by Cheree Alsop
“Victus!” Koya screamed.
I looked up to see her fighting off two more of the rancid creatures. Her swordsmanship was swift, no doubt from hours of learning at Joven’s side, but the Viel were too strong and their reach too far. They pressed her back. She stumbled on a root and fell. A yelp of pain tore from me as the Viel beneath me grabbed my broken paw in one clawed hand. It twisted and dark spots danced in my vision. I rolled to the side, my paw held tight against my chest, and the Viel jumped on top of me.
I looked over, sure I was going to see Koya torn to shreds by the Viel; but to my surprise and relief, Shadow Runner and Traveler drove the Viel backwards. Both wolves snarled in rage with Koya at their backs, protected by the fury of the pack. Other wolves darted through the fighting masses. Silver Leaf and Cricket protected two soldiers while three wolves I didn’t know took down the Viel who faced them. Dozens of lithe gray, brown, and black bodies ran between Joven’s men and took down the Viel in calculated attacks proven time and again against elk and mountain lions.
I snarled at the Viel above me. It held me down with one set of claws while its gapping maw reached for my throat. I bit at its jaw. It jerked back in surprise, then slashed at my face with its claws hard enough to send my senses spinning. Blood leaked through the fur along my cheek and forehead. I blinked against the liquid that dripped in my eyes and fought against the creature’s hold, but it was too strong; its full weight rested on the claws that sunk into my skin. The breath was forced from my body. I struggled, but couldn’t draw in fresh air. The creature watched as if it relished the agony of my nearing death.
Just as my eyes began to close, a sword sliced through the creature’s arm. It fell on top of me, then turned in time to have its head cut off by the same sword. I squinted and saw Koya standing there with a wolf on each side. I crawled out from under the Viel’s body with her help. Relief that she was alive chased away any pain. She threw her arms around me. “Oh, Victus,” she said. She buried her face in the fur of my neck. I wanted to stay in her embrace, but there was no time.
I backed up and she let me go. I wanted to tell her to stay where she was safe. I couldn’t leave her and help the others with the thought of her following me into danger. I put my head against her and pushed her gently back. She ran her fingers through my fur and nodded. “I’ll stay,” she said. “I shouldn’t have come. I was so worried. . . .” Her voice tightened. She swallowed and stepped back, then lifted her sword and gave me a grim, brave smile. “I’ll be safe.”
I walked away. They were the hardest steps I had ever taken, but I had no choice. Others needed the wolves and the girl I loved was safe. Determination filled me. I let out a howl as I paced through the carnage. I tried not to notice the soldiers who lay still or the moans that escaped those with mortal wounds. Wolves fell in silently on either side of me. Courage and strength washed from them in waves.
As a group, we fell on the Viel who fed on the fallen, fighting those that attacked Joven’s men, freeing soldiers who fought for their lives. We became a pack of death.
We tore through the battlefield taking down every Viel in our path. I ran intent on Joven’s cedar scent and Rasmus’ wind and steel trail. The General’s steps were tinged with blood. Each Viel we took down brought us closer. My heart sped with every step.
I found Joven through the chaos. A mass of Viel surrounded the young Lord. He fought bravely, fallen soldiers on each side. Only three stood near him, their efforts tinged with exhaustion. A Viel knocked one soldier down and advanced on Joven. He backed up, but refused to go any further. Four other Viel stood between Joven and my pack.
I gritted my teeth and leaped. My paws hit the back of the first Viel and I pushed off, jumping over him and grazing the shoulder of the next one to break my fall. I rolled when I hit the ground, taking most of the force off my broken paw. I darted between the reaching claws of another Viel and spun when I reached Joven’s side. His hand brushed my shoulder as if reassuring himself that I was real.
“You chose a bad time to come to my rescue,” he said, his words tight.
I gave a bark of command and the wolves attacked, jumping at the Viel in a wave. I bit the claws of the Viel closest to us and when it jerked back out of reach, I dove at the creature’s chest, barreling it to the ground. Joven chopped off its head with one swing of his sword. The other wolves had the rest of the Viel down by the time we were done.
A look of relief swept across the Lord’s face, followed swiftly by sorrow. “Rasmus,” he said in a broken voice. He dropped to his knees and I realized that the body he had refused to leave was the General’s. Blood colored the ground from a wound in Rasmus’ side. The scent that came from it was thick with the finality of fading life. Joven checked for a heartbeat, but the effort was in vain. I blinked back tears and reminded myself that wolves don’t cry. The General’s face had been turned toward his men, his last view that of his soldiers and his Lord fighting valiantly as he had trained them.
Joven closed the General’s eyes with a gentle sweep of his hands. He rose and glared at the fallen Viel around us. “Let’s save the rest of Rala from this plague,” he said. Hatred and anger twisted his words, and the rage in his eyes burned in my heart.
The few soldiers who remained fell in around us. I led the wolves in front of Joven’s troop, determined to save as many Ralans as we could. When we reached the mass of Viel held off by weary soldiers around the circle of carriages, my pack hit them with the force of an avalanche. The Viel fell back, surprised by our fury and the battle rage that filled us. They attempted to surround us, but Joven’s men picked off the few who tried to attack our backs.
The battle was swift and furious. I took down every Viel I could reach, then left them for the soldiers to finish. The wolves moved in a wave of death, three or four attacking at a time so that the Viel had no chance to defend themselves. Shadow Runner ran at my side, a constant blur of movement as we pulled down one creature after another.
There were moments that flowed into memories of hunting stags and moose beside him. He taught me how to bring them down, how to slice hamstrings and open bellies, then dance away without a scrape. The tactics served us well as we dodged claws and teeth to defend the citizens of Rala. The wolves around us fought with a ferocity I had only seen when they defended their territory. They apparently agreed that Viel moving into the valley wasn’t a good thing.
It didn’t take long for the creatures to realize they were outmatched. We pressed them back to the forest and those who survived vanished beneath the trees. I heard the cheers of the Ralans we had rescued, but refused to look back until every trace of Viel was gone from the valley.
Shadow Runner led the wolves into the forest after them. My pack and the dozens of wolves who came from the surrounding mountains followed him soundlessly into the trees. I knew they wouldn’t stop until the Viel were far from the furthest reaches of their territories.
It felt strange to me that I had no urge to follow them. Whispers of early morning hunts and dewy meadows trailed in their wake, but even though I was in my wolf form, I was able to turn away without regret. As I limped back toward Joven and the soldiers, the truth of my feelings surfaced. As long as Koya was in the valley, my place was at her side.
A nagging voice at the back of my mind asked if she was safe. Viel could have reached her when I left to defend Joven. I shouldn’t have left her alone. She might be hurt or worse. I pushed myself into a run by the time I reached Joven’s group. Soldiers turned at my approach. I ran through them without care, following the one scent in the entire world that mattered.
Everything else fell away at the sight of Koya kneeling next to Lord Brayton. She bound a gash down his arm even as he protested the need. Joven directed soldiers a few paces behind her, battle-weary but alive. Seeing them safe released the tight grip around my heart. I breathed a sigh of relief and Koya looked up. Her gaze met mine. A million emotions flooded her eyes. I wanted to hold her and tell her everything was alri
ght. I wanted to chase the fear from her eyes and tell her she was safe and that the Viel were far away.
A ringing sound started in my ears. She said something, but I couldn’t hear her. I took another breath, willing my control to hold despite the pain. A shudder ran through my skin. I gritted my teeth, trying to fight the change, but my body was too weak from the loss of blood and exhaustion of fighting. I didn’t want Koya to see me that way.
I limped back through the soldiers. The only thought that made it through the cloud of pain and weariness was to find some kind of shelter to protect myself when I changed. I had a hazy memory of animals who left the pack to die alone. I pushed the thought away and crawled beneath an overturned wagon. The scent of bodies, blood, and Viel lessened. I curled up in a corner and give up fighting the inevitable.
***
I awoke to the touch of a hand on my cheek. For a moment my mind rushed to the circus, the Cruel One, and the cage. My body ached, my breathing rushed raggedly through my throat, and I felt like I had been whipped to within an inch of my life; but the scent was wrong. In the place of stale urine, boredom, and the cruelty of the Cruel One’s ways lay fear, a bitter sour stench that turned my stomach, and a faint but overlying note of triumph. A sharp pain ran through my wrist and a gasp escaped my lips. The hand caressed my cheek again and sent a tingle through my skin. No one touched me, no one dared.
I willed my heart to slow and my mind to focus. I saw an open cage door and starlight upon a garden. I remembered carpeted floors, a warm fire, and pulling on clothes that smelled of cedar. A tendril of smoke teased my nose and I saw the kitchens and Cook Tamus’ disapproving frown. I heard a thunder of hoof beats and felt the sunshine on my human form. Within it all, I saw a swirl of golden hair and bright blue searching eyes, the kind of gaze I could lose myself in forever.
I opened my eyes to see Koya’s worried face above me. My head was pillowed in her lap. Her nearness brought some clarity to my thoughts.
“I’m so glad you’re awake,” she said softly.
I leaned against her, clearing my senses with her smell and touch. Her breath stirred my hair and my disjointed senses drifted back to the wind in the evergreens and evening grasses. I blinked and forced my thoughts to focus. The wagon was gone; the moonlight had faded to a hazy gray dawn. Someone had draped a blanket over me to hide my nakedness as well as bound my wounds. My wrist throbbed with maddening regularity. Joven, Lord Brayton, several soldiers, and others who had survived the Viel attack surrounded us. I pushed up slowly.
“You should hold still,” Koya said gently.
Joven put a hand on my shoulder. “Take it slow, Victus. You deserve to rest.”
Lord Brayton grinned down at me. I met his easy smile with a questioning look. His grin widened. “The Dukes and Duchesses of Rala asked for a show of strength to solidify Lord and Lady Vielslayer’s claim to the throne. I think you’ve given them that.”
I rose with the blanket clutched around my waist. When I stumbled on weak knees, Joven caught me and helped me stand. “You never were one to listen to reason.”
“You never said anything reasonable,” I replied. My heart ached at the thought of how Rasmus would have reacted to the banter.
Joven’s smile faltered as if he thought the same thing. Koya followed anxiously at my side as her brother helped me to the edge of a wagon. I sat with my head in my hands for a moment to wait for the world to stop spinning. When it did, I looked up at Koya, then Joven. “So Vielkeep is safe?”
He put a hand on my shoulder again, a brotherly gesture that meant more than any words. “You led your wolves into battle against the Viel and saved most of the royalty of Rala. You’ve solidified Vielkeep’s hold for years to come.”
I glanced at Lord Brayton, then at the Dukes and Duchesses behind him. Lord Fallow and Lady Stry, the rotund couple from Sunhold, nodded and gave me hesitant smiles. Duke Tavion, Brayton’s father, frowned but nodded. Several others bowed their heads in agreement as well. There were uncertain looks exchanged, fear and doubt in the eyes of a few, but they mattered little. All I cared about was that the Viel were gone and Vielkeep was safe. Koya was safe.
“We owe you our lives,” Joven said. He then surprised me by dropping down on one knee, bowing to me where I sat on the edge of the wagon. Koya squeezed my hand, then lowered next to her brother. The soldiers around them followed, and so, somewhat reluctantly, did the surviving royalty. Soon, all of the survivors in the battle-torn valley knelt below me, some bandaged, some bitter, but most with humbly lowered heads and grateful smiles.
A lump formed in my throat. “I don’t deserve this,” I said quietly.
Joven rose and smiled wider. “You do, brother. You deserve this honor, our respect, and so much more. Name what you’d like and it shall be given to you.” His blue eyes, a shade darker than Koya’s, danced.
I couldn’t think of anything I wanted, then I glanced down into sky blue eyes that held mine as if they would surround me forever. Her smile deepened with love and understanding, and her face shone as though she guessed my thoughts. She slipped her hand into mine. “I want Koya,” I whispered, staring into her gaze.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Joven grow stiller than any wolf. His eyes were locked on my face, his forehead creased and lips pressed into a tight line. “What did you say?” he asked in a tone I would have recognized as dangerous if I had been paying more attention to him and less to the woman I loved.
I spoke louder this time so everyone around us could hear, “I ask for Lady Koya Vielslayer’s hand in marriage.”
I looked back at Joven expecting to see him smile and nod, but what I saw in his eyes chased any joviality from my heart. He studied me quietly for a moment, his gaze as hard as steel. “I owe you my gratitude,” he said in a voice devoid of emotion. “We all do. But though I call you brother, you are not one of us.”
His words cut through me like a knife. I felt each one with more pain than my crushed wrist or the lacerations along my body. I heard the bare meaning to every word when he concluded, “You are an animal. I cannot allow someone with animal blood to marry my sister. I’m sorry, Victus.”
There was a faint hint of real sorrow in his end words, but I didn’t hear it. I heard only what was forbidden. Despite all I had been through and all I had given to the royal siblings and their kingdom, I was not one of them.
“Joven, no,” Koya said with heartache in her voice.
A voice in the back of my mind whispered that he was right. I didn’t know what I was and had no right to ask Koya to spend her life with that uncertainty. She was whispering to Joven urgently, but I had no desire to hear what was said. I pushed off from the wagon. Joven’s hand shot out when my knees threatened to give way once more, but he stopped himself with his fingers inches from me. I blinked, then nodded.
I held the blanket closer around me and took a few steps away. I paused and turned. Koya practically flew into my arms. Her embrace was warm and safe. “Don’t leave,” she begged.
The despair in her voice burned me to the core. Her eyes were filled with tears, her heart as broken as mine. “I love you,” I whispered into her hair.
“I love you, too,” she replied in a sob.
I let her go and changed. I didn’t care if they saw or judged me. I became the wolf, the animal who wasn’t good enough even though I had given them everything. I had slept beside them, fought with them, and bled in their name. Though they called me brother, I wasn’t anything more than an animal. I gritted my teeth and paced slowly from the quiet group.
“Miduan will always be open to you, Victus,” Lord Brayton called.
I bowed my head and walked into the forest. My pack met me there as if they had been expecting me. I fell in behind Shadow Runner and Silver Leaf and pretended for one night that I was just a wolf.
Chapter 17
I couldn’t bring myself to leave Vielkeep. I paced through the forest invisible to the throng as they made their way slowly back to the
castle. Runners went ahead to gather the remaining horses, but for the most part the survivors of the Viel attack walked. I tried to keep sight of Koya, but my paw ached with every step. I fell behind and though the wolves stayed beside me, I felt more alone than I ever had before.
I followed the pack to the makeshift den they had widened from a badger hole not far behind the castle wall. The younger wolves scampered about, but I could find no joy as I watched them. Koya was my whole world, and she was lost to me. I was a wolf without a mate, a body without a soul. My heart ached even more sharply than my wounds. When Silver Leaf brought me food, I ate but didn’t taste anything.
The moon called for me to change back to human form, but I ignored it. Instead, rage filled me. I turned the drive to change into something dark, angry. I left the pack and ran through the forest possessed. I tore through branches and under shrubs, around saplings and across meadows oblivious of their beauty. I refused to change because I wasn’t human. I wouldn’t wear the guise of something I could never be.
My paw burned angry and throbbing, but I couldn’t stop running. Blood caked patches of my skin where the Viel had ripped my flesh. My ribs ached where they had cracked, and my body protested every step. The pain edged my thoughts in red until I ran by pure instinct and adrenaline.
I ran from the human form that fought to take my control. I ran from the castle, from Koya, from all the things I wanted but would never have within my grasp again. I ran from the thought of being human, from clothes and dining on fine dishware, from carpeted floors and walks in the garden. Most of all, I ran because to stop would be to acknowledge the hole in my heart that only Koya filled, the hole through which my soul poured, leaving me with only a shell.
I leaped a creek and startled a bear, the first animal I had seen on my mad rush. Animals had chosen wisely to avoid my headlong craze; even the midnight bugs kept their songs to the moon hushed as though they guessed my dark thoughts.