To Free a Phantom

by Carrie Pulkinen

  “Thank you. You’re a life saver.” She hugged him again, and he couldn’t help but breathe in the sweet scent of her hair—flowers with a hint of vanilla.

  He could’ve held onto her like this all afternoon, but he forced himself to let her go. “You’re welcome. Try it out and make sure everything works. Then I’ll be out of your way.”

  “You’ve never been in the way, Gage.” Her gaze held his for a moment, and a strange energy danced between them. He couldn’t recall her ever looking at him like that before. Then again, she was probably just happy he fixed her computer. She clicked the mouse a few times, opened a file, and flipped through the pages. “This is great. Thank you.”

  “My pleasure.” He loaded his gear back into the bag and slung it over his shoulder. “I’ll see you around.”

  She spun in her chair to face him. “Hey, if you want to get together sometime, so we can catch up…you know where I work.”

  “That I do. Bye, Erica. Good luck with your presentation.”

  She smiled. “Bye, Gage.”

  Aaron stood at Erica’s desk, tapping his foot and counting down the minutes as she put the finishing touches on the presentation. She could’ve been done ten minutes ago if her impatient boss hadn’t hovered over her, his gaze boring a hole into her back as she worked.

  “Time’s up, Emily. Is it done?” He held out his hand.

  “It’s Erica.” She handed him the flash drive.

  “Thanks.” He turned on his heel and strutted away.

  Erica collapsed into her chair and sighed. At least he’d shown a little appreciation this time. Thank goodness Gage had been able to fix her computer. An image of her old friend flashed in her mind, and she smiled. He was still the same sweet boy she knew from high school, with his goofy smile and bright aqua eyes. But then again, he wasn’t. His musculature had finally caught up with his six-foot-three height. He’d filled out in all the right places…probably from working out, by the feel of his biceps. The lanky, nerdy boy-next-door had grown into an incredibly attractive man.

  He was like Gage 2.0.

  “Hey.” Lindsay peered over her cubicle. “What are you smiling about?”

  “I’m not smiling.” She tried to flatten her mouth, but her lips wouldn’t budge from their grin.

  “Yes, you are.”

  “I finished my presentation. I get to keep my job.”

  “Uh huh.” Lindsay slid around the divider and perched on the edge of Erica’s desk. “How do you know Gage?”

  Her smile widened. “He’s a friend from high school.”

  “Did you date him in high school?” Her curiosity lilted in her voice.

  “Gage? No. My dad and I moved in next door to him when I was a sophomore. He was just a friend. A good friend.” The best friend she’d ever had.

  She’d done all she could to avoid everyone from her past since she’d returned home. Luckily, in a city this big, it wasn’t hard to do. But seeing Gage again had stirred up some strange emotions she hadn’t expected to feel.

  Lindsay laughed. “Oooh, so you were the girl-next-door. I’m intrigued.”

  “There’s really nothing to be intrigued about. There was never anything between us.”

  “But now you want to date him.”

  “I…” A flush of warmth spread through her body, something she wasn’t used to feeling when talking about Gage. Could she date him? He knew her too well. Knew all her dreams and ambitions that she’d failed miserably at achieving. If they ever did catch up, and he learned the truth about why she’d returned to Michigan, whatever romantic interest he had in her would shrivel before it had a chance to bloom. Not that he ever had any interest in her. She was a screw-up. And an ugly one to boot. “No, I don’t want to date him.”

  Lindsay eyed her skeptically. “Don’t deny it. When he was up here before, you two had a moment.”

  “We did not have a moment.”

  “Yes, you did. You looked at him. He looked at you. You both felt sparks. You had a moment. I saw it.”

  Erica rolled her eyes. “We did not feel sparks; he was fixing my computer.” Her heart may have fluttered a bit, but that was a normal reaction. Gage had been her best friend. It was natural to feel excited to see him again after ten years.

  “Maybe not sparks…not yet…but you felt something, and the sooner you quit denying it, the happier you’ll be. You should ask him out.”

  “No. He knows me too well. It would be…weird.”

  Lindsay shrugged. “So, you get to skip the awkward finding out if you’re compatible stage. You already know you get along.”

  Erica picked at the pale orange polish on her nails. She hardly knew Lindsay. Aside from happy hour once a week, which Erica forced herself to go to, she never saw her outside the office. This was the most personal conversation she could remember having with her coworker. With anyone lately. “If you think he’s so great, why aren’t you dating him?”

  She looked thoughtful for a moment before scrunching up her nose. “Nah. That would be too much like dating a cousin. I’ve never felt sparks about Gage. Not like you do.”

  “I do not feel sparks.” Maybe a few glowing embers, but they’d surely die down as soon as this awkward conversation ended. “How do you know him, anyway?”

  Lindsay grinned. “We share a hobby.”

  “What hobby?”

  “Call it research.”

  Erica arched an eyebrow. “Your hobby is research? Sounds…fascinating.”

  “Sometimes it is.”

  “What do you research?”

  She tapped a finger to her chin. “You should ask Gage about it when you go on your first date.”

  “We’re not going on a date.”

  “You told him you wanted to catch up.”

  Erica sighed. How much of her past was she willing to share to get Lindsay off her back? “When I graduated high school, I moved away to…do something stupid. Gage tried to convince me not to go, and he was right. I wasted years of my life chasing someone else’s dream, and now here I am, twenty-eight years old, in an entry-level position, doing graphics for an asshat that can’t even remember my name.” She picked up a paper clip and stretched it out, trying to straighten it into a rod.

  “Better not let Aaron see you doing that. He gets pissed when people waste office supplies.”

  She tossed the mangled metal into the trash. “Once Gage finds out what a failure I am, any sparks he felt in our moment will fizzle out.”

  Lindsay waved a hand in the air, dismissing the statement. “Everyone makes mistakes. I don’t know what Gage was like in high school, but as an adult, he’s one of the nicest men I know. He won’t hold it against you.”

  Erica shut down her computer and pulled her purse from a drawer. “He wasn’t interested in me then. Why would it be any different now?”

  “Maybe he was, and you didn’t know it. Men aren’t always good at expressing their emotions.” Lindsay stood and gathered her things. “Either way, feelings can change. Yours did. Have a good night.”

  Erica stayed at her desk until Lindsay disappeared through the double-doors into the hallway. If Gage had been interested in her in high school, he’d done an excellent job of hiding it. Or maybe she’d been blind. Accepting the fact that any man would want her was a hard pill to swallow. She hadn’t believed Carter, her first and only boyfriend, when he flat-out told her he wanted to date her. Then, she’d realized ten years too late that he’d been more interested in having an acting coach and someone to support him than a girlfriend.

  Gage had certainly changed in a good way. Unfortunately, Erica was the same incompetent wreck she’d always been. Sparks could never fly between them, but it would be nice to have her friend back. She rose from her desk and headed to the parking lot. As she hit the unlock button on her remote, her gray Saturn made a chirp-chirp noise and the headlights flashed. She followed the sound and slid into the driver’s seat before making the half-hour trek to her apartment.

  At
home, Erica assumed her usual evening position on the couch to watch her favorite talent competition on television. Since she’d screwed up royally in making her own dreams come true, she loved watching other people get a chance at achieving their own.

  She still had a dream. While it was too late for her to become a Broadway star, she adored teaching theater. One day she’d have enough classes running to generate the income needed for her to quit her thankless graphics job and focus on helping kids achieve their dreams full-time. If she could ever figure out the business end of things.

  Really, all she wanted to do was teach, but it seemed she’d have to figure out how to run the place, too, or she’d be stuck in a cubicle for the rest of her life.

  She turned up the volume as an eight-year-old girl belted out a Celine Dion song. Her voice was so rich, so beautiful; Erica teared up. She grabbed her phone, opened the program’s app, and gave all her available votes to the little prodigy. This girl was going places—as long as she didn’t follow her jerk boyfriend off to somewhere she didn’t belong and then get the degree her father wanted her to have.

  A tapping sound on the window drew her attention from the television. The same translucent spirit woman floated outside, her sad eyes boring into Erica’s heart, pleading for help. She rose from the couch and approached the window. This ghost was getting insistent, so she didn’t dare invite her in this time. Not that she actually could have kept her out, but still. “How did you find me?”

  The spirit tilted her head to the side. “I felt you. Please help me.”

  Sadness creeped into Erica’s heart, tightening her chest and bringing another round of tears to her eyes. But this emotion wasn’t her own. The spirit was projecting her own state into her. Feeding her the despair and hopelessness she felt at being lost between worlds.

  Though the emotions were much more intense than her own, they felt sadly familiar. “I’m so sorry. If I knew how to help you, I would.”

  Chapter Three

  Gage drummed his fingers on his desk and checked the clock for the twentieth time this morning. He’d promised himself he’d wait until ten o’clock before going upstairs to talk to Erica, but time seemed to be crawling.

  He closed his eyes and rehearsed what he would say when he got to her desk. He’d tell her he was checking to be sure her computer was running okay. That was believable. He’d checked on people before.

  He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. Why the hell was he so nervous? This was Erica. She’d called him her best friend back in high school. He shouldn’t have been nervous to talk to her, but there he was, his leg bouncing uncontrollably beneath the table, nausea churning in his stomach.

  He’d lied when he’d said she hadn’t changed a bit. She was as beautiful as he remembered. More so. But something about her was different. Something in her eyes. The way she’d looked at him yesterday had made his heart thud. She’d never looked at him like that before. Ever. For the first time since she’d moved in next door all those years ago, it felt like the attraction he felt toward her might be mutual.

  He glanced at the clock again. Nine fifty-five. “Screw it.” He hopped to his feet and jetted toward the elevator before anyone could ask him where he was headed.

  He found her at her desk, her loose, light-brown braid cascading over her shoulder, a few stray strands spiraling down the back of her deep purple shirt. When he caught her gaze, her face lit up, and she spun around in her chair to face him.

  “Hi, Gage. What brings you to the sixth floor?”

  He grinned. “You, of course.”

  A strange look flashed in her eyes. Surprise? Excitement? He wasn’t sure. “I came to make sure your computer was still working. Have you had any more problems with it?”

  The look faded to what he could only call disappointment for a brief second before she composed herself. “Everything’s fine. I gave the flash drive to Aaron, so my job is safe for now.” She let out a dry chuckle.

  He considered her for a moment. She’d seemed excited he came to see her, but disappointed when he asked about her computer. Did that mean…? He shifted his gaze to her monitor and scratched behind his ear. Stop trying to read into it and talk to the woman. “Why’d he insist on a flash drive anyway? He could’ve downloaded it himself.”

  She glanced around as if making sure no one was listening. “Because he’s a stubborn old asshat with a my-way-or-the-highway mentality.”

  “Glad I don’t work under the guy.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and glanced at Erica’s hands folded in her lap. She wasn’t wearing a wedding ring. His heart beat a little harder. “So…when you came back, did Carter…?”

  “He stayed in LA.” She looked into his eyes. “That’s over.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I’m not.” She pressed her lips together and held his gaze a bit longer.

  The silence stretched into awkwardness, something he’d never experienced with her before. She finally broke eye contact, and her gaze traveled down the length of his body and back up again. Though she didn’t lay a finger on him, that one look felt as if she had caressed every inch of him.

  He cleared his throat. “Do you want to go to lunch today?”

  Her eyes brightened for a split second before she slumped her shoulders and blew out a breath. “I can’t. I have a working lunch planned with Brian. He asked me to help him with an ad he’s designing.”

  Gage ran a hand through his hair. “That’s okay. I understand.” Maybe her comment yesterday about catching up had been a formality. Something nice to say to someone from her past, even though she really didn’t mean it.

  As he turned to go, Lindsay popped her head over the cubicle wall. “But we’re all going to happy hour at Molly’s Place after work. You could always join us there.” She glanced between Gage and Erica, a smug grin curving her lips.

  “Yeah.” Erica straightened her posture. “You should come. It would be nice to see you outside of work.”

  His immediate response would have been “Thanks, but no thanks,” but the expectant look in Erica’s eyes had him thinking twice. Still, spending an hour at a bar with a bunch of people he didn’t know didn’t sound much like a “happy” time to him. “I don’t know anyone in graphics.”

  Erica giggled. “You know me.”

  “And me,” Lindsay said.

  He glared at his friend, and she sank into her chair behind the divider.

  As much as he wanted to spend some time with Erica, doing it in a crowded bar with loud music and a bunch of drunks wasn’t exactly what he had mind. He wanted to talk to her. To find out what she’d been up to the past ten years. To figure out if that strange look in her eyes meant it was possible she might feel something more than friendship for him. No, happy hour wasn’t the way to go.

  He’d give her his number. Put the ball in her court. If she really did want to catch up, she’d call him. And if she didn’t…he’d go back to life as he knew it and forget about her. Yeah, right. “I think I’m going to pass. Happy hour really isn’t my thing.”

  Her shoulders drooped. “Okay. I understand. But…I’ll be there at five-thirty if you change your mind.”

  “Here.” He handed her the business card he’d scribbled his personal cell number on earlier. “If you have any more trouble with your computer, text me. It’ll get fixed faster that way.”

  She took the card and ran her thumb across the ink. “Thanks, Gage. I will.”

  He turned and shuffled out of the graphic arts department, and probably out of Erica’s life. If she’d been back in town for six months and hadn’t tried to contact him, she must’ve had a reason. She’d outgrown her friendship with the boy-next-door and moved on. Hell, he’d moved on too, until he saw her again. The ball wasn’t in her court. She’d probably already shoved it into the supply closet.

  The elevator chimed for the second floor, and he made his way to his office. As he sat at his desk, his phone buzzed. A text from a number he didn’t recognize lit up th
e screen, and he swiped it open.

  Thanks again for fixing my computer. I hope you’ll change your mind about tonight, but if you don’t, I understand. You’ve got my number now. I hope you’ll use it.

  The corner of his mouth pulled into a grin as he saved Erica’s number to his contacts. It looked like she wanted to play ball after all. Still, happy hour wasn’t the court he wanted to play on.

  He busied himself by rebuilding a computer that was past due for an upgrade. It wasn’t a rush job. In fact, he didn’t have to have the project completed until next week, but it was easy to lose himself to the methodology of the task. The order. The structure. As long as he kept his hands and his mind busy, he could keep his thoughts away from Erica and the futile emotions stirring in his chest. She’d never been interested in anything more than friendship. He shouldn’t expect anything more now.

  As five o’clock rolled around, he packed up his project and shut down his computer. He looked at the text Erica had sent him and shook his head. If the woman wanted to see him, who was he to tell her no?

  Adam stopped at his desk on his way out the door. “Chris and I are going to the bowling alley tonight, if you want to join in. Half-price beer and nachos.”

  Gage shoved his phone in his pocket and pulled out his keys. “No thanks. I’m going to happy hour.”

  Erica sat on a barstool at Molly’s Place and scanned the faces in the crowd. Close to twenty people from her department showed up today, and many of them were already on their second or third drinks. The entire sixth floor walked on egg shells when Aaron had a big meeting to attend, so it wasn’t surprising so many felt the need to let off a little steam now that the boss had gone.

  A lone musician stood on the small wooden stage at the opposite end of the room, crooning Ed Sheeran covers while strumming an acoustic guitar. Sports paraphernalia from the local Michigan teams decorated the walls, and the scent of French fries wafted in from the restaurant behind the bar. Lindsay slid onto the stool next to her and ordered her second beer. Erica had barely drained half of her first Dos Equis.