I move to get out of the bed, grabbing my holster and gun laying by my side of the bed as I do.
“Josh,” she sounds alarmed and I glance at her as I walk over to the other side of the bed for my clothes. She looks at me sadly. “What are you doing?”
“Getting dressed,” I mutter. “I should go,” I say as I pick up my jeans from the floor.
“Josh, please don’t go,” she wails.
“It’s getting late,” I say through clenched teeth, still feeling the rage as I pull on my briefs. “We both have to work tomorrow.”
“Josh, please,” she says, getting out of the bed and stepping toward me. She wraps her arms around my waist and looks up at me imploringly. “I don’t want you to go. Please stay with me,” she begs. I frown at her, blinking at her words because they spark an unwelcome memory. My mom, begging that son of a bitch not to leave after he had just knocked her around for not making his sandwich the way he liked it. I feel sick. I have to get out of here. Prying her arms from around my waist, I back away from her and start to pull on my jeans.
“Josh, please don’t go,” she says again. Stepping toward me once more, she reaches up and takes my face in both her hands, standing on tip toe to kiss me. She presses her lips to mine tentatively, almost as if she’s afraid. Then she looks into my eyes for a second and kisses me again. Harder this time, and I feel her tongue softly at my lips, asking for entry. I close my eyes and feel my arms fold around her as I kiss her back, my tongue stroking hers slowly.
And as I lose myself in her kiss I slowly feel the anger and the rage begin to recede into the background. I kiss her deeply then, tightening one arm around her as my other hand finds its way into her hair, cradling her head and holding it in place as I kiss her like my life depends on it, because frankly, at this moment, it feels as though it does. The anger flees as I kiss her, as if it can’t exist near her innocent light and fire. I tighten my grip even more, kissing her desperately. I need her! And it is a revelation. I need this woman. She is light and life, and I need her so much right now.
“Samantha,” I whisper breathlessly, my lips grazing hers as I talk, “please let me make love to you.” She looks at me, panting. “Please, baby.” I kiss her lips again. “I need you.”
“Yes,” she whispers.
Quickly discarding my jeans and briefs again, I reach for her and she practically melts into me. I pick her up and move back over to the bed, laying her down gently. I climb onto the bed on top of her, my weight pressing her into the mattress, and I kiss her hungrily as my fingers work to undo the buttons on my shirt that she’s still wearing. I feel her hands in my hair and on my back and she moans softly in my mouth. I want to kiss every inch of her. Slowly, I move, letting my lips and my tongue travel leisurely over her silky soft skin. I kiss a trail from her chin down her neck and her chest. I take a detour at each breast, paying special attention to each nipple as I suckle and lightly bite at them, relishing the way she writhes beneath me and calls out in pleasure.
Continuing on my journey, I kiss a trail from her breasts down to her navel, lightly sucking on the flesh of her belly as I go. I let my tongue play around her navel for a moment before continuing down. I work my way slowly down one leg and back up the other, kissing and biting and sucking her thighs and her knees and her calves, ending with her toes. On my way back up, I linger at the apex of her thighs. Lying down between her legs, I settle in to pleasure her with my mouth and she’s already halfway there. Her hands fist in my hair and her hips move slightly with every gentle pass of my tongue over her sensitive flesh. “Oh, Joshua,” she moans as her body begins to tremble uncontrollably. I don’t stop until I feel her give in completely and she screams my name.
I look up at her and she is lost on a wave of pleasure, nearly incoherent. I smile to myself and lick her salty sweetness off my lips. My turn. I grab a condom from the bedside table and roll it on as she’s slowly surfacing from wherever it is she drifted off to in her ecstasy. I don’t give her time to fully recover. I can’t. I need to be inside her now. I push the head of my cock into her slick opening and feel her warm, moist flesh envelop me and pull me in as she wraps her legs around me. Oh, she feels so fucking good! She is so tight it’s maddening. My sweet virgin pussy. The thought drives me crazy and I let myself go, taking up a swift pounding rhythm, keeping time with the beat of the music that’s playing in the background on her iPod. Britney insisting she’s not a little girl anymore. Appropriate.
I can feel her building again, her legs stiffen around me and she starts to get vocal. Oh, yeah. I love it when she does that. “That’s right, Sam. Let me hear you, baby.” She gets louder, calling out as my pace quickens slightly. I feel myself about to burst but, I have to see to her first. I angle my hips and grind into her furiously. “Come on, Sam,” I say through gritted teeth, my mouth inches away from her ear. “Give it to me!” And she shatters on cue, her body convulsing beneath me and my name is on her lips. Fuck yes! I drill into her and my body goes rigid as I erupt inside of her, calling out her name.
When I surface, my face is nestled in the crook of her neck and she’s cradling me in her arms as we both struggle to breathe. I know I must be crushing her and I move to raise myself up but she tightens her hold on me. “Don’t move,” she whispers and I let myself relax again in her arms. I’m not sure how long we lay like this but, it feels like heaven.
“Josh, I’m sorry,” she whispers after a few moments, and I frown. What is she talking about? I raise up to look into her eyes and she continues. “You asked me earlier not to rush you,” she says softly. “If the fact that you want to try having a relationship with me could be enough for now.” She’s looking at me with those eyes and I can tell she’s apprehensive. Worried about my reaction. I lightly run my thumb across her cheek to reassure her. “I shouldn’t have pushed you before,” she says, her voice filled with sorrow.
I pull out of her and discard the condom, rolling over onto my back. “Samantha,” I begin with a sigh, but she cuts me off, putting her fingers to my lips to stop me from saying anything more.
“Don’t,” she whispers. “Josh, I like you. I like you a lot. And I want to know everything about you. I’m not going to deny that or apologize for it. But, I’m not going to pressure you about it anymore either. At least … I’m going to try not to,” she says softly.
I reach up and move her hair over her shoulder and caress her face. “I’m sorry too, Sam,” I tell her, looking up into her beautiful eyes. “I’m sure you’ve guessed by now that I have … issues with anger,” I say quietly, finding it difficult to hold her gaze. “And certain topics bring those issues to the surface for me. My old man is one of those topics.”
“And the whole relationship thing?” she asks uncertainly.
I nod my head. “That too. It’s all wrapped up together,” I tell her honestly. I swallow nervously and say, “But I will try harder to control that anger when I’m with you. I promise.” She looks at me for a long minute, studying my eyes, and I wonder if she’ll still want to see me or if this date will be all there is. Maybe I’ve completely fucked this whole thing up. She reaches around to the bedside table and turns off the light, then she snuggles in next to me, laying her head on my chest. My arms fold around her and she softly kisses my chest. I bury my nose in her hair and inhale deeply, tightening my hold on her and pulling her even closer to me. And I can’t stand the wondering. I have to know.
“Sam,” I begin quietly. Nervously. “Have I ruined tonight?” I ask with a frown. “Did I ruin … this? Whatever this is between us?” I’m almost afraid to hear her answer but it comes without hesitation. She raises up to look at me in the darkness and I feel her fingers run lightly over the stubble on my face.
“Maybe you missed the part where I said that I like you,” she whispers, “and that I want to learn all about you. You’re going to have to work a little harder to scare me away, Josh.”
I can hear a smile in her soft voice and a wave of relief washes
over me. But her words aren’t lost on me, and I know that she has no idea what she just said. “Be careful what you wish for, baby,” I say softly, threading my fingers through her hair as she lays her head on my chest again. I kiss the top of her head and we snuggle up together, holding each other tightly in the dark.
Chapter Thirteen
Samantha
I wake up in the most delicious embrace. My face is nestled in Josh’s chest and our bodies are entwined like a vine wrapped around a trellis. His chin is resting on the top of my head and I am tucked snugly in his arms as he holds me so close, we could be one body. This is heaven. It has to be. This man is too wonderful to be real. And as that thought floats enticingly through my mind, I can’t help but think about my father.
I know that they couldn’t be more different, but the only other time in my life that I remember feeling this safe and protected is when I was younger and with my dad. Daddy always made me feel safe and like all was right with the world. I knew that everything would always be okay because my Daddy could do anything. And even though I know that Josh and my dad have very little in common on the surface, somehow Josh makes me feel that everything is going to be okay. I know that we met because there is some creep out there terrorizing me, but unless we’re talking about my case, I don’t even think about it when Josh and I are together. He just has such a commanding presence about him, a sort of ‘take-charge’ attitude that makes me feel protected somehow. I know that he would never allow anything bad to happen to me. I’m completely safe with him.
I frown to myself at the realization. Even with all of his weirdness last night, not wanting to talk about his own dad, and the small frisson of fear I felt when he got so upset, I feel as though I can trust him with my life. And I know what he said about having issues with anger and I can certainly attest to that. Last night I watched him go from calm and happy to terrifyingly angry in two seconds flat … twice! And I’m still not really sure what set him off either time. But even though his anger frightened me, I still knew that I was safe with him. I knew that he wouldn’t physically hurt me. He said that his dad is sort of a hot-button issue for him, a topic that brings his anger issues to the surface. I wonder why? When he was talking about working at his dad’s garage, he sounded almost nostalgic. As if that time is something that he treasures and remembers fondly. Yet he spoke of his dad with such bitterness in his voice. Bitterness and something else. Regret maybe? I don’t know.
But he also said that his avoidance of romantic relationships was wrapped up in his feelings about his dad. That statement puzzled me last night and it still puzzles me. I don’t understand. And I want to ask him about it but I know that I can’t. I promised him that I wouldn’t pressure him for answers. He asked me last night if the fact that he wants to try having a real relationship with me could be enough for now and I said yes. It can be enough for now. I haven’t had many relationships myself but, I have had a few. I dated three boys during my college days, and although none of them were anything very serious, it’s still more experience than Josh has had. It’s ironic really. Josh may have much more experience sexually, but when it comes to actually dating and knowing what a relationship entails, I have the upper hand.
It’s strange to think about it that way. But for a man who has spent his life avoiding this very thing, I imagine that he must be feeling totally out of his depth here. He’s going to need a little wiggle room from me so that he can ease into this. He’s not used to explaining himself or his lifestyle to anyone. I’m going to have to try and remember that. I have to step back a little and let him move at a pace that’s comfortable for him if this is going to work. I know that’s not going to be easy for me but, I have to try. For him.
He is such an incredibly sweet, interesting, beautiful man and I want to get to know him more than anything. I was telling the truth when I told him that I find him fascinating. I have never been so into a guy in my life and I really want us to have the opportunity to see where this could go. I like him so much. And I love the way he makes me feel when I’m with him. The way he looks at me; he makes me feel beautiful. He makes me feel … sexy. He makes me feel alive. I feel good about myself when I’m with him.
I snuggle closer to him and lightly kiss his chest, breathing in deep the musky, wooded scent of him. He smells so unbelievably good, like some spicy cologne mixed with his own natural, yummy scent. Mmm. I kiss his chest again and he stirs, his eyes opening slowly, and he blinks and looks down at me. A smile plays at the corners of his perfectly sculptured lips.
“Good morning, Sunshine,” he whispers, and his bright blue eyes sparkle at me like jewels. Wow!
“Good morning, yourself,” I say softly, smiling back at him. He returns my smile and softly kisses my forehead. Then he stretches slowly, his body still wrapped around mine as his muscles tighten and relax around me. The feeling is sensual and decadent and it makes me smile more.
“Can I tell you something?” I ask nervously. I don’t want to spook him but, I want to tell him how I’m feeling right now.
“Sure,” he answers, a puzzled frown marring his handsome face.
I take a deep breath and say softly, “I really like waking up with you like this. It feels nice.” He blinks at my words and I wonder what he’s thinking. I watch nervously as a slow smile spreads across his face and he studies my eyes.
“Yes, it does,” he softly agrees. “I like it too. Very much,” he adds, kissing my forehead again. He raises up slightly to look over my shoulder.
“It’s still early,” I say quietly. “The alarm hasn’t gone off yet.”
“It is,” he says, looking back at me with a wicked, sexy grin. “But I wasn’t checking the time.”
“Oh?”
“Um mm,” he murmurs, still smiling. “I was making sure there was still at least one condom left.” His voice is low and sexy and the look in his eyes makes me blush and I can no longer hold his gaze. I bite my lower lip as I look away, embarrassed. But I feel his fingers beneath my chin, lifting my lips to his, and he kisses me tenderly. His insistent tongue rubs mine with slow, deliberate strokes and his right hand mirrors the movement of his tongue, roaming my body slowly while he holds me fast with the other arm.
Turning, he rolls me over onto my back and continues kissing me passionately as my eager hands find their way into his silky hair. He makes love to me slowly and sweetly, bringing me to climax again and again. By the time the alarm goes off half an hour later, my body is singing and convulsing and I am calling out his name in ecstasy, my legs wrapped tightly around him, and I’m clinging to him for dear life as he grinds furiously into me.
“Oh, Sam,” he yells as he comes deep inside me. He crumples on top of me, completely spent, and reaches over to turn off the screaming alarm. He looks at me, still panting, and smiles. Then he kisses me deeply. Oh, I love this feeling! This post-coital nirvana when he’s still buried deep inside me and I feel so full and so sexy. I wish we could stay right here just like this all day long but, I know that we both have to get up and get to work.
He rubs his nose lightly down the length of mine and back up; then he looks into my eyes for a long moment, saying nothing. Finally he blinks, as if suddenly waking from a dream or realizing where he is, and he looks away nervously. He slowly pulls out of me and removes his condom and sits up on the side of the bed. “Do you want to shower first?” he asks me, nervously running a hand through his hair.
I shake my head as I sit up, pulling the sheet over my breasts. “You have to be at work before I do,” I answer softly, wondering what spooked him. Why is he suddenly nervous and embarrassed? Did I do something? He bends over and gathers the discarded condoms from last night and, rising from the bed, he heads into the bathroom without another word. What was that about? My subconscious is as puzzled as I am. I run the last few moments through my head to try and figure out what I could have done. The sex was amazing, as always. And afterwards, he was so sweet, the way he smiled at me and kissed me and caressed
my face with his own. No. I don’t think I did anything to upset him. Whatever it was, it happened in his own mind. Some random thought that must have run through his head. Something about his dad perhaps? Or his avoidance of romantic relationships?
I sigh as I climb out of the bed and walk over to the dresser. I open a drawer and pull out a white silk nightgown and pull it on. Then I go about picking up Josh’s discarded clothes and lay them neatly across the bed. I reach to pick up his holster and I’m surprised at the weight of it. I wouldn’t expect a gun to be so heavy, but what do I know? I’ve never even held a gun before. The thought makes me more than a little uncomfortable and I set the holster on the bed as well, and pick up my clothes from the floor and take them over to the hamper. As I do, my mind is drawn back to Josh and his strange behavior. What was it that I told myself before he woke up? That I was going to keep in mind that this is all new to him and let this move along at a pace that’s comfortable for him?
I sigh again as I head out to the kitchen, knowing that this is not going to be as easy as I thought. I have so many questions that I want to ask him, so many things he’s told me just don’t make sense and I want answers. But you promised him that you wouldn’t push, my subconscious reminds me as I take the bacon and eggs out of the fridge and start breakfast. I have to try and remember that. The very last thing that I want is to mess this all up by not being patient enough with him. I like him so much and I really want the chance to see if we could have something. But I feel like I’m always saying or doing the wrong thing and he either clams up on me or gets scary angry. It’s frustrating. Especially since I never know exactly what it is that I do or say that’s wrong.
Pierced: Pierced Trilogy Boxed Set Page 20