by Roger Ma
Apartment complexes are a whole different story; they were the worst. We called them “chambers of horrors.” You respond to a DG job in one apartment, knowing full well that there are probably dozens of other residences where zombies have taken control, and there’s just no one left to make an emergency call. And these places reeked. Some residences would stockpile bodies, both dead and undead, in one or two rooms or apartments. As soon as you arrived on scene, you could smell that it was going to be a hell call. I was smearing menthol rub under my nose so much I should’ve bought stock in the company; stocks—remember those? Now there’s a blast from the past.
I’ll never forget one of the early calls I responded to in New Cabrini. There were already five units and two fire trucks on scene by the time I arrived. I was helping clear some of the upper floors when I opened up a bedroom to see a DG feeding on his wife. I pushed him off and cracked my steel-toed Danner over his temple. I was on the radio calling it in when what felt like a metal vise clamped down on my tricep. Sure enough, the wife had already turned. I spun around, but before I could clear my weapon from the holster, she was on me. She wasn’t a big lady, probably a buck-thirty, but fighting her was like trying to fend off a rabid chimpanzee. Now I’ve rolled with some pretty strong characters—wrestlers, judo guys—and never in my life have I felt anything like this woman. I’m damn lucky I wasn’t wearing our summer-issue uniforms; otherwise my forearms would have been torn to ribbons. I finally managed to get my weapon clear and get off two rounds—one that went wide right, and the other that took off her left ear. She grabbed my forearm and wrenched it so hard that it caused a hairline fracture in both the ulna and radius bones. That’s what caused me to drop my service weapon.
We wrestled around the room for the better part of five minutes; on the bed, against the bureau, back onto the bed. She had this crimson sludge running down the side of her head from where her ear used to be, and I just kept praying that none of it would drip into my eyes. I was exhausted. No matter what I did, I just couldn’t keep her off me. I didn’t have the strength left.
We ended up writhing on the floor, in the narrow space between the mattress and the wall. I grabbed her by the throat to keep her snapping jaws away from me, but I knew it was just a matter of time before my arm gave out. I turned my head and saw her ragged bedslippers under the box spring. “So this is how it ends,” I thought to myself, “staring at pink fuzzy slippers?” And then I heard the voice of my academy instructor in my head, cursing my stupidity for not pairing up on the room clears.
My arm started to give way, and I closed my eyes as I saw her mouth descending onto my carotid. Just then I heard a loud whack, and the woman’s jaw slammed shut, cracking several of her teeth. I looked up and saw the prong of a Halligan tool sticking out of the top of her skull, the other end held by one of Chicago’s bravest. He yanks her up by the head and tosses her aside. He then shoves the clean end of the Halligan toward me and helps me to my feet.
Who says cops and firemen don’t get along?
LONG-RANGE COMBAT
SAFETY LEVEL OF ENGAGEMENT: HIGH
COMBAT SKILL REQUIRED AT THIS DISTANCE: MEDIUM-HIGH
RISK OF INFECTION: 2-5%
Long-range combat is defined in this manual as combat with an undead attacker at a distance of 6 to 8 feet (1.8 to 2.4 meters) between opponents. Combat at this distance affords you the greatest level of personal safety to fight the living dead. Studies have shown, however, that it is also the most difficult range to engage and eliminate your attacker quickly. It takes substantial skill to wield a long-pole weapon and consistently deliver destructive blows, so armament selection, training, and practice are essential if you are frequently engaging the living dead at long range.
Long-Distance Combat Strategies
Regardless of the scenario, there are a few general strategies you can apply to all long-distance combat situations.
Maintain Your Balance
Because of the size and weight of the weapon you are handling at this distance, it is easier to be thrown off balance when fighting at this range more than any other. You must always focus on maintaining your balance when striking with your long-range weapon. Many people become captivated by the size and potential destructive power of a weapon such as a halberd or poleaxe. This makes them prone to engaging in an undead version of Home Run Derby, swinging the weapon with all their might. Witnesses have seen people stagger, lose weapons, even stumble into a mob of ghouls as a result of an overextended swing. Do not give in to this temptation. Always maintain even footing, and be in control of your weapon throughout your swing regardless of your target. Better to take two or three balanced strikes to eliminate a zombie than try to do so in a single, awkward rotation.
Avoid the Eyes
With a long-range stabbing weapon such as a spear, you may be tempted to try to attack the brain by driving the weapon through one of the eye sockets. In theory, this is a very effective strike point—it will cause minimal damage to your weapon and does not require excessive strength. In actuality, however, thrusting a weapon into a moving target the size of a quarter requires a great deal of precision and coordination. Untrained individuals have been seen attempting this technique, only to miss numerous times and have the attacking ghoul grab hold and pull the weapon from their hands. Unless you have practiced this technique incessantly and can execute it without fail, it is recommended that you use a different strategy.
Be Wary of Crown Attacks
Another possible enticement for an individual using a heavier bladed weapon is to “cleave the crown,” or attack the top of the head in an attempt to split the ghoul’s skull in half. Although it is undoubtedly a striking sight to behold and can be accomplished with a battle-axe or claymore, it is not recommended. Even if you have the strength and skill to do so, there are several reasons why you should not:1. Your weapon may get stuck: With enough power behind your strike, splitting the skull like a piece of dry cordwood is definitely possible. However, the momentum of the blow may drive the weapon down into the body, embedding it in the neck and torso area and making it difficult to dislodge. The precious seconds required to extract and ready your weapon for another attack may cost you your life, particularly if another undead assailant is waiting in the wings.
2. Your blade will rapidly dull: Your weapons are the lifeline to your survival. Bladed arms need to be sharpened consistently, and persistent contact with bone will shorten their life span under normal wear. Why accelerate the process? Quality long-range weapons can be especially difficult to replace once damaged during a zombie outbreak.
3. It is overkill: You are not auditioning for a barbarian film. An effective neutralizing blow is one that does just enough damage to the zombie brain to prevent it from attacking further. Any additional damage beyond what is minimally required needlessly expends energy, energy that can be put to better use to dispatch another zombie.
Combat Techniques
Because of their significant length and heavier weight, fighting with long-range destructive weapons requires more strength and skill than fighting at other distances. If you find yourself equipped with such a weapon, you can use certain techniques to make your battles with the undead quicker and easier. Recall the vulnerable attack points of the undead physique covered in the section on anatomy. Given the physical properties of your weapon, nearly all of those points can be effectively targeted when fighting at long-range distance. Here are several tested techniques that you can use to target those vulnerabilities.
THE BLINDSIDE
TARGET AREA: TEMPORAL REGION
MOST EFFECTIVE WITH: HEAVY POLEARMS AND BATTLE-AXES
TECHNIQUE: WHILE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOUR OPPONENT
1. Hold your weapon near the middle and end of the shaft with both hands.
2. Raise your weapon and pivot at the waist.
3. Strike the side of the skull in the region above the ear.
4. Follow through on your swing.
THE SKUL
LCAPPER
TARGET AREA: NASAL/ORBITAL REGION
MOST EFFECTIVE WITH: FLAT-BLADED POLEARMS (SPADES, SHOVELS,
AND SCRAPERS)
TECHNIQUE: WHILE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOUR OPPONENT
1. Hold your weapon near the middle and end of the shaft.
2. Aim for the bridge of the nose.
3. Thrust forward aggressively, driving the blade through the skull.
4. Retract your weapon to ensure that it does not get stuck within the skull cavity. A powerful enough thrust can shear the top of a ghoul’s head clean off.
THE MUSASHI
TARGET AREA: NECK/DECAPITATION
MOST EFFECTIVE WITH: BLADED POLEARMS, BATTLE-AXES, AND
GREAT SWORDS
TECHNIQUE: SIMILAR TO THE BLINDSIDE ATTACK, WITH THE EXCEPTION
OF YOUR FINAL TARGET
1. Raise your weapon and pivot at the waist.
2. Strike the side of the neck, following through on your swing.
3. Repeat until the head is separated from the torso.
4. Finish with a neutralizing blow to the severed head.
THE KABOB
TARGET AREA: MIDDLE CRANIAL FOSSA (MCF)/UNDERSIDE OF BRAIN
MOST EFFECTIVE WITH: STABBING/POINTED POLEARMS (SPEARS, PIKES,
AND LANCES)
TECHNIQUE: ONE OF THE MORE DIFFICULT TECHNIQUES TO EXECUTE, BUT
PERFECTLY SUITED TO A LONG-RANGE STABBING WEAPON
1. Hold your weapon near the middle and end of the shaft.
2. Aim the sharpened point of your weapon at the base of the ghoul’s throat.
3. Raise the point until it is under the chin, just inside the mandible.
4. Drive the weapon through the jaw and upward into the braincase.
Weapon Throwing
There may come a time when, as a result of media influence, poor advice, or simple overconfidence, you may be tempted to hurl your weapon at a ghoul in the distance in order to neutralize it. This is generally not recommended. Even in situations in which you witness a partner or family member in imminent danger, throwing your weapon is not a suggested option. There are several reasons why this technique is highly discouraged:1. Weapon design: Armaments that are thrown are often explicitly engineered to do so. Weapons that are crafted to be hurled have better design, weight, and balance qualities that facilitate their aerodynamic properties. Although any weapon can be thrown, there is a high likelihood that an inexperienced thrower who tosses an ordinary edged weapon at an undead opponent will watch in dismay as the wrong end bounces harmlessly off the target’s body, if it hits the mark at all. Even if the throw manages to reach the target, remember that the blow is effective only if it penetrates the assailant’s white brain matter.
2. Skill level: Should you happen to acquire a throwing weapon, the skill required to consistently “stick” such a weapon requires years of dedicated training. If you fling your armament in order stop an impending attack on a loved one, you run the risk of hitting the person you seek to protect rather than your intended undead target. Remember that you are aiming for a small, moving target—the undead skull. Striking such a target with sufficient force to neutralize an attacking zombie would be a challenge even to a seasoned, professional knife thrower.
3. Retrieval: Throwing your weapon means losing your weapon, even if it is a temporary loss. Unless the armament you pitch is a backup to your primary weapon, being unarmed, even for a few moments, is a precarious risk during a zombie assault. If you follow our earlier recommendations of having a weapon handy for every combat range, you should have another means of protection available. In any case, having to spend time retrieving a thrown weapon means less time accomplishing other tasks, such as eliminating other undead threats in the vicinity.
Should none of these reasons convince you that throwing your weapon is a poor combat decision, try tossing your weapon at a stationary target at a variety of distances. Unless you achieve 100 percent accuracy in hit and penetration rate, you should probably avoid this tactic altogether. Use an appropriate long-range or ballistic weapon for distance neutralization, and keep your hand weapons where they belong—in your hand.
A Few Words on Decapitation
We have seen it depicted repeatedly on both the big and small screens—the conquering hero, facing off against a throng of opponents, draws his mighty saber. With a single, effortless swing of his blade, he lops the heads from his adversaries with ease. Were it only so easy.
Because decapitation has been so dramatically embellished in entertainment media, most of the population is unaware of how difficult it is to actually separate a head from its attached torso. Let’s examine the actual physical dynamics necessary in a decapitation attack. The average zombie neck is approximately fifteen inches in circumference. Not only must you slice through several different sets of muscle groups, you also must sever the spine and the cartilaginous rings of the trachea. Unlike what is depicted onscreen, only the most proficient and trained warriors are able to decapitate adversaries with a single swipe of the blade. For the average civilian, it may require up to six swings to completely chop through a zombie’s neck. Although long-range weapons are heavier and more likely to make decapitation easier, it is still an intensely strenuous act.
The death of Japanese author Yukio Mishima is quite possibly the best nonzombie example of how difficult the act of decapitation actually is. In 1970, as an act of defiance against the emperor, Mishima committed seppuku, ritual suicide, in the Tokyo headquarters of the Japanese Self-Defense Forces Eastern Command. In the tradition of this act, Mishima was to be decapitated at the end of the ritual. This important task was assigned to his friend, Masakatsu Morita. Morita was untrained in the use of a sword. After three attempts to decapitate his friend using the author’s own priceless samurai sword, Morita ultimately failed. Hiroyasu Koga, another friend who was present and a trained kenshi,14 grabbed the sword and decapitated Mishima. Koga watched as Morita also committed seppuku, and then decapitated him as well. Why Mishima chose his untrained friend rather than the experienced Koga to execute the finishing act in the first place is unknown.
What can we learn from this historical incident? Reality can be a harsh teacher; although most of us would like to believe we could perform like the trained Koga, most of the population will fall into the Morita camp. This is nothing to be ashamed of. In due time and with the experience gained from even a single zombie encounter, your skill levels will steadily increase to where you may eventually perform like a skilled swordfighter. What is important is that you recognize that regardless of what you have seen onscreen, the actual act of decapitation is far more difficult than you can imagine.
MEDIUM-RANGE/ MELEE COMBAT
SAFETY LEVEL OF ENGAGEMENT: MEDIUM
COMBAT SKILL REQUIRED AT THIS DISTANCE: MEDIUM
RISK OF INFECTION: 10-15%
Medium-range or melee combat is defined as engagement with the undead at a distance of 2 to 3 feet (0.6 to 0.9 meters) between opponents. The striking areas on the skull addressed previously in long-range combat are the same regions you should target at melee range. In fact, you may have a greater opportunity to attack these points given the improved control you will possess with a shorter, easier-to-handle weapon. For this reason, as well as weapon availability, terrain, and skill level, melee range is the most common distance at which undead combat takes place. Of all the possible undead combat ranges, melee combat requires the least amount of technical skill. It does, however, present its own unique set of challenges, the greatest being that you will be fighting at a distance where you are vulnerable to a ghoul’s reach.
Melee Combat Strategies
Just as in long-range combat, you should be aware of a few general strategies during any engagement that falls within the melee range.
The Fatal Funnel
The method by which you confront your undead opponent at melee range could significantly impact your level of vulnerability. The most common mistake untrained combatants m
ake when engaging an attacker at this distance is walking into “the fatal funnel.” Those with law enforcement experience may be familiar with this term, as it traditionally describes the vulnerable area an officer faces when entering the doorway to a room or hallway containing potential threats. In relation to zombie combat, we’re describing the scenario of confronting an undead attacker at melee range from the most dangerous position—directly head on.
Unfortunately, many individuals mistakenly engage an attacking ghoul this way, as it is how we universally confront human adversaries. Never forget that your opponent is now anything but human. You must contend with not only a zombie’s gnashing mouth, but also its scratching, infected hands, which at this point will be outstretched and seeking to pull you toward its open jaws. The triangular area comprising the ghoul’s mouth and two hands is what’s known as the fatal funnel. Your strategy in this situation should be to take advantage of the zombie’s restricted speed and coordination and work the perimeter of your opponent for your attack.