Except that it does. From his point of view anyway. I know that, in Josh’s mind, he believes that he’s destined to follow the same path. All because he looks very much like his dad and he shares the same quick temper. But what he doesn’t seem to be taking into account is the fact that he and his father are two very different people with two very different life experiences. Yes, watching his father hurt and humiliate his mother helped shape Josh into the man that he is today. But so did his affection for the police officers who would come to his rescue back then, and the love and attention that Olivia showered him with as a little boy. And there’s no way of knowing what sort of influences Danny Pierce had in his early life that shaped him into the monster he became. There are so many variables that Josh isn’t even considering, and I know it’s because he’s simply too traumatized by it all. And I wonder if that’s why he was in therapy after his dad died.
I listen to him softly breathing as I try to put myself in his shoes. If I had experienced the kind of nightmare childhood that Josh did – watching the man who was supposed to love and protect me and my mother terrorize and beat her repeatedly – I suppose that I would be extremely leery of getting involved with a woman too. It all makes so much sense to me now. His reluctance to pursue anything more than random, one time, sexual encounters. The thought makes me sad. What an empty, lonely way to live. I can’t think of a more miserable existence and I suddenly want to cuddle him and hold him close. I snuggle closer to him as my head rests on his chest and my arm drapes protectively around his stomach. He responds in his sleep, tightening his arm around me and moaning softly. I smile in response and think about the other highlights from yesterday’s dinner.
He called me his girlfriend! He didn’t even hesitate, he introduced me to his uncle and his cousin that way: “This is Samantha, my girlfriend.” You could have knocked me over with a feather, I was so shocked. I think I floated on cloud nine for at least an hour afterwards. And Josh’s family is great; I really enjoyed meeting all of them. Paul Jr. and Pamela look like the perfect couple and he was so attentive to her all through dinner. I’m glad they finally got their much wanted bundle of joy. And Olivia is just lovely! I liked Josh’s mom right away. She’s smart and funny and she seems really kind. I wonder what she thinks of me though. All throughout dinner, I could see her watching me closely, and at times I would catch her watching me and Josh … our interactions, and I wonder what she was thinking. After we left, Josh said he could tell that she liked me a lot but, I don’t know. At least we got past the awkwardness of our first encounter. She seems to be extremely proud of Josh and the police career he’s made for himself; she couldn’t wait to show me those baby pictures of him.
A small pang of sorrow runs through me as I remember the photo of her and Josh. The one where she’s pregnant. Celeste said the baby had been beaten out of Olivia. And Josh said that he watched as his father kicked her in the stomach, over and over again! How could any man commit such an unspeakable act on his pregnant wife? He killed that baby that night. Murdered him or her. There’s no other way to describe it, and I wonder how he didn’t end up in prison for it? And what did that do to the poor little eight year old boy, forced to watch helplessly as his mother was being tortured? Oh, Josh! The thought is appalling and I have to force back the tears that are threatening to come. It’s no wonder that he doesn’t like to talk about his dad. I guess I understand that now, at least.
The fact that Josh has become such a wonderful man and a highly respected police officer is both remarkable and a true testament to his character. That he was able to rise above all the violence he was forced to witness as a child and use that pain as a force for good … it’s amazing. He truly is incredible! But I suspect that he doesn’t see it that way.
Slowly, so as not to wake him, I let my fingertips wander over his abs. He really is perfect. His muscles seem sculpted from a slab of white marble and I love the feel of him beneath my touch. My fingers disappear below the covers as they continue their slow journey down from his stomach. They’re quickly stopped in their tracks though, as they encounter an impressive erection resting to the right of his abdomen. Hmm? This presents interesting possibilities! I glance up at Josh’s beautiful face, still sleeping peacefully, and my subconscious sends me a wicked nudge. I couldn’t do that … could I? Well, of course you could, Sam. You did it once before! My subconscious eggs me on and I want to take her up on her dare.
Moving slowly, I creep down the bed and position myself between Josh’s legs. I can’t believe he hasn’t woken up. Careful not to touch him with my hands, I lower my face and tentatively let the tip of my tongue run softly up from the base of his penis, all the way up to the head. Gently, I kiss the tip of his erection and I am both startled and delighted when it twitches, lurching slightly forward, seemingly as if by magic. And I watch, fascinated, as it grows even larger than it already was. Wow. Glancing up at Josh, his eyes are still closed and his breathing is still steady and even, as if he’s sleeping. But I can see a slight smile at the corners of his sexy lips, and I’m not so sure if he’s still asleep or not. Maybe he’s dreaming?
His erection is standing at attention now, fully awake even if Josh is not, and I can’t resist. The first time I did this, I was so nervous. But I remember the feel of having him in my mouth and I liked it. I’m eager right now to feel that again. Still not touching him with my hands, I gently take his erection into my mouth, letting my lips close around him as my tongue caresses him firmly. Slowly, I take him deeper and deeper, until I can feel him at the back of my throat. And then I slowly retreat, pulling him all the way out. I lick my lips as I look down at his penis, standing vertical before me. When I glance back up at Josh he is looking at me intensely, the sexiest expression on his face, and I think I might combust.
“Don’t stop now, baby.” His voice is soft and husky. Sexy. And I am suddenly nervous again, just like the first time I did this. But I want to continue. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, my eyes never leaving his. Then I lean forward and take him into my mouth once more. I repeat the slow movement from before, taking him deeper and deeper as my tongue runs softly over him, and then slowly back out. I close my eyes and set a steady rhythm, moving slowly and deliberately as I relish the sensation of every inch of him in my mouth. And I marvel at how something so rock hard could feel soft as velvet at the same time.
I feel his hand in my hair, his fingers running gently over my scalp as my head moves up and down on his shaft. “Oh, that feels so fucking good, Sam,” he mumbles, and his words empower me. I pick up the pace slightly and he groans, his fingers tightening in my hair. “Oh, fuck, baby,” he whispers as his hips begin to buck forward, thrusting himself deeper into my mouth, and I increase the pressure as I suck him. He tastes so good and I love that I can give him pleasure this way. “I’m going to come, Sam,” he warns, picking up his pace, and I know he’s telling me because he’s unsure if I want to swallow. “Ah!” He groans again and I feel his body stiffen as his thick, warm juice fills the back of my throat.
As I’m sitting up, I feel a droplet of liquid on my chin and Josh reaches out, wiping it away with his thumb. But before he can move his hand, I take hold of it, bringing his thumb to my mouth. I can see the surprise register in his eyes and he looks at me in shocked wonder as I softly suck on his thumb. I have never felt so brazen in my life and my subconscious is patting me on the back with a coy smile.
Josh sits up suddenly and takes my face in his hands. “You are amazing, do you know that?” he asks, panting softly.
I blush at his words. “No. But I think you’re pretty incredible,” I whisper, holding his gaze. He stares at me, as if he doesn’t understand my words, and then he gives me that adorable shy smile of his. He kisses me deeply and then turns, shifting so that I somehow have ended up beneath him, lying flat on my back.
He kisses me passionately, his hands roaming over my body and I begin to melt. Then he stops suddenly and looks down at me with a wicked gr
in. “Your turn,” he smiles. And then he slips down the bed between my legs.
“Oh, Joshua!”
*****
My eyes are closed and I bask in the afterglow, panting and spent as Josh slowly rises from his position between my thighs. He and his talented tongue have given me multiple orgasms and I can’t help but feel it’s some sort of thank you for a job well done this morning. My subconscious is still patting herself on the back for giving me the nudge.
He kisses me deeply and I tangle my fingers in his hair as we kiss. “Good morning, Samantha,” he whispers in my ear.
“Good morning.” My soft tone mirrors his as I look into his eyes.
“So what’s on your agenda today, baby?” he asks, snuggling close as he props himself up on his elbow. “The museum’s closed.”
“Just my usual Monday appointment at the spa with Megan,” I answer, lightly running my fingers through his chest hair.
“Hmm. What do you two do at the spa every week anyway?” he asks with a puzzled frown and I giggle at him and he smiles.
“Usually we each get a mani-pedi,” I explain. “But sometimes we’ll get our hair done or a massage or a facial. Or a waxing. Whatever.”
“Waxing, huh?”
“Um hm.”
“What kind of waxing?”
“The usual,” I say, wondering why he’s asking. “I get my legs and my underarms waxed every three weeks.”
He’s quiet for a moment and then asks, “Do you ever wax anything else?”
“Like what?” I frown at him. He says nothing but gets a small smirk on his face and I suddenly feel his fingers, tugging at my pubic hair. I gasp softly and now I’m blushing. “Yes, I sometimes wax the bikini area,” I say nervously.
“Do you ever take it all off?” he asks seductively, a raised eyebrow issuing a small challenge.
“All off?” I can hear the shocked tone in my voice and now he’s smiling at me. He nods his head slowly. “Um, no. I’ve never done that before. Why do men like that?” I ask, my eyes searching his.
He chuckles at the question and then shrugs slightly. “Different reasons. Some guys just like the smooth surface, same way they like a woman’s smooth legs. For others, it’s the whole virgin thing.”
“Virgin thing?” Do I want to know what he means?
“Yes,” he nods slowly. “This might come as a shock to you, baby, but most men have the virgin fantasy at some point in their lives. Sweet young thing, never been touched. And a smooth surface just … puts it over the top for some guys. It’s naughty,” he whispers.
“The first time we made love, you said the fact that I was a virgin turned you on.”
“Yes, I did,” he answers. “And it does.”
“Still? Even though I’m not a virgin anymore?”
He chuckles at me again. “Baby, you have never been with anybody but me. That thought drives me crazy, every single time I bury myself inside you.” His eyes are boring into mine and his words make my breathing hitch.
“Oh.” It’s a breathless whisper and all I seem capable of at the moment. Josh smiles wickedly at me as he leans down and kisses me, his tongue stroking mine feverishly. Soon, I am lost in his kiss, moaning softly into his mouth as his hands begin to roam over my body.
The alarm clock blares loudly, rudely startling us both from our erotic embrace, and Josh reaches over to shut it off. He sighs heavily and looks back at me. “Your alarm clock is annoying, Miss Colby,” he growls at me and I giggle.
“And I suppose your alarm clock politely asks you to wake up?” I ask sweetly.
“No, but it has a very respectful beep,” he smiles. “It lets you know it’s time to get up without screaming at you!” He is so cute when he’s trying to be mad. I giggle at him again and he kisses me swiftly.
“We will continue our earlier conversation later this evening,” he says quietly, smiling at me. Then he gets up and heads for the shower.
Getting out of bed, I hear the water turn on and I pull my soft green robe around me and head to the kitchen. I’ll make Josh breakfast before he goes to work. But before I do, I want to make a call. I pull out my cellphone and dial. It rings twice before it’s answered and a very professional sounding female voice greets me.
“Good morning, Vous Salon and Day Spa. This is Amanda, how can I help you?”
“Good morning, Amanda. This is Samantha Colby, how are you?” I ask as I move around my kitchen, taking my birth control pill and gathering eggs and bacon from the fridge.
“Very well, Miss Colby, thank you. I hope you’re not calling to cancel your standing appointment this morning.”
“No, not at all. Just the opposite actually. I’d like to add a service today if it’s not too late.”
“For you, Miss Colby, it is never too late,” Amanda says sweetly. “We are more than happy to accommodate you in any way we can, ma’am. What can we do for you today?”
I know that her willingness to bend over backwards to accommodate my needs is just one of the perks that come with my last name and, as always, it makes me slightly uncomfortable. If she told me that there was just no way they could possibly fit me in with such short notice, I would be fine with that and simply schedule a normal appointment like everyone else. I sigh as I start to make coffee, and press on.
“I’d like to add a Brazilian wax today.” I can’t believe I’m actually doing this; it’s not like Josh asked me to. He merely asked if I ever had. But I get the feeling he wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t want me to consider it. And I love the way he’s always been so concerned with my comfort level and whether or not he’s hurt me during sex. I want to do this for him.
“Excellent,” Amanda says. “I see that Elle has an opening this morning if you’d like to come in about half an hour ahead of your scheduled mani-pedi with Miss Megan Colby?”
“That sounds great,” I say as I feel the small flutter of butterflies in my belly.
“Okay, I’ve got you all scheduled. We’ll see you soon, Miss Colby!”
I hang up the phone and finish preparing breakfast. When Josh emerges from the bedroom, he is dressed in a nice pair of dark blue jeans and a royal blue dress shirt. He is carrying his black leather jacket and his shoulder holster and gun, and he looks so handsome. Blue is definitely his color!
I smile at him as I set a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon and toast down in front of him. “Thank you, baby,” he says softly, eyeing me appreciatively.
“You’re welcome.” I place a cup of steaming coffee on the breakfast bar for him and then take my seat beside him. I love watching Josh eat the food I’ve cooked for him. It makes me feel good when I know that he’s enjoying something I’ve made just for him. And I am so busy watching him eat that I am slightly startled when he suddenly turns to me and smirks.
“Are you going to eat your own breakfast or are you just going to watch me?”
I blush at his words and I smile bashfully as I take a sip of my orange juice. I sit my glass down and pick up my fork, but as I do, Josh reaches over and takes my chin in his fingers, gently turning my face towards him. He leans in and kisses me sweetly and then smiles at me. He turns back to his breakfast then, still smiling, and I can’t stop the goofy grin that I know I must be wearing. I love him!
Oh, my God. I didn’t say that out loud, did I? No, you dork! You didn’t say it out loud. Oh, thank goodness! But what if I had said it out loud? I wonder, for the millionth time, what his reaction would be if he knew. Maybe it wouldn’t be like I imagine; maybe he would be overjoyed to hear it. Maybe he would even say it back! Maybe … he loves you too?
Or maybe he just doesn’t. Hell, for all I know, maybe he doesn’t even know how. He has spent half of his life avoiding romantic entanglements so, what makes me think he knows the first thing about love? He didn’t exactly have great role models as a child. Maybe I’m just fooling myself to think that we could actually be moving toward something lasting. With his troubled childhood, maybe Josh doesn’t even know what
love is.
No. I refuse to believe that. Yes, he had a difficult, terrifyingly horrendous childhood but, he also had a very loving mother who doted on him because of it. And a loving aunt and uncle. Josh does know what love is; I’m convinced of that! If he didn’t, he would never be so tender and sweet with me all the time. It just wouldn’t be possible.
“What’s wrong, baby?” Josh’s voice startles me out of my troubled thoughts and I look at him distractedly.
“What?”
“You’ve barely touched your breakfast. What’s wrong?” he asks, looking concerned.
“Oh, nothing … I was just … thinking,” I mumble, clearly flustered, and I take a quick bite of scrambled eggs to try and throw him off the tracks. “I, um … I was thinking that I might go to Lola’s gallery today after my spa appointment,” I say softly.
A smile slowly spreads across Josh’s face. “Really?” He is grinning ear to ear at me and I know he thinks that I’ve come to a decision about showing my artwork.
“I haven’t made up my mind yet about doing a show,” I say hurriedly, “I just thought … it might help to talk to her.”
“Sam, I think it’s great that you’re finally considering it,” he says as he lightly squeezes my hand. “I know it’s a big step outside your comfort zone so, I’m proud of you for taking it, baby.” He releases my hand and reaches up to caress my face.
“You are?” My voice sounds so small.
“You know that I am,” he asserts, looking me in the eye. “Just go and see what she has to say, and keep an open mind. Will you take her some of your sketches to look at?”
“Hmm. Well, I hadn’t thought about that but, perhaps it’s not a bad idea. I do have images of a lot of my work stored on my laptop. I could burn a few of them to a CD and take it to her,” I say, brightening. “Thanks for the suggestion, Josh.”
Pierced: Pierced Trilogy Boxed Set Page 42