by Laura Hogg
"You ... killed him?"
"I shot him."
"Benjamin,” she sighed and slumped her shoulders.
"I am no murderer. He was about to plunge a knife into your heart. I was not close enough to stop him with my bare hands."
"Oh, Benjamin."
"You should feel safer now. The magistrate knows the whole story. It seems he was happy when I told him. Your enemy was wanted for other crimes. He would have been hung had I turned him in."
She was staring at him.
"Now it is your turn to talk, Relief. I demand answers."
"Benjamin, he has a partner."
Twenty
"Explain this, Relief!"
"The man you killed told me once that if I didn't lie down and die under his hands, that if I killed him, his partner would hunt you down and murder you. He's wanted me dead for some time now, and it seems that I'm harder to kill than he had anticipated, even with all those months of intimidation."
"That's what you meant this morning. You were planning to die even as you took your vows. You were planning to give your life for me. You might have defeated him, probably would have. That is why he wanted you to lie down and take his deathblow."
"Yes."
He was momentarily unable to express what this did to him. She touched his hand. It was trembling. She threw herself into his arms.
"I had no idea your love for me ran so deep, Relief."
She sobbed. He held her and kissed her head.
"What is the name of his partner?"
"He never told me."
"I will find out."
"I will help you."
"Over my dead body."
"Raphael will help you."
"Unless you mean that stocky, hot-tempered, dark-haired fellow that was in attendance at our wedding and threatened to kill me if I ever harmed you, then my answer is, ‘over my dead body.’”
"Benjamin, I am capable! You know I can fight!"
"I don't give a damn. Your days as a crime-fighting lad are over."
"That's why I did not want to marry you!"
He was breathing faster, greatly agitated. “That explains plenty, Relief, but I will not be moved on this issue, ever!"
"I want to dissolve our marriage. I am Raphael Taylor, damn you."
"You are Relief, Lady Cheltham, madam. You are never again going to dress as a boy and put your life on the line. I will not have it!"
"You liked Raphael! He was your closest friend!"
Sadness deepened the grayness of his eyes.
"Indeed. I knew there was a reason I was so drawn to the little lad, er, I mean lass, I mean you!” He shook his head and clenched his hands. “You have my head reeling, madam!"
"You enjoyed Raphael's company."
"I enjoy yours. Now you are my closest friend.” He frowned. “How odd."
"You took pleasure in both sides of me, Benjamin. Raphael Taylor is as much me as is the woman before you now."
He took her hands in his and gave her a look of regret.
"My God, darling, this means that I have struck you.” He looked ill from the thought.
She touched the hair at his brow and gave him a tender look.
"No, Benjamin. You struck Raphael, a lad, not the woman you love."
A slight look of madness flashed briefly across his eyes. “I hurt you. I knocked you senseless."
"No, Benjamin—"she sighed.
"Forgive me."
She touched his face and nodded. He squeezed her in the circle of his arms.
"Please forgive me."
"Yes."
"I never dreamed of suppressing you, Relief. That is not my intention, but I'm sorry, you will have to come to terms with giving up that part of your life. Only with me in the ground will you ever again go about the streets of London fighting the streets’ most dangerous criminals. I will have to be dead and gone before that happens ever again."
She let out a small sob. He tightened his embrace as if to never let go.
"I'm sorry, my love."
"Let me help you find the partner,” she said with difficulty.
He heard her breath come out strained and loosened his hug. “No. I will ask your brothers for help if that will put your mind at rest. Will it Relief? I will hear your opinion on this matter. Do you want them to know?"
She shook her head and sniffled. “They can't know. My father's fury would blow if he discovered that I hid this from him these past few years then paid the guard I dismissed to come back and pretend he never left."
"I can not say that I would blame him. So you do not want your family to be apprised of the situation?"
"No."
"Honora knows."
"She is the only one."
"Could she be in danger from this partner?"
"I do not know. It was never brought up."
"Christ. Now I have to worry about three women. And you do not want me to call upon your brothers and father."
"Let me help you, Benjamin. You need me."
He pulled her away so he could look into her face. “Yes, my darling. I need you to no end, but not in the way to which you refer. I need you so that my heart does not stop beating. I need you because I am so in love with you."
"Now I fear for Honora."
"We shall have her as a long-term houseguest then, sweet love. She shall move in with us."
"Thank you, Benjamin."
He nodded.
"My family will be returning to New York soon."
Worry was poorly disguised in his eyes. “I hope to hear from this protector you hired soon. I am concerned about Joan as well."
"He will report to me in the near future."
"I will not leave you alone in this country while an evil man is still out there and a threat to you, Relief. Not even if Joan needs me. Now that we are married, I could take you with me though if I had to leave. Devil take it, I probably would have done so before instead of leaving you with a protector when I really consider the matter. You have me in such a state of—” he sighed. “I must think clearly."
She looked up into his face and brought her fingertips to his jaw while her heart throbbed with tenderness.
"Oh Benjamin, I know how much this hurts you. You are haunted by your past with her. You feel that you owe her, and your heart aches over what happened in that forest. You would never forgive yourself if something bad happened to her."
He closed his eyes.
She let her hand fall to her side then reached and grasped his hand. “When I met you, Benjamin, you told me that you were haunted by grief. I did not yet know that it was concerning your sister. You told Raphael that I looked upon you and smiled, promising to rescue you."
He opened his eyes and reached out to her with his probing expression. “To rescue my heart, beloved. To pull me from that anguish. Oh my dearest love, I am sorry. I was mistaken. I have failed to save my sister. I am unworthy."
"No, Benjamin, you are a hero. I would be dead if it were not for you. And so would Joan."
"What do you mean?” He gave her a looked filled with question.
"When we became engaged, Joan approached Honora and me one day when we were shopping."
"You never said anything."
"Joan and her soon-to-be sister-in-law pulled up in a very fine carriage just as we were leaving the shop. She pulled me aside. ‘Miss Moore, I am Lord Cheltham's sister. I have searched the city for you for two days now. Someone said that you often shop here in the morning.’ ‘What can I do for you?’ ‘You are engaged to be married to my brother.’ ‘Yes.’”
Lord Cheltham held up his hand. “She approached you?"
"Yes. She told me that if she died, she wanted you to know something. I was quite surprised by her words and asked what she meant by them."
"And?” He leaned closer to her.
"She said that if you did not bring her real family to the church and have them waiting for her, if she were forced to go through with the wedding to that misera
ble man that your parents chose for her based on his wealth and status alone, she would kill herself.’”
He leaned back, his face drained of color.
She squeezed his hand. “After that, Benjamin, I hired the guard. If you had not brought the family to that church, I would have had the guard escort Joan out of the country."
He gawked at her. “You are the most efficient woman I have ever come across in my life."
"I speak eight languages. It is not hard for me to communicate with people from all walks of life. I have been all over the world in many situations."
"Astounding."
"And able to help you."
"Over my dead body."
"Why, Benjamin? Why?"
"Because you are a woman, my woman."
Anger flared. Her little hands squeezed into fists. “Reconsider."
"No. Most adamantly, no."
"You are impossible."
"And you have no choice. You did before, as an unmarried woman. Now you are my wife, and I will make that choice for you."
"You are holding your power over my head."
"So I am."
He went to leave the room.
"Where are you going, my lord?” she said, with a touch of bitterness.
"To find him."
"You need me."
He swung around and pointed a finger at her.
"You will stay here, and just to make sure...” he went to a small table on the other side of the room, opened up a drawer, and pulled out a key.
"What are you going to do with that, my lord?"
"I am resolved to execute my power as a husband. A servant will be instructed to check on your needs in an hour if you should grow hungry or such."
Her eyes widened.
He strode to the door and shut it behind himself with some ceremony. She heard him turning the lock with the key, and she banged on the door with her fists.
"Go to sleep, Relief!"
She heard his footsteps as he walked down the corridor. She was boiling with anger. She paced the room cursing in all eight of her languages. She spoke more in the ones that had the best colorful expressions. Hours later she finally plopped down on the bed, exhausted. She fell back against the thick, soft coverings. As she was muttering a curse in Italian, he entered the room.
He said, “I never heard that phrase before."
"That is because I called you a—"
"Relief! That will be quite enough!"
She jutted out her chin. “Did you find him, my lord?"
He wiped his forehead with the back of his arm, showing his fatigue.
"No, but I found a clue."
"What is it?” She sat up.
"I'm afraid to bring you in on this."
"Benjamin, you could at least allow me to help you solve this from my imprisoned position."
"You are not in prison!"
"I beg to differ."
"You know, Relief,” he grasped her forearms. “This could have been paradise. I wish to reel you with pleasure."
She scowled at him. She leaned to within an inch of his face. “You really want to make love to me."
His face softened with true love. He touched her cheek gently with the back of his hand.
"I wish to express my unworldly love for you, wife."
She smirked, an ugly twist of her lips and leaned closer to him. She placed four soft kisses on his lips, counting between each one.
Kiss. “Eight.” Kiss. “Nine.” Kiss. “Ten.” Kiss. “Eleven."
He blinked in amazement. “What does this mean, Relief?"
"It means, my lord, that I will never kiss you again. I want to dissolve our marriage."
"Never,” he swallowed sadly.
She had hurt him.
He took her hand in his. “Relief, I discovered that the man's partner is a nobleman."
She sat up straighter. “What? How did you find this out?"
"I went about in my buccaneer clothes, as that detestable Mr. Hawksworth once called them, and roamed the streets. I asked around. It seems that my connection to Raphael, to you,” he frowned, “has earned me quite some respect. People opened up to me. The man I shot has been seen with a man in fine clothes, a man with a cloud-white cravat. A ruby pin sparkled within its folds. He gave me an elaborate description of the clothes. It had to be a nobleman."
"Who?"
"I do not know yet. I know dozens of men that could fit the description of the clothes."
"He did not describe the man himself?"
"He said that he was wearing a wig. And he did not procure a good look at his face."
"Who gave you this information, my lord?"
"I must own it was your little mudlark."
Her brows rose. “The little fella was a difficult lad. You were able to procure information from him?"
"For a shiny coin."
"And he trusted you to go near him?"
"He remembered me. He almost broke my ankle once, remember? He admitted that in truth, he looked up to you. He said that you made the streets safer for the little ones."
"Like him?"
"No, smaller than him. He still insists that he is a man, even though he cannot be much above ten or so. He was in fine spirits as well having found a bit of copper in the Thames. His normal find is usually no better than pieces of iron or coal that he can sell."
"I make the streets safer for children, Benjamin."
"Not anymore."
"Bastard."
Anger flashed across his eyes. “You will refrain from calling me that ever again!"
"Your parents were not at our wedding. How do I know you have parents?"
"Do not venture there, Relief!"
"Why, because you really are a bastard?"
He sucked in a long breath. “Sleep frustrated tonight, instead of screaming in the greatest delight your body, mind, and heart will ever know!"
"Hah! In your dreams!"
"We shall see, Relief!"
"Hmm!” She crossed her arms over her chest in defiance.
"Oh, I should like you to know your sister is situated in her room down the hall."
Her anger dissipated somewhat. “Really?"
"Yes.” He undressed fully and stood before her naked. She couldn't help but to stare at his magnificent muscular body. She looked long and hard. He grinned. His chest and shoulders were broad and narrowed to a flat stomach and narrow waist. His legs were powerful. His-She gulped. That was a beautiful sight as well. He was wonderfully sculpted.
"You're going to sleep here?"
"Yes, next to my wife. Very close."
"Naked?"
"Yes."
"Oh Lord."
Twenty-one
She lay back on the bed. He climbed in next to her, folding his arms around her. His lips brushed soft kisses along her neck. His breath was hot. He wet her skin with the tip of his tongue, ascending until he was teasing the sensitive area behind her ear. She shivered.
Her body stiffened. She was acutely aware of a great sexual tension surging throughout her entire body as she inhaled deeply of his essence, so masculine, and desirable. She looked into his face. He traced her jaw gently with his hand. She exhaled in a whisper as she imagined sighing to high heaven in the ecstasy that he promised to bring her. He lightly traced her breasts through her chemise. She moaned.
"Relief.” His fingers skimmed over her like a feather lower and lower. “My wife. Since the day I first saw you, I have dreamed of touching you so.” He touched the hem of her nightdress and slid his fingers under it. “Darling, your skin is warm. Your heart races.” His hand roved upward, slowly.
She closed her eyes. Her skin tingled. He reached the top of her inner thighs. His fingers lingered there, barely touching her. She felt the heat of his hands. Her eyes popped open.
"What are you going to do, my lord?"
He frowned. “Not make love to you until I've had my twelfth kiss. Not until you breathe out my name in your passion."
"Oh
, then what are you doing?” She breathed faster.
"Torturing both of us. I will touch you, Relief. I will make you squirm. I will bring you to the brink."
"The brink of what?"
His eyes grew dark. He gently pressed his hand down, and she gasped. He touched her with exquisite softness, in small circles. She shifted her hips. She writhed as her toes tingled to life, and incredible pleasure sparked up her calves, up her thighs. She grew warmer and warmer and arched her back. Her stomach tightened, and she inhaled sharply.
"Oh, Benjamin!” she screamed. Something was happening to her, something astonishing. She tightened up, every muscle in her body squeezing. “Oh!” It was building, and building and—he pulled his hand away. She held her breath, not moving, throbbing with swollen need. She was clutching the sheets in white-knuckled hands, her back and toes curved sharply. Her mouth hung open. He rose above her and looked into her eyes fiercely. She couldn't move or think. Tears streamed down her face.
* * * *
The next morning she woke before he did, having rested very little. She stared into his face. She reached out a trembling hand to touch his cheek. He had touched her intimately, making her moan and sigh. She felt sensations build and build until she thought that she was going to blow into a million tiny pieces. Then he stopped. She was holding her breath, and tensing her body and grasping the sheets so tightly that she thought she would lose her senses. She lay there confused, frustration and cutting disappointment bringing tears to her eyes. As little rivulets of her distress ran down her face, she had almost begged for him to finish. She had almost demanded. He left her lying there, her head reeling, not knowing what hit her.
Then he had taken her hand in his and slid it slowly down his heated skin. He encircled her hand around him, and she drew in a deep, sharp breath. She closed her eyes, remembering what he felt like. He moaned aloud, and guided her hand over him a few times.
"Do you want me, Relief?” his voice came out ragged.
"Dear God, Benjamin, I do."
"Kiss me."
She almost did.
"Wife,” he croaked out.
"No,” she whispered.
He cursed, jumped up and went over to the water bowl which was lying on a nearby table. He splashed his face a few times, stopped, took in several deep breaths, turned and gave her an urgent look.