Never Have an Outlaw's Baby: Deadly Pistols MC Romance (Outlaw Love)

by Snow, Nicole

  My nails tangled in his shirt, raking against his chest.

  Fighting him, pulling him into me all at once.

  My mouth moved against his, saying things words couldn't.

  But I didn't realize how much like lightning cutting across the sky this conversation was going to be until he started ripping off my clothes.

  His hands roamed my body, jerking off my shirt, snapping my bra strap. My jeans and panties came down in one push, and I felt the wet trickle rolling down my thigh instantly.

  “Joker...”

  Big mistake, just whispering my name. He took my thighs, slammed them against the wall, and pulled my legs apart.

  Then his face was buried in my pussy.

  My fingernails were on his scalp now, pushing through his thick, dark hair, feeling for precious support. And I needed it – God, I needed it – almost as much as I'd needed this for so long.

  His tongue pushed through my wetness, taking over, hitting all the right spots. My thighs were trembling, and I leaned on him, urging him in deeper, deeper, deeper while his mouth took me through heaven and hell.

  Oh, God. Deeper.

  “Holy shit. Joker, I'm –“ I bit my own tongue, dying from excitement.

  Every time I whimpered, his mouth moved faster. My clit went between his teeth, swelled in his vice, and exploded against the first few lashes of his tongue.

  He growled when I came. His rumble echoed through me, angry as a wild animal, just a steady, mad pulse of fire, hate, and sex.

  Still panting through clenched teeth, I forced myself to open my eyes while he was still licking me, and saw myself in the mirror. My whole body was totally contorted. My pupils were tiny and the whites were going bloodshot, blown out by the nasty shock of the past week, and now this.

  Whatever the hell this even was.

  He held me while I halfway collapsed in his arms, coming up, and smashed his lips down on mine. I could taste myself on his mouth. I could taste him.

  God. I tasted three fucking years worth of built up emotion, all pouring out in this torrent.

  “Fuck, I missed that sweet little cunt. You on the fuckin' pill, or what?” he spat, pulling away from me, clenching my chin with his fingers.

  “I've...I've missed a few days. It isn't safe. I'll start again tonight.”

  “Then get on your knees if you don't want another kid. You're gonna suck every last drop outta me, straight down your throat.”

  He pushed me down. Gently, but firmly.

  My eyes went to his pants, which he pushed down a second later, along with his boxers. The pierced, magnificent dick I'd missed forever sprang out, angrier than I'd ever seen it before.

  “Speak to me, Summertime. Suck me the fuck off. Blow me so goddamned hard I forget about all the lies and the bullshit and you running, hiding, lying. Suck.”

  “I didn't run,” I said angrily, trying to keep my eyes off the rock hard cock pulsing in his hand, the little bullet of his piercing shining in the dim bathroom light.

  “Suck,” he repeated, reaching down, tangling his fingers through my hair. He pushed my face towards it.

  Before I knew it, my mouth was full of him. Hard, hot, earthy beneath my tongue.

  I bobbed my head, running my tongue along his length, searching for that spot underneath the head – the one that caused him to suck breath and growl all those years ago.

  “Fuck. Shit. Goddamn, woman!” he snarled.

  Bingo. I focused my tongue there, reaching up to massage his balls, amazed that these were what had given us the boy sleeping in his room.

  I sucked him like my life depended on it, because maybe it did.

  Ran my lips, my tongue, my teeth across his cock, erasing all the years of distance, speaking through the insane, painful barriers between us.

  “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he sputtered, pulling on my hair until it burned deliciously. “Fucking shit, Summertime. Take it!”

  And I did.

  His head swelled, pulsed, and pumped into my mouth. I held him deep, still massaging him as he came, hopelessly trying to catch his come.

  It was completely impossible. He flooded me, shot thick ropes down my throat, just pumping and pumping and pumping until his sticky, warm seed ran out around the corners of my lips.

  I'd be a total mess by the end of it, and so what?

  Right now, nothing mattered, except feeling him growling out his hate, his madness, shooting me full of him. Again.

  When he finally softened, I pulled his cock out, and kissed him near the piercing. He jerked himself away, glowering at me again, his eyes as dull and dead as they'd been before.

  “Clean the fuck up and let me know if you need to eat. You can sleep in my room with the kid tonight. I'll take the sofa.”

  “You mean...that's it? Just like that?”

  Pants pulled up, he tugged on his zipper, leaving me naked while he reclaimed his biker suit like nothing ever happened.

  Jesus, I'd been an idiot.

  “That's all 'til I decide what the fuck to do with you, yeah. I'll sleep on it. You rest. You're safe here, you listen to me, and that'll do dandy.”

  He walked out, closing the door behind him, leaving me alone for the millionth time.

  I buried my face in my hands and broke down, surrounded by his scent.

  * * *

  “Wake the fuck up, sunshine,” a dark voice said, edging me from my dreams.

  I turned, reaching one arm out for Alex, and felt – nothing.

  I bolted up, heart pounding, and saw him in Joker's arms, the little boy giggling while he reached for his father's face.

  It was still dark outside. “Shit. What time is it?”

  “Early enough. We've got business at the clubhouse, babe, and you're coming with.”

  “Be careful with him,” I said, feeling like a total bitch because Alex looked happier than he'd been for awhile in daddy's arms. “Let me get dressed.”

  He left the room, still playfully bouncing the boy in his arms. They were naturals together.

  Of course they were. Why did that feel like an arrow through the chest?

  Maybe because there'd never be one big, happy family. I was only fooling myself.

  There was only Joker and Alex. Alex and me.

  Two pairs. Never a whole.

  I got dressed as quickly as I could. When I stepped out, Joker sat on the sofa with Alex on his lap, a bowl of pipping hot oatmeal at his side.

  “Buckle up, little man. Here comes the Harley on its run...” His hand slowly moved the spoon toward Alex's mouth, stopping as my son laughed.

  It would've been heartwarming, honestly, if I wasn't still so pissed. “You need to be careful with that! Make sure it isn't too hot.”

  Joker looked up, his eyes on fire. “Ain't a fuckin' fool, Summertime. It's plenty warm. Not scalding. Tested it myself. Anyway, there's more in the kitchen if you need it.”

  My stomach growled, forcing me to swallow my pride and take what he'd left out. I grabbed it and sat down next to them, spooning a bite into my mouth.

  Anything would've tasted good. This was almost heavenly, with just the right honey sweetness, a hint of apple, and some cinnamon mixed in.

  “Is this instant?” I said, eyeing him carefully as he moved another bite to Alex's small mouth.

  “Come the fuck on.” He snorted. “I'm man enough to wake up and do my cooking. Same recipe Grandpa used to feed us when we were kids. Only fair my son has the same breakfasts I did.”

  My son. It sounded so heavy on his lips, so full of pride.

  I softened, giving him his moment with Alex. Whatever.

  There'd be plenty of time to seethe at him for using me as a doormat later, but for the next ten minutes, I was almost at peace, watching him handle our baby boy like he'd been doing it from day one.

  “Okay, kid,” he whispered softly, pulling a napkin off the table and blotting at the little boy's mouth. “Time to go. Keep eating like that and you'll be able to knock men out twice my
size someday.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Oh, sure. Like I really want him becoming one of your brothers.”

  Joker's head twisted, aiming the second hate-fuck in twenty four hours at me with his eyes. “You're in no position to judge shit, Summer. You don't know a damned thing. Growing big and strong can turn this boy into a billionaire or a fuckin' quarterback. You're acting like everything I say has the club's stamp all over it. Ain't true.”

  “How do I know it doesn't?”

  His jaw clenched, but he didn't say anything. I put my hands out, ready to take Alex again. Reluctantly, he passed him over to me, and I hugged him tight.

  “Just need to change his diaper, and then we'll be ready to go,” I said, finishing the last of my oatmeal with one hand.

  “Damned straight. You leave it to me next time, I'll cover you before we go.”

  “Really?” I said, standing up and wrinkling my nose in disbelief. “I can't believe you're so serious about this. I thought you'd leave the diapers and baths to me.”

  Joker bolted up, rooted himself to the floor, even though I knew he would've been up in my face if I wasn't holding the toddler. “He's mine, Summer. My son. My own fuckin' flesh and blood. 'Course I want to learn everything, make up for all the time I've lost thanks to you. When we get to the club, you're gonna sit down, let the kid play with my dog, and keep your fuckin' mouth shut. I'm giving you one more pass on your bullshit assumptions today – but it's the last one you get. I'm warming up the truck.”

  I stood there with my jaw hanging as he walked past, grabbed his keys off the counter, and then popped the door, letting it fall shut behind him with a thud.

  I hated being put in my place by this screwed up, cocky, bloodthirsty dick.

  I hated it even more that he blamed me for everything.

  Mostly, I just hated him for being right, and so point-blank about it that my inner bitch was screaming.

  * * *

  I kept quiet on the short ride in his truck, checking on Alex every few minutes. He sat behind us in his little seat, holding a stuffed lion, his favorite toy I'd brought along from home.

  God, home. I had about another week before the rent would slip by without getting paid. The greedy old landlord wouldn't wait more than a week after that to dump my stuff and find a new tenant.

  I'd left behind everything else. I was never going to see anything that wasn't in my purse or my car again.

  But I had Alex, we were both safe, and for now, he was all that mattered.

  At the clubhouse, we rolled through a tall metal gate guarded by two grim looking men with prospect patches. Not the same boys who'd greeted me the other day, the first time I'd tried to confront Joker, and talk some sense into him.

  “Outside,” he said, pointing to the door out back. “You can wait out there 'til I say it's time. Show Alex my dog.”

  Holding the little boy, I pushed open the screen. The big dog laying on the ground instantly perked up when he saw us. Bingo stood up, stretched, and walked over, his tongue hanging out.

  I sat down in a deck chair, Alex on my lap, stroking the dog's fur. Baby boy perked up as soon as the giant dog came over, giggling while he dug his hands into his fur.

  “Doggie! Doggie!”

  “That's right,” I said, finally allowing myself to smile, holding him closer. “You're learning so fast, honey. He's a big one, isn't he?”

  “Biiig!” Alex echoed.

  Giving in, I let myself smile, watching as he pushed his face into the dog's fur, stroking his sides. Bingo seemed just as happy, letting out a satisfied whine, his tail slapping the air.

  These moments were precious, and so rare, especially when every hour might bring hell, ending them all forever.

  I hadn't forgotten why we were here.

  Hatch was out there. Seething.

  He'd come for me – come for us, just like he'd threatened – unless the bastard who had my heart twisted in knots saved us. I hated having to depend on him, almost as much as I hated him for using me to suck his cock.

  I wasn't his fucking play thing. But I definitely wasn't his woman either, and I never would be.

  “Rowww! Rowww!” Alex interrupted my melancholy thoughts, trying to imitate the dog's sound. I made the same silly noise when I read him his stories, teaching him all about animals.

  It shouldn't bother me so damned much. Today, my son was happy and safe. He'd made a new friend to play with, judging by the way the big gray dog wagged his tail.

  So, why did I feel so lonely? Abandoned?

  Why did I want to punch myself in the face every time I let my eyes wander to Joker at breakfast, still admiring his rock hard body. The fact that he could be so gentle, so patient with Alex only made it harder to stop.

  I hugged Alex tighter, my embrace apologizing for how we'd never have a happy family. It was an illusion. I wouldn't keep him from Joker anymore, but after all of this was over, I definitely wouldn't be crawling back.

  I'd let him protect us. I'd let him catch up with his son.

  I swore I'd stand my ground. And if he ever tried to pull me into bed or put me on my knees again, I'd slap the absolute shit out of him.

  8

  Brotherhood in the Balance (Joker)

  Soon as I stepped into the meeting room for church, the air was heavy as shit. I wasn't the only one dragging myself in all pissed.

  Firefly sat next to Skin, Crawl, Sixty, and the rest of the boys, looking like a human hand grenade. He looked up when he saw me. I jerked outta my seat, plopping down before I pulled out my switchblade and shot him a look.

  “What the fuck's eating you?” I extended my blade, ready to stab that shit through my fingers, and add a few more scratches to the beat up table with the Pistols logo painted in the middle.

  “He's fuckin' my sis again,” Firefly growled, slamming his fist down. “Come on, Veep. Don't start that shit. We're all on edge today.”

  “Easy, brother,” Skin said, grabbing one of his shoulders and giving him a shake. “Already told you – Hannah's a grown woman. You can't do shit about who she drags into bed. Meg, she's dealing with the same thing all the time, watching her girls at the Heel bum around with all kinds of fuckin' scum.”

  “It ain't the fuckin' same, and you know it! Hannah's too fuckin' good for any man with the patch. She's a businesswoman, for Christ's sake. The kind who deals with a fuck of a lot more than some shit strip club here in town. Prez is fucking her like another whore to kick to the curb, if he isn't slipping his dick in her, trying to get her money. Greedy fuckin' sonofabitch.”

  Skin's face tensed, anger flashing in his eyes. “I'm gonna pretend you didn't just call my old lady a fuckin' idiot, brother. Say it again, and my fists are going in your guts.”

  Shit, this was bad. I looked up, my eyes quickly scanning the rest of the boys. Crawl sipped water from a canteen, or maybe something stronger, pushing his dark hair back, trying to pretend the shitshow a couple guys over wasn't happening. Sixty took a long drag on his cig, his goatee twitching, smart enough for once not to make any damned jokes.

  Lion, Tin, and the three new prospects we'd invited to the table sat at the end, nervously whispering to themselves, too new to lay down the law.

  Who the fuck could blame them? It was Firefly's job as Enforcer to break up fights between the brothers, but since he was in the middle of one, now that shit was up to me.

  I slammed my blade into the wood so hard the whole table shook, and left it there. Good enough to throw all their eyes on me.

  “Brother – brothers! – lay the fuck off Prez and each other. Your shit's all just personal, Firefly. You wanna hash it out with Dust in his office or some shit, whatever. You keep bad mouthing him here, in front of the whole club, we've got a fuckin' problem. One we don't need when we're supposed to be here today, talking about the op, for fuck's sake. Put a goddamned lid on it – all of you!”

  I ripped my knife out of the table and pointed at everybody there, one by one. Last tick of my
hand stopped on Firefly, who fuckin' seethed, his blue eyes rippling like raging oceans.

  Pissed as they were, everybody was also shocked. I never got this goddamned heated. Ever since Piece died, my rage came cold, went into my knife, and didn't come out 'til there was blood all over it.

  I didn't go off like this. I didn't scream.

  Except, now I fucking did. My blade's knife scorched my hand, and it was shaking. Shaking like a fuckin' leaf.

  “Veep,” Skin started, licking his lips. “What's going on, brother?”

  “Yeah, bro,” Sixty said, blowing a string of smoke. “Ain't just Firefly and Skinny boy ripping into each other's shit today. Never seen you like this.”

  Fuck. I sat there, paralyzed, knowing there was no way I could open up about Summer and the kid.

  I'd decided this morning it was strictly business. I'd tell the brothers everything I knew, but I'd treat it like one more piece of business, no different than our latest hit, or the weapons we were hauling on the next run.

  Getting emotional about this goddamned shit in front of the club wasn't a choice. No fuckin' way.

  I was about five seconds from feeding them a load about a bad hangover when Prez saved me. The door flew open, and he entered. Dust nodded to us, kicking it shut behind him with his boot.

  All the anger in the room seemed to go to him as he sat down, giving me a quick look. “We've got a lotta shit to run through today, so we're coming to order now,” he said, picking up his gavel and swinging it down hard on wood.

  “First order, I've finally talked some sense into that crazy old motherfucker out west. Blackjack and the Grizzlies are giving us some guns and some guys to kick the door down.”

  Every man in the room collectively sucked in a breath. Crawl cocked his head, cleared his throat, more calm than anybody after the shit that just went down.

  “That's good news, isn't it? More than we've been hoping for all these fucking months. But what the hell do they want in return?”

  “Thirty big in mercenary fees, plus fifty percent once we've got a solid route through Georgia. They'll be sharing that shit with the Devils, too, whenever their guys head into Dixie. So, really, we're getting our asses a solid deal with both clubs, as much as they want to claw outta us.” Dust reached for his pipe, tucked fresh tobacco into it, and gave it a light. “Obviously, we'll have ourselves a vote real soon. I'm telling you, boys, this is the shit we've been waiting for. Percentages can change over time. We need their firepower to kick the fuckin' door down, and once we're in, we're home.”