by Tina Beckett
She’d missed taking them the past three nights.
Three!
That had happened a couple of times over the past six months, but as she hadn’t been sleeping with anyone she hadn’t worried about it. Her night shifts always threw her schedule off, and it had been a crazy couple of weeks. Every other time she’d simply caught up with her dosage and gone on with life.
She swallowed as the implication hit her.
This wasn’t “every other time.”
Clay had offered to use a condom.
Why hadn’t she let him?
She’d been too caught up in her own greedy need to get him inside her, and she had no idea if the condom he’d talked about had been in his wallet or in another room of the house. And she hadn’t wanted him to get up.
Besides, she was on the Pill! Or she had been. And she hadn’t planned on spending the entire night at his place. She’d figured she’d just take it when she got home.
Panic flashed through her system. What if his sperm had already made its way to an egg?
Would taking a Pill now undo it all? Maybe.
Which is what you need to do!
Or there were morning-after pills. That might be the best route.
But hadn’t she been thinking about adoption or in vitro once her residency was completed? The image of herself holding Clay’s baby began growing in her head.
What if this was fate’s way of telling her to go for it? That now was the time?
And what about Clay? Did he have no say in the matter…? She didn’t know. Her emotions were a huge jumbled knot in her stomach.
She needed to give herself a few hours or a day to think this through. It wasn’t as if she had to decide in the next fifteen minutes.
Really?
God, she was setting herself up for a disaster. She was almost at the end of her residency—there was no way she could afford a pregnancy right now.
And especially not one with a man she’d ended things with four years ago.
What a mess.
Caren touched her arm. “Everything okay?”
“Yes. Of course it is.” She searched her mind for a believable reason for being so distant. “I’m just thinking about the festival. There are only two more weeks to get ready for it.”
“I know. You must be nervous. And it’s weird about those jars, but I’m sure it’s just some dummy playing around.” She winked.
Holly nodded, lowering her voice so that Sam, who was busy pouring their drinks, wouldn’t hear. “You know how things get blown out of proportion.”
“What things?” She had no idea what either of them were talking about.
The two women looked at each other. “The jars. The ones of you and Dr. Matthews,” Holly whispered. “Someone added something to them.”
“Added what?” Tessa had been far too distracted, her head racing with other, more pressing, worries.
Caren’s brows went up. “You haven’t seen them yet?”
She’d been too confused today to even look at them. Actually, she’d been avoiding looking at them like the plague. Because she somehow had to get up the nerve to keep on practicing with him or she’d have a lot of explaining to do to Peter Lloyd. And to Marcos. No way did she want to tell anyone what had happened between them last night.
Clay’s mom had shown up at eight o’clock this morning with Molly in tow. Tessa had been in the shower, still in a blissful haze after waking up to Clay’s lips on her neck. Only the Clay who’d poked his head into the bathroom had been a different man from the one who’d sunk into her two hours earlier. “My mom is here with Molly.”
Her heart had shuddered to a stop. “Meu Deus. What do you want me to do?”
She’d expected him to tell her to hide under the bed until he could sneak her out of the house. Instead, he’d shaken his head. “Nothing. I told them we had an emergency at the hospital and were exhausted. That you slept over.” He gave her a smile. “You were expecting to hide in a closet?”
Yes.
She brought herself back to the conversation at hand. Which she couldn’t seem to remember for the life of her. Oh, yeah. The collection jars. “We found out that the hospital administrator set them up. Are they overflowing or something?”
Holly glanced again at Sam, who was now headed toward them, juggling four glasses. “Just look at them when you get to the hospital in the morning, okay? You’d think that you and Dr. Matthews were dating.”
She sucked down a shocked breath, but before she could say anything else Sam was handing her a cranberry juice—she’d refused the wine, saying she wasn’t feeling all that well. Poor Caren. This wasn’t exactly the send-off she’d been looking to give her. And she would genuinely miss her.
“So when does Kimberlyn arrive again?”
“She’s supposed to start moving in the day of the festival, so I figure it’ll be a good way for her to see some of the hospital staff in a more laid-back setting.” Caren looked around at the group. “Make her feel welcome, okay? She’s been putting a lot of pressure on herself lately. If she doesn’t get that fellowship…”
Tessa laid a hand on her arm. “Don’t worry, we’ll make sure she feels at home. We’ll put up a sign and everything.”
Holly smiled, dropping onto one of the plush striped sofas that flanked the fireplace and taking a sip of her wine.
“I can tell her where all the cool shops are, or go with her if she needs anything. You just make sure you don’t catch any tropical diseases, or we’ll have to come down and rescue you.”
“I’ll be careful. Don’t get rid of my room or anything. I plan on taking up where I left off when I get back next year.”
This time Sam spoke up, his eyes glinting. “I’ll try to keep Holly from redecorating it while you’re gone.” Their male housemate might be quiet but his dry humor sometimes came out of nowhere, surprising them all.
They all laughed right on cue, and Sam emptied his glass of the last of his wine. “I can’t stay but, seriously, take care, kiddo. And keep in touch.”
“I will.” She gave him a hug. “I need to go, too. Would you mind lugging those two bags to the bottom of the stairs while I call a cab?”
“Will do.” Sam took his wineglass and set it on the counter by the sink. To Holly and Tessa he said, “See you sometime tonight.”
With that, he picked up their friend’s luggage as if it weighed nothing and headed out the door.
Tessa’s eyes moistened. “I’m going to miss you. More than you know.”
“I know. Me, too. But I’ll be back before you know it. Give Kimber any help she needs, okay?”
Holly gave Caren a quick hug as well, turning away quickly, probably on the verge of blubbering, just as Tessa was. “I’ll call the taxi service for you.”
Moving forward, Tessa gave her friend a long hug, feeling sadder than she should under the circumstances. This was a fabulous opportunity for Caren, and she should be glad for her.
She was. She was just feeling weepy and out of sorts for some reason today.
“Email me as soon as you can. And call if you need anything.”
“You can count on it, honey. Don’t go and get married or anything before I get back.”
That was one thing she could reassure Caren about. “I’m not planning on marrying anyone for a long, long time. Maybe even never. I have too much to prove to myself first.”
If things hadn’t gone south between her and Clay, she might already be married. But their relationship might have wound up on the rocks, like his other marriage. Part of Tessa wondered if she was even marriage material. She squirmed at the thought of a man wanting to protect her. Or pay her way.
She felt for any guy who ended up getting involved with her.
Caren glanced at her face and then smiled. “Be careful about saying never. And definitely look at those jars when you go to work tomorrow. And I hereby deny all knowledge.”
Something about the way she’d said that…
�
�Knowledge of what? Caren, what did you do?”
Holly came back over. “Taxi is en route.”
“Saved by the cab. Okay, I’ll go stand with my luggage so Sam doesn’t have to wait around. Love you guys.”
“Love you, too,” Tessa and Holly said.
Holly turned to her. “I need to run by the hospital and check on my schedule for next week.”
“I’ll straighten up.” Tessa was actually glad to be by herself for a few minutes. She’d been running on nerves since she left Clay’s this morning. Maybe she could take a bath in peace for once. It had been a long time, in fact, since she’d had a day off. It was sorely needed today of all days.
And it might give her a chance to figure out what to do, or at least work up the courage to do something that would make sure she wasn’t pregnant.
She waved the girls off and slumped into one of the chairs, where she sat for several minutes, just staring at the empty fireplace in front of her.
Her eyes closed and her hand slid across her tummy. “Please, God, don’t let me have to make that choice. Anything but that.”
A gust of wind blew against one of the windows, making it rattle in its frame. Somehow she couldn’t get it out of her mind that the Big Guy might just be looking down at her and laughing.
Clay was in the lobby when she arrived at work the next morning. And the man did not look happy.
Her stomach clenched, but she forced a smile. “Hi. You’re here early.” Tessa had purposely arrived a half hour before her shift. Obviously, if she’d been trying to avoid Clay, her plan had failed miserably.
And she still hadn’t started taking her her birth control pills, because she didn’t know if it would do any good at this point. But what she had done was decide to make an appointment with the head of Maternal Fetal medicine here at the hospital and see what she had to say.
You would think as a doctor Tessa could formulate her own professional opinion. And she could, medically speaking. But it wouldn’t be objective. And that’s what she needed right now, someone to talk her off whatever ledge she was standing on.
Clay still wasn’t smiling. “I need to warn you about something.”
This time it wasn’t her stomach muscles that reacted but her heart, the organ racing within her chest. “Warn me about…?”
Surely he didn’t know about the Pill fiasco.
No. How could he? She’d told him she was on them, and he’d obviously believed her. And she had been. She certainly hadn’t been lying or trying to pull any kind of funny business.
And if she wound up pregnant… would he still believe her then? That it had just been a fluke?
“Come with me.”
She shied back from him as if he was going to grab her hand, which of course he wouldn’t. Not here at the hospital.
They did have practice today, so they would have seen each other at some point anyway.
His eyes narrowed as he studied her for a minute, then he simply spun on his heel and walked toward the bank of elevators. Left to her own devices, she followed him, assuming that’s what he wanted. He pushed the button for her floor. “You might want to do something about it.”
Again her heart skipped a time or two.
Stop it, Tessa. He has no idea that you missed taking your contraceptives.
She didn’t ask what he wanted her to do something about, figuring that’s why he’d come up to the floor with her. Maybe there was a problem with a patient. Or maybe even the one they’d worked on together. Except he wouldn’t be on this floor.
“Is Mr. Phillips okay?”
He glanced back at her. “As far as I know. I haven’t checked on him today.” He motioned at the desk.
Her eyes skipped across it, seeing the two collection jars.
Wait. The jars. Caren and Holly had mentioned them, and Caren had denied any wrongdoing.
She walked slowly toward the desk, her eyes on the clear glass containers that were now lined with green bills. They were both stuffed almost full.
And then she saw it.
The labels had been changed.
Oh, God.
The simple names the jars had sported before had morphed into hand-drawn likenesses of them. Only these were no ordinary pictures. They’d each been made to look as if they were puckering up. And the jars been turned so the lips met… so she and Clay appeared to be kissing.
Each other.
She made a low sound of distress, and Clay moved to stand beside her. “It’s obvious that someone saw us outside the hospital.”
“Are they all like this?” she whispered.
“Every single one of them. It isn’t Lloyd’s doing this time.” His breath whistled out in a long pained sigh. “And the worst thing is, we’re not the only ones who’ve seen them.”
Since the jars were in an open area on every floor, that stood to reason. “I guess the whole hospital knows about that kiss, then.” She groaned, knowing there were going to be endless comments and speculation about what was going on between her and Clay.
And if she suddenly wound up pregnant?
She swallowed hard.
“Yes, the whole hospital knows.” He turned to face her. “And so do my mother and Molly.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
TIME TO DO some damage control.
Practice that afternoon had been a bust. Clay hadn’t been able to keep his mind on what was happening in the ring, and neither could Tessa, evidently, since Marcos—back in royal form after his hospital stint—had excoriated both of them. Publicly. And had told them to be back tomorrow for a private session.
Everyone else was off the hook.
There’d also been no end to the questions from Clay’s mom, who’d believed him when he’d said that Tessa had merely slept over. He’d even let her assume that he’d spent the night on the couch, although he never actually said that he had.
Now she thought he’d lied to her, of all things.
And had warned him about letting himself get too involved, reminding him that they’d already tried that path once and it hadn’t worked out. She didn’t want to see him get hurt.
He was no longer a little boy, but he was still his mom’s son. She was worried about him. And probably with good reason. He’d been shocked by the depth of his response to Tessa the other night. As hard as he’d tried to keep things on an even keel, telling himself that it was all about one night of really good sex, somehow he knew it wasn’t. That was as much of a lie as letting his mom believe that he and Tessa had spent a platonic night together.
As if he and Tessa could ever remain platonic.
She drove him insane. And not in a good way.
The worst thing had been when she’d peered a little bit closer at one of the jars and seen the check his mom had made out and slid inside it. It should have grated on him that his parents had voted for Tessa and not for him, but they knew how good she was at capoeira. It would be crazy to bet on anyone but her.
Tessa’s face had blanched, turning as white as one of the paper sheets the hospital used to cover the exam tables. She hadn’t said a word, just backed away from the jars.
He had a feeling her reaction had something to do with that discussion they’d had a couple of weeks ago about his parents paying for her education.
But this wasn’t paying for anything. They were simply contributing to a worthy charity.
But Tessa might not have taken it that way.
Clay had been so worked up about his mom getting the wrong idea that he hadn’t bothered to see Tessa’s reaction as anything other than petulant. But maybe it was more than that.
Tessa was proud. Very much so. Maybe because she hadn’t been born here, she felt as if she had more to prove.
But he wasn’t a mind reader, neither did he have the time to worry about anything other than the well-being of his daughter. He was not going to drag her through another one of his failures.
Which meant he needed to cool it with Tessa. Big-time.
O
nly he didn’t want to.
He wanted to sleep with her. Again. Despite everything that had gone on with the hospital and with his mom and Molly.
He and Tessa had always been great together in that way. And she was a hot, giving lover who made him reach for the stars. The two of them had had some wild times together.
His body couldn’t be blamed for remembering what they’d done and wanting to grab at more of the same. Especially since his love life with Lizza had been lukewarm at best. Once they’d married, she’d tolerated his advances, but beyond that she’d seemed perfectly content to keep to her own side of the bed. The only thing she’d really seemed to like had been when he’d complimented her on an outfit or admired her beauty.
And she was beautiful.
But Tessa had a quality that Lizza could never touch.
A raw, honest sensuality that went to the very core of who she was. And Clay couldn’t believe no other man had snatched her up.
Then again, maybe she hadn’t wanted to be snatched up. Tessa was so driven to succeed. Maybe that was enough for her.
Except what he’d experienced in his bed said she wanted more.
He ducked into Mr. Phillips’s room to check on the man’s leg. Brian Perry was there as well, reading the patient’s chart. He nodded to the other doctor, who returned the gesture. Tessa had mentioned that the care team had met about his melanoma, and the recommended treatment was a grueling course of chemo. Mr. Phillips had said no.
“How’s our patient?” Clay asked. He wouldn’t admit that he was disappointed it wasn’t Tessa in the room. At least, not to the other doctor.
Mr. Phillips was the one who answered. “I’m ready to go home, that’s how I am.”
It was said with a smile but, still, he could hear a little note of impatience in the man’s voice.
“I’m sure it won’t be much longer. But you’re going to need to visit a rehab center to get back on your feet. You realize that, don’t you?”
“I think I’ll skip that, if it’s all the same to you, Doc.”
Clay looked at the patient’s face and saw a tiredness and grim resignation that made his chest ache.
In the end, it was Mr. Phillips’s decision, and Clay had to respect that. “Is your daughter still here?”