I follow her tour for the next half hour, a constant struggle to keep my mind on what she’s saying. It’s distracting that she loves her job as much as this. To me that always makes a person far more attractive, when they’re living their dream. The dark cloud of denial isn’t on them. Their eyes shine as they are meant to.
“Not many bathrooms here,” I notice aloud.
She laces her fingers together. “True. There are only four in addition to the master bath, plus a half one beside the kitchen, which I’ll take you to next. Is that a problem?”
Biting my lips I think on it. “It’s something to note.”
“Of course,” she smiles.
Our comfortable gazes hold, and the comfort vanishes. Suddenly her chest lifts with a forced breath and she turns on her heel like she was about to throw herself into my arms and had to stop herself.
I pace up here, alone, to get a hold of myself, because normally when I want to kiss someone I fucking do it. This is madness.
Emma’s waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs, jaw tight and smile fake. “Everything okay?”
She knows it’s a loaded question, but I’ll play along. “Perfectly. Let’s see this kitchen I’ve heard so much about.”
She eyes me, not sure if I’m making fun of her. Deciding against calling me out on it, she announces, “The refrigerator is industrial sized, but the stove needs to be replaced, in my opinion. It hasn’t been changed in decades and doesn’t match the décor. So if you decide you love this property I know we could talk them down in price for that, and for the basement. It doubles as a game room but isn’t up to code.”
“Really?” I mutter, mesmerized by her ass ticking from side to side. “We’ll have to do something about that.”
Emma glances back and catches me. Her cheeks fill with color, driving me crazy. She motions to the stove, stuttering slightly. “Here…here it is.”
“This is larger than the last kitchen,” I notice.
“Yes.” She touches a countertop and quietly smiles, “Not that size matters.”
I cut a glance to her. “Just so we’re clear, it’s large.”
“The kitchen?”
“No, not the kitchen.” I slip my hands into my pockets to hide my growing tent.
Emma glances down but I can tell she tried not to. Our eyes lock. Her eyelids get heavier. It seems she’s about to take a step closer, but thinks better of it.
She walks into a hall toward staff bedrooms, and I follow. “This home is more modern so that might meet your needs.”
The first is a bedroom that is ill-furnished compared to the rest of the mansion. There’s nothing interesting to point out, so she waits for me to observe the space and we head to the next. In there, too, is an unimpressive set-up. Barely any light due to the lack of windows, same as the last. Emma waits for me to look around and we head to the final room.
There I muse, “Apparently they don’t think much of the help.”
Emma’s chest deflates in agreement but she’s not allowed to say anything bad about them, per professional rules of etiquette. I however fall under no such restrictions.
So I roll my eyes and mutter, “Assholes. They deserve to have this sit on the market. Make them squirm while they lose money. There isn’t even a tub in the bathroom their staff has to share with the guests. Where do they keep their toiletries, in humiliating travel bags, brought with them every morning and night? That would be the first thing I would change, not the stove.”
Emma watches me leave, a glint of respect lighting her eyes. “I’ll show you the game room, Mr. Hamilton. There’s also a lovely wine cellar.”
I pause to let her go ahead of me. “Lead the way.”
Chapter 14
EMMA
He doesn’t approve of the wine cellar, finds it too small.
Even when he hasn’t voiced an opinion, Tanner’s facial expressions are as open as if he had. I’ve learned he loves to hear about practical things – the double-paned glass, water pressure, effectiveness of the current solar paneling – and that’s why I make sure to brush up on my memorization of those qualities before each business day of tours with him begins. Although this morning it was hard to think of anything except being alone with him.
I keep looking for something to dislike again, like I did at our first meeting and for most of the days afterward. But I very much approve of his taste in general. I like reading his face and detecting how he really feels about these homes. When he became disgusted with the staff quarters, my admiration soared rather than fizzled out.
Aunt Rachel called him ruthless, and he might be. He’s definitely shrewd, but would a ruthless man care about those rooms?
I don’t think so.
“What are you thinking about?” Tanner asks, a sea of wine bottles shelved behind his perfectly tailored suit.
Embarrassed I smile, “Oh, nothing. I guess I daydreamed for a moment.”
“You have a little dust bunny here.” He reaches out and gently lifts something from my cheek, showing it to me.
Wiping my face out of reflex I tease, “Sounds funny hearing you say dust bunny.”
His forehead crinkles with amused curiosity. “Why’s that?”
“I don’t know, you’re just so…stuffy.”
A loud laugh explodes from his lungs and he rakes his hair. “I think you mean sophisticated and proper.”
“No, I mean stuffy,” I insist, secretly loving his smile and the sound of that surprising laugh.
He chuckles, struggling to regain his lost composure. “Stuffy…never been called that before.”
“To your face maybe.”
He laughs again, shoulders shaking and teeth dazzling-white. “Emma, you’re too much.” Our eyes lock and something shifts in his stare. A few times I’ve felt this intense chemistry between us today, and each time I walked away.
But I don’t move this time.
His thick eyelashes narrow as he decides how to play this. He walks closer, gazing into my eyes and searching for the answer. Should I kiss you, he seems to be asking himself. I stay right where I am, holding my breath. The seconds pass with neither of us making a move. His lips part. I stare at them. He licks them and I begin to pulse. He steps back and walks away, running a hand through his hair.
Are his fingers shaking?
They are!
I almost ask why he didn’t follow his instincts but something in mine tells me that’s not a smart move. He’s older than anyone I’ve dated or even been attracted to. It all feels forbidden for the obvious reasons and the not so obvious, too.
“I have that appointment to make,” he grates, waiting for me to join him. I reach the stairs and he goes ahead of me. He pauses, realizing it’s rude, and flattens his body to the wall. “Ladies first, Emma.”
I pause on the same step as he, turning my head to turn up the heat before I turn off the lights. His nostrils flare and his eyes have promises of orgasms. God, I want to touch him so badly, my fingers actually float toward him without my consent. I make a fist and look away, walking up.
The impending separation is weighing on me. I’d booked him for the entire morning and had hoped that might turn into lunch, which was silly of me. Trouble is that silliness leads to disappointment. The rest of my Saturday will be spent thinking of him, I know it.
“It’s a pity we couldn’t see the backyard this time, what with time running out.”
He glances to his car like he wants to be in it, and away from me. “I don’t plan on buying this property.”
“When can I show you another?”
His lips go thin like Andy’s did. It strikes me for the first time that I’m in Andy’s shoes right now. I want more than someone wants to give me. The thought is sickening so I start walking to my car, saying in an off-handed way, “I can see your schedule is grueling so I won’t pressure you into anything.”
“Tomorrow I’m free from ten until eleven o’clock only. Take it or leave it.”
My h
eart pounds as I pause and meet his eyes. “I’m in church at that time tomorrow.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I’m not. It’s Sunday and I will be at church.”
Tanner’s eyebrows rise and he holds back his surprise, poorly. “What faith?”
“Catholic.”
He nods, hand sliding in his pocket as his phone vibrates. I expect him to answer it, but he doesn’t. “All of you practicing?”
“No, not all. Most aren’t. But I started going to church on my own not too long ago.”
“Why?”
With impatience I puff my chest. “None of your business, Mr. Hamilton.”
His eyes narrow at the challenge. “I want to know.”
“And?”
“And I want you to tell me.”
Chuckling like he’s crazy, I walk away and call over my shoulder, “It’s good to want things. Keeps things interesting.”
When I get in my convertible I pull my hair into a high bun to avoid knots, because I plan to go very fast and burn emotional steam. It’s so hard not to look over but I can’t help noticing from my peripheral vision that he hasn’t moved.
I meet his concentrating stare.
He’s trying to figure me out.
Turning up the radio, my cousin Gabriel’s song comes on. Oh dammit! I was supposed to be at his concert last night! Totally forgot about it, how is that possible? He rarely has them in town and he’s going to Canada next. Dammit, I’m such a jerk.
I turn the volume to very, very loud.
Tanner is still watching me.
“Goodbye Mr. Hamilton. Don’t be late for that appointment you have waiting for you.”
I drive away.
Chapter 15
TANNER
Pulling out my phone I call Dan. Before he speaks I tell him, “Wait an hour, then phone Emma for an appointment tomorrow, Sunday, after 2:00 P.M. to see the properties.”
“I thought you were slated to see them all today.”
“Something came up,” I mutter, staring after her car.
“So now you’re playing the wait-an-hour game like a high-schooler?”
“If I wanted a mirror up to my face I’d look at one!”
“Sorry,” he mutters, writing it down, “Wait an hour then…”
“Dan! You can’t write without reading it aloud?” He goes silent and I mutter to myself, “I didn’t even put two-and-two together that her cousin is the rockstar Gabriel Cocker. Is Jake his father, too?”
“Let me check.” After a pause, Dan says, “No, his father is the ex-Senator, Justin Cocker. But Jake Cocker does have two sons in addition to his daughter. One is a patented computer technology genius. Says he invented something to do with improving national security. And the other—hang on while I search it—ah, here it is! His other son, Eric, is quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons.”
“Jeezus,” I growl, rubbing my face. “That cocky motherfucker outdid himself in the gene pool. Bet it made Jake’s head even bigger. And I probably should watch sports more.”
“I always invite you to the 49ers games.”
“Why would I go?”
“Because they’re your home team. You own box seats.”
Snorting I shake my head. “To give them away as gifts for business relations. Men jump at them. I don’t have time or interest to watch grown men fighting over an inflated hunk of cowhide.”
Chuckling, Dan can’t stop himself from reminding me, “You don’t like it because you never learned the game.”
“I’ve been too busy making you a wealthy man. Now call Emma.”
“You said wait an hour.”
“Dammit, don’t call her yet!” I hang up, knowing he’s grinning on the other end of the line. “I need to stop being so nice to him,” I mutter while mulling over her family.
“Why did I never learn the rules of football?”
My sister sighs through the phone, voice so clear she might as well be right next to me and not all the way in California. “You were too busy taking over the world.”
Driving around the neighborhood for the fifth time I couldn’t take not knowing anymore. So I called her for answers. “Jen, seriously. How come I never did?”
“I don’t know, Tanner. What made you think of it?”
“Just answer the question.” At her silence, I give a more gentle, “Please.”
She laughs, “That’s better, you big bear. Dad was always working. He was a lot like you. I can’t remember him once throwing a ball to you in the backyard. When was he supposed to teach you, between driving the bus in the daytimes and janitorial work at night? He was exhausted by the time he came home. And then you grew up and didn’t want to be poor anymore, so you focused solely on learning about acquisitions, working day and night, too. You were never at home or spending time together. And then his heart attack…” she trails off.
Driving up an unfamiliar street with no place to go I say, “Yeah, I guess it’s really that simple.”
“Why the interest in football all of a sudden? Are you thinking of buying a team.”
“I could buy one, but no, smartass, there’s no interest. Someone’s brother is on an NFL team, and I realized… You know what, never mind.”
“Ryder’s graduation ceremony went well. Thank you for your gift. He loved it.”
Sun splashes my windshield through rows of trees on either side as I exhale guilt and tell her, “I wish I’d been there.”
Jen’s voice goes gentle. “Me too. But it’s okay. Where are you now? Holland? Russia?”
I chuckle, “I’m at the North Pole and Santa says hello.”
“Did you give him a car, too?”
My smile freezes, replaced by a frown. “Are you angry I got him one?”
Longer pause this time, which doesn’t bode well.
She sighs, “I just want him to work for these things, Tanner. You had to work for what you got and it gave you strong character. The world isn’t easy and giving him a free car won’t help him know the value of earning his first one. I know you don’t see it that way.”
Defensively I argue, “Hey I was just…”
“Feeling guilty about not being there and overcompensating, I know.”
Pulling to the side of the road so I can talk about this with a clear and focused mind, I tell my only sibling, “Jennifer, why am I just now hearing about this, and passively aggressive to boot. If you felt that way, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t know you were going to buy it!”
“I did, too…I…”
She waits while I search my memory, finally interrupting, “You didn’t tell me, Tanner. You didn’t have Dan call me either. It just showed up one day with a bow on it. How awful a person would I be if I called and bitched you out for such a generous thing, after the fact? But it bothered me. You know nothing about parenting. I don’t mean that as an insult, it’s just a fact. But I am teaching my son, on my own, how to be a man who gives back to society. That’s really all a parent can do, train their child to be a functioning and happy member of the human race. You respect yourself so much, and I want that for Ryder, too. He has to earn his way.”
My spine bends into the seat as guilt takes hold. “Shit. You’re right. I’m sorry.”
She sighs, “Sometimes, Tanner, I wish you were a jerk. But here you go again, admitting when you’re wrong and now I can’t be angry with you.”
This makes a laugh explode from my chest. “You’re the only person who doesn’t think I’m a jerk.”
“I’m sure that’s not true. You’re just driven. I know Dan thinks the world of you. Every time he calls me he’s got such pride in his voice that he’s your right-hand man.”
“I don’t want to talk about Dan,” I mutter, not good at taking compliments. “Jen, I’m sorry about the car. And about missing his graduation ceremony. I’m in Atlanta right now but when I get back to San Francisco how about the three of us charter a boat for a day on the bay, just like we us
ed to do when Mom and Dad were alive.”
“Really?” She sounds like years just fell off her shoulders. “I’d love that! You promise?”
“Promise. I love you.”
“Love you, too, Tanner. Bye. Oh, I can’t wait to tell Ryder!” The line goes dead.
Chapter 16
TANNER
I get so distracted by my ambitions. Seems the further along in years I get the more apparent it becomes that I need to connect with people more deeply.
I’m an expert with money.
People are hard.
They have feelings.
I prefer keeping mine locked up.
As I walk into the hotel I stroll directly to the front desk. The clerk glances up and a professional smile appears. “Happy Saturday, Mr. Hamilton. Can I help you with something?”
“No, everything is fine. I just wanted to tell you that my maid does an excellent job. I’m not sure if it’s one or many working together, but every time I return I’m always very pleased with how my room looks and feels.”
Her eyebrows lift and the smile fills with happiness. “We have a team per floor. I will let them know you said so.”
“Please tell your management staff I said so, as well.”
“I will, sir, thank you!”
“And what is your name?”
“Taylor.”
“I always walk by, and you always wave, but I’ve never asked your name. I’m sorry about that.”
Tapping the desk I stroll away, sliding my hand in my pocket and heading for the bar. As modern barstools and a male bartender shining a wine glass comes into view I think better of it and head for the elevator.
I’m glad Dan has Emma’s number and I don’t. But if I called him when buzzed or drunk, I might force it out of him. I don’t want to lose the upper hand here. She has no idea the effect she’s having on me. I need to keep it that way.
Walking into my suite I find it pristine, as usual, and toss the Maserati’s key fob, and room’s plastic card, on an accent table by the door.
Cocky Love: Emma Cocker (Cocker Brothers of Atlanta Book 11) Page 6