by L A Cotton
~
The road was pitch black. Not even the headlights cut through it, and my whole body hummed with adrenaline. It was always the same when we ran errands for Uncle Marcus. For as much as I hated being involved with the family business, I couldn’t deny the buzz. The one flowing through me, making me feel alive.
“So where’s the drop?” I asked Braiden, as he navigated the Jeep through the darkness.
“Somewhere on the edge of Tillamook. The GPS will get us there.”
“Who’s the handler?”
Braiden shrugged. He rarely knew the details, just stormed into whatever his dad asked him, and then some. I, on the other hand, preferred to be prepared. Being prepared could be the difference between things going according to plan and things going to shit.
My eyes stared into the black abyss, my mind empty, focused only on the task at hand. There wasn’t time for distraction when you were handling Donohue business. Something flashed in the side mirror and my eyes darted to the rearview mirror to check it out. “Did you see that?”
“What?” Braiden replied.
“I thought I saw lights… a tail?”
“Man, you’re paranoid. There’s no fucking tail.” Braiden slowed the engine and turned his head checking out the road behind us. “See, nothing.”
He was right. Whatever I saw wasn’t a car. The road was empty for miles in both directions.
Ten minutes later, Braiden turned off the main road and followed a dirt track into the middle of nowhere. My eyes scanned our surroundings, trying to focus enough to make out where the hell we were, looking for exits, landmarks, any sign of life.
“This is it. X marks the spot.” Braiden laughed, and I wondered how in the hell he was always so laid back at these things. I wasn’t scared, just always prepared for the worst. “Grab the gear out of the trunk, and I’ll wait at the meet spot.”
I did as he directed, retrieving the two bags from the trunk and meeting Braiden up ahead of the Jeep in a small clearing.
My heart beat furiously and there was ringing in my ears as the adrenaline pumped through me. We only waited a couple of minutes before footsteps approached us from the left.
"Donohue? That you?" a familiar voice called out.
"Over here, Perkins."
I breathed a sigh of relief. Perkins was a regular. We dealt with him a lot, and my defenses stepped down a notch.
Perkins came into view, his black jacket blending into the night’s sky. "Money's in the bag. Unmarked twenties."
Braiden nodded at me and I stepped forward, dropping the two bags at his feet. He threw the smaller bag at me, before hauling the bags over his shoulder. "It's a pleasure as al-"
The sound of tires screeching came out of nowhere and my hand shot out to Perkins, but he shrugged me off, startled.
"This isn't me. Is it you?" he accused.
Braiden's face searched for the car, the veins in his neck pulsating with anger. "It's not us. Go, NOW."
Perkins started to run, but the flash of headlights blinded him. He stumbled and rolled just in time to miss the oncoming car. I grabbed Braiden and yanked him to me, clutching the bag.
"Who the fuck is that?"
"Who do you think?" I snapped, watching the car pull a donut and start toward us. "There's only one fuck crazy enough to pull this. Calder."
The car was headed straight for us. We would never outrun it. Braiden planted his feet and squared his shoulders. The guy either had no fear or a freaking death wish.
I braced myself, but the car swerved at the last second and the passenger door flew open. The guy blindsided me out of nowhere and snatched the bag. As I hit the ground hard, he made off toward Perkins.
"Braiden, he has the bag. Get to Perkins," I shouted, trying to push myself up off the ground. Braiden shot off after the passenger, and I righted myself ready to follow them.
"Not so fast." The words didn’t cause me to freeze; it was the click of the barrel loading that did. "Don't move."
I slowly turned to face Calder. His eyes burned with crazy, and I inched my hands up in surrender. "Cole. Think this through."
He pressed the gun nearer and said, "Don't fucking speak. Merrick, you got it?"
"Yeah,” a voice called from the darkness, and I tried to look out of the corner of my eye, but it was useless. Everything merged into one big oblivious shadow.
"Both down." A guy came into view carrying all three bags. "We better get out of here before they come to." His eyes widened when he noticed the gun trained on me.
Calder's eyes darted to his accomplice and he ordered, "Get in the car, Merrick."
"But-"
"I said get in the fucking car."
Merrick stalked off, leaving just Calder and me. And the gun.
"Tell Donohue this makes us even." He backed up toward the car and started to fold himself into the open door. "Oh, and Pierce? You really shouldn't let your property wander around unguarded. Especially on our territory."
I didn't have time to consider his threat. My eardrums exploded as the shot rang out in the desolate field. My hands moved instinctively to my ears, as I watched the car speed away.
"Braid? Braiden?" I called out frantically, moving further into the darkness.
There was a grumble up ahead and my eyes adjusted enough to see two figures lying on the ground. Perkins was out cold still, but Braiden was coming around.
"Calder's a dead man." Braiden groaned, clutching his head.
I reached down and yanked him to his feet, just as Perkins started to rouse. "Wha-what was that?"
"Our problem, not yours," Braiden growled, helping him up.
"They stole Maconey money and the coke. It's a Maconey problem, too, Donohue."
Braiden pounded his fist into the air. "Fuck. Dad will lose his shit."
Perkins cracked his neck from side to side and eyed me. "Take care of him; don't let him do anything stupid. Maconey will be in touch."
I nodded and pulled Braiden away before he did anything stupid.
“Get the fuck off me. I’m okay.” Braiden shrugged out of my grasp and brushed himself off. “How the fuck are we going to explain this to Dad? No money and no coke.”
We reached the Jeep and climbed in, and I lay my head back against the rest. “We just tell him the truth. He’ll find out one way or another. Perhaps he can reach out to Declan. Cole said this was him getting even, but I have a feeling things are only just beginning.” There was something about his veiled threat. Don’t leave your property unguarded, he had said. He could have only meant one thing: Ana. I had almost launched myself at him to beat the meaning out of him. Except I couldn’t alert Braiden because it would only give him more ammunition against me. No, I had to sit on it—it was between Calder and me. There was no way in hell I was going to let him lay a finger on Ana, even if it meant going against Braiden and making myself a presence in her life. I just had to work out how to do that without actually doing it.
~
“Jackson, get my coat?” Briony laid her hand on my arm and squeezed gently, batting her made-up eyes at me. I grimaced, forcing a nod. It was easier than telling her to get her own damn coat.
We had been at the mixer for over three hours and it was unbearable. If the tux wasn’t already cutting off my air supply, Briony’s constant over-the-top flirting would have. There was no denying that she looked hot; the black dress clung to her delicate curves like a second skin, and every guy in the room had a boner for her. But it was Briony—the girl I grew up with, fought with over the last cookie, ganged up against Braiden in water fights and played pranks on. I didn’t see her like that. Plus, the girl was a crazy bitch. I had seen her rip out guys’ hearts and then set Braiden on them when they broke hers. I didn’t think anyone had ever told her no—except me. But it didn’t stop her from trying, and since Ana, she had been coming on stronger and stronger.
“Thanks, babe.” She beamed at me, slipping into the fur-lined coat, as she said goodbye to her friends.
/>
“You guys should totally come to Portland with us this weekend?” The girl with the short dark hair said, and Briony smiled, flashing her perfectly white teeth at her. “Oh, we’d love to, but we have plans.”
The fuck we did. I was just about to set her straight when she brushed up close to me and kissed my cheek. Her lips lingered for a second before inching toward my lips. My stomach bottomed out, and I pulled back slightly to look at her, my eyes boring into her. I wanted to puke.
She had taken it too far. The whole night she had played up our relationship, failing to correct anyone when they had assumed we were together. I shrugged her off my arm, said a curt goodbye to the small group, and headed for the door. Air. I needed air before I really lost my shit.
“Jackson, wait. I’m sorry.”
I spun on my heels and faced her. “What the fuck was that, Briony?”
“I got carried away. We were having a good time, and it was nice. It felt right.” The color drained from her face and her eyes filled with what looked like regret.
“I told you it was just business. You took it too far back there.”
Something flashed in her eyes and she squared her shoulders. I knew that look; she didn’t regret anything, and she was readying herself for a challenge. Briony Donohue didn’t take no for an answer, and she looked like she was done hearing me turn her down.
Her hand crept up her chest and brushed along her bare neck, sweeping her wild curls off her skin. “Tell me you don’t want me?” She stuck out her bottom lip, batted her eyes up at me and pouted. “We’d be so good together.”
But you’re not Ana.
My eyes fell shut. It felt wrong to be thinking of her when Briony was standing in front of me practically begging me to fuck her. I didn’t want Briony—I didn’t, but I was still a guy and my body was affected by her.
Ana. She’s not Ana, my mind screamed, as I opened my eyes and drew in a short breath. Briony had moved closer and was almost pressing into me. I backed up, trying to put some distance between us. “Briony, no.”
She pouted again and reached out for me, but I batted her hand away. “I said no. I need to get out of here. Go home, go back to the party, I don’t care. Just get the fuck out of my way.”
Her face paled but quickly turned to a scowl. “What the fuck is the matter with you? I’m offering it up to you on a plate, and you’re telling me no?” She flipped me off and bolted back into the party. My body sagged with relief, and I dragged a hand through my hair. Shit was spinning out of control. I needed her.
I needed Ana.
Chapter 7
~ANA~
“’Night Sarah. I’ll see you tomorrow, no doubt,” I called out to the library assistant. We became friends after I started visiting the building two or three nights a week. Sometimes even four. Sitting in the dorm on my own wasn’t working. I had even written out email after email to Dr. Simmonds, my counselor back in Fort Pierce, but every time my finger hovered over the send button, I hit delete instead. Unsure of how she would respond to my relapse, I couldn’t take the risk. Patient confidentiality meant she couldn’t inform anyone unless she was convinced that I was a serious risk to myself, but with my history, I couldn’t risk her alerting Aunt Betsy.
My aunt and uncle had let me come to Chastity Falls with a good heart, agreeing that a fresh start away from Fort Pierce was what I needed. What we all needed. Besides, I was an adult. It was not like they could keep me there. The insurance money from the accident easily covered the exorbitant fees at CFA, and I didn’t have to worry about money. But if they found out that I was slipping back into my old habits, I knew Aunt Betsy would intervene. She would haul my ass back to the hospital without as much as a hello.
“’Night, Ana. You wrap up, it’s cold out there,” Sarah called from one of the stacks.
The library was empty, but then, not many students wanted to study on a Friday night. Elena and Tyson were out celebrating their official anniversary. Paul had offered to come by and watch a movie, but I didn’t want to blur the lines between us. We were finally in the friend zone, and I didn’t want to risk ruining that because I needed him.
Pulling my jacket tighter around my neck, I tucked my bag under my arm. Sarah was right, it was cold, and the damp air lingered under the light of the lamps like a shimmering spider’s web. Headed in the direction of McGinley, I had to walk past the student center and Carver Hall. The sidewalks were empty; the only sound was the faint laughs and cheers coming from an event in Carver's function room.
My eyes followed the path, lost in the pattern of the stones and the overgrown grass snaking over the edges. I didn’t see the person rounding the corner until it was too late.
“Shit.” My nose collided with a solid chest, and I stepped back, shaking off the impact. I looked up and my heart jumped into my throat. “Oh.” My legs turned to jelly and I put out a hand to steady myself.
“Ana.” Jackson’s voice was so thick with emotion that I turned away from him. I couldn’t do this—I didn’t want to do this.
“Please, wait," he called, a desperate tone to his voice.
My feet started carrying me away from him. I wasn’t sending those signals; I couldn’t think. It was a survival mechanism. Fight or flight. I was done fighting—done the moment he chose them. Now I just had to survive.
“What the hell?”
Jackson’s arms clasped around me and he all but dragged me into the alley separating the student center and Carver Hall. It was dark, almost pitch black, with only the dim light of the main sidewalk seeping through into the narrow passageway. He released me and stepped back, putting some space between us. "Sorry. I shouldn't have done that." The pain was evident on his face, and I wanted to go to him, to wrap my arms around him and comfort him.
But that wasn't my right anymore. I had to remind myself that he chose them.
We stood silent, the tension sizzling around us. Neither of us sure what to say.
Jackson eventually broke the suffocating atmosphere. "How are you?"
A strangled choke rose up in my throat and came out like a small cry.
"Stupid question, sorry." Jackson started pacing in front of me. He was worked up, that much I could tell. His eyes darted from me to the ground and back again. He was fighting with something. Something inside of him.
And then he was on me. He closed the space between us until it was impossible to see where he ended and I began. My back hit the wall, but I sank into him. I could have climbed into him and it still wouldn't have been close enough. Feeling him surround me, I felt safe again. I felt whole, and everything started to melt away until there was nothing left—only Jackson and me.
His hands swept up my waist, so lightly as if he was scared to touch me. And then his fingers palmed my cheek and my skin came alive under his touch. My eyes were clamped shut, savoring the feel of him.
"Ana, look at me," he commanded, but I shook my head. "Ana." His forehead pressed against mine, holding me in place as he softly whispered, "Look at me."
I inhaled a deep breath and slowly opened my eyes. Jackson was staring at me intently, his emerald eyes full of regret. Without thinking, my hand reached up to touch him, to try to make it better, but I snatched it back once I realized what I was doing.
"God, I've missed you. So much." His lips were so close to my face. I could feel his warm breath, and my eyes fluttered shut again. The emotions storming through me were confusing and a little destabilizing. Jackson was here, and he was touching me. It was all I had wanted since he walked away, but it didn't change anything. There was a reason for this and my conscience was screaming to get the hell out of there before he broke what few defenses I had managed to build up over the summer. I could feel it building inside me. The panic, the itch spreading through my veins that needed a release.
But then Jackson's lips were brushing mine and everything stopped. Time, the jumbled thoughts crowding my mind, even my heartbeat. There was only Jackson now and a kiss that would ruin
me forever.
“Fuck,” he hissed against my mouth. “I’ve missed you. Missed this so damn much it hurts.” His arms wound around me, holding me tight, like he never wanted to let go.
Our lips moved against the others, slow and desperate, igniting a fire deep inside me. My hands found their way to his jacket and gripped tightly, yanking him closer. I needed to be closer. Jackson responded by pressing me further into the wall, our chests heaving between us.
A loud chorus of laughter yanked me back to reality and my hands stilled on his chest, pushing him back slightly. “Wait…" I fought to catch my breath. "Wait.”
Jackson groaned against my lips, refusing to let me up for air, but I pushed harder and he stopped, tearing his lips from me. He stepped back and raked a hand through his hair, and I took a moment to look at him. I had missed it before, but he was dressed up. He looked different, somehow less serious. Handsome.
“Where have you been?” The words tumbled out, and I winced realizing how ridiculous they sounded given our circumstances.
The lips that had been kissing me into oblivion only seconds earlier broke into a smile. “That’s what you want to know?” His smile deepened as he shook his head, laughter in his eyes. “Of course, it is.”
I drew my arms up around my waist in an attempt to comfort myself, or hold myself together, I wasn’t sure. I felt like I could crumple at any second. Jackson had stolen any rational thought from me. The group of students passed the entry to the alley and we stood silent again, waiting.
After their voices had grown quiet, Jackson said, “You stayed… in Peterson’s class. I thought you’d transfer out when you realized I was there, too.” His voice sound so small, so unsure. It unnerved me. This wasn’t the cool and confident Jackson I knew.
“I stayed.” The words came out of my mouth but sounded alien, like they didn’t belong to me. I was going to transfer out; I had even made it to the administrator’s office. But the thought of not seeing Jackson at all seemed worse than seeing him and bearing the pain of the memories. So, I ripped up the transfer paperwork and returned to Peterson’s class every Monday and Wednesday. And so far I had survived. But after tonight, I wasn’t sure I would anymore.