“Yeah, well, I’ll find something. So wait a while and call me then. If you ever decide to come down south.”
“Will you have a spot for me? Is that some kind of a veiled promise?”
Percy, in the fashion she’d come to expect, shook his head. He took a step back and leaned up against the door frame again. “It’s nothing at all. If you believe in fantasies, it’s probably one of them.”
“I don’t know if fantasies are something you can believe in. They’re something that you think of because your reality isn’t good enough.”
“Obviously I didn’t major in English either.” Percy gave her a long hard look before he slipped back inside and shut the door.
Shanna waited a few minutes, irrationally hoping that he’d come and open the door again. That he’d come out and say he changed his mind. That he’d bruise her mouth with kisses, take her inside, ram her up against the door and fuck her senseless. He didn’t.
Finally she turned and walked back the way she came. She had his number. As long as he didn’t change it, it was more than she could hope for. He won’t change it. I know he won’t. Fantasies. She certainly believed in those. All of hers had come true. Because of him. She should have told him that, but she hadn’t. Dreams. She wasn’t sure if she believed in dreams. It was her dream to one day see Percy again, to see him whole and well and ready to… to be with her. Fantasy or dream, she was pretty sure it would never happen.
Chapter 15
PERCY
Percy stared at the cryptic text on his phone. Shanna. He’d spent every single day trying not to listen for the sound of her text, trying not to believe that she cared. He’d stared at her number, over and over, until he barely had the restraint he needed. She’d been there in Mexico for a week and she’d completely turned his life upside down. She’d managed to achieve things he never thought possible. That he hadn’t ever been able to do on his own, for himself. Her touch started the healing in a part of himself that he always thought would be broken.
After a month he pretty much gave up hope that she was going to get in contact. It hadn’t been long enough. Maybe it had been too long. She wasn’t interested. Or maybe she was, but she knew it would never work with someone as fucked up as he was. He’d told her everything, all the dark shitty details of his past. At heart, she was a good girl and he was a bad guy. Fairy tale endings didn’t happen in real life. She was probably off enjoying her life. She’d probably found someone else to make her happy, to give her pleasure and make her come. The thought nearly drove him crazy.
And then one morning, thirty-three days after Shanna left, his phone went off. No one else had his number. He didn’t even know why he had a damn phone. It sure as hell wasn’t for communication. He knew it was her.
He’d waited a few hours, trying to shore up his courage, trying to get himself together, before he read the text.
PERCY… I NEED YOU TO COME TO THE STATES. PLEASE. I’M IN TROUBLE.
He’d panicked at the message. What kind of trouble? Had someone from his past tracked him down and tried to get to him through her? He knew that couldn’t be true. There was no one from his past that had a bone to pick with him. He’d wrapped up as much as he could before he left. Slim Rick was dead. Everyone else, his brothers, were long gone, on to whatever the next phase in their life was.
His hand shook when he texted back.
WHAT KIND OF TROUBLE?
He waited a moment. He was sure she wouldn’t answer right away, but she did.
I CAN’T TELL YOU OVER THE PHONE. IT’S NOT RIGHT. WE NEED TO TALK IN PERSON.
He thought about it for a long time. It wasn’t easy for him to go back to the States. For starters, his passport and other ID was fake. He’d kept his first name, but had changed his last. He’d changed his birth date, his home town, everything. He’d paid dearly for that identity but the guy had done a good job and it was rock solid. Still, he didn’t like to tempt fate. Going back seemed like stepping back into a part of his life that he wanted to close the door on.
Although, if he did go back, he could stop along the way. He had a good friend, one of his brothers from the gang. He hadn’t seen Sean in a long time. He felt like he owed the guy for his freedom, at least in part. It might be nice to stop in and see how he was doing. At the time, a few years ago, he had a woman he was seeing. Maybe he’d married her. Maybe he had kids of his own.
Percy wanted to text back that he’d buy Shanna a plane ticket, but he didn’t. His fingers hovered over the phone for a long time before he finally typed in a response.
GIVE ME A FEW DAYS. I’LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN.
He didn’t mean to hold his breath while she was typing. He could see that she was responding. His damn phone told him that she was. It hitched in his lungs all the same, burning until he let it out in a long rush.
THANK YOU. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS MEANS. I WOULDN’T ASK IF IT WASN’T URGENT.
Right. He knew that. He knew Shanna. This wasn’t just some stupid trick just to try and get a trip to Mexico out of him or get laid again. There was something else. Something he couldn’t imagine.
And now that he knew something was wrong, he couldn’t stay away. Shanna texted her address. He waited for a few minutes, hoping she might change her mind or just tell him what she needed. He’d do anything for her. Did she know that? Of course she doesn’t. She has no idea how pathetic I’ve become since she left. Maybe not pathetic. He’d definitely softened, but that wasn’t pathetic. Especially where she was concerned.
She didn’t. There was no other explanation forthcoming. He didn’t think Shanna was stubborn or cryptic. He hadn’t seen her as dark or mysterious. He thought he was the only one with secrets and a past and troubles and darkness. Maybe he was wrong.
Worry turned his stomach sour. He slammed down his phone and stalked around the house, already throwing a bag together. He’d take only what he needed. He had no idea how long it would take to get to Ohio from there, but he was damn well going to make the time as short as possible. He’d sleep wild and hard, on the ground like he was used to. He didn’t mind it the way some people did. It had never been a curse. It was more a blessing. He liked seeing the stars above him. It was nearly as healing and therapeutic as riding his bike.
What if it’s really not an emergency? What if her emergency is that she needs me? That she thinks she can make this work out? He almost wished it was. He didn’t mind the idea half as much as he had the first time he’d set eyes on her. He wasn’t ready for her to storm into his life, but she’d come over him like a tidal wave or a hurricane. She’d entrenched herself inside of him. He’d always be grateful to her. Maybe she knew how a long trip like that could work wonders on him now that he was open to it. Maybe she sensed that his heart was softening, bleeding, ready to not be so damn alone.
No. Even if she did, she wouldn’t do this. She wouldn’t make up an emergency. This is real. He just wished he knew what it was. He wouldn’t rest easy, or stop, until he saw Shanna again and assured himself that everything was alright. And if it wasn’t, he’d do everything in his power to make it that way.
Chapter 16
SHANNA
There was a part of Shanna that thought she’d never see Percy again; deep down in her heart, in the place where doubts and fears were stored. When she pulled open the door four days after her frantic text and found him standing there, the darkness of the night surrounding him, bathed in the glow of the small black and white globe lights that adorned the condo site, her lungs deflated. All the air rushed out of her body and she nearly broke down and wept at the sight of him. There was a part of her too, that leapt for joy, that burned wildly, like a flame flaring back to life. The nerves and the anxiety churning inside of her dampened the longing.
He looked exactly the way she remembered him. Close cropped hair, angular features, burning eyes, lips a little too thin, a hard set of the jaw, short cropped hair, powerful shoulders, trim waist, a stance that was so imposing it made him seem like he
was seven feet tall. He was dressed as usual, in a black leather jacket, probably with a black t-shirt underneath, and jeans. They weren’t black that time, they were dark though. His riding boots completed it all.
“Hey...” She’d thought about him coming back, thought about him so much, especially over the past few days, thought about what she’d say or do, that when it came right down to it, she was useless. She opened her mouth again, but no sound came out. All she could do was open the door of her small condo and take a step back.
Percy inclined his head and stepped inside. He said nothing until after he’d closed the door firmly behind him. He glanced around at the small entrance which opened right up into the living room. Beyond that was the kitchen. The set of stairs to go up to the bedrooms and the bathroom were right off the entrance as well.
Shanna didn’t ask him if he wanted her to take his jacket and hang it in the closet. She didn’t know what to do with herself, how to begin, or what to say, so she offered the next best thing she could think of.
“Can I get you a cup of coffee?”
Percy slowly frowned. His eyes met hers and those blue orbs were so assessing, so filled with fire, that she had to glance away. “Are you having some?”
“Yeah. Sure. I’ll put the pot on then. Have a seat. In the living room or at the island.” Her eyes danced around the room, still filled up with boxes from her move little more than a week before. They were in half open states, some with the contents piled around them. There was a pile to donate right off the entrance that was currently in overflow status. “I’m sorry about the mess. I just moved in nine days ago.”
“It’s nice,” Percy assured her in clipped tones. He trailed behind her and took a seat at the island on one of the bar stools. Everything in the place was second hand. She’d tried to find nice things, but there was only so much she could do on a limited budget.
Shanna made quick work of the coffee. She had one of those fancy machines that brewed up just a cup at a time or lattes and espressos, but she opted for the old hat, trusty eight dollar machine. She’d had it for years. It survived the move to the storage unit and then the move to the condo.
“I’m just renting,” she mumbled as she set a mug in front of Percy. She grabbed the sugar bowl and the cream out of the fridge, remembering all too well how he liked it. The last time he did this he told me all about his life. It’s crazy we’re only on our second cup of coffee together and now I have to tell him something that’s going to change him forever.
“Still. It’s nice.”
“It was a fairly good deal. My mom helped me look for something. She was actually really helpful after I got back from Mexico. Less overbearing.”
“Was she?” Percy put a few spoons of sugar into his coffee. He reached for the carton of cream and poured until the dark brew became a pale shade. “Or was it just that you were different and she was able to get away with less?”
Despite the anxiety tying her stomach into knots, the lump in her throat and her accelerated heartbeat, a little snort of laughter escaped her throat. “Maybe. Probably. I came back as a person she didn’t quite know how to deal with. I do let her get away with less because I speak up for myself now.”
“You probably had those ideas before. You just needed a change.”
“A change.” If that’s what he wants to call it… “We both changed a lot then. I think.” She pulled out the bar stool beside Percy and sat down before she could say anything that sounded any stupider. She made sure that she put a few inches between them.
They sipped their coffee in silence before Percy put his mug down. Shanna didn’t know where to start, so maybe it was a good thing that he took the lead. His eyes swept to her face. They were dark, searching, troubled, worried. Hers probably looked the same.
“Will you tell me, Shanna, what kind of trouble you’re in? You have no idea how worried I’ve been. I could barely focus on the drive…”
“I’m sorry,” she said quickly. Pain blossomed in her chest and fear leached into her stomach. “I didn’t mean to upset you. Although I know that text- uh- I didn’t know what to say- I don’t know how to tell you now.”
Shockingly, his hand moved. It covered hers, large, rough and calloused. His skin was even darker than before and she had to think that he didn’t wear gloves when he rode for them to be that much more tanned. Maybe he’d just been outside more often…
“You can tell me. Anything. I’ll do everything in my power to help.”
This from a man I knew for a week. For a few days. For two nights. Really one and a half nights. She realized what she’d known all along, what she hadn’t been able to put into words. Percy was a good man. The best. He was willing to help her, and he didn’t even know her. He was willing to drive across the country, miles and miles on a bike, to come to her over a single text. Shanna knew few people, no- she knew no one, who would have done the same for her.
“I…” she had to look away. His hand tightened over hers. She stared off into the kitchen, stared at nothing at all. Her vision blurred and it took her a second to realize it was because her eyes filled up with tears. She slowly turned back to him, because she knew she had to look at him when she told him. “I’m- I’m pregnant.”
Shanna watched as shock filtered over Percy’s face. He was unable to hide the shadows that tightened his features a few seconds later. His eyes darkened the way she’d seen them before, until they were almost black, eaten up by the pupil. He slowly moved his hand away and she felt bereft without his warmth, without the solid reassurance of his touch. She knew how big a deal it was for him to make that gesture in the first place.
“Pregnant,” he said flatly. One by one those walls that she was so used to seeing, walls she hadn’t noticed when he walked in, slammed back up. She panicked at the gulf that was already spreading between them. “That night. You said you were on the pill.”
“I was! I have been on the pill for years. I’ve never had an issue. Never even had a scare!”
Percy blinked slowly. He looked away and when his eyes returned, they were almost frightening. He was the kind of man who could be more than intimidating if he wanted to be. Shanna wasn’t used to him looking at her like that- like he felt nothing at all. She’d never seen his eyes so dead and hard and cold. A shiver swept up her spine.
“Or maybe you weren’t on it at all,” he said flatly, anger underlying every single word.
“No!” She shook her head frantically. Desperation clawed at her throat and flooded her chest. “I would never lie to you about something like that.”
“I had condoms. I was going to use them.”
“I know. I’m serious. I’ve never had a scare. I didn’t think there was any need…”
“Or maybe you just wanted to come down to Mexico and get someone to knock you up. Your fiancé broke up with you. You were alone. You had no idea what you were going to do with the next phase of your life. You were looking for someone else to support you and look after you. It was easy, to find someone who you knew had some money. Someone to trick into giving you a kid so that you’d be set for life. I imagine it’s a little like winning the lottery.”
Shanna raised her hand. There was a loud smack in the room and she jumped, nearly out of her seat, when she realized she’d brought her palm down hard on the counter. She glared at Percy.
“I can’t believe you could sit there and say that. Don’t you know me at all?” Why is he really saying such horrible things? Because he wants to end this and keep himself safe from having to feel anything, or because he really means it?
“No,” he said flatly, coldly. “How could I? You were in Mexico for a week. I did trust you, somehow. You were very convincing. Or maybe I was just at the time in my life when I was ready to let down my guard like a fool. You might have played me, but that stops. Right fucking now.”
“So you’re not even going to support your child?”
“I didn’t say that.” Percy’s face went completely devoid o
f emotion, the mask in place once again. He was a master of it, of coldness, of showing absolutely no emotion, of giving nothing away. He’d used it to survive in the past and now he was using it on her. She hated it. Every single second of it. “If and when you prove to me that it’s mine by a DNA test, I will send you money every month. But I want nothing to do with the kid.” He seemed to reconsider for a moment and Shanna’s hopes soared, only to be crushed. “I don’t know you at all. Maybe you’re not even broken up with your fiancé. Maybe the two of you were in it together. Go down to Mexico. Get knocked up by some guy with money. Share in the reward.”
“What are you talking about?” Shanna spat. She didn’t want to lose her temper, but he was beyond infuriating.
“I don’t know. Maybe the fact that there are pictures of you together in that box right by the entrance. You should have closed that up before I got here.”
“I have nothing to hide!” Shanna glared at him defiantly. “That’s the pile to donate. I packed all my shit up in less than a day at the house we shared together. I put it all in storage and just got my stuff out a few days ago. I’ve been buying furniture and borrowing trucks and signing lease papers and I was too busy to worry about disposing of that shit. I was going to donate it all. The frames are still usable.”
“Or maybe it’s his. The kid. Maybe it’s the other guy’s and he left you and you panicked. Wanted to pass it off on someone else. That won’t work. The only way you’ll get a cent is when you prove it’s mine.”
“So you’re going to what?” Shanna ground out. “Sit there and not hear a word I say because you don’t want to? Think the worst of me because it’s convenient and easier than feeling anything at all inside that black fucking heart of yours? You can say what you want and think what you want, but I know the truth. I was on the pill. I never lied to you. I didn’t trick you. If you can’t tell the difference between what was real and what wasn’t real, then I feel sorry for you. Really fucking sorry. You’re even more lost than you know.”
Lonely Rider - The Box Set: A Motorcycle Club Romance - The Complete Series Page 10