by Lucy Lambert
“Hey!” curly hair said, smiling.
“Hi… Have you guys seen Jenn? Jenn McLaughlin? She’s right next door.”
The girls looked at each other.
“Not me,” straight hair said.
“Me neither… wait!” curly said, “Is she the Goth chick? The one who’s always in, like, black clothes and shiny boots?”
“Yeah, that’s her,” I said, not really feeling like debate what visual motifs made someone a Goth or not. I could feel my blood pressure rise. Did this girl know where Jenn was or not?
“Umm… I think I saw her last night. I got up to use the bathroom and I saw her all dressed to go. Yeah, she looked pissed or something; her face was all pinched up anyway.”
“Did you see her come back?” I said.
Curly shook her head, “No. Why, is everything okay?”
“Oh my god is, like, something wrong?” straight hair asked, clutching her knees up to her chest and rocking herself.
“I don’t know. I’m not sure. This is my cell number, when she gets back, shoot me a text, would you?” I said, grabbing a pen off the desk between their beds and scribbling my number down on a pad of stationary in the shape of a daisy.
“Totally,” curly said.
Chapter 20
When I got outside, the sun had already managed to burn away most of the mist. It was now just a slight haze around everything. I could see across the grass into the trees, down the road. Lots of students milled about, walking around, but I didn’t catch sight of Jenn.
I leaned against the building, pinching the bridge of my nose between thumb and forefinger. I forced myself to take a few long, even breaths.
“Come on, Jenn… Where are you?”
I looked at my phone. No new messages. Part of me was irked that Adam hadn’t given me a follow-up call to explain just what in the hell happened last night, but that part was swallowed up by the worry.
I put my phone against my forehead as though I could will her to call.
My stomach panged. At first, I thought it was just more worry. Then it growled at me. In my rush, I hadn’t even grabbed any breakfast. Worry had overridden hunger, but now it was my stomach that threatened to eat me from the inside out.
There was no point to continuing the search if I was going to collapse from starvation. I decided to go to the student center to grab a sandwich or something to keep me going.
As I walked, weaving my way around the groups of people on the sidewalk too rude to let me past, I wondered if I should file a missing persons report. I didn’t think I could yet. All the crime shows and movies and whatnot always said you had to wait twenty four to forty eight hours before doing that.
My shoes squelched in the mucky grass and dirt as I sidestepped two tall guys wearing football jerseys.
It would be great if Adam were here, I thought. It would just be nice to have him walking beside me, even if he offered no other help. Aside from his freak-out last night, I felt calm and safe when I was near him.
Besides, he was out last night. Maybe he’d seen Jenn. It would give me some place to start my search.
Thinking of him made me think of our date, as well. That had been one tasty burger. I clutched my stomach as it rumbled at the memory.
Finally, I got to the student center. The heat was on inside. Students and faculty scuttled about, their dozens of conversations buzzing in the air as I went up the couple steps onto the main floor and made me way to the cafeteria.
I followed my nose. It smelled like meatball day. Saliva squirted into my mouth, and for those few minutes while I stood in line with a tray in my hand, I forgot about everything but that most basic need: sustenance.
I found a place to sit near the corner of the big room. It was a tall space, cutting up through the second and third floors (I could hear and see students moving on those balconies). Sunlight streamed in through tall windows.
“Stop your whining,” I said to my stomach as I grabbed my meatball sandwich.
I’d just finished wiping my mouth, all my attention still focused on the tray in front of me, when someone sat down across from me.
“Are you Stephanie Hurst?”
I looked up, surprised to hear my name. Then my heart dropped. It was another guy wearing a letterman jacket with that big, golden “R” stitched onto the breast. He had hair almost as light as mine, and cropped short around the ears. His face could only be described as masculine, with a strong jaw and chin.
His eyes were almost turquoise under a pair of charcoal eyebrows. Somehow, I just knew this guy was from that same frat as Eric and Joseph. Only those jerks wore jackets like that.
Though he was much better looking than either Eric or Joseph. I had to give him that, at least.
My eyes searched out the exits from the cafeteria, and I wondered how quickly I’d be able to run to one. I didn’t need another horny, big-mouthed asshole trying to hit on me right then.
“Yeah,” I said, trying to slide out of my seat as nonchalantly as possible.
“Good, I was looking for you,” he said. His smile was innocent enough, and I didn’t see the sparkle of a mischievous ulterior motive in those startling eyes of his.
“Really?” I said, about ready to make me break for the exit.
“Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
What? It was such a strange statement coming from a guy wearing that jacket. It caught me totally off guard.
“How do you mean?” I said, still eying the double doors beside the counter about fifty feet from that table.
“It was just that I’d heard Eric Putnam talking about you. Whenever I hear him laughing like that, I knew he’s done something bad. Look, you can go if you want, I just wanted to make sure he didn’t hurt you or anything like that. And to apologize on behalf of the entire fraternity for his behavior. We only let him rush because his dad makes large donations every year, you know,” the guy said.
“He… he tried to…” I said. My knees felt a little weak as the memory of the cool grass on my bare returned, of Joseph’s fingernails scratched my thigh.
In an instant, the new guy was on his feet. He put his hands on my shoulders and guided me back down onto the chair. I sat there for a few moments, weathering the storm of my emotions as it blew over me.
“Sorry,” I said. I really wished Adam was there with me right then. Adam and Jenn, actually. It occurred to me that I also hadn’t seen or heard from Adam since last night, either.
“It’s okay, you have nothing to be sorry about. Really, don’t beat yourself up. Did they… did they do something really bad?”
“Almost,” I said, taking a deep breath. I traced a circle on the cool tabletop with my fingertip, concentrating on the smoothness of it.
He sat back down across from me, apparently satisfied that I wasn’t going to break down in the middle of the cafeteria.
“That’s good to hear. Look, I just wanted you to know that we’re not all like that. I’m not, at least.”
“That remains to be seen,” I said. I was just about through with giving people who wore that jacket the benefit of a doubt when it came to whether they were assholes. It was like their whole identity formed through that one piece of clothing and the dumb frat it was associated with.
He smiled and nodded, giving a little laugh. He had a nice smile, and it looked honest enough. But didn’t people say that serial killers all looked nice and normal on the outside?
“I’m Victor Lawson. Vick,” he said, holding out his hand.
I took it after a moment. He gave three vigorous shakes before letting go. I got the impression that he was pretty strong from that grip, though he seemed to have taken care to not squeeze too hard.
“You already know my name,” I said.
Just what had Eric said about me? My suspicion redoubled as I thought about it. Maybe he’d talked me up to his boys back at the frat house and “Vick” here was just playing nice to see if it was all true. Even as I thought it, I
found myself doubting it. No one had a smile that honest unless it was real.
But he just kept smiling at me. His face really was nice. I couldn’t help smiling back at him.
“What? Why do you keep doing that?” I said, looking down into my lap so that I wouldn’t have to stare into his radiance anymore.
“Doing what? Smiling? Are you a robot or something?” he cleared his throat, “I am a machine. Why is it that you smile?”
I laughed, “You’re pretty good at that.”
“But seriously, is something wrong? You seem, I dunno, sad and upset all at once. At first I thought it was Eric, but now I’m not so sure.”
“Perceptive,” I said, again looking down into my lap. I had my fingers laced together, squeezing each other tightly.
I could feel the dam holding all that information in shaking, ready to burst. I knew I couldn’t call the cops yet, and Adam was certainly no help, being AWOL himself. I had to tell somebody. Vick was my somebody, I guess.
“It’s just that my friend, Jenn, went out last night. And now I can’t find her. She wasn’t at her room, she won’t answer her cell… It’s just not like her at all. And it’s all my fault, too!”
I started shaking again, and I squeezed my eyes shut.
Even with my eyes closed, I could feel him there beside me again. Very attentive. This guy wasn’t like the rest of his fraternity in the least, it seemed. It did feel good to have someone actually give a damn like that
“How could it possibly be your fault? Did you kidnap her or something?” he said.
“Of course not!” I said. He’d fallen back down the totem pole with that little joke.
“Whoa, sorry, I didn’t mean to…” he said, backing off a little. He moved so smoothly, as though he were very in tune with his body. I remembered the way his hand felt as it closed around mine.
“No, I didn’t kidnap her. It’s just… I chose to go out with this guy, Adam, instead of with her. If I’d gone with her…”
Vick’s demeanor changed. It was like all his muscles went rigid, and he was focusing every last ounce of his attention on me. I shifted beneath that scrutiny.
“Adam? Adam Arnold?” he asked.
“Yeah… You know him or something?”
“I know of him. Listen,” he said, leaning in close, “You shouldn’t hang around him. He’s not what you think.”
Flashes of last night shone in my mind. I saw Adam’s eyes, the way he hunched over as though in great pain. My skin ripped with goosebumps as I recalled the way his voice had changed.
“I’ll see if I can find your friend. Jenn, right? If you really want to find out what happened to her, ask Adam.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said.
Before Vick could answer, Adam came over and leaned against the chair Vick had just been using.
“Adam!” I said, jumping to me feet.
Vick looked at Adam. I could feel the tension in Vick’s body, radiating out of him. He reached down to the belt loop of his jeans. He looked down when his fingers closed around nothing. What was supposed to be there?
“Hey, Steph. Who’s this?” Adam said. He leaned back and crossed his arms, giving Vick a look the reiterated his question.
“Victor Lawson,” Vick said, “And you’re Adam Arnold.”
I kept looking between them. It was such a strange sight. It was clear that they’d never met each other before. Yet, Vick seemed to want to tear Adam apart with his bare hands.
“I see my reputation precedes me. You boys been talking about me back at the clubhouse again?”
“If I find out you had anything to do with Jenn’s disappearance…” Vick said, letting the threat hang in the air.
It was like something out of an old movie, something you couldn’t take entirely seriously. But Vick was dead serious. His threat even made me shiver.
“Don’t you have to go impress your boyfriends or something?” Adam said.
Today he wore a new shirt, I noticed. His leather jacket seemed stressed, too, a little bigger than it should be on him. It was also torn on the left shoulder. Were those scratch marks on it?
Vick seemed to realize that he was standing in a big room packed with people, and that even being in the school’s only fraternity wouldn’t be enough to get him out of it if he picked a fight right there and then.
He turned and put his hand on my shoulder. I wanted to shrug it off and take a step back, but his grip was too hard.
“Ask him about Jenn, about what he was doing last night. And then don’t have anything to do with him ever again if you like being alive.”
He shouldered past Adam and pushed his way through the crowd. We both watched him until he wrenched one of the exit doors open and disappeared outside.
So much strange stuff had been happening lately that I thought I should discount everything Vick just told me. But he did have a point about Adam. Both he and Jenn went missing last night around the same time. And now Adam was the only one of the two to return.
“What happened to you last night?” I asked.
Adam’s cool demeanor vanished. He looked down at the floor, one hand on the back of his neck as his lank hair hung around his face.
Come on, I thought, just tell me you were allergic to one of the toppings on the burger or something. I’ll buy it.
I wanted there to be some reasonable explanation. Adam was the first guy I’d really felt anything for in a long time. I just needed everything to work out right so badly. Vick’s warning about him kept echoing through my thoughts.
“There’s this thing, about me and my family…” he trailed off.
“What? Like a congenital heart defect or something?”
“Not exactly,” he said, “Hey, what was that guy on about?”
“He really doesn’t like you for some reason. He said you probably had something to do with Jenn disappearing.”
His mouth dropped open and his eyes widened. He was shocked. I knew then that he hadn’t been responsible for whatever had happened to Jenn. No one could be guilty of something like that and then make a face like he had. It had been instantaneous, too, so it wasn’t like he had time to consider his reaction.
“Jenn? She’s the Goth girl that goes to Jim’s parties, right? She’s your friend, isn’t she?”
“Yeah. And she went missing last night. I can’t get a hold of her at all. Her Facebook status said she was taking a walk last night, and she hasn’t been online since.”
“Oh, no…” Adam said.
He looked as though I’d just told him his whole family was killed in a terrible accident.
“So you’re looking for her?” he said.
“Yeah. I just stopped here ‘cause I haven’t had anything to eat since those burgers last night. Hey, you didn’t see Jenn last night when you ran off, did you?”
There were a million other questions I burned to ask him. What the hell his deal was, for one. If he was okay, for another. Whether it was something I’d said or done that had driven him away. But I had to put my own curiosity and insecurity aside for now.
“No. I don’t remember seeing her, anyway.”
I nodded, expecting as much.
“Hey, don’t you have class in, like, fifteen minutes?” Adam said, taking out his phone to glance at the time.
My breath caught as I hauled out my own phone. Crap, it really was about quarter to eleven. And I didn’t even have my books! I’d have to race back to my dorm, then back to the Arnold building. If I left right then, I’d have just enough time, I knew.
But I couldn’t.
“I do, but I can’t stop looking for her…” even as I said it, I could see my scholarship disappearing out from under me, leaving me with nothing to get back home. I felt guilty for thinking about myself when she could be in trouble, but I tried to push past that.
“No, you need to go. Just think of what Jenn will say if she hears you cut class to go looking for her and you lost your scholarship. I don’t h
ave class for a few hours, yet. I’ll keep looking. I know some people who might be able to help,” he said.
An incredible cooling relief flushed through me. It really did feel good to have Adam around again. It felt good to have someone else come up with the answers for once, someone else to shoulder some of the responsibility.
“Are you sure?” I said, feeling guiltier than ever, “I mean, if we both looked…”
“Just go to class, okay? I’ll meet you tonight, here, at six thirty. Got it?”
I felt like I was being ushered away as he stood aside to let me past. Time was ticking. I was already going to be late to lecture, but I could still make it without missing much.
“Thanks…” I said.
“No problem. Go, hurry! You’re gonna be late!”
I was just about to go, but I had to be sure. I had to know. I turned back to him. I couldn’t help seeing those scratches and that tear on his jacket, as though he’d been struggling.
“Adam, are you sure you didn’t see her?” I said, looking right into those incredible turquoise eyes of his.
“No, I can’t remember seeing Jenn last night,” he said.
“Okay,” I said, “Okay.”
I rushed out of the cafeteria, an uneasy feeling permeating my entire body.
I couldn’t tell whether Adam had just lied to me or not.
Chapter 21
In class, I forced myself to concentrate on the professor’s words. As with many first year courses, this lecture took place in a large hall designed to seat a couple hundred restless students.
It was in the Arnold building, and as such had plenty of natural light coming in through the big windows at the back. By this point in the semester, everyone had “their” seat. Mine was three rows up and just off the middle, tending towards the left-side of the semi-circular room.
Jenn’s was the seat on my left. It was empty today. I kept glancing at it, kept seeing her there out of the corner of my eye.
Before I knew it, the professor (a beak-nosed woman with streaks of grey through her black hair) announced the end of class.
The notepad I had open on my little desk had only about a page’s worth of writing on it. Normally, in this class, I took two or three sheets worth of notes.