“Well, you weren’t very talkative,” she says softly.
“I’m sorry, baby,” I say quietly. “I guess I’m just getting a little tired of the song and dance, that’s all.” The instant the words are out of my mouth I wish I hadn’t said them. She looks hurt.
“Why would you say that?” she asks sadly. “I thought you were having a nice time.”
“I am having a nice time, Sam.”
“I mean you seemed to be enjoying yourself when you were talking to Dennis and Lucas. And you had my Uncle Kenny eating out of your hand…”
“Baby, I didn’t mean it that way,” I sigh as I try to reassure her. “I have enjoyed getting to know your family tonight, okay? Most of them have been great to me.”
“Most of them?” she asks with raised eyebrows. And again, I wish I hadn’t said anything. “This is about my mother, isn’t it? She said something to you; that’s why you’re acting weird.”
“Sam…”
“What did she say to you?” Sam demands with a slightly raised voice, hands on her hips. “Tell me so I can go and set her straight!”
“Samantha, stop!” My voice is low and gruff as I gently pull her to me, my hand resting on the small of her back. “What your mother said is not important. This is your cousin’s night, baby. Don’t ruin it for her by making an unnecessary scene.”
She stares at me for a moment and then she blushes softly. “Oh, my God,” she whispers, glancing over at a beaming Megan and Scott as they talk with his parents. “You’re right. This weekend should be perfect for Meg. How is it that you are always so mindful of others, Josh?” she asks, looking up at me with such trust and love in her eyes. It makes me feel like shit again because I know that I didn’t calm her down for Megan’s sake. I did it to cover my own ass. To buy myself a little more time.
She reaches up and softly touches her palm to my face, and I lean my face slightly into her hand, closing my eyes and savoring her touch. How many more touches of her hand will I feel? The question sticks in my gut and twists like a knife. And before I’m aware of it, my arms are around her and my mouth is on hers, and I’m kissing her like it’s the last time. Holding her close. Drinking her in. Not caring at all that we’re in the middle of a crowded room, surrounded by her family and friends.
When we pull away, both of us breathless, she seems to study my eyes for a moment. As if she’s trying to figure out what’s going on with me. She bites her lip and smiles. “Maybe we should finish this conversation at home,” she whispers.
I tighten my hold on her, pulling her closer as I lightly kiss her forehead once more. “Maybe we should,” I answer softly.
Roughly an hour later, Samantha and I are back in the Charger and headed home. And I can’t help but replay the scenes at dinner and wonder for the hundredth time about Lois Colby and what she knows. Was she being straight with me before? Does she really know about my past? About what I did? Maybe she was only fishing, Pierce. And your reaction just tipped her off to the fact that you are hiding something.
Fuck! There’s no way I can win here. If Lois didn’t know before, my weird reaction will only make her curious enough to look into it, and then she will know soon enough. And if she does know already, she won’t hesitate to make good on her threat and tell Samantha all about it. Showing her what a fucking animal I really am. She even threatened to tell the whole PD. Maybe Lee is right and I should just tell Sam everything. Give her the benefit of the doubt, like he said. She loves me. She tells me all the time now that she loves me. She won’t leave me. Will she?
“I’m sorry, Josh.” Samantha’s soft voice snaps me out of my inner turmoil.
“What, baby?”
“About my mom,” she says quietly. “I’m sorry for the way she acted. And for whatever she said to you that ruined the evening.”
“You don’t have to apologize for her, Sam.”
“Yes, I do. She’s so over the top sometimes.”
I reach out and take her hand and bring it to my lips, kissing her knuckles. “It wasn’t a big deal, baby. Let it go.”
She is silent for a moment, and then she says softly, “Honestly, I was expecting a lot worse.”
I snort softly at her words. If she only knew. And what the fuck am I going to do? I either tell Sam the truth, before her mother has a chance to, and pray to God that she understands. Or I can bow down to Lois Colby and walk away before she exposes my sin, and destroys Samantha’s trust in me. Lois gave me until after the wedding. That doesn’t give me a whole lot of time to think about it. To decide which would be worse … coming from me or coming from her. Yeah, Lois will surely make it sound as ugly as possible. But truthfully, there’s no way to make it sound pretty. It is what it is, and I can’t change it. No matter who tells her, Samantha will never look at me the same way again.
Maybe I should just walk away. At least that way, Sam would only end up hating me instead of thinking of me as a fucking monster. And it would save us both the agony of her walking away from me. But how do I do that? How do I walk away from the only woman I have ever wanted to be with? The woman who set me free from the anger and the nightmares. The woman who showed me that I can love, and that happiness is real.
Completely lost in my troubling thoughts, I pull slowly into the garage next to Samantha’s Maserati and let the garage door down, and we head inside the house. We’re quiet as we both get undressed and ready for bed, and I watch as Sam slowly peels off her dress and slips into that green silk nighty that I love. Once I put my gun away at my bedside table and get out of my monkey suit, I join Sam at the bathroom sink and brush my teeth. And when we finally climb between the sheets and I reach out and pull her close, she melts into me as my mouth finds hers.
I have wanted to do this all day long. I kiss her deeply and voraciously, pouring all of my wariness and fear and frustrations into it. And she doesn’t disappoint me. She meets all my pent up passion with her own as our tongues collide, writhing and caressing and exploring. I waste no time getting out of my briefs as my hands travel languidly over her beautiful body, moving beneath the silky material of her night gown. Moving swiftly, I lift it up and over her head, tossing it to the floor as my hands resume their journey over her sweet, silky skin.
With my mouth, I explore every single inch of her flesh, savoring the taste of her skin as she writhes and squirms beneath me. Her fingers twist and pull at my hair as I caress her thighs while my tongue keeps up a relentless assault. Her body bows off the bed as she calls my name, trembling uncontrollably. She tastes so good.
In another second, I’m buried deep inside her, skin against skin, and she moans loudly as I start to move with a slow, steady rhythm. Going deep, I turn over suddenly, bringing Sam with me without breaking our connection, and I kiss her deeply. “Ride me, baby,” I whisper, looking into her eyes. “I want to watch you.” And she complies immediately as she sits up, straddling me, and she begins to move.
Chapter Four
Samantha
I feel so invigorated after our sexy shower together and I am vaguely aware that I’m humming the chorus of “I Knew I Loved You” as I wander around the bedroom in my towel, getting ready. Josh has been in a strange mood since dinner last night and it makes me wonder even more what my mother must have said to him. I bet it was something really hateful since he seems to be having trouble letting it go. At one point, I almost expected him to back out of going to the wedding with me today; he just doesn’t seem to be into it. But he’s never mentioned not going. In fact, he hasn’t said much at all this morning, preferring instead to make love again and again. Not that I’m complaining!
Carefully, I slip into my maid-of-honor dress. It’s really beautiful, the softest shade of purple. ‘Wisteria,’ I believe, is what the sales clerk called it when we all went to the bridal shop a few months ago. It’s strapless chiffon with a layered skirt that hits right above my knees, and Meg and I chose the prettiest silver peep toe pumps to go along with it. The other bridesmaids will
be wearing a similar dress in a darker shade of purple; the pictures are going to be lovely.
I really wish that Josh had a full-length mirror somewhere in this house. It’s so frustrating trying to get dressed without one, especially on a day like today. I sigh with a huff as I mull that one over, and as I do, I suddenly feel Josh’s hands at my lower back, zipping up my dress.
“Oh, thank you.”
He softly kisses my left shoulder as his hand slowly rises. “Well, I’d much rather be unzipping it. But you’re most welcome, baby.” When my dress is secure, he sweeps my hair over my shoulder and slips his arms around me. Then he trails soft, wet kisses from my shoulder all the way up to that spot behind my ear that always makes me shiver. “I will always love the way you felt in my arms this morning,” he whispers softly as his lips gently brush over my ear. And I think I moan softly. I can feel his smile on my skin and it makes me shiver all the more. He is so … oh!
I turn to face him, and he kisses me deeply for a moment. Mmm. We are never going to make it to the wedding at this rate! I pull away from him with a small smile and walk off to the bathroom to put the finishing touches on my hair and makeup. I had at least a million phone calls from Megan this morning as she was freaking out about the hairdresser having the flu and not being able to make it today. So I promised her that I would be there at least an hour early to help her with her hair. She’s such a drama queen sometimes. She is getting married today, Sam. She’s allowed to be a drama queen just this once. I roll my eyes at my subconscious as I wonder idly if I’ll be a crazed loon when I get married. And then I can’t help wondering if maybe I’ll marry Josh one day.
And as that thought hangs in the air above my head, I feel myself blush slightly. I know the thought of marriage would probably freak Josh out big time. But then, he did tell me that he loves me with the playlist. And he was so sweet when we made love that night.
“I have been waiting all my life for you, baby.”
He told me that he loves me in the only way he’s able to right now. And I know that wasn’t easy for him, but he said it anyway. He may not be ready for marriage just yet but, he does appear ready for a more committed relationship. That thought makes me happy and I can’t help my smile.
When I come out of the bathroom I am stopped in my tracks at the sight of him as he slips on the jacket of his charcoal gray suit. He’s wearing the white dress shirt and striped purple tie that I set out for him, and he looks so freaking hot! And I notice that the suit he wore last night and this one both fit him as if they were made just for his body. That’s important when the suit’s not a high-end one and I wonder if he’s had them tailored.
“You are so handsome it should be a crime, Detective.” My voice is soft and full of longing, and he turns and gives me that devastatingly sexy smile of his. Oh, boy!
“Is that so, Miss Colby?”
“Mm hm,” I manage as he saunters over to me with a chuckle.
“Well maybe you can handcuff me to the bed later,” he whispers as he places his fingers beneath my chin and lifts my lips to his, kissing me tenderly. And I blush as I recall our fun with handcuffs a few nights ago. “We should get going if Meg wants you there early,” he says, running a finger down my cheek.
“Okay, I’m ready.”
Josh is sort of quiet on the ride out to Bellevue. The closer we get, the more preoccupied he seems to become, and I begin to wonder if something’s wrong. As we arrive at the house and Josh helps me out of the car, I notice that he looks a little apprehensive.
“Look, Sam,” he begins nervously, “while you’re helping Megan, maybe I should just … go around back to the wedding site. Stay out of the way and wait for the ceremony to start.”
“Josh, that’s over two hours away; don’t be silly. Come inside, you can watch TV or something.” At first I don’t understand his reluctance to come inside the house. But as I think back on last night, I start to get it, and I feel horrible. “Josh … I know that my mother was miserable to you last night and I understand your reticence. But this is not my mother’s house; she’s probably not even here yet. And you are very welcome here.”
“You don’t know that, Sam. I mean your uncle was very nice to me last night but … I saw the looks your mom was throwing him. She probably read him the riot act for being nice to me. He may not want me here today.”
“Why would you think that? Dennis enjoyed your company; and he lives here. And Megan. And she invited you here,” I counter. He is silent as he studies me, and he looks as though he wants to say something more but, he doesn’t. I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Why couldn’t we have had this conversation sooner? “Josh, do you want to just go?” I ask him quietly, and he frowns and cocks his head at me.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean do you want to go?” I repeat, looking him in the eye. “Just go back and I’ll … have Lucas bring me home after the reception.”
His frown deepens, and he reaches out and caresses my face. “No. That is not what I want, Sam. I want to be here with you.” His voice is earnest and his bright blue eyes flash like lightening as they bore into mine. “I just don’t think that’s what certain members of your family want.”
“Well that’s just too damn bad,” I say with an attitude. “Because what they want doesn’t matter. They don’t get a say in how I live my life or who I choose to live it with.” I place my hands on my hips in a show of defiance, and we both know exactly who we’re talking about here.
He smiles slowly at me and then wraps his arms around me as he chuckles, kissing my forehead. “You are my little firecracker, you know that?”
His words make me smile. I love the idea of being his firecracker. I just love the idea of being his. “And don’t you forget it, Detective.” I look up at him and he sweetly kisses the tip of my nose. “Please come into the house,” I say softly, and he nods at me.
He takes me by the hand then and leads me to the front door, and as we walk inside, we are met by barely controlled chaos as caterers and wait staff and florists all run around trying to avoid the wrath of the wedding planner. If it looks this hectic in here, I can only imagine what the scene must look like out back where the action will actually be taking place.
“Oh, thank God!”
I hear Megan’s panic-stricken voice from the top of the double staircase. She comes rushing down toward us in a white silk robe and slippers, and her blond curls are pinned up beneath a silk scarf. She looks like she belongs in one of those old black and white movies from the ’40s. She grabs both my hands and gives them a nervous squeeze.
“I thought you’d never get here! What took you so long?” she asks in frustration. Then she rolls her eyes at me and glances at Josh. “Oh, never mind; I know what took you so long. Hi Josh,” she says, smiling sweetly at him and implying that we’ve been canoodling all morning. Which we have.
“Hi Megan,” he returns her smile and her singsong tone, and we both giggle at him.
Then she turns to me, suddenly serious. “Okay, you have to come with me now; it’s a disaster!”
“Okay, I’ll be right there.”
“Samantha. Now!” She looks on the verge of tears and I feel torn. I want to get Josh settled in front of a TV or something.
“Okay, let me just show Josh to the living room…,”
“Oh for heaven’s sake, it’s right through those doors,” she huffs impatiently as she motions to the open double doors off to our left. And then she raises her voice for effect as she shouts, “Dennis is already in there watching cars drive around in circles instead of getting ready for my wedding!”
And from inside the living room, we all hear him shout, “Bite me, bridezilla!” And I can tell that this argument has obviously been going on all morning long. I shoot Josh an admonishing look when he can’t hide his amusement at Dennis’ snide comeback. He wraps an arm around my waist and kisses my temple; then I watch as he slowly crosses the foyer and walks through the living room doors
and disappears. I’m slightly comforted by the sound of Dennis greeting him warmly as Meg takes my hand again and pulls me toward the staircase.
*****
Megan’s bedroom has quickly filled up with bridesmaids, flower girls, mothers and grandmothers, and we have just over half an hour ’til showtime. I have helped with Meg’s hair and watched as one of the other bridesmaids did her makeup, and now I stand holding the dress as Aunt Jenny and I help her into it. When it’s all fastened and she stands in the mirror before us, she looks like a dream.
“Mom, please don’t cry or you’ll get me started,” Meg says softly.
“I can’t help it,” Aunt Jenny whispers. “My baby girl is getting married. You look so beautiful, honey.” Meg turns then and she and her mom hold one another for several minutes. And I feel a pang of jealousy as I watch them. Were Mom and I ever as close as Meg and Aunt Jenny have always been? When you were a little girl and you wanted to be a princess. Yes. My subconscious is right. Back then, Mom and I were best friends. Back before I discovered my passion for art and realized that the job of fairytale princess didn’t actually exist. Back before I began thinking for myself and developing interests that she didn’t understand or approve of.
I take a step back to give Meg and Aunt Jen a moment alone and, as I do, I bump right into my mother as she’s entering the room.
“Mom! Hi. I was just thinking about you,” I say quietly.
“Were you? What about?” She smiles pleasantly at me. Maybe the wedding has put her in a good mood.
“Oh, I was just watching Meg and Aunt Jenny,” I shrug at her and glance back at them. “I was wondering if … we would be that emotional if I were the one getting married.”
Pierced: Pierced Trilogy Boxed Set Page 63