasure in telling me their life stories while we shopped.

  “She had an uncle and aunt who were a brother and sister,” she told me that day. “They lived alone, way out in the country. He took ill and called the doctor. The doctor asked where the sister was and the old fella said he didn’t know. She hadn’t been downstairs for three days. The doctor found the poor soul in her bed, as dead as a doorknob.”

  “Pops’s father must have had stories like that.”

  “Oh, you wouldn’t believe some of the things he told me in confidence. He wasn’t supposed to tell me, but some cases weighed on his mind. He needed to share it, to lessen the load. I never said a word to anyone.”

  I took her arm. “He was so lucky to have you.”

  “We were lucky to have each other. It’s always a blessing when you find someone you truly love.”

  “I wish Pops had had someone like that. I don’t believe for a minute that Mavis was his true love.”

  Gran looked sad.

  As we were leaving the grocery store, Gran tripped on the sidewalk, and I dropped my bags of groceries to catch her before she fell to her knees. As I steadied her, I was aware of someone running up to us.

  “Can I help?” It was Jack Morris.

  Gran was a little shaken, but otherwise okay. “Thank you, young man. We could use some assistance.”

  While I got Gran in the car, Jack picked up my groceries and put them back in the paper bags. “I don’t think anything’s broken,” he said. “I’ll put them in the car for you.”

  I opened the back door and he bent down and arranged them on the seat.

  “I hope you’re okay, Mrs. Mackenzie.”

  “I’m fine, dear. Thank you.”

  He closed the back door for me. “Are you all right?”

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” he said, smiling.

  He watched me as I got in the car, and now I was flustered. The engine revved, which rattled me even more, and I lurched the car forward in my haste to drive away. Honestly, how embarrassing.

  “Isn’t he a nice young man?” Gran smiled at me.

  “You know him?”

  “I believe that was Jack Morris. He’s the mayor’s son. All those boys are handsome devils.”

  What bothered me was that I agreed with her. Jack was a handsome devil.

  Drat and darn.

  16

  Now I couldn’t get the silly fool out of my mind. And I saw him everywhere at school. He stayed away from me but always gave me a big smile when he saw me. Obviously he was changing his tactics, and it appeared to be working.

  Annoying.

  Barbara and Linda kept me up to speed on what he said about me to others. How they gleaned this information was a mystery.

  “He told Roy Dupuis that your hair was the coolest thing he’d ever seen.”

  “Linda, I don’t know a lot about boys, but I highly doubt they spend their time talking about a girl’s haircut. You’re making this up.”

  “Okay,” she sniffed. “I’m not going to tell you anything else, since you don’t believe me.”

  One day, as I walked to school in the May sunshine and heard the trill of songbirds all around me, I caved. Barb was getting off the school bus. “Anything new on the Jack front?”

  Barbara looked around to make sure no one was listening. “He’s broken up with his girlfriend.”

  “He had a girlfriend? What a louse!”

  “He’s got several girlfriends, but this one was with him the longest.”

  “Several? He sounds like an idiot.”

  “Oh, Bridie. Who cares if he’s an idiot? It’s not like he’s going to be your husband. Fooling around with someone is allowed when you’re in high school. It’ll be something to dream about when you get old and fat.”

  What if Barbara was right? Why was I always running away from something that might bring me a small pinch of happiness? Maybe it was time to shake things up.

  By this time I knew where Jack’s locker was, so I marched over to it and stood there. Lots of girls threw me hateful glances. How did they know I was waiting for him? This locker might belong to anyone. Was there a rule that said you must stay fifty feet away from his precious locker?

  “Bridie?”

  I didn’t see him standing next to me, so I jumped. “Oh! Don’t scare me like that.”

  “Sorry. I said your name a few times.”

  “I was daydreaming.”

  “About me, I hope.” He gave me that lazy grin.

  “Oh, seriously. Why do you ruin things by saying dreary stuff like that?”

  He instantly looked hurt.

  “I’m just telling you, Jack, that cheesy lines don’t work.”

  “They’ve worked for me.”

  “If you plan on taking me out on a date, I suggest you drop what you’ve been doing and act like a normal person.”

  He gave me a genuine smile this time. “Am I planning on asking you out on a date?”

  “According to my sources, you want to ask me to the prom. Is this true?”

  “You are the strangest girl.”

  “I’ve been told that before. So, are we going or not?”

  “I would love to take you to the prom. But I hope we don’t have to wait until the end of June to see each other. Why don’t we go on a normal date this Friday?”

  “What do you propose we do?”

  “Go to Big D’s for a milkshake and fries?”

  “I suppose so.”

  “Don’t sound so excited.”

  I sighed. “I’m not very good at this dating thing, unlike you, who are an overachiever, from what I understand.”

  He lau
ghed. “I’m not sure who your sources are, but it sounds like they know more about me than I do. Why don’t you form your own opinions?”

  “I will.”

  “I’ll pick you up at seven.”

  “In a car?”

  “No. On a donkey.”

  “Big D’s is a mile down the road. I think we can walk.”

  “I live a little farther out of town. Would it be all right if I drove to your house and escorted you on foot to Big D’s?”

  “Do you know where I live?”

  “Everyone knows where Dr. Joe Mackenzie lived.”

  “Okay then. That sounds fine. I’ll see you.”

  “See you, Bridie.”

  My heart was pounding a little faster as I walked away, fighting to keep a normal pace when all I wanted to do was run.

  I told my posse after school and they screamed.

  Barb grabbed my jumper. “You’re going on a date this Friday?! What are you going to wear?”

  “Clothes.”

  Linda looked me up and down. “Don’t wear that.”

  “I wasn’t planning on it.”

  Barbara wanted to know where he was taking me.

  “To Big D’s for fries.”

  “You can’t eat them,” she said.

  “Why not?”

  “You can’t be seen stuffing your face. He might think you eat too much.”

  “Barbara, you need your head examined. I’m sorry I told you now. I have to go.”

  “We’ll be there!” they shouted together.

  “Please do me a favour and forget I said anything.” They pretended not to hear me.

  Despite myself, I was bubbling with excitement after school on Friday. Gran noticed it. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were going on a date.”

  “I am. I can only have crackers and cheese for supper. I want to save room for fries and a milkshake at Big D’s later, despite Barb’s warning about eating too much in front of him.”

  Gran went to the sink to fill the kettle. “Who are you going with?”

  “Jack Morris.”

  “Oh my. You snagged the biggest fish in the pond. He’s the mayor’s son, you know.”

  “Yes, you told me.” I was rooting around the fridge for a piece of cheese.

 

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