by Ali Parker
I couldn’t let myself fall for him again. It had hurt too much to walk away the first time, and the stakes were so much higher now. My number one priority was Luke. My needs, and my desires, and my ache to be filled did not outweigh the recklessness of inviting Jax back into my life.
He was in a biker gang, for crying out loud.
As we stopped in front of a sleek, black sports car, I had the suspicion he was doing pretty well for himself in said biker gang.
He opened my door for me, and I slid across the leather seat and watched him walk around the hood. He got in beside me and started the car up. The engine purred until he stepped on the gas, after which, it roared with power as we tore off down the street, the force pushing my shoulder blades flat against the back of my seat.
I let out a startled laugh.
Jax laughed right along beside me in the wild way he used to.
I should have told him to slow down. I was a mother. I had to make sure I was safe.
But the speed was like a drug to my veins that sucked out all my practical thinking and replaced it with white-hot desire.
I gnawed at my bottom lip. I needed to get out of this car before I did something I might regret.
Luckily, the speed at which Jax drove put us in front of Kim’s apartment building six minutes later. Jax pulled up to the curb, switched off the ignition, and looked lazily over at me. “Well, here we are.”
I smiled tightly and opened the door. I stepped out and nearly stumbled over the curb. I recovered as gracefully as I could manage, and when I looked up, Jax was out of the car as well. He was watching me with a smirk and had his hands in the pockets of his jeans.
“Maybe you need some help to the front door?”
Unwilling to tell him no, I took the elbow he offered me and wrapped my arm around it. He walked me up the path and to the front door, where I struggled to find my keys lost somewhere at the bottom of my purse.
“I don’t know how this always happens.” I shook my bag, hearing the telltale jingle of the keys somewhere in its depths. “It’s not even a big purse, but somehow my keys just end up—”
Jax grabbed a hold of my waist and yanked me to him.
I lost my footing and tumbled into him. His powerful arms wrapped around me and held me up as he tilted his face down to mine. Time seemed to slow down as his nose grazed mine. His lips parted just before they met mine, and all of a sudden, our mouths were pressed together, and he was kissing me with a fire that seemed to match the burning in my gut.
His hands moved up my back, his knuckles pressing gently into my spine until one hand held the back of my neck, and his fingers were tightening in my hair.
There was a soft sound between us, and I realized it had come from me. A whimper. How pathetic.
But I was powerless to it. I hadn’t been held or kissed like this in …
Since the last time Jax had me in his arms.
I grabbed hold of the front of his shirt as my knees trembled. Jax’s tongue pressed between my teeth, and he began the eager exploration of my mouth.
The hand he had on the back of my neck wandered down to my shoulder where he nudged the sleeve of my blouse down. It slipped easily, revealing a lacy white bra strap. His fingers slipped beneath it and ran over the sensitive skin there, chasing away the pressure of the bra straps.
I stretched up to my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his shoulders in the way I had been dreaming about doing since I first saw him at the bar.
His hand on my shoulder lifted to cup my cheek as our kiss became deeper. I could barely get a breath, but I didn’t feel like I needed air. All I could feel was the immense need for him. For more.
I was doing exactly what I knew I shouldn’t.
I pushed gently on his chest, and his hand fell from my cheek. Our lips parted, and as space formed between us, his eyes flicked back and forth between mine, searching for an answer as to why I made him stop.
I didn’t have an explanation for him. I wasn’t about to tell him that my son was also staying at Kim’s place.
Kent’s son.
So I looked away from him and tucked my hair behind my ears. “I should really get inside. Kim said she would wait up for me.”
Jax nodded.
I waited for him to say something, but no words came.
Reaching into my purse, I somehow found my keys on the first try. I slid them in the door and pushed it open. I turned back to him once I was inside.
“Thank you for tonight. I had a great time. Really.”
“Me too.”
Closing the front glass door was like pulling teeth. But I managed, and I watched Jax walk back to his car with his hands back in his pockets.
Before pulling away from the curb, he waved at me, and I waved back, the burning in my stomach morphing into something less pleasant. Regret.
I went to the elevator and pulled my blouse back up on my shoulder as I waited for it to arrive.
Chapter 9
Jax
The following morning brought with it the torture of a hard-on and thoughts of kissing Holly on the threshold of Kim’s apartment building.
I ran my hands over my face and groaned as I remembered the way her hands had tightened on my shirt. I could still taste the lime on her tongue from her drinks and hear that soft little whimper she had made in my mouth.
The drive home after dropping her off had been confusing. I wasn’t sure why she had sent me away. Everything had been moving along nicely, and the way the air seemed to buzz with electricity when I kissed her had me convinced that she wanted me as badly as I wanted her.
Maybe I’d misread the situation.
“You never misread a woman,” I muttered to myself. Maybe she was the one who didn’t know what she wanted. She had just started a new life, after all, and had been with the same man for a long time. I couldn’t even begin to understand her side of things.
But I could understand mine. I wanted her more than I had ever wanted anyone.
I wanted to lay her down and fuck her right then. I wanted her legs to tremble as she screamed my name while I drank from her and reminded her what it was like to be with me.
She was delusional if she thought I wasn’t going to keep trying. It had taken me a long time to get over her the first time I let her get away. There was no fucking way in hell I was going to put myself through that shit again.
I’d fucked enough girls. I’d had my fun. And truth be told, it had stopped being fun a long time ago. I was envious of Ryder and Dani and Axel and Ellie. I wanted that, and the only person I could ever see myself coming home to every single day was Holly. It had always been Holly.
I lay in bed staring at my ceiling for another couple of minutes, hoping my erection would go away of its own accord and I could get on with my day without tempting my fate with a case of blue balls.
It wasn’t going to happen.
“Fuck it,” I grumbled, ripping the covers off and swinging my legs over the bed. I had time before I needed to be at the shop. I started the shower, and when the water was piping hot, I got in.
As the water rained over my shoulder and back, I wrapped my fingers around my cock and closed my eyes to think of Holly.
At first, all I pictured was her in the jeans she was wearing last night. Then, I imagined undoing them, nice and slow, and shimmying them down her hips and thighs before finally pulling them off her ankles.
The vision of her naked body had me hunched over and breathing hard as I worked myself over. The steam and the hot water had my mind conjuring up flashes of fucking Holly in the shower. I wanted to bend her over, spread her open, and slide my length deep inside her until she moaned and came all over me. If she was still the same girl I had ravaged six years ago, she would want the same things.
I came hard and fast, and my body sang with the release of it.
I finished my shower, skipped breakfast with hopes that Ellie would have some food at the shop, and dressed in my usual jeans and T-shirt. Then,
I hopped on my bike and rode to work with my mind still a jumbled-up mess over how last night had ended.
“You are an absolute goddess,” I said, taking a bag from Ellie. I tore it open and peered inside to find a bagel with cream cheese. Ellie handed me a cup of coffee and smiled smugly as I took a mouthful. “An absolute fucking goddess. I’m starved.”
“Starved why? Your date go well last night?” Ellie thrust her hips back and forth and laughed as I widened my eyes. “What?”
“Don’t do that. It’s unsettling in so many ways.”
“What, this?” Ellie teased, thrusting her hips again.
“Yeah. That. Quit it.”
“Only if you tell me how it went last night.” Ellie leaned against the shop wall, sipped on her own coffee and waited patiently for my answer.
As I was about to tell her, the door to the office burst open and Jamie emerged, a coffee of her own in one hand and a half-eaten bagel in the other. Her mouth was full, but she gave me a smile anyway, which showcased white teeth covered in poppy seeds from her meal. I rolled my eyes at her as she joined Ellie against the wall.
“Come on, Hollywood. Spill the details.”
Ellie, like a lot of the other guys in the MC, still liked to occasionally call me Hollywood. It was a nickname I had earned due to my old business in New York City, which I had sold when Axel needed more help in the shop after deciding to take more time off to spend with his family. I’d traded in my suits and ties for denim and leather and hadn’t looked back.
Jamie swallowed and waggled her eyebrows. “Yeah. Spill.”
“It’s not all that exciting.” I took a bite of my bagel and shrugged my shoulders. “Just two old friends catching up over drinks. Not sure what the two of you gossips were expecting.”
Ellie smiled coyly. “Huh. Sounds to me like somebody didn’t get laid. That’s a first for you.”
“Ever think maybe I didn’t try to have sex with her?”
Ellie barked out a sharp laugh. “Oh, please. You? Not try to have sex? That’s just ridiculous. Neither of us is buying it.” She pointed her thumb at her chest and then at Jamie. “Did you say something that pissed her off?”
“What? No.” I crammed more of the bagel in my mouth, swallowed, and looked Ellie in the eye. “She blew me off, okay?”
“Really?” Ellie asked.
I hated how impressed she sounded.
“Really. I drove her home and made my move at the end of the night. At first, it was well received. Things were going really well, and right before we had a chance to get serious, she stopped. Said she had to go.” I sipped more coffee. “I think I pushed her too fast. She’s always been the kind of girl who needs to think things through. Not crazy impulsive.”
“So the opposite of the girls you usually hang around with?”
“Exactly.” I grinned.
“I always liked Holly.” Jamie pushed herself off the wall and dropped her now empty coffee cup into the garbage can. “She was nice.”
“You were what, ten the last time you saw her?” I teased.
“So?”
“Nothing.”
“Point is she’s nice. Maybe she’s intimidated by you.”
“Shut up.” I laughed. “She wouldn’t be. She knows me. We’re friends.”
“Jamie might have a point,” Ellie agreed.
“Oh, come off it. Holly isn’t intimidated by me. Trust me. That would be like you being afraid of me, Ellie.”
“You’re right. It sounds stupid when you put it like that.” Ellie crossed her arms under her breasts. “I could never be afraid of a pussy like you.”
“Why do I keep coming here?” I asked.
“You like the abuse. You know it.” Ellie nodded at the other half of my bagel still in the bag in my hand. “Hurry up and eat. We have a lot of work to do today. We’re still playing catch up, remember?”
“How could I forget?” I groaned as I hurried to finish my food and join Ellie as she started working on a new shipment of motorcycles.
After we’d worked half the day away, Axel arrived at the shop. He had Hanna with him, and the little girl came racing through the shop to leap into Ellie’s arms. Ellie made a big deal of seeing the little girl, tickling and teasing her, and then putting her down in front of one of the Harleys we had just finished.
Axel came and stood beside me as Ellie told Hanna about the first time she rode a motorcycle. Hanna, being barely four, listened in awe despite probably only understanding half of what was being said.
“So.” Axel shot me a look, and I already knew what he was going to ask. “How’d it go with Holly last night?”
“Why is everyone so damn curious about my dating life all of a sudden?”
“That bad, hey?”
“Get bent.”
Axel chuckled and crossed his arms. “So sensitive this morning.” I muttered under my breath about how I needed to get a new job and get the fuck away from these losers, but Axel pretended not to hear. Instead, he kept prying. “I was sure you’d both have a great time.”
“We did have a great time. It was like nothing had changed between us.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“There isn’t a problem.”
“She didn’t put out, huh?”
I threw my hands in the air. “Is it written on my fucking forehead or something?”
Axel looked confused.
“Ellie and Jamie—whatever. Never mind.” I rested my hip against the workbench and hooked my thumbs in the belt loops of my jeans. “It doesn’t matter that we didn’t have sex. That wasn’t the whole point of taking her out. I just wanted to spend time with her. See if she’d changed.”
“And?”
“She’s still the same old Holly. Sweet as honey. Hot as hell. Still too good for my ass.”
Axel slapped my shoulder. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. She’s not too good for you. She was too good for Kent. But you?” He clicked his tongue. “I don’t know, man. I’ve thought the two of you would make a perfect pair for a long time.”
I wanted to say “me, too,” but held my tongue.
Axel grabbed a rag from the workbench at our backs and flicked it over his shoulder. “I’m going to get to work.”
“Yeah, yeah, me too.”
As I went to return to my work, Jamie called me into the office. I stepped in, and she pointed at a manila envelope on the counter in front of her computer. “It was here when I came back in from having coffee with you guys. I don’t know who it’s for, so I thought I’d see if you knew about it?”
“No, I haven’t.” I grabbed the envelope and tore it open.
Inside were black and white printed photographs. I pulled them free, wondering if they were shots of a potential project for our shop. A lot of our customers had custom requests and would submit images of what they wanted their car or bike to look like. It was especially helpful for paint jobs or custom bodywork.
But these photos weren’t of vehicles.
I found myself scowling down at a black and white picture of Axel with Hanna and Ellie in Cliff Park, a small park not even ten minutes away from where we stood now. Hanna was wearing her hair in pigtails and was on the swing. Ellie was pushing her while Axel watched on. The picture had been taken from behind him.
The next shot was of Dani in her cruiser laughing while she talked on her cell phone.
My heart was hammering in my chest now, and my blood was rushing in my ears. Jamie was silent as she peered over my shoulder down at the photos. I could feel the nervousness coming from her as I turned to the next image.
Sabian smoking a cigarette outside the bar.
Next.
A gathering of a few guys all wearing our MC colors.
Next.
Jamie and Ellie sitting on a patio at a coffee shop, leaning across the table probably deep in gossip.
Jamie looked up at me. “Jax?” she whispered tentatively. “What is this?”
Next.
&nbs
p; Me walking from my bike to the open bay doors of the shop.
“Fuck.” The growl came out of me, and Jamie took a step back.
The last thing in the envelope was a folded up piece of lined paper. Neatly written smack in the middle of the page in thick, black felt, was a simple message:
“Let’s get personal,
-TJ”
“Jax?” Jamie whispered, her hand closing on my elbow. “What’s this about? Who sent this? Are you in trouble?”
I shrugged her off. “No. Don’t say anything about this, all right? It stays between us for now. Give me a minute. I have to call Ryder.”
“Okay,” she said before retreating back into the shop.
I called Ryder. He didn’t answer. It was midday, and I didn’t give a damn if I had to call him a hundred times before he picked up.
He needed to know the truce was over and that the Black Hearts had made their first move.
The only good news?
We had the initials of the new Black Hearts leader, TJ.
Chapter 10
Holly
I sighed as I dropped the spaghetti noodles into the pot of boiling water. I stirred it to make sure all the noodles were submerged and then lifted the lid on the other pot that held the sauce. The whole kitchen was filled with the rich smell of tomatoes and meat. I gave it a quick stir and covered it to let it simmer longer.
My attention was only partially held by cooking. Every second thought was of Jax and our date. To be more specific, every second thought was of our steamy make-out session at the end of our date. My whole shift at The Roost yesterday had been spent thinking of Jax and resenting it because I had to work with wet panties and an ache below my belly that just wouldn’t go away.
My coworkers noticed how distracted I was. Claire made a point to warn me that Talon had noticed, too, and was keeping a sharp eye on me for the rest of my shift. This only made me more tense, and I had shot him dirty looks every time I caught him staring at me.
Resenting Talon had worked to keep my mind off Jax for a time, but eventually, the memory of our kiss came rushing back, and I let it wash over me.