by Unknown
I bit my lips. It took a moment to summon the courage to answer. "Oh, hell, yes."
"Yes." She echoed me and gave my hand a sympathetic squeeze. "And if Marek were here, I'm sure he would be voicing his disagreements most vehemently. What's wrong, dear?"
I knew my regrets showed plainly upon my face. "If Marek was here, there would have been nothing to voice. I'd have been with him. I wouldn't have been near a Were King or his Leni."
"Would you have?" She eyed me. "If Marek had not become Wolfram, would he have been with you?"
"I would have been with him."
"That is debatable. I know what business he had kept near the end of his days. You would not have been together. But one thing is still certain—he would have made his opinion known. And he would not approve of this union. Not because it was you—but because he would thwart the Wolfenkinder at every turn, and none would give him more satisfaction in the thwarting than the son of Schatten."
I quietly absorbed this terrible proclamation. How had I become the repository for dangerous intel? Even if what she said wasn't high up on the List of Expensive Secrets for Sale, it was risky. They had the potential to cause pain to any number of people close to me and that made them dangerous, indeed.
Dierk had warned me not to overshare with this woman. I wondered if I'd disobeyed him, and what price I would be called upon to settle in the days to come. Without doubt, it would be a staggering one—Nakia had knowledge of the tension between Marek and Schatten. I could only imagine a king's ransom would be demanded when it came time to pay.
And I was simply a beggar in Sophia's robes.
It occurred to me that I should behave as one and hope it would endear me to her.
"You have been so generous—on so many levels." I reached for her sleeve, bowing my head. "You feel like the first friend I've met in all this."
She patted my hand where it lay on her arm. "Political move—you may be the Queen of Wolfenkinder."
My hand slipped, as did my expression, I was sure. "Really?"
"Just teasing. It is no trouble to be kind. I know how immersed in the mythology the Were tend to be, and no one likes to explain why they believe in what they believe. It's faith. You just have to have it to understand."
Well, with all the talk about a Kingmaker's Moon and what not, I believed that things would end up in Dierk's favor. "A number keeps popping up. Five. Why five? I thought three was the magic number."
"Blame the Egyptians. Did you know the Egyptians calculated the year out to 365 days? Brilliant work, that. Oh, if only I could have been alive back then…well, there's always the hope for time travel, right?"
She sighed, clearly chasing down a geeky thought before picking up where she left off.
"The original calendar had twelve months of thirty days, based on the inundation of the Nile and the planting cycle. That left five days, called the yearly five days, a time for great feasting and ritual. Those days fell at year's end, and the final months were called the Season of Harvest, which went from February 22 to June 21. Your eyes are glazing over."
"I'm fine," I said. "I was just thinking. Funny that the calendar was based on the sun, not the moon."
"Previous calendars were based on the moon. Many still are. But the Egyptians were the intellectual force, the ones to set the trend. It was so influential it ended up in the Fifth chapter of Genesis. The Five Books of Moses. The five stones David used against Goliath. The five pointed star, symbol of Mars. The five wounds of the Christ on the cross. The five elements: earth, wind, fire, water, and spirit. The five fingers that close into a solid fist—five is everywhere. Five is fundamental. Five is powerful."
She rose to leave. "I'm meeting with Tancred later. I know he is just as curious about you so don't be surprised if we steal you away for a while. There is still the matter of that strange magic that attacked you."
"Tancred. He seems to have a lot of influence over Dierk." Which meant, I thought, he may have it over me, as well. "What sort of man is he?"
"Tancred is an interesting chap. He's rather progressive for a Were, despite being the epitome of traditional. I suspect the royal family indulged him. He holds several degrees, including medicine and physics. Can you imagine? When would you have time to practice medicine?" She winked at me.
I couldn't help but grin. "Are you trying to seduce me with your geeky ways?"
"Oh," she said, her voice suspiciously light. "It's just a matter of time, Sophia."
She shook my hand as she left, leaving a tingle that traveled up my arm. Time had a funny way of working against me. I just didn't need a smart phone app to remind me.
During the week, Dierk called on me at home, taking me out each night. Dinner, sightseeing, a movie. No pressure, just dating. Every day, I'd tuck one of Marek's journals into my purse but I never found time to read it.
Rodrian must have decided that he wasn't so interested in our remaining time together. He was never at the Stocks when I was.
I got my passport, too. A passport was probably the last thing I thought I'd ever get, with a vasectomy coming in at a close second. I never had been a traveler. My entire world had been lived in a two hour radius from where I stood, which is truly sad, considering the Jersey Shore is like, right there. As I filled out the passport application, I noticed the turn-around time was four weeks, at the soonest. Four weeks. I at least had that long before I left town forever.
At least, I'd thought I had four weeks. Unfortunately, Dierk had diplomatic ties and a good friend at the consulate. He handed my papers off to a guy in a suit who promised to have my passport by Friday.
Stupid kings and the expedience with which they did everything.
I was so pissed off at the whole thing that I made him stop at a drugstore on the way back to the hotel because I wanted one of every vaccine that they stocked. All I ended up with was a tetanus booster and a Were who laughed himself silly over it because he thought vaccines were a waste of time.
He chuckled about it the entire drive back, even while I rubbed my arm getting out of the car. Damn, but that pharmacist had nailed me with that shot. Hadn't he ever heard of putting a little TLC in the needle? I tugged up my sleeve and peeled off the bandage, expecting to see a wicked bruise the size of a fist, if the pain was any judge. Dierk carried my purse for me and steered me onto the sidewalk leading to the hotel entrance, shaking his head and murmuring nonsense about how stubborn I was.
I felt it then, like a round of cannon fire, a pressure that thumped at my ears, my lungs, my mind. It felt like sunfall times a thousand. I staggered in my step, tripping, feeling the world turn a hazy shade of muffled. I reached out to catch myself, catching the corner of the building with my hand, tearing the flesh of my palm. The sharp bite of concrete was nothing to the rawness that crowded me. I gulped for breath.
I knew that feeling. And I knew that power. One of my Demivamps had just taken a human life, pushing his soul a tick forward on the clock of evolution.
My Demivamp. Rodrian.
I screamed Rodrian's name, spinning my power out, seeking him, knowing he'd feel the burst of Sophia power that carried it.
There was no response. Wherever he was, Rodrian ignored me.
Hate for that woman, that demon, seethed in the pit of my brain. She drove him to it. She laughed while he did it, coaxing him and smothering him with the promise of a lustful release when he'd finished sating himself in the blood rush.
I knew those things because she made sure I knew. She'd bundled the images up and sought me out, using my desperate cry to Rodrian as a homing device. She wanted me to know.
And I swore I'd kill her for it.
I spun in place, bruise forgotten, reaching out with all the strength of my being. I'd find them. I'd find them and go to him and stop him, and I'd fucking stop her once and for all. So intent was I that I found myself at the edge of the road, Dierk grasping my shoulders, shaking me and repeating my name. It wasn't until he growled that I shook free of that ter
rible desire to find and avenge Rodrian.
Dierk's eyes were sallow gold, twin specks of bright blue reflecting in them that faded as I watched. My reflection. I'd gone full-on Sophia in front of him and hadn't even realized it.
"What is happening?" His voice strained, little more than whisper.
I shook my head, reaching out, not finding Rodrian's power. He'd completely withdrawn. The knowledge and the loss drove me to sobbing.
I stood in the street and wept, and the king himself was powerless to console me.
The evening didn't improve. I called Rodrian's cell, over and over, cursing every time it went to voicemail. Dierk endured it, silently, for quite some time before drawing a heavy breath and taking the phone from my limp fingers.
"I can't do this, Dierk."
He sat down next to me on his bed and pulled me closer. What can you not do, my dear?"
"This. Any of this." I rubbed my face, holding my head. "If he Falls, it's on me. I abandoned him. I have failed. I know that, for you, I began when the Leni told you to sit up and take notice of me but I started long before that, with them. With Marek, and Rodrian, and…"
"Life doesn't always keep to one path." He released me and scooted away so that he could see my face better. "I, too, have had other relationships. But I can't fight the present just to keep hold of the past."
It had never occurred to me that Dierk had a life before I walked through the doors of the Majestic, before I sassed him at the bar or felt the shock of the Leni's power rip along the nerves in my arm. Suddenly, I wasn't facing a certainty, which up until this exact moment, I assumed I had been. I figured there would be no one but Dierk in my life from here on out.
What if I faced a future with no one?
Dierk was handsome, attractive in too many ways to count, inside and out. His eyes, that mixture of coffee and champagne, represented what I felt when I was with him—common, graced by unreachable nobility. His character had earned my good graces a hundred times out and every time he revealed a new corner of his soul, he awoke another echo inside me. He resonated with me. There was only one thing I could not reconcile and even that was quickly becoming familiar to me, if not remotely embraced.
He could have any woman he wanted. I'm sure the world was lined with a queue of them long enough to keep him from ever thinking about me again.
"I wouldn't blame you if you did," I said. "I have more baggage than a man like you deserves."
"Oh, don't say that." He reached for me. "You are not baggage. You are a blessing."
"You say that now, but…"
He lifted my chin, holding my cheek. "I won't desert you, Sophie. I won't abandon you. You won't be facing this great magical change all on your own. Do you worry that, at the moment when you need me the most, I will turn and walk away?"
I nodded. "Yes."
"Why? Why would I do that?"
"Because Marek did. He loved me. He brought me to myself. He showed me the Sophia within me. He awoke this essence inside me that would forever change my life and then he left. He loved me, and he left me anyway. And, the thing is, he loved me because he wanted to. Not because I gave him a shock on the hand and the moon declared us to be a couple. See? You call me yours because of the Leni. He called me his because of his heart. And he still left."
"Do you think that—if the Leni had not begun, and it was just you and I backstage, and I wasn't der König—would you have seen me the next day? Would you have called me?"
He had me there. "Yes. I really thought I'd call you."
"Then there was a basis for us as man and woman. No Leni. Just us. Do you talk to me now as a Were? As ein König?"
"No. Just—ein jackass who proved his point well over."
He clucked his tongue. "Terms of endearment. You are fluent with them."
"So. What now?"
"Moon begins Saturday. My hosts have secured a running ground west of here, I believe. Privacy and safety. We will leave about three in the afternoon."
I nodded. Looks like he had our weekend planned out.
"Would you like to spend Friday night at home? With the younger Thurzo?"
Ah. There was that. I did want to, if I could convince Rodrian to stay with me. But I had a terribly sinking feeling that I would have to chase him down. How did I do that without hurting Dierk?
Because, looking into those amazing eyes, those eyes that picked up every day light and spun gold within them, I knew: I never wanted to hurt Dierk.
He leaned to kiss me on the cheek. "Do not worry about making me feel badly. I will bring you home after work on Friday and retrieve you Saturday afternoon. You need time with your loved ones."
"Thank you," I whispered, my heart tight with gratitude that, once again, he seemed to know just what I needed.
"Do not thank me." He traced my jaw with a tender touch. "I would do anything for you."
I believed his every word.
Waxing gibbous | moon 96% visible
Thursday we went to Chinatown for dinner. I treated him to my favorite restaurant and a double order of pan-fried dumplings and a pot of the house special soup. It was the simplest way to show my appreciation.
Despite the nearness of the moon, Dierk's manner was as easy-going as it was the night me met. He hadn't had to work hard to persuade me to spend the evening at the Windwood.
"Tell me about your castle," I said, curling up on the bed and hugging a pillow to my chest. I'd tested his room service skills by asking for popcorn. I got it. With butter sprinkles to boot. "Do you have a big throne room?"
He sprawled across the bottom of the bed, resting on his elbows. "Of course, I have a throne room. What a poor example of a king I would be had I not."
"And a jester?"
"No, sorry. No jester. But you, you are very amusing and quite entertaining. You can have the job if you like. I'll let you skip the application process."
"Another job? No, thanks."
"It pays quite well."
I threw popcorn at him. "Now I know you're rubbing it in."
"I rub nothing in." He picked up the pieces and ate them, wearing a smirk. "I am der König. I can afford an extravagant payroll."
"Like guards—"
"Of course, guards. You already know that I have security."
"What about ones that wear uniforms and carry pikes?"
"What about them?"
His expression was so serious I almost choked. "No, really?"
"No. Have you ever been to court? Not mine, of course, but any European court? It's very civilized. I am not Henry the Eighth. These questions, they are very odd. I wonder if you are making fun of me."
I rolled my eyes and grabbed another handful of popcorn. "I'd never."
"You'd never. Okay. I will take you at your word."
"I just want to know. You said I could ask you anything I wanted."
"I did. I apologize. You just come off sounding…so…"
"Smart ass."
"Yes. Thank you for saying it. I wouldn't insult a lady."
"It's not an insult, it's a skill I've practiced for a long time. So. To skip all the questions in order to avoid the risk of sounding smart assed—just tell me. What do you do at court?"
He slowly swayed his head as he searched for words. "We just—sit, I guess, and talk. Much like what we did here. Sometimes it is more formal, sometimes less. Catch up on what is going on in the other regions. Many use the time to visit, see old friends. Take news. Meet new mates. Feuds. Deaths. All the usual. We talk business, taxes, ventures, partnerships. We talk about the band. I give free concerts."
"Aw. No fair. Can you bend the no-human rule for me?"
"I might not have to."
I stifled an ugh. "Can you tape it, then?"
"I was only kidding. Of course I don't perform in court. And I never give free concerts. I, too, can be funny."
I thought about how to word my next question and decided it would be better to just ask. "Do you wear your wolf form?"
&nbs
p; "Some do. Usually they are either the weaker ones who change at the moon, young Were who cannot shift on their own will. Many times they are forced into their Wolf form. It is not shameful; it is nature, and der Wolf mingles among the man. I myself only hold court in human form."
"Why?"
"Courts are for men. Wolves have no need for thrones. We are dual-natured. Just as the sun belongs in the day and the moon shines the brightest at night, there is a time and a place best suited for each of our forms. Nature."
"Nature."
"Many of the older Were are more comfortable as wolf, and they will spend as much time as possible in that form. I am happy to accommodate them. Wolves are singularly beautiful animals, and I would not be unhappy to be surrounded by them all my days. My court is safe from the eyes of other species. We do not have to assume our roles on the World's stage. We are among our own kind, free to choose our form, to be bare of pretention."
"A secret?"
"Not a secret. We have nothing to hide. We do not express ourselves freely amongst the other publics. It is simply not your business. One does not flaunt gifts in front of people who do not appreciate them."
He reached into the bowl, picking out the less-buttery kernels. "Being wolf is a blessing. A gift. And the rest of the world does not understand or appreciate our views. Being wolf is release from the corruption of being human. We have instinct. Natural law. No corruption, lying, deceit. No backstabbing, no stealing, no moral decay. We are ruled by nature, honest nature."
He chewed a few moments. "That is our religion. The moon. The power it unlocks in us. That is beauty. That is honesty. We may not polish a pew in church every Sunday, but do not think we are without faith. Our gods are older than your church."
"I may not polish a pew in Church every Sunday either, but I am still Catholic."
"You might change your mind."
"And I might not."
"You are stubborn. You don't have a very open mind, do you?"