Laney and their mom left, so she could give her a tour of the town and her shop. Raelyn went to lay down. They came back a while later, excited chatter filling the apartment. Sawyer came home and introductions were made. They got ready for dinner.
“You sure you don’t want to come?” Laney asked, peeking her head into Raelyn’s room.
“I’m sure.”
“Okay.” Laney stepped into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. “If I could, I’d go home, but I can’t just leave my business and my clients. I’m going to visit as much as I can though. Hopefully Mom and I can rebuild our relationship long distance. I know you’re trying to figure out what to do, but…she’s been your mom for twenty-six years. You just started dating Hayes.”
“I know.”
Laney rubbed Raelyn’s arm. “You staying at Hayes’ tonight? Do you care if Mom sleeps in here?”
“That’s fine.”
“We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”
Raelyn nodded and Laney left, the apartment quiet again. She lay there, weighing everything, but still had no clue what to do.
Hayes texted her and asked her to meet him at his place at seven-thirty. She freshened up and changed her clothes. The second he opened the door to her, he yanked her to him. His lips instantly found hers and she melted into his arms, against his body. She pulled him tight, needing to soak up every second.
“Damn, I missed you today,” he said when he pulled back. “And I think you missed me, too.”
“I did.” She forced a smile.
He reached for a wool blanket that had been draped over the desk chair, and a plastic bag. “Sandwiches from the deli,” he said holding it up.
“Sounds perfect.”
He looked at her, his smile flattening. “Something’s off. Are you okay, sweetheart?”
“Yeah. Just a lot on my mind.”
“You wanna tell me about it?”
“Maybe. When we get to the park.”
He kissed her cheek. “I hate seeing a frown on that beautiful face.”
It was going to be so hard to tell him what was going on, what she was thinking of doing.
Hayes opened the passenger side door and helped her in. The drive was short and the park looked different in the light. He parked in pretty much the exact same spot where they’d gotten caught. Memories of that night flooded her. How good it had felt. Exciting. Funny how she didn’t focus on the bad parts anymore.
He spread out the blanket and after kicking their shoes off, they sat down on it.
“You wanna eat first or talk?” he asked.
Eating was a good idea at this point. “My mom’s in town.”
Raelyn debated on how much to tell him. She’d been adamant than no one know about her illness.
“She apologized for the way she treated me and Laney. For not understanding. For not supporting us.”
“That’s good.” He took her hand, intertwining it with his, and brought it to his lips. “I don’t know what I’d do without my mom. Maybe now you two can repair what’s broken.”
“She wants to. I do, too.”
“Then what’s the problem? You look like you’re gonna hurl.” He flashed that stellar grin.
“She wants me to come home. To Dallas.”
As her words sunk in, his smile faded. “And you wanna go.”
“I don’t know what I want.” Tears threatened to spill from her eyes.
“It’s not that hard, Raelyn. Stay here or go home.” He was getting upset. “What’s more important?”
“They’re equally important. But she’s my mom. How can I tell her no?”
He turned away from her, letting go of her hand, and stared off as the sun started its descent toward the horizon. “Do what you need to do.”
This sucked. She hated the look on his face. The disappointment. “I won’t be gone long. Just a few weeks. Maybe a month or so. Then I’ll be back.”
“It doesn’t matter. You’re leaving me. Just like she did.” He was shutting down. She could almost see the wall building back up around him.
“No. It’s not the same. I’ll come back.”
“How do I know that? I sat around for years praying Cassie would come back and she never did.”
“I hate that she hurt you, but I’m not her. I won’t abandon you.”
He shook his head, with a laugh that was far from jovial. “Story of my pathetic life. I fall for someone and they fuck me over.”
“That’s not what I’m doing.” A tear trailed down her cheek. She touched his arm, but he flinched. She pulled back. It killed her to see such hurt, such…sadness.
He turned his gaze on her, now filled with hope. “Then stay. Tell her you can’t go home. Show me what we have means something to you.”
“It does. But…” She almost spilled, told him the real reason she needed to go home, but she’d promised her mother she wouldn’t tell anyone. “I just need some time.”
“Then we’re done here.” He stood and stepped into his boots.
“You can’t ask me to choose between you and my mother. I would never do that to you.”
“This is me. I’m an asshole. You knew that when you got involved.”
“Why won’t you trust me?” Raelyn stood, too. More tears. “I’m not Cassie.”
“I don’t have it in me to believe you right now.” He headed for the driver’s side door.
“I’ve never given you a reason not to,” she said to his back. “You can’t treat me like I’m her. Why are you acting like this?”
He pulled on the door handle then turned back to her. “I don’t know how else to be when the woman I love is walking out on me.”
He got in the truck, started it, and left her all alone with a romantic picnic for two.
Chapter 13
Hayes woke and found a tiny pair of feet next to his face, toenails painted red. They were connected to a fully-clothed woman laying in bed next to him, with her head on the other end. A head full of blond hair. It wasn’t Raelyn. The events of the previous night flooded his head. Well, most of them. He had no recollection after the fourth or fifth double whiskey he’d had at the bar.
“Good morning,” Trixie said with a yawn.
“Did we?”
“Ha! Not even close. You passed right the hell out. But even if you hadn’t, I know where your heart is. I didn’t want to chance wreckin’ anything for you. I just wanted you to get home okay. You asked me to stay. Didn’t want to be alone.”
“Thanks.” He sat up. “But there’s nothin’ to wreck. Raelyn and I are done.”
“I asked last night, but you didn’t want to tell me why. Any chance you changed your mind?”
“Nope. Not worth relivin’ it.” He stood and stretched. “You don’t have to leave, but I really need to head to the ranch.”
“Well, I think you two have something. You can’t just give up.”
He didn’t want to admit that they did have something. That he hadn’t felt like this since Cassie. But he hadn’t given up. Raelyn had. She’d chosen to leave, and he couldn’t do a damn thing about that. In the end, he wasn’t enough. Love was for suckers. He knew he should have stuck to what he knew. Whiskey and fucking. Neither ever let him down.
Trixie stood and stuck her feet into her little high-heeled sandals. “If you ever want to talk, you know where to find me.”
“I sure do.” Hayes pulled Trixie into his embrace. Raelyn may not want him, but there were a bunch of other women that did. She could go to hell.
*
Raelyn lay awake in bed, her alarm due to go off any moment, but she’d been awake since three, her night replaying in her mind over and over. Especially the last words Hayes had said.
He loved her.
She wanted to believe it, but how could someone love her and act the way he had? She knew he’d been hurt in the past, so completely damaged, but she was nothing like his ex. Why couldn’t he see that?
She’d sat in the park for a while and watch
ed the sun set, all by herself. The night was supposed to be romantic. Just her and Hayes. She was supposed to lie in his arms and look up at the stars. Instead she’d bawled her eyes out then walked home alone.
She’d noticed Hayes’ truck in the parking lot of the bar as she passed by and tried shaking off the thoughts that ran rampant through her mind. No such luck.
The apartment was quiet when she got there, everyone in bed. They weren’t expecting her to come home. She’d laid down on the couch, but needed something. Someone. She’d needed her mom.
Raelyn had crept into her bedroom and peeled back the covers of her bed, trying not to wake her mother.
“Raelyn? Is that you?”
“Yes.” She’d tried to hide her sorrow. Impossible.
“Come here,” she’d said and tucked her into her embrace. “What’s wrong?”
“Everything’s a mess.”
She’d smoothed her hair and kissed her forehead. “We’ll fix it in the morning.”
“I don’t think it’s fixable.”
“Everything is fixable. I’m going to kick cancer’s ass and we’re going to fix us. Anything or anyone else that comes along, we can fix that, too.”
Raelyn couldn’t think about any of it anymore. She needed to forget the night had ever happened. Sleep came, but not for long. Her dreams had woken her up. But she’d made up her mind. She was heading back to Dallas. She had to be there for her mother and work things out with her, or she’d regret it. But she couldn’t leave without at least trying to talk to Hayes first. She owed it to herself, to him, to try one last time to get him to understand. He could trust her. She would be back.
And she needed to tell him she loved him, too.
She knew what time he got up for work and made sure she got over to the boarding house before he was due to leave. But as she walked up the front steps, the screen door opened and Trixie walked out. Hair rumpled, makeup smudged, sporting her bar uniform from the night before.
This was a mistake. Raelyn turned and ran back to her car.
“Raelyn! Wait. It’s not what it looks like.”
“It’s fine,” she said over her shoulder as she reached her car. “I get it.”
“Please wait.”
But she got in her car before Trixie could reach her, and floored it. She’d never hit the gas so hard in her life. Goodbye, Fort Mavis. Good riddance.
Chapter 14
Another day, another dollar. Hayes worked his ass off every day, morning until night. He stayed away from the bar, and surprised himself by not calling any of the women in his address book. He had his daughter to think about. And the person he’d been for the last few years of his life was not the father she needed.
He was determined to get the money for the house as soon as possible. He’d found the perfect house: three bedrooms, a nice big kitchen. Even a porch for a swing and a rocking chair. It needed a little work, but he could handle that. As soon as Mama’s sale on her land came through, they’d have enough cash in hand to buy it.
It had been over a week since Raelyn left and he tried like hell not to think about her. But it was impossible. He could still remember the way she smelled, the way she felt in his arms, the sound of her sighs and moans. And it was especially hard when Hannah asked him every other day. He hadn’t the heart to tell her the truth, and hoped she’d soon forget.
Hayes worked at Magnolia Acres that Saturday until two. Once he showered and changed, he drove to Monroe to pick up Hannah and his mom for the big fall carnival in Fort Mavis. Now that Hannah was officially moving to Fort Mavis, he needed to introduce her to the town, and maybe some of the townspeople to her. In the past he’d kept his private life very private, but it was time.
When they walked into the carnival, her little eyes lit up. She’d never been to one before. They stopped to watch a magic show then he bought her a bright pink fluff of cotton candy on a stick. The smile on her face was priceless and he couldn’t help his own. This was what life was all about. Soon his daughter would be with him every day and he’d get to witness every single moment of her life. She was all he needed to be happy. Forget about whiskey and women.
After Hannah rode a dozen kiddie rides and they stuffed their faces with corndogs and curly fries, they tried their hand at a few games.
“Come on, Daddy! I need that pink kitty!”
“I’m tryin’!” Hayes said as he threw another dart at a balloon. Pop!
“Yay!” she squealed and the game attendant handed her the stuffed animal.
Hayes took her by the hand and they turned, almost running smack into Sawyer Williamson and Raelyn’s sister.
Sawyer nodded his head. “Hayes.”
He nodded in return. “Sawyer.”
“Daddy, are these your friends?” Hannah asked, yanking on his hand.
He didn’t know how to answer that, but he couldn’t tell her the truth. Couldn’t admit to his baby girl that he was an asshole who had no friends. “Yes,” he said, then met Sawyer’s gaze, urging him to play along.
“Hi! I’m Hannah!” she said.
“Hi, Hannah,” they both said with smiles.
Hayes turned to his little girl. “How about Grandma takes you over to the fish pond so you can try and win your own prize? Does that sound good?”
“Yes!” She grabbed his mother’s hand and together they skipped away.
He faced Sawyer and Laney. “Thank you for that.”
“Of course,” Sawyer said, waving it off, then met his stare. “And I owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have believed the rumors about you. And definitely shouldn’t have spread ‘em.”
“Thanks.” He wasn’t sure what to think of Sawyer’s apology, but he’d take it. The old Hayes would have told him to go fuck himself, but now he had a daughter to think about and a reputation to fix.
“I better go.” Hayes hitched his thumb over his shoulder and started to turn.
“Wait,” Laney said.
He knew what was coming next. And he didn’t think he could bear it.
“I need to tell you why she left.”
“She chose to go home instead of being with me. Simple as that.”
Laney shook her head. “Our mom is sick. She has cancer. I couldn’t leave my business to be with her, so Raelyn went. So she could hold her hand through radiation and whatever else.”
“Oh.” As the severity of it sunk in, the questions arose. “Why didn’t she just tell me that?”
“Our mom made us promise not to. Raelyn kept her promise and I obviously didn’t. I thought you deserved to know the real reason. She really did have every intention of coming back.”
Fuck. He’d been so mad and had acted like such an asshole to her that night. And she’d just found out her mom had cancer.
“The morning she left,” Laney continued, “she came to talk to you again. She didn’t want to give up. She wanted to keep our mom’s secret, but also figure out a way to be with you. Because she loves you. You just needed to trust her.”
She…loves me?
“But then she saw the bartender leaving your place. She was devastated and took off.”
Hayes shook his head, furious with himself for missing the opportunity to hear her out. “Nothing happened with Trixie.”
“She doesn’t know that.”
He rubbed his hands up his face and through his hair. Fuck! He’d been so wrong. He couldn’t see past his own heartache with Cassie to see Raelyn was nothing like her. She wanted to do it all, to be there for her mom and be with him, but he’d been too upset to listen. Too fucking stupid to see what she was really trying to do.
He looked at Laney and said, “Thank you for telling me.” He turned to go meet up with Mama and Hannah.
“What are you gonna do?” Laney asked.
He shrugged. “I don’t know.”
And he really didn’t. He had no clue how to fix this. Or if he even had the energy to. He had to focus on Hannah and the house. Right now, his wants and needs were last
on the list.
*
Raelyn sank into her desk chair, back at her old job. Alone, bored, no one to talk to. She missed the diner. Charlie had been real understanding. She told him there was a family emergency and he didn’t push for more. He took her word and told her she could come back any time. She missed the new friends she’d made. She even missed the silly gossip and the slower pace of life in Fort Mavis.
She’d gone with her mom to every radiation treatment. Laney drove in a couple times during the week so she could go, too. Raelyn and her mom ate dinner together every night, and sometimes they Facetimed with Laney and Sawyer while they ate. It was almost like having family dinners again, but now with lots of conversation instead of silence while everyone chewed.
The reconnecting thing was going well for everyone, especially Raelyn. Amazing how different her mom was when she let down her guard and stopped being so worried about what everyone thought. They actually had fun and Raelyn guessed this was what she was like before her husband’s affair had turned her into a bitter bitch of a woman.
But as well as everything was going, she sure as hell missed Hayes. She tried not to think about him and the time they’d spent together. All the things they could have done together, the silly future she’d been dreaming about. It all just made her sad.
“I’m so excited!” her mom said as she burst into her office. Raelyn quickly wiped her tears away. Her mother failed to notice, thank God, and continued with her enthusiastic announcement. “I just got off the phone with my doctor. He said things are looking really good and this will be my last week of treatments. So when I’m done, we’re gonna celebrate. I already made a reservation at Chez Pierre for Saturday night. Laney and Sawyer are driving in. Won’t that be fun?”
“Yeah.” Raelyn forced a smile.
“I don’t have any appointments after two today. Do you want to go shopping? Or maybe mani/pedis?”
Lone Star Burn_Whiskey & Women Page 10