by Lesley Crewe
I opened the front door before Jack even knocked and jumped into his arms before he said hello, whereupon I kissed him with everything I had, and he kissed me back. Who knows what Patty and Ray were thinking.
When we finally realized we were standing in a doorway in view of all the neighbours, I quickly pulled Jack inside.
“This is Jack. Jack, this is my sister, Patty, her husband, Ray, and my nephew, Pup. Isn’t he the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen?” I took Pup out of his father’s arms as Jack shook their hands.
“Nice to meet you.”
Patty was almost swooning at Jack’s feet. “Hello! Now I understand why Bridie keeps you hidden in the country.”
Ray looked at her like she was mad. “Patty! You’re embarrassing the kid.”
Jack did look like he was ready to go through the floor. “We should probably get going.”
Instantly, I put my face against Pup’s neck and breathed him in. “I’ll miss you so much.”
Patty had to eventually take him from me, because I couldn’t make the move to pass him over.
The three of them walked out onto the step and waved goodbye. Patty blew kisses and pretended Pup was blowing them too. That just about killed me.
“For God’s sake, drive before I get out of the car and kidnap him.”
Jack drove away but I was still hanging out the window, waving at my baby. It was only when I couldn’t see him anymore that I fell back into my seat with a huge sigh. Jack took my hand and kissed it.
“The next time you go away for three weeks, would you be kind enough to tell me beforehand? I nearly went out of my mind.”
“Funny. I never gave you a single thought.”
He laughed. “It’s a good thing you kissed me before you said that.”
We didn’t go right home. We stopped at an out-of-the-way spot and walked together through the fields, towards the blue, shining water. We lay in the hot sand under the midday sun, while Jack traced my face with a blade of grass.
“What did you miss most?” I asked.
“This. Looking at your beautiful face.”
“I missed Napoleon.”
He grinned. “Did you, now?”
“His large, expressive eyes and long eyelashes. His soft mouth and strong back. The way he feels between my thighs.”
Jack put his hand behind my neck and pulled my face close to his. “I’ve never said this to anyone in my whole life. I love you, Bridie. Being away from you was just what I needed to realize that my life is only complete if you’re by my side. I don’t care what we do, or where we go, but we need to do it together.”
“Darn it, Jack. That wasn’t cheesy at all. What am I supposed to say?”
“You know what I want you to say.”
“I love you, Napoleon.”
He sure loved me back.
18
Almost a year later, Eric was on the phone.
“The prom is this Saturday. Did you forget?”
Unfortunately, I hadn’t forgotten. “My prom is on Friday. Don’t you have a girlfriend by now, Eric?”
“No. I told you. You are my one true love.”
“But I have a boyfriend, and I’m not sure what he’ll think about me going to the prom with you.”
“Just tell him you’re keeping a promise to an old friend.”
That was true enough. Just do it and get it over with.
“All right. Pick me up at my sister’s.” I gave him Patty’s address.
Jack wasn’t too pleased when I told him. “You have to leave for Sydney the very next day? So much for staying out late and partying at your own prom. The guy sounds like a jackass.”
“He’s not. He’s very sweet and he helped me move and I feel like I owe him.”
“You can do what you want, obviously, but I think it stinks.”
I put my head on his shoulder. “Don’t be mad. I just want it over with. We’ll have a great time on Friday night.”
And we did. Once more my fabulous dress came out of the closet and once more Gran and Aunt Betty took pictures of us. Because I knew many more kids at the dance this year, we all had so much fun. Jack jumped up on stage with a microphone and sang along with the Monkees hit “I’m a Believer,” pointing at me the entire time. Even I was swooning.
One of the happiest moments of my life was leaving that dance linking arms with Jack, waving and hollering good night to our friends as we walked to our cars. The future just stretched out before us like a red carpet.
We held each other for a long time before we said good night.
Jack kissed my nose. “I wish you weren’t going tomorrow, or that you’d at least let me drive you. I can sit in the car and wait until the dance is over.”
“And stay with me at Patty’s? I don’t think so. Besides, I’m going to take a few days and visit Pup. I can’t believe it’s almost his first birthday.”
“Promise me you won’t stay there for three weeks again.”
“I am a grown woman, Jack Morris. How I spend my time is my decision. Don’t get all possessive on me.”
“I love you, that’s all. I want to protect you.”
“From what?”
“The world.”
“Now you’re being silly. I better get some shuteye. I’ll be back by Monday.”
I kissed him again and then slipped away.
Gran had baked a cake for Pup, an early birthday gift, and we wrapped it carefully and put it in the back of the car the next morning. In went my prom dress for the third wearing. Packed a few clothes and some stuffed animals and baby books. A big kiss for Gran and I was on my way.
I loved driving by myself. It made me feel grown-up and responsible. And the view along the way just lifted my spirits, although today it was grey and foggy, so I was careful going around the twists and turns. I had the radio blaring, which made me think of last night and the public declaration Jack had made. If your heart can burst from happiness, that’s how it felt as I drove to my sister’s.
Pup was the most adorable baby boy on the planet. And I could see for the first time that he did bear a resemblance to Pops.
It was the shape of his head, or the way he smiled, but Pops was definitely in the mix somewhere. He would have been so proud of him. They say men want sons, but Pops never mentioned it. It was seeing Ray carry Pup around like he was a trophy that convinced me it must be true.
Since we were having an early birthday party, Patty had invited her mother over to share the cake Gran had made. Things were clearly improving between mother and daughter now that Pup was a more enjoyable age. Mavis beamed with pride as we took pictures of Ray Jr. clutching a handful of cake.
I was weary from all the excitement the night before, the long drive, and spending the day with an energetic baby, but I dressed myself for this third and final prom anyway. I had called Eric back to tell him I’d meet him at the dance, instead of him picking me up. That way I could leave early if I was dying of boredom, not that I told him so.
He’d sounded disappointed.
“Sorry, my sister’s baby is fussy, and people coming to the door are an unwanted distraction.”
He agreed he’d meet me at the dance.
It was the first time Patty, Ray, and Mavis had seen my dress, and they were mightily impressed—even Mavis.
“Where did you get that gorgeous thing?” Patty wanted to know.
“A local dressmaker, Nell Sampson.”
“Oh yes,” said Mavis. “I remember her at George’s father’s funeral. Jean said she used her. Well, she certainly is talented.”
“I know. And she wouldn’t take any money for it either. She said Gran was always nice to her, and it was a gift.”
“Speaking from a male point of view,” Ray said, “your date is going to be over the moon.”
“
I can’t believe I have to go through with this. I will never make a rash statement again.”
“How does Jack feel about it?” Patty asked.
“He wasn’t pleased, but Eric was nice to me once and I feel I should be nice to him. I won’t be too late. Leave the door open and I’ll crash on the couch.”
I kissed Pup several times before I left. He giggled and put his hands on my face.
Going back into the gym at Sydney Academy was like looking through a View-Master. Images from the past kept popping up in front of my eyes, yet it all felt like a hundred years ago. Had I gone to this school? Did I belong here?
Eric must have been looking out for me, because in a matter of seconds he was by my side, hugging me. “Thank you for coming! You look amazing.”
“Thanks, Eric. You look very nice too.”
Then he looked around at the crowd and pointed down at my head. “I told you,” he yelled. “I told you I’d win the pool!”
Once everyone realized who I was I was swamped, which made no sense; I hadn’t been popular when I went to that school, and I hadn’t even been there for almost two years. A lot of guys came around, looking put-out as they handed Eric his money.
I was the star attraction at the fair.
I touched Eric’s arm. “If you continue to behave like this, I’m going.”
He seemed shocked. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. I’m just so happy that this is finally happening.”
“That you’re collecting money or that I’m here?”
“I apologize. You’re right. Let me start over.”
In my head I kept telling myself to go, and then I’d argue with myself that I’d come all this way and should stick it out. Eric got me some punch, and we sat and chatted with some of the other kids. He wanted our picture taken at the picture wall. He said he needed proof that I was his date. We danced, and I spent the entire time wishing I was in Jack’s arms instead. Poor old Eric was sweating right though his suit, and he stepped on my feet a number of times. But he looked like such a puppy dog, I couldn’t stay mad at him.
By eleven I’d exhausted all conversational avenues and made a point of yawning. “I’m sorry, Eric, but I’m pretty tired. I went to my own prom last night and it was a long drive to get here today. I think I’ll call it a night.”
He looked panicked. “Already? I thought you’d at least stay until midnight.”
“Why? What happens at midnight?”
“Cinderella leaves and the prince chases after her.”
I couldn’t tell if he was kidding. “Well, this scullery maid is saying good night. Thank you for the lovely time. I wish you all kinds of luck with your future endeavours. Please say hello to your dad for me.”
“Don’t I get a kiss goodbye?”
“Fine.” I kissed his cheek. “Good night.”
The dance floor was still rocking as I retrieved my clutch and took out my car keys. I hurried out into the street and walked briskly up the sidewalk to where I parked the car. It was quite far, as I’d arrived at the dance a little late. It was different now that it was pitch black, the streetlights covered with tree branches and leaves for the most part. I couldn’t remember which side of the street I’d parked on, which irritated me. Jack always told me to pay attention to things like that, and I never did.
Finally I spied my car, and relief spread through me like a wave. I put the keys in the lock and opened the door. Someone pushed me from behind and fell on top of me across the front seat. A warm, sweaty hand covered my mouth.
“Don’t scream. You’re not allowed to scream.”
It was that fool Eric, scaring the life out of me. I relaxed so he would take his hand away, which he did.
“Eric, I’m not going to scream, but I want you to get off of me. I’m uncomfortable like this, and I’m sure you are too.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” We settled ourselves as best we could, only now he was in the driver’s seat and I was on the passenger side.
“May I drive you home?” he said. “You left so abruptly, and it’s like our date wasn’t over. It’s supposed to end at midnight.”
“Eric, this is not a fairy tale. I brought my own car so I could leave when I was tired, and I’m tired. I’m sorry that you thought I’d be here until midnight, but I have to go.”
“You’re a liar, then. You lied when you said you’d be my prom date. Prom dates go to parties afterward that can last all night. I was being respectful by only asking you to be with me until midnight.”
I wanted to shake him until his teeth rattled. Why was I talking to this idiot? I looked at my watch, which was a mistake. The car keys dangled from my hand and he reached out and snatched them from me. Instantly, I knew that Eric was more than an idiot.
He cheered up. “Now I’ll drive you home.” He started the car. “Where to again?”
My mouth was so dry I had a hard time speaking. I gave him Patty’s address.
“Oh yes, I remember now. But first we’ll go for a drive.”
Before he had the last word out of his mouth, I opened the passenger door and jumped out of the car. It was barely moving, so I managed to stay on my feet. I started yelling for help and ran as fast as I could, but I tripped on my shoes and fell with a hard bang on the pavement. My knees were bleeding as I scrambled upright, but Eric was right there. He picked me up over his head and carried me back to the car like a sack of potatoes. All the time, I was scratching and trying to bite him, but it was like he didn’t feel anything. At first, I thought he was going to put me back in the front seat, but he reached in and lifted the trunk opener. He was going to throw me in the trunk. I was dead if I didn’t do something.
“Eric. Calm down. I don’t want to go in the trunk. It will mess my dress. Why don’t we go back to the dance? I’ll stay until midnight.”
He hesitated. “Go back to the dance?”
“Yes. You’ve waited for it all year and silly me wanted to go home early. But I’m not tired anymore and I think we should dance again. Let all the guys see who your date is. You won the pool, remember?”
He put me down. “Okay, that sounds like a good idea.”
He put my keys in his pocket and grabbed my hand and walked me back to the dance. I was going to be saved by the people and the lights. All I had to do was scream.
“If you scream, I know where your sister lives. She has a baby, doesn’t she? I’d like to meet the baby sometime.”
The fear that ran though me was like a living thing. Protect Pup at all costs. I would do whatever this maniac said.
We danced for another half an hour. By this point, I had to pee from all the punch I’d had earlier, so I told Eric.
“You can’t go. You’ll run away.”
“I promise you I won’t. I mean it.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Please, Eric. I have to go.”
He pulled my arm and we left the gym but we walked right past the women’s washroom and he pushed the door of the men’s open. “This way I can watch you.”
Just my luck, the place was empty, so I quickly disappeared into a stall and peed. The thought of leaving this perfect little box made me so sad. It was like my rational mind was shutting down, and it was harder and harder for me to think of the best course of action. What would Jack do? If Eric could lift me, I doubt I was strong enough to beat him up. But maybe I could, now that he’d threatened Pup. Bashing his brains in sounded remarkably easy.
“Hurry up.”
I had to open the cubicle door. I needed help, but no one would hear my screams from here. Not over the music and merriment. So, I rushed by Eric and reached for the door handle, but he grabbed my hair. Just that alone woke the beast in me. There was no way I was going to let him have any of my power. I clutched my shoe and stabbed him in the eye with my kitten heel. He fell backwards and landed on the flo
or. In a flash, I remembered Laurel Beth, my angel at Pops’s funeral, and gave Eric a kick between his legs. He howled and pulled himself into a fetal position. I had to stand over him to get my car keys out of his pocket.
“You complete bastard! Only a coward would force himself on someone!”
I wrenched the keys from his pocket and threw open the bathroom door. I ran like hell down the corridor and out the front door, sprinting up the street to my car, which was now unlocked. It took four tries before I could get the key in the starter, but once the engine roared to life, I put my foot on the gas and did a U-turn so I wouldn’t have to drive past the school.
Should I drive to Patty’s or drive straight home? The gas tank was only a quarter full. I couldn’t take the chance on driving all the way to St. Peter’s in the middle of the night. Pops always told me to fill the car when it was down to half. Why didn’t I listen to him? I pounded my fist on the steering wheel.
“It’s such a simple thing, Bridie, but no. You never listen to anyone! You think you know everything, and look what happened! This is your fault. Jack told you not to go, but you ignored him and now this. You’re a stupid fool. A stupid, stupid fool! I hate you right now!”
I couldn’t go into Patty’s. I felt too dirty with my bleeding knees and ripped nylons and the sweat from Jack’s hands all over my face. I didn’t want to talk to anyone.
At some point I fell asleep behind the wheel. It was morning when Patty opened the car door and shook me awake.
“What on earth happened to you? You scared me to death when I didn’t see you on the sofa this morning.”
“Sorry.”
“Were you drinking?”
“No. Just exhausted from two proms. It was a stupid idea.”
“Let me help you up.” She took my arm and pulled me out of the car. “Bridie! What happened to your dress? And your knees?”
“I fell in the parking lot.”
“That Eric kid should’ve driven you home.”
“I wanted to get away. He was starting to bug me.”
“Go have a shower and I’ll fix you some breakfast. Then you can have a nap.”