Or the butterflies it let loose in my belly.
After class Tobias threaded his fingers through mine and he walked me to biology. That was when the giddiness was taken over by the nervousness as our classmates started to take notice of us. I squirmed, hating that feeling of being under a microscope. For most of my life I’d gotten by under the radar. The only time I’d been caught like a bug under a glass had been when Heather set out to make my life miserable. Thankfully, it hadn’t lasted long, but for those few months I’d dreaded school.
I received another sweet kiss on the lips before he left me in the doorway to biology and I almost walked into the doorjamb as I dreamily turned from watching him stride off. Hoping my cheeks weren’t blazing, I hurried to my pod and got out my jotters.
“Psst.”
“Psst!”
I frowned and glanced over my shoulder in the direction of the noise.
Jayla Hancock, a girl in the year above me, was staring at me incredulously. “Are you and Tobias King...like...dating? For real?”
Jayla Hancock had never paid me one whit of attention until now. She was best friends with Jess Reed.
Oh dear.
I nodded stiffly, returning my gaze to my books, but not before I caught her stunned expression and the gasp of surprise from the girls at her pod.
Their scandalized whispering made me want to dive under the counter and hide.
“Really?”
I looked up at my neighbor, Wendy Shen. Wendy and I were perfect pod buddies. We both talked very little and we took our schooling very seriously. “Excuse me?”
“You’re going out with King?”
I was shocked she even knew who he was, let alone seemed delighted at the prospect of my dating him. “Yes.”
Wendy grinned, her dark eyes bright. “Nice one. He’s hot.”
Her comment was so unexpected that I burst into laughter. Holy crap. You would have thought I’d just started dating a famous person!
* * *
The battle with myself to see the funny side of everyone gossiping about me and Tobias lost ground as I walked to the library for my free period. I’d dawdled a little in the girls’ bathroom before it, so by the time I’d started making my way there the halls had emptied out again.
When I saw Stevie turn the corner at the bottom of the corridor I was walking down, my steps faltered. It was different seeing him now, for many reasons, one of which was not having Tobias at my side.
Stevie froze for a second when he saw me and then he started to stride with determination toward me. For some reason a flash of warning heat scored up the back of my neck and I gasped as suddenly Stevie put his bruised face inches from mine.
Angry green eyes burned. “Ye tell anyone whit I said aboot ma mum or dad or any o’ the shit I spewed when I thought ye were ma pal, ye’ll regret it. Alana and the lasses want tae gun for ye. Dinnae give them a reason.”
I was so in shock by the sudden threat I just stared at him.
He pushed me back into the wall and slammed the space above my head with the palm of his hand, making me flinch in fear. “Understood?”
I nodded quickly, my breathing becoming rapid, wondering how things had escalated so badly in the wrong direction between us. “Stevie—”
“Just keep yer mouth shut. Ye’ve done enough. Ever since King started being friends with ye everything got screwed. They moved oot. Mum got sick. And now ma best pal has deserted me. Aw fur you.” He gave me a look of disgust and then pushed away from me. My body shuddered as I struggled to get my breathing back to normal.
Stevie’s eyes flickered over me, the anger in them seeming to waver for a moment. He screwed up his face and scrubbed a hand over his head. “Fuck!” he bit out as he hurried away from me.
I glanced either way down the hall but there was no one there to witness what had happened. Trembling, jittery, feeling sick to my stomach, I hurried toward the library and to the safety of others. Stevie was... That hadn’t been my friend back there. My friend would never have frightened me like that.
He needed help.
But if I told anyone, an adult, Stevie would end up in so much trouble and with his mother being sick, it was the last thing that family needed. I didn’t know what to do.
There was no way I was telling Tobias.
Tobias would more than likely punch him for frightening me like that.
Plus there was the fact that Alana Miller would come after me if I told on Stevie. She and Stevie had something casual but long-term going on between them. She was a scrappy girl, always on the defensive about something. I knew two of her brothers were in prison, and the entire family had a reputation in town for being aggressive and dangerous. They were constantly in fights with other families. She was raised rough and tough and didn’t seem to know any other way. Since the school year had begun, I knew of at least two physical fights she’d gotten into. One of them was with a boy.
So even though I stewed over Stevie and fought with myself on what to do, I didn’t mention our encounter to Tobias in English class. It was easy to let it slide to the back of my mind, because by fourth period everyone was buzzing about us dating.
Tobias held my hand under the table as people shouted harmless, teasing taunts across the classroom. My neck was on fire under the heated stares in the room. Tobias rolled his eyes when someone shouted, “We hope you’re treating her right fine and good, Mr. King,” in a fake Southern accent.
“You okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine.”
“You sure?” His eyes were bright with mirth. “Because you’re stopping the flow of blood in my hand.”
I immediately released my tight hold on him and gave him a sheepish, apologetic look.
“What is all the excitement about?” Mr. Stone said loudly as he walked into the class. “I could hear you from the other end of the corridor.”
Tension glued me to my chair like a tongue to an overfrosted ice lolly. Please, no one say anything, please, please.
As if they heard my inner prayer, my classmates did me the courtesy of not embarrassing me in front of my favorite teacher. It might have seemed silly, considering how proud I really was to be holding Tobias’s hand, but I wanted Mr. Stone to always see me as the girl who was dedicated to his class. If he found out everyone was gossiping about me and Tobias, I’d seem like just another silly teenager.
I thought we were home free when the bell rang for the end of English but after I’d put all my stuff into my bag, Tobias took my hand. It turned out making sure he knew I was proud to be his girl trumped impressing my favorite teacher, because at that instant, standing in front of Mr. Stone, I made the decision to clasp Tobias’s hand tight.
Sneaking a peek at Mr. Stone as we walked away, I saw him frowning at our hands.
I sighed inwardly.
Over time he’d come to realize Tobias was smart, and that there was so much more to him than a mouthy, angry teenager. I suspected Mr. Stone was getting there already, but he didn’t know that Tobias was grieving. If he thought I was a fool for dating “bad boy” King then...well, truthfully, that would suck, but I’d deal with it.
We were almost out of the door when Heather McAlister suddenly blocked our way. She curled her lip in disgust at me before turning to Tobias. “Her? Really?”
I felt my boyfriend tense but before he could even say a word, Vicki shoved her way between us. “Comet isn’t to blame for everything that goes wrong in your life, Heather. So...shoo.” She gestured for her to leave, like she was an unwanted bug at our friendship picnic.
I smiled gratefully at the back of my best friend’s head.
She was my favorite.
Clearly stumped for a comeback, Heather stormed away.
“Nice.” Steph threw her arm around Vicki.
“Agreed.” Tobias nodded in approval.
Vicki glowed under our praise. “No one messes with my Comet.”
“Heather’s just jealous.” Steph threw Tobias a look over her shoulder. There was a look of longing in her eyes that bothered me. Steph wasn’t interested in Tobias for who he was—she loved how much attention he got. She wanted a piece of it.
A streak of possessiveness coursed through me, surprising me. I tightened my hold on Tobias’s hand and glared at the back of my other friend’s head.
Two seconds later I was berating myself for it.
Steph loved being center of attention, but she would eventually be happy for me. It would just take her a little longer than Vicki. Once people stopped speculating and putting Tobias and me under the spotlight, Steph would think nothing of us.
However, it was too early for that, which I realized as soon as we walked into the school cafeteria. It was a place where people usually paid little attention to anything that was going on beyond their own group of friends.
Today they noticed.
It would appear that students of all ages had heard the news that King was going out with Comet Caldwell, of all people. Most had probably had no idea ’til now who I was. The staring made me feel paranoid, the noise level seeming to rise when Tobias sat with me and my girls instead of heading over to Stevie and his crew.
And that was when everything took a turn for the worse.
“Oy, too good for us now, King!” Forrester shouted, drawing everyone’s attention.
“Ignore him,” I said.
“I’m going to.” Tobias bit into his burger, staring straight ahead.
I exchanged worried looks with Vicki and Steph.
“Tapping virgin arse doesnae make ye God, King!” Jimmy shouted and the group of them laughed.
Wanting to die I ducked my head against Tobias’s shoulder, to hide, but also to murmur, “Don’t,” when I saw him shift in his seat. The muscle in his jaw popped but he nodded reluctantly.
But the mocking continued as one of them affected a posh feminine voice, “Ooh, Tobias, you’ll need to brush the cobwebs from my vagina before you stick anything in there!”
My hand clamped down hard on Tobias’s thigh as stifled laughter muffled in ripples across the room. His muscle was hard underneath my hand, and I could feel the heat of anger emanating off him. I was angry, too. Mortified. Seething! However, I refused to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing me walk out of that cafeteria.
“Oy, Comet! When yer done wi’ him, give me a call and I’ll show ye whit a real man can do between yer legs!”
I shot a glare over my shoulder, searching out Stevie.
Our eyes met as more degrading comments were thrown our way by his friends.
Finally, after what felt like forever, he looked away and said something to the group that made them laugh at us. I tensed, waiting for more barbs to come, but their eyes flew over my head and I turned to see assistant rector Mrs. Penman striding through the cafeteria. She stopped, staring at Stevie and his boys. “Word has reached me that verbal filth is being thrown around the cafeteria,” her voice boomed around the room with authority. “This is your one and only warning. I hear of it again and it’s a three-day suspension for all those involved.”
Quiet descended on the room and then she turned on her heel and left. Not a minute later a disgruntled-looking sociology teacher entered the cafeteria and began to patrol.
Tobias finally turned to look at me. Guilt shone out of his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Horrified that he should blame himself, I slid my arm around his shoulders and crowded into him, not caring what anyone thought. “Don’t. Stevie’s just acting out.”
“Why is Stevie acting out?” Steph asked curiously. “And what happened to his face?”
“Well...” I didn’t feel it was my place to explain all of the crap going on in Stevie’s life and why he now saw us as traitors, but she knew about the cocaine so... “I think he got in a fight. And after what we saw at Dean’s party... Tobias and I are keeping our distance from him. He won’t stop hanging out with those guys so we can’t be involved with him.”
“Good.” Steph nodded. “I was really worried you were getting in with the wrong crowd, there, Com. No offense,” she said to Tobias.
He barely acknowledged her. Instead he stared into my eyes, anger pushing through the guilt. “It doesn’t give him the right to set those guys on us. On you.”
“It’s just the first day since the bust up. He’ll get bored and leave us alone,” I reassured him, hoping against hope that I was right.
THE FRAGILE ORDINARYSAMANTHA YOUNG
18
If only there was a button she could push,
And suddenly she’d be covered in armor.
Her skin protected from your ambush,
Your bullet-shaped words couldn’t harm her.
—CC
It was a particularly cold late November morning. The trees were nearly bare and glittered with frost. The sea was a dull gray, choppy and uninviting today, making me shiver as I passed by then strode away from the quiet beach through town. I’d sacrificed my head in the name of fashion, wearing a purple woolen headband that just covered the tips of my ears. A woolen flower shot through with silver was attached to the right side of the headband near my temple. I wore matching purple gloves, my turquoise coat and purple ankle boots. I was thinking about Stevie, warring between guilt for taking Tobias from him and fear that he and his friends would continue to make our lives miserable. The boy I knew wouldn’t do that to us, but I hadn’t recognized him in the one who’d confronted me in the hall the day before. Still I held on to my hope.
It turned out hoping Stevie and his crew would grow bored was wishful thinking.
“Oy! Slut!” I heard someone behind me yell.
Of course, I was the farthest thing from a slut so I ignored it, assuming some girl was calling after her friend in that insulting fashion that had become so popular lately. Like for instance the time Steph greeted Vicki and me in the cafeteria with, “Hey, bitches,” and I got up and left the table in protest.
“Dinnae ignore us, slut!”
Well, that didn’t sound friendly at all.
I glanced over my shoulder and almost tripped at the sight of Alana Miller and three of her friends hurrying along the pavement behind me.
“Aye, you!” She pointed at me, her pretty face scrunched up in aggression. “Think yer something ’cause King’s goin’ oot wi’ ye? Yer just the sad wee geek ye were yesterday.”
Whipping back around, I picked up pace.
“Dinnae ignore us, bitch!” one of the other girls shouted.
And yet, despite trembling from head to foot at their intentions, I was going to ignore them, hoping they wouldn’t make it impossible. In other words, hoping to God they weren’t going to make this physical. I wouldn’t put the possibility past Alana.
Adrenaline pumping, I marched toward the school.
Why had Stevie set her on me? I hadn’t said a word!
“Aw look at her, running off tae her wee boyfriend. Dae ye no’ embarrass him wearin’ those dodgy charity shop clothes?”
Other students glanced at us in speculation, stepping out of my way when I passed, clearly not wanting anything to do with Alana Miller. I didn’t blame them. She was scary as hell! Fear clogged my throat at the thought of Alana getting her hands on me. I turned the corner and relief flooded me at the sight of Tobias at the gates.
“Enjoy him while ye can.” Alana’s harsh laughter made me shiver. “He’s gonna get bored wi’ a wee geeky bitch like ye in nae time!”
She sounded closer so I moved faster.
Tobias suddenly pushed off the gates and although I couldn’t see his expression clearly from here, I could tell by the way he started striding quickly, his moveme
nts jerky with tension, that he knew Alana was having a go at me.
Suddenly he was jogging toward me, his gaze narrowed over my shoulder in anger. “Problem here?” he called out as he came to a stop beside me.
I sagged against him in relief and his arm instantly came around me. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not proud of being relieved to be rescued by a boy. However, I’d lived most of my life with my head buried in the pages of a book. Alana Miller had kicked and bit and eye-gouged her way through life since she was at nursery. This girl would annihilate me if she got her hands on me. Whether it was Tobias coming to my rescue, or Vicki and Steph, I would have been relieved for the backup.
“Piss off, King,” Alana sneered as she and her girls passed us. She shot me one last threatening look and I shivered, acid flooding my stomach.
“What happened?” Tobias asked, concern etched all over his face.
I placed a trembling hand to my forehead, wondering how on earth I’d become a target for the worst bully in school within twenty-four hours. For doing nothing! For dating a boy! And refusing to be around someone who was using coke. That didn’t sound unreasonable to me.
“They just appeared,” I told him breathlessly. “Started calling me a slut, making fun of me for dating you. Stupid stuff...but...” I met his anger-filled gaze “...it’s Alana Miller, Tobias. I’ve known her my whole life. She’s itching for a fight and she...she’s vicious.”
“I won’t let her hurt you.” He put his arm around my shoulder and drew me tight to his side. I relaxed marginally at the feel of his warm lips on my temple below my headband. “The guys gave me shit yesterday. I was walking home from rugby tryouts and bumped into them. They taunted me all the way home.”
I clung to his waist, hoping my nearness would comfort him. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, me, too. I really didn’t think Stevie would be this kind of a problem.”
However, it turned out our former friend was going to be a massive problem. By the time we sat down in the cafeteria for lunch, we understood Stevie and his friends had no intention of letting us get on quietly with our lives without them.
The Fragile Ordinary Page 20