by Faye Sonja
Joe shook his head and turned to leave. Clara called after him. “Are you going to finish the book without me?”
Joe turned to look at her. “I already have.”
Clara’s eyes went wide. She came down the steps. “You read the book without me?”
Joe shrugged. “You’d been avoiding me. What else was I to do?”
Clara narrowed her eyes. “Who’d you finish it with?”
Joe shook his head. “No, you don’t get to ignore me and then get mad if I read it with someone else.”
“Did you finish it with Grace, Tom’s sister? She loves the book.”
Joe narrowed his eyes. “I don’t have to explain myself to you, Clara.”
“Amy? Did you read it with Amy?”
Joe turned. “Good day, Clara.”
Clara took a few step towards him, but then stopped. She wouldn’t chase a man down the street. She wouldn’t chase any man; ever. If Joe wanted to move on, fine. He wanted a month? Well, how about two? Joe could have all the time he wanted. She wouldn’t let herself be controlled by a man again. The feelings she had for Joe were the exact ones she’d tried to avoid. Love was just a sickening thing. It sucked the life right out of its victim. Clara had loved her father and had been willing to do anything for him. It had taken her years to see that he’d never loved her back. There had been a night when she’d overheard him negotiating to rent her out to some man for a heavy price. Her father had also said he hadn’t cared what the other man did with her so long as he paid. That was the night Clara had left. She’d packed her bag, stolen his money, and had boarded a wagon that was scheduled to be heading west within the hour. There was no time to wait for a train. She had to be gone before her father noticed. When her cash had run low, she’d started to walk. She’d just made it to Kansas when she was about to have to start selling her clothes. That’s what she’d been getting ready to do when Joe had seen her walking all alone out on that deserted road.
Joe had just been travelling to pick up purchases for his store when he spotted her. She’d looked through the wavy black strands of her long hair as they bellowed in the wind. She’d seen the face of a man and had drawn her weapon. She’d held Joe at gunpoint all the way to Haines. During the ride, he’d been nothing but friendly. Joe had talked the entire ride; telling Clara about his life, his sister, his hopes and dreams. He’d tried to get to know her, but Clara hadn’t given him anything, so he let it go; deciding to fill the air with the sounds of his own voice. Clara had thought Joe to be crazy. What kind of guy picks up a girl he doesn’t know? What kind of guy gives a girl a ride for nothing? No man.
That’s what Clara had believed. She’d expected Joe to ask her for something once he’d stopped the car in Haines, but he hadn’t. Instead, Joe had given her over to Eve; telling Eve that Clara had nowhere else to go and Eve probably had the room in her mini mansion. Eve had been skeptical about letting Clara in, but she’d also been in desperate need of a friend. Joe hadn’t asked Clara for a thing and then had waited a whole year to ask her out on a date. Clara had said no, but their friendship had grown after that. Clara loved Joe, she really did, but she couldn’t be with him. She couldn’t be with anyone. She was damaged goods and Joe deserved someone who was whole; a woman who didn’t have as many holes in her spirit as Clara did. If Clara allowed herself to be with Joe, then there was the chance that Clara would lose herself to a man once again. She didn’t have anything to give Joe. So, it was best if she didn’t let herself get too attached.
* * *
8
Chapter EIGHT
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
“ Joe wasn’t waiting for a good woman. He
wasn’t waiting for anyone, but Clara Cain. ”
It was five weeks later in church that Joe saw Clara. She was sitting with Florence, close to the front. It had been a little over thirty days since he’d told Clara that he needed space, but just seeing the back of her head put an ache in his heart. He missed her terribly. Yes, he loved her in the way that a man should love a woman, but he also loved her as a friend. Clara was funny and was also so very dramatic. She brightened his rather dull existence. He hadn’t even known what life could be like until he’d met her.
Joe had gone to a church outside of the city for a while, but had resumed attendance at his own church last week. Pastor West had decided to preach on forgiveness today. Last week it had been on ‘waiting on the Lord’, with a heavy emphasis on marriage. Joe didn’t have to guess what had inspired these topics; neither did anyone else in the church. The story of Tom and Joe’s fight had spread faster than the lavender wildflowers that populated Haines, and sadly, the reasons surrounding the fight had also spread. Everyone now knew of Joe’s love for Clara, and Tom wanting to marry Lily. It was Haines’ current topic for discussion and three weeks later, the pity for Joe’s broken heart was still rolling in. The fight and everything leading up to it were just plain ole run of the mill gossip. Joe looked to his left and smiled. His sister, Lily, was by his side. She looked pretty in her white dress. It would start to snow soon, so perhaps she was getting her final wear out of it for the season. Her hands wore a white pair of gloves as well that seemed to flow well with her dress. Joe’s smile fell when he realized that her fingers were laced with Tom’s. Joe lifted his eyes to look over the top of Lily’s head at the other man. Tom met his eyes with a ready smile. Joe shook his head. The man just didn’t know when to quit.
The sermon ended and both Tom and Joe reached for Lily’s coat. Joe gave Tom a hard look and Tom backed away. Joe helped his sister into her coat with a smile on his face. Lily was smiling as well. “Wasn’t that a wonderful sermon?”
Joe smiled. “Yup.”
“Tom and I are going to eat at the dining hall. I’ll see you at home.” She kissed his cheek and then turned to take Tom’s arm. Joe looked at Tom, who was still wearing a smile. “This is alright with you, right Joe?”
Joe narrowed his eyes, but nodded. At least he’d asked. Tom nodded too and then started to steer Lily out of the pew.
“Joe.”
Joe turned to find Amy. She looked so beautiful today. She wore a red dress and diamonds glittered her neck. A matching red coat hung over her hands. Amy’s father was one of the wealthiest men in town. Her light brown hair flowed around her face, down her shoulders, and stopped mid-arm. Her dark brown eyes glittered as she smiled up at him. “Thank you for helping us out the other day. Jimmy is better and should be good come time for the show.”
“Can I help you put on your coat?” he asked.
Amy’s eyes widened. “Yes, please.” She handed over her coat and then turned around for him. Joe helped her slip her arms into each sleeve and then brought the heavy material over her shoulders. Amy flipped her hair out of the coat. The smell of vanilla hit Joe hard. She turned around and smiled at him. “Thank you, Joe.”
Joe smiled. “You’re welcome.”
Amy looked down before looking back up at him. “I thought Clara normally sat with you.”
Joe’s expression stayed pleasant. “She does.”
Amy tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “She’s a fool for not loving you back.”
Joe chuckled to himself. Amy wasn’t the first person who’d told him so. More people than usual had started coming by his shop; giving their condolences, as if Joe were dead. He never knew exactly how to reply to statements like the one that Amy had just given, so Joe stuck with the one that he’d been giving everyone else. “Thanks.”
Eve called his name. Joe turned around. The silent thanks for the rescue must have shown plain on his face, because she laughed. She motioned him over before she began to speak again. “We’re having dinner at my house if you want to come. I know you and Clara are…” Eve looked down and then back up. “You’re always invited. I just wanted you to know that.”
Joe nodded with a smile. “Thanks, Eve.”
>
Eve leaned up and kissed him on the cheek before squeezing his hand. She’d really taken to being in love. Joe looked around the room and saw Robert and Benjamin engaged in a discussion at the entrance of the church. Robert had the baby in one hand and Eve’s boys were standing at his side. Robert looked right at home with all the children around him. He turned to Eve. “Let me escort you out.”
Eve smiled and took his arm. “You’re such a gentleman, Joe. I don’t know what Clara…”
“Please,” Joe cut her off as they started down one of the side aisles of the church.
Eve sighed. “Sorry. I still want you to eat with us. Florence and Ben will be there, so it won’t be terribly awkward.”
Joe decided to be half honest with Eve. “I don’t know if Clara would want me to be there.”
“I told her I was inviting you before I asked you. She said it was fine either way.”
Joe looked down at the small woman with the fierce hazel eyes. “She did.”
Eve nodded. She then leaned closer to Joe; making sure no one else heard her next words. “Clara misses you, Joe.”
Joe fought to keep his face from showing any emotion. “She told you that?”
Eve tilted. “Well, not aloud, but a woman can tell.”
Joe smiled. “Are you sure you’re not letting love cloud your judgement?”
Eve sighed. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I just see what I want to see. But Joe, you and Clara have been friends too long for it to end so poorly.”
“We’re still friends.”
“Prove it.”
“I don’t know.”
They were at the group of men by the door now. Robert stopped him; smiling. “Joe, you’re coming over, right?”
Joe scratched the back of his head. “Uh—”
“Of course you’re coming.” Clara came up and placed a hand on his arm. Joe’s heart stopped. Clara looked up at him; her dark irises that never seemed capable of picking a color were soft with her smile. “Without you there, the dinner wouldn’t have an even number. Don’t make me the odd one out.”
Joe sighed and for the first time, thought about telling a friend ‘no’. “Sure,” he heard himself saying. Saying ‘yes’ was what he was used to; adding Clara to the mix only made it worse.
“Wonderful.” Eve clapped her hands together. She turned to Robert. “Hurry, let’s get to the house.”
Before Joe can change his mind; Joe suspected were her unspoken words. He wanted to change his mind, he really did. He just wasn’t ready to engage in conversation with Clara. He didn’t know if his heart could stand it, but he would try, because he missed her. He missed her too much.
* * *
9
Chapter NINE
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
“ Joe wasn’t waiting for a good woman. He
wasn’t waiting for anyone, but Clara Cain. ”
Clara glanced across the table, and still, Joe had yet to look in her direction even once. He hadn’t said anything to her either. She sighed. She’d done this to herself. To her right sat Florence, who was busy moving the food on her plate around. Benjamin sat across from her; a man she had yet to look at. Florence’s boyfriend, Eddie, didn’t do church, and even if he had, Clara wasn’t sure that Eve would have invited the man. Eve had gotten soft over the last year; all full of hope and good charity, but she hadn’t gotten soft enough to want to be around the likes of that man. Eddie had the worst qualities. No, he wasn’t as bad as Clara’s father. Eddie didn’t beat Florence; not that Clara knew of anyhow, but Eddie was a controlling and unemployed leech.
“I’m excited about the play next month! It has high reviews,” Eve said to the room at large. She sat on one end of the table closest to Clara. Her doting husband, Robert, sat on the other end. “Do you think they’ll ever turn it into a film?”
Robert smiled; his dark blue eyes only for his wife. “I have yet to see why everyone is excited about film. There’s no sound. Plays are much better.”
Clara chimed in. “I agree. We went to the Nickelodeon in Kansas City once—” Clara stopped talking, remembering that her first visit to the Nickelodeon, or rather, movie theatre, had been with Joe. Tom and Grace had gone with them, but it was the thought of Joe that stopped Clara from finishing her story. The movie had taken place eight years ago in 1915. America had finally produced their own film called A Birth of a Nation. The silent film was a very controversial piece that had struck up lively discussions between the four, for months thereafter. It was actually the beginning of a deep friendship for Clara and Joe. She’d never talked so openly about her thoughts before that day.
Joe cleared his throat. “We went to see A Birth of a Nation,” he finished; he was staring at her now.
Clara rubbed her arm. “It was an alright film, but Robert’s right. Plays are much better. They have life and color.”
Eve shrugged. “To each their own, but I’m quite excited about what the men in Hollywood are doing. You just wait, in a few years, film is going be just as good as any play.”
Florence shook her head. “We’ll see. But it would be nice to have more female directors.”
Clara smiled. “Hear! Hear!”
Robert, Benjamin, and Joe shared a look. Eve narrowed her eyes. “What’s that look all about?”
The men all spoke at once.
“Oh, nothing—” Robert began.
Joe mumbled under his breath.
“I think there’s enough love books to entertain the female population,” Benjamin eventually got out. “Could you imagine a woman making a film with death and gore?” He laughed. “Likely not.”
Florence’s eyes went wide. “I do most of the covers for the crime books at Haines Press.” She put her fork down with a loud thump. “There is blood and gore sometimes, Mr. Manning.”
Benjamin moved a hand through his red hair; his blue eyes twinkling in Florence’s direction. “Yes, but death in motion.” He waved her off. “I don’t see a woman pulling that off. Which means, we men would simply be stuck looking at films on love and other nonsense.”
“You don’t believe in love?” Florence asked.
Benjamin shrugged. “It’s an unnecessary distraction.”
Florence’s lavender eyes grew wider. “You can’t mean that! Look at your brother.” She pointed to Robert. “He’s happily married and successful.”
“Yes, but love has made him soft.” He turned to Robert. “No offense, brother.”
Robert smiled at Eve. “None taken.” He threw a wink at Eve.
Eve hid herself behind a curtain of brown hair and hands. “Oh, Robert.”
Joe sighed. “I agree with Benjamin. I’d rather not watch a bunch of girly films.”
Clara narrowed her eyes. “But you do know that a woman can make art without love in it, right?” She narrowed her eyes further, trying to reference his mind to C.C. Reed without actually saying the author’s name; her name. Benjamin was the only person at the table who didn’t know that C.C. Reed was a woman. “I mean, a woman can write a mystery book, right? Why not a film?”
Joe shook his head. “Maybe a woman can write a mystery book with the assistance of her husband.”
Clara’s eyes went wide. “What?” Her eyes darted around the room. She sighed and looked at Benjamin. “C.C. Reed is a woman.”
Benjamin’s blue eyes showed too much white around them. “No.”
Clara nodded.
Joe thumped the table. “Clara! That wasn’t your secret to tell! I told you that C.C. Reed told me not to tell anyone!”
Clara touched her fingers through her short black waves. “Eve and Florence already knew, and if Eve knew, I know Robert did. So, Benjamin was the only person who had just found out.”
Joe looked around the table. “Is that true?”
Florence glanced around. “I do draw her book covers.”
“And I’m her publ
isher,” Eve said. She looked at Robert then and smiled. “We’re her publishers.”
Robert nodded. He then turn to his brother who still held a look of astonishment. “Ben, are you alright, man?”
Ben blinked a few times. “Uh. Wow.”
Florence gave a smile that had nothing to do with humor and everything to do with I-told-you-so. “I think you mean: Pow.” She brought two fingers up in the style of a fake gun and pretended to take a shot at Ben. The ‘pow’ and the fake gun gesture were Jack Adams’ signature finish move.
Joe shook his head. “Alright, so she’s a young woman—”
Ben’s head spun. “Young?”
Joe nodded. “Yeah, so that means she’s got to be married.”
Clara threw her napkin down on the table. “That’s ridiculous. Why is she married?”
Joe shrugged. “I mean, where else would she get her ideas from? They have to be coming from a man. I betcha she’s married to a detective.”
Clara shook her head. She sighed. “I bet you she’s not.”
Joe narrowed his eyes. “Fine. I’ll write to her.”
Clara crossed her arm. “Go right ahead.”
Eve threw her hands down on the counter. “I know! If she’s single, Joe, you should invite her to the play next month.”
Clara placed a hand over one of Eve’s. “No, he shouldn’t,” she hissed.
Florence grabbed Clara’s shoulder and looked around to Eve. She laughed. “Eve, that is the best idea you’ve ever had.”
Clara spun around to Florence. “No, he can’t invite her to the play.”
“Why can’t I?” Joe asked. His green eyes looking straight at her.
Clara swallowed. She leaned back in her chair and away from everyone else. “Because, she’s probably a very busy woman. She wouldn’t have time for plays and the like.”
Ben leaned forward in Clara’s direction. “Actually, I think it’s a splendid idea.” He smiled. “I’d love to meet the woman myself.”